[bluidkiti]

April 24

Daily Reflections

LEARNING TO LOVE OURSELVES

Alcoholism was a lonely business, even though we were
surrounded by people who loved us... We were trying to
find emotional security either by dominating or by being
dependent upon others . . . We still vainly tried to be
secure by some unhealthy sort of domination or dependence.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 252

When I did my personal inventory I found that I had
unhealthy relationships with most people in my life-
my friends and family, for example. I always felt isolated
and lonely. I drank to dull emotional pain.
It was through staying sober, having a good sponsor and
working the Twelve Steps that I was able to build up my
low self-esteem. First the Twelve Steps taught me to become
my own best friend, and then, when I was able to love
myself, I could reach out and love others.

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Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

It's been proved that we alcoholics can't get sober by our
willpower. We've failed again and again. Therefore I believe
there must be a Higher Power which helps me. I think of that
power as the grace of God. And I pray to God every morning
for the strength to stay sober today. I know that power is
there because it never fails to help me. Do I believe that
AA. works through the grace of God?

Meditation For The Day

Once I am "born of the spirit," that is my life's breath.
Within me is the life of life, so that I can never perish.
The life that down the ages has kept God's children through
peril, adversity, and sorrow. I must try never to doubt or
worry, but follow where the life of the spirit leads. How
often, when little I know it, God goes before me to prepare
the way, to soften a heart, or to overrule a resentment. As
the life of the spirit grows, natural wants become less
important.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that my life may become centered in God more than in
self. I pray that my will may be directed toward doing His will.

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As Bill Sees It

Essence of Growth, p. 115

Let us never fear needed change. Certainly we have to discriminate
between changes for better. But once a need becomes clearly apparent
in an individual, in a group, or in A.A. as a whole, it has long since been
found out that we cannot stand still and look the other way.

The essence of all growth is a willingness to change for the better and
then an unremitting willingness to shoulder whatever responsibility this
entails.

Grapevine, July 1965

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Walk in Dry Places

Do I trigger gossip? ______ Personal inventory.
There is a saying that "listening to gossip is gossip". How true! If there were no listeners, there would never be any gossip.
Some of us who pride ourselves in refraining from gossip may still have a problem with it. It's possible we still keep our ears open for any juicy gossip that could fall our way. We might also "shake the tree" if we believe another person has some gossip to share with us. This is done in seemingly innocent ways, sometimes just by mentioning the name of a person to another who may have strong opinions to express.
The harm of gossip lies in what we do to ourselves when we engage in it. There is no way we can continue to have spiritual growth if we practice gossip, even as passive listeners. Spiritual growth takes place within us, and it needs an environment completely free of an ill will.
Let's beware of any tendency to say things that induce others to gossip. At the same time, let's tune out gossip that seems to occur spontaneously. Gossip is the enemy of the growth we desire.
It is a real relief to know that today I have no desire to spread gossip or listen to it. This includes things I might read in magazines or newspapers.

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Keep It Simple

The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which bridge to burn.---David Russell
Making big decisions is like crossing bridges. Sometimes, these decisions change our lives. We find that turning back will be very hard. This is why we have to be very careful when we decide to burn bridges. When we decide to make changes, we act carefully. We don't want to make decisions out of anger or envy. Instead , we can think about what we want and how our program can help us make wise decisions.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me cross those bridges that are on my path.
Action for the Day: What do I really want in life? What decisions do I need to make to get there?

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Each Day a New Beginning

She knows omnipotence has heard her prayer and cries "it shall be done--sometime, somewhere." --Ophelia Guyon Browning
Patience is a quality that frequently eludes us. We want what we want when we want it. Fortunately, we don't get it until the time is right, but the waiting convinces us our prayers aren't heard. We must believe that the answer always comes in its own special time and place. The frustration is that our timetable is seldom like God's.
When we look back over the past few weeks, months, or even years, we can recall past prayers. Had they all been answered at the time of request, how different our lives would be. We are each on a path unique to us, offering special lessons to be learned. Just as a child must crawl before walking, so must we move slowly, taking the steps in our growth in sequence.
Our prayers will be answered, sometime, somewhere. Of that we can be sure. They will be answered for our greater good. And they will be answered at the right time, the right place, in the right way.
I am participating in a much bigger picture than the one in my individual prayers. And the big picture is being carefully orchestrated. I will trust the part I have been chosen to play. And I can be patient.

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM

“I went to my hotel and leisurely dressed for dinner. As I crossed the threshold of the dinning room, the thought came to mind that it would be nice to have a couple of cocktails with dinner. That was all. Nothing more. I ordered a cocktail and my meal. Then I ordered another cocktail. After dinner I decided to take a walk. When I returned to the hotel it struck me a highball would be fine before going to bed, so I stepped into the bar and had one. I remember having several more that night and plenty next morning. I have a shadowy recollection of being in a airplane bound for New York, and of finding a friendly taxicab driver at the landing field instead of my wife. The driver escorted me for several days. I know little of where I went or what I said and did. Then came the hospital with the unbearable mental and physical suffering.

p. 41

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories

ME AN ALCOHOLIC? - Alcohol's wringer squeezed this author--but he escaped quite whole.

