The Best I Can Hope For
 

I had no concept of what it meant for me to surrender when it was recommended that I do just that so I could live and begin my recovery. At that time I could only think of things in terms of winning and losing. I didn't know that there was something else that existed that I could do that would allow me to live with my problem without having to become defeated by it. To be defeated is to lose entirely and completely, but to stop that from happening is to know that it's enviable that it's going to happen, and to decide to throw in the towel before it does, while there is still time to, before all is lost. This is what it means to surrender and it's the best thing that I can do when it comes to me having this problem, and it's a good thing that I can because without being able to surrender would mean that I've to go on to the bitter end and become defeated and lose everything in the process. There's no future for me in trying to win when it comes to me having this problem and when I surrender I won't become defeated by it. I now know that this is the best I can hope for. I won't ever be able to win if I surrender, but at the same time I will never be able to lose either, and I'll take that.