This was today's reading and gave me pause for thought. My thoughts are energy and what I think, I put out to the Universe. What I put out comes back to me.

So much of it calls for good motive and intent. Do I have good intentions towards myself and others. What is my motive for saying and doing what I do (did)?

All pause for thought! (Feb. 2, 2011.

When I re-read the quote, the thought that came to mind was, "Just because I had a feeling or a thought, didn't mean I had to act on it. That was something I had done wrong all of my life. I would see or hear and would immediately presume you were looking or talking about me and often in defense, I felt like I had to retaliate.

There was very little stop before you speak. I would hear things and perceive them as derogatory and hurtful, and would either want to pay you back or would burst out in tears and role play to the hilt. All in response to "It is your fault, look at what you made me do, if you hadn't done that, I wouldn't have...."

I took everything personal. I used my thoughts to beat myself up royally and I used your words as I perceived them to be, which were never validated, to put myself down, or I would hit back and put you down to make me feel better.

An ugly world, an unkind place, and I am glad I don't have to go there any more. I don't have to buy into other people's game and I don't have to role play and be someone I am not.

I had to heal those thoughts. I had to change the thinking. I had to allow myself to heal and forgive myself. Often it was my disease acting out. Many times it was all I knew and what I heard growing up and didn't know my thoughts were outdated.

I had to learn to allow others to have their thoughts. I just had to learn not to buy into them and give them power over me. It was important to not give up my own power. Power that I didn't know I had.

So true, the same happens with my fingers when I am typing.


Have found over the years that I have learned to hesitate and meditate before I speak. That is a real departure from the old me, even in recovery, I wanted to tell people, who it should be done!

For me to walk away and not react was and is a big step for me. I still may come back and share my own experience, strength, and hope. It just won't be done with resentment and anger. I have always been a person who has believed in standing up for what she believes in. For too many years, mum was the word and it all festered inside, only to explode in anger and hate. I am a firm believer in it isn't about what you say, it is about how you say it. When you let go of the anger and always having to be right, things can be stated in truth. Agreeing to disagree was a wonderful tool in recovery.

I think we all have a right to express our thoughts and feelings. It isn't about being right or wrong, it is about standing in our own truth. It is always my hope that what I say will help others. They don't have to agree with me, all I ask is that they keep an open mind. I try to share food for thought, that was given to me or something I heard from someone, and it gave me food for thought, and I hope it does you too.

To: YOU
Date: TODAY
From: THE BOSS
Subject: YOURSELF
Reference: LIFE

I am God. Today I will be handling all of your problems. Please remember that I do not need your help.

If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do not attempt to resolve it. Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. All situations will be resolved, but in My time, not yours.

Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now.

If you find yourself stuck in traffic; Don't despair. There are people in this world for whom driving is an unheard of privilege.

Should you have a bad day at work; Think of the man who has been out of work for years.

Should you despair over a relationship gone bad; Think of the person who has never known what it's like to love and be loved in return.

Should you grieve the passing of another weekend; Think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a week to feed her children.

Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance; Think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.

Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror; Think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes she had hair to examine.

Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what is life all about, asking what is my purpose? Be thankful. There are those who didn't live long enough to get the opportunity.

Should you find yourself the victim of other people's bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities; Remember, things could be worse. You could be one of them!

Should you decide to send this to a friend; Thank you, you may have touched their life in ways you will never know

I am sure this has been seen by many before today. For me, it always seems to arrive in my mailbox when I have a problem with letting go.

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Identify your feelings. Look for what you need in today in order to recover from As Bill Sees It:

http://csoaamaine.org/absi/

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Day by day, and with each passing moment,
Strength I find, to meet my trials here;
Trusting in my Father’s wise bestowment,
I’ve no cause for worry or for fear.
He Whose heart is kind beyond all measure
Gives unto each day what He deems best—
Lovingly, its part of pain and pleasure,
Mingling toil with peace and rest.
Every day, the Lord Himself is near me
With a special mercy for each hour;
All my cares He fain would bear, and cheer me,
He Whose Name is Counselor and Pow’r.
The protection of His child and treasure
Is a charge that on Himself He laid;
“As thy days, thy strength shall be in measure,”
This the pledge to me He made.
Help me then in every tribulation
So to trust Thy promises, O Lord,
That I lose not faith’s sweet consolation
Offered me within Thy holy Word.
Help me, Lord, when toil and trouble meeting,
E’er to take, as from a father’s hand,
One by one, the days, the moments fleeting,
Till I reach the promised land.

This was my mom's favourite hymn and we played it at her funeral. A celebration of life instead of a loss, because we know her spirit lived on.

Originally posted on another site om 2005

Recovery has to begin with me. I can`t, my God can.

A true blessing, is to find something on the shelf to help you in today.

The laughter I had today was directed at myself. Even my horoscope told me not to try to make things happen. Instead of happening, it ended up as a nothing day, every time I went to do something there was a block. It boiled down to taking a day off from the hussle and bussle of the last few days, and in the long run, I achieved what I needed by staying at home and just picking up the phone.

When I get out of my own way, things happen as they should. When I go with the flow, follow the direction of the steps, then things unfold as they should be, rather than the way I would have them be.

As they say, "If you want to make God laugh, just tell Him your plans!"

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Great words posted in 2004 on another site.

What we see in others, is a reflection of ourself. It takes one to know one. When I talk to my friend, one of us will say, "This has to be your stuff, it can't be mine." Then we laugh, because we know we have the same issues, maybe not the same circumstance triggered it, yet we all have our own trauma/experience, real or imagined.

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As we progress in recovery, the valleys aren't so low and the mountain's aren't so high. We have the tools to deal with life on life's terms and we no longer need to make mountains out of mole hills or sink into depression so low that we can't get out.

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