After my last binge I came home and smashed my dining room furniture to splinters, kicked out six windows and two balustrades. When I woke up sober, my handiwork confronted me. It is impossible for me to reproduce my despair.
p. 385

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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Tradition One - "Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon A.A. Unity."

The unity of Alcoholics Anonymous it the most cherished quality our Society has. Our lives, the lives of all to come, depend squarely upon it. We stay whole, or A.A. dies. Without unity, the heart of A.A. would cease to beat; our world arteries would no longer carry the life-giving grace of God; His gift to us would be spent aimlessly. Back again in their caves, alcoholics would reproach us and say, "What a great thing A.A. might have been!"

p. 129

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"With the gift of listening comes the gift of healing."
--Catherine de Hueck Doherty

"Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power."
--Shirley MacLaine

Encourage your friends, family and co-workers to think positive.
Their enthusiasm will boost you as well.
--Anonymous

Take a break. Move around. Learn to change your perspective.
Maybe you don't need to change what you're looking at. You just need
to change where you stand.
--Melody Beattie

One step at a time. That's how you will get where you are going. You
are being led, each step of the way.
--Melody Beattie

Focus not on circumstances but on our loving and unchanging God.
--Robert Truesdale

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Father Leo's Daily Meditation

MAN

"Man is what he believes. "
--Anton Chekhov

My miracle is that I now believe in me. Today I accept my disease of
addiction and I do not resist or deny it. I believe that I am an alcoholic. I
believe that I am an overeater. I am a co-dependent. I believe that I am
an adult child of an alcoholic. And this belief enables me to be free.

For too long I played the game of control; blaming and bargaining - and
I lost. Now I choose to surrender to the reality of who I am. I accept my
disease on a daily basis and I make choices with the awareness of my
disease. And it is getting better.

My belief about my addiction has also given me an insight into God and
His gift of freedom. He loves me enough to give me choice and with this
gift comes responsibility. I believe that I am responsible for how I live
with my addictions. Today I accept that responsibility.

What I believe reflects the God I believe in; I believe in Freedom.

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"And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another,
just as God in Christ forgave you."
Ephesians 4:32

"For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there
in the midst of them."
Matthew 18:20

"Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler,
And from the perilous pestilence. He shall cover you with His
feathers, And under His wings you shall take refuge; His
truth shall be your shield and buckler."
Psalm 91:3-4

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Daily Inspiration

To allow past problems into your present moments can make you feel depressed, worried and overwhelmed. Lord, help me to let go of that which I can do nothing about so that I can take care of that which I can.

If you would be ashamed to sign your name to your conversation, don't say it. Lord, my words can have far reaching effects. May the effect always be good.

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NA Just For Today

Twelve Steps Of Life

"Through abstinence and through working the Twelve Steps of Narcotics Anonymous, our lives have become useful."
Basic Text, p. 8

Before coming to Narcotics Anonymous, our lives were centered around using. For the most part, we had very little energy left over for jobs, relationships, or other activities. We served only our addiction.

The Twelve Steps of Narcotics Anonymous provide a simple way to turn our lives around. We start by staying clean, a day at a time. When our energy is no longer channeled into our addiction, we find that we have the energy to pursue other interests. As we grow in recovery, we become able to sustain healthy relationships. We become trustworthy employees. Hobbies and recreation seem more inviting. Through participation in Narcotics Anonymous, we help others.

Narcotics Anonymous does not promise us that we will find good jobs, loving relationships, or a fulfilling life. But when we work the Twelve Steps to the best of our ability, we find that we can become the type of people who are capable of finding employment, sustaining loving relationships, and helping others. We stop serving our disease, and begin serving God and others. The Twelve Steps are the key to transforming our lives.

Just for today: I will have the wisdom to use the Twelve Steps in my life, and the courage to grow in my recovery I will practice my program to become a responsible, productive member of society.

