Bluidkiti's Alcohol and Drug Addictions Recovery Help/Support Forums

Tradition Three

The relatives of alcoholics, when gathered together for mutual aid, may call themselves an Al-Anon Family Group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation.
The one requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend.

To LEARN how to join Al-Anon or form a group, turn to Tradition Three, which tells us that any individual can join Al-Anon simply by deciding he or she is troubled by another person's drinking. A group can be formed whenever two or more persons get together to use the Al-Anon principles to help themselves. The only stipulation is that the group itself not affiliate with any other program, religion or cause. This stipulation is intentionally simple and inclusive. It insures that when anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help in dealing with the effects of another's alcoholism, Al-Anon will be there.

Most organizations have specific requirements for membership and some way to see that only those who qualify are admitted. Applications are created and obligations are spelled out. Al-Anon is different. If you think you are troubled by a drinker, you are welcome.

Al-Anon's non-affiliation with any other cause or organization keeps our purpose clear and helps us avoid controversies that could hurt our unity. Although there are many good, related endeavors, our experience indicates that we lose the vitality and effectiveness of our AI-Anon program when we stretch ourselves too thin by trying to be all things to all people.

Practicing this Tradition brings us personal growth and expanded recovery. For all who come through the doors and claim by their presence that they have a problem, we extend the hand of fellowship. We offer them unconditional love and acceptance. It is simple.

If they say they need help, they are welcome at our meetings. Once we have some personal recovery, it is tempting to shout it to the world and go out and help others. We have found that we can best serve ourselves and others by keeping it simple and focusing as a group on our Al-Anon approach to the family disease of alcoholism. In recovery, other problems often surface that may be better addressed in therapy or in another organization. When we keep our focus clear and our group consistently Al-Anon, we as individuals can then confidently seek whatever helps us in addition to Al-Anon.

Does this mean we refuse to participate if a local hospital has a treatment program for alcoholics and their families? No. It means we do not affiliate with their program. When requested we may set up beginner meetings in institutions and support those meetings by having experienced members volunteer to attend and share. An institutions group meeting, however, is still created as an AI-Anon meeting and any Al-Anon member may attend, subject to the institution's regulations. Carrying the message is important to our own recovery. If people are interested, they can be given literature, a meeting list or help to start a meeting.

Because of our extensive network of groups, Al-Anon sometimes is viewed as an attractive place to advertise products and services or to offer therapies or philosophies that relate to alcoholism. Discussion or announcement of such things could be interpreted as affiliation with them, diverting us from our primary spiritual approach to recovery.

We are always free as individuals to seek help and spiritual comfort wherever we desire. AI-Anon is a spiritual way of life, which blends positively with many different belief systems. Members belong to churches, synagogues, temples and religious groups of their choice. Some participate in therapy, treatment plans, other Twelve Step programs or community events that they find helpful. They do this in their capacity as free individuals, not as The Friday Night AI-Anon Family Group. Similarly, a group selects a name that does not imply affiliation with another entity, such as the church or institution in which the group meets.

The only requirement for membership is a problem of alcoholism in a friend or loved one. It is up to each of us to decide whether we belong. In our Al-Anon groups we discover - sometimes for the first time - how much we have in common with people who seem very different from ourselves. Soon we want to be sure that any newcomers, no matter how different they appear, will feel welcome and will be able to decide for themselves whether or not they belong.

Within the fellowship we have many different special-focus groups. As individuals we have widely varying opinions, politics, values and notions of spirituality. Unity is preserved when we remember that anyone in Al-Anon may attend any Al-Anon meeting. Focusing on a particular area of recovery does not change the fact that our similarities outweigh our differences. We have all been affected by another person's drinking. When facing the disease of alcoholism, we learn to stand together, to love unconditionally and to practice the principles daily as best we can.

In Al-Anon we talk about how the disease of alcoholism in a loved one has affected our own thinking and behavior. By sharing our Al-Anon recovery, we offer others the courage and wisdom we have found, from the perspective of having lived with an alcoholic. By concentrating on the AI-Anon message, we are challenged to search within ourselves to determine how we can best apply Al-Anon principles to our own personal recovery. "Sharing" then becomes beneficial for both the newcomer and for the messenger.

In addition, while it is important for newcomers to realize that alcoholism is a disease, it is far more important that they find safety in our meetings. Many members come to Al-Anon as a last resort and have little or no trust left in anyone, especially the alcoholics in their lives. More often than not, an Al-Anon or Ala-teen meeting is the safest place that a member can go while living with an alcoholic. Many Al-Anon members belong to other Twelve Step programs as well; in Al-Anon meetings we leave our other affiliations outside the door and focus on the Al-Anon message of recovery.

We do not use our group for other purposes or link our group to other causes, treatment programs or outside endeavors, however worthy they may be, because we want to be sure Al-Anon is always available to us and others in need of the help we have found so useful. Al-Anon has grown from a handful of dedicated individuals to a respected worldwide source of help for families and friends of alcoholics. Our experience is a valuable gift to many suffering people who want to learn how to help themselves in a fellowship of loving, caring equals. Tradition Three insures that Al-Anon remains Al-Anon.

Paths to Recovery
Al-Anon's Steps, Traditions, and Concepts