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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
My life has been a tapestry of rich and royal hue, An everlasting vision of the everchanging view, A wondrous woven magic in bits of blue and gold, A tapestry to feel and see, impossible to hold. --Carole King
Our lives are patchwork quilts of mismatched fabrics, all stitched together by an invisible seamstress. The tattered, blood-red scraps of quarrels, the beige of pastry crust baked on Saturdays in a grandmother's kitchen that always smelled sweet, the brilliant colors of our happy moments--picnics and sunsets and laughter--all these are necessary pieces of the tapestry of our lives, even our cold, white doubts and emptiness.
All the colors of life sewn together with the green thread of growth. We are a mixture of feelings and experiences. Often, we want to cut away a square of painful memory. But without it, our quilt would lose its beauty, for contrast would disappear. If a piece is removed, the rest is weakened and incomplete.
How well can I accept any pain I feel today as a part of my own beauty?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
I shall tell you a great secret, my friend. Do not wait for the last judgment. It takes place every day. --Albert Camus
We live our program in one-day portions - and our actions today have immediate consequences. For instance, if we listen to a brother or a sister in the program, we may be enriched and the other person strengthened for today's challenge. We don't have to confront every temptation of life on this day - only the portion we can handle. Our old insanity would have us predict the entire story of our future from today's limited viewpoint. But our spiritual orientation
guides us to restrain ourselves. We simply live in this moment.
The rewards of recovery are granted every day. We begin with the gift of a new day and new possibilities. We now have relationships that sustain us through difficulty and give us reason to celebrate. We have a new feeling of self-respect and hope.
I am grateful for the rewards of each day in my spiritual awakening.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
She knows omnipotence has heard her prayer and cries "it shall be done--sometime, somewhere." --Ophelia Guyon Browning
Patience is a quality that frequently eludes us. We want what we want when we want it. Fortunately, we don't get it until the time is right, but the waiting convinces us our prayers aren't heard. We must believe that the answer always comes in its own special time and place. The frustration is that our timetable is seldom like God's.
When we look back over the past few weeks, months, or even years, we can recall past prayers. Had they all been answered at the time of request, how different our lives would be. We are each on a path unique to us, offering special lessons to be learned. Just as a child must crawl before walking, so must we move slowly, taking the steps in our growth in sequence.
Our prayers will be answered, sometime, somewhere. Of that we can be sure. They will be answered for our greater good. And they will be answered at the right time, the right place, in the right way.
I am participating in a much bigger picture than the one in my individual prayers. And the big picture is being carefully orchestrated. I will trust the part I have been chosen to play. And I can be patient.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Lessons on the Job
Often, the spiritual and recovery lessons were learning at work reflect the lessons were learning in other areas of our life.
Often, the systems were attracted to in our working life are similar to the systems in which we find ourselves living and loving. Those are the systems that reflect our issues and can help us learn our lessons.
Are we slowly learning to trust ourselves at work? How about at home? Are we slowly learning to take care of ourselves at work? How about at home? Are we slowly learning boundaries and self-esteem, overcoming fear, and dealing with feelings?
If we search back over our work history, we will probably see that it is a mirror of our issues, our growth. It most likely is now too.
For today, we can believe that we are right where we need to be - at home and at work.
Today, I will accept my present circumstances on the job. I will reflect on how what I am learning in my life applies to what Im learning at work. If I don't know, I will surrender to the experience until that becomes clear. God, help me accept the work I have been given to do today. Help me be open to and learn what I need to be learning. Help me trust that it can and will be good.


Today I can set my goals with the clear and confident knowledge that I can only do one thing at a time and take one step at a time towards that goal. I do not need to wait until I reach the goal to be happy and satisfied. I am fulfilled with each step, knowing that is all I can do in each moment. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Change Your Perspective

Sometimes a slight difference in where we stand can dramatically change how we see things.

One morning, shortly after sunrise, I climbed to the top of a mesa in Sedona. I’d been there the day before, staring at the shapes and forms of the other mesas, and gazing down upon the city. Now this morning I sat in a different place to meditate and to look around. The spot where I sat this day was only a few feet from where I’d sat before, but the view looked entirely different. I saw different shapes and forms in the mesas. I saw a different view of the city, the world below.

We often need to change our position so we can see things differently. We don’t have to make a dramatic change, we just need to move around a little. Perhaps an unresolved issue is blocking our vision, blocking us from seeing the beauty that’s there. Maybe a bit of anger or self-contempt is interfering with our vision. Maybe the changes we need to make are minor, much less than we thought. Maybe we simply need to look at whatever we are viewing without fear, to change our mood and see it with the eyes of love.

Take a break. Move around. Learn to change your perspective. Maybe you don’t need to change what you’re looking at. You just need to change where you stand.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Put your intentions out there

Be clear on what you want. If you’re starting a business, taking a new job, learning a new skill, or beginning a relationship, state clearly to yourself what you’re looking for. What level of performance are you hoping to reach? Stay realistic, but not pessimistic. What do you want? Be clear with the universe about what your intentions are. Be as specific as you can be.

If you’re on the dating scene, what are you looking for? Some fun? A spouse? Be clear and specific about what you want.

After you’ve focused and clarified your intentions, then let your intentions go. Sometimes in life we can’t get what we want. Other times, we can. And sometimes the journey to getting there is full of twists and turns, much more of an adventure than anything we could have planned.

Besides, the clearer we can be about what we want, the easier it will be to recognize and enjoy it when it comes our way.

God, help me be clear with you and myself about what I really want. Then, help me let go of my intentions and surrender to your plan.

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In God’s Care

God creates out of nothing. Therefore until a man is nothing, God can make nothing out of him.
~~Martin Luther

To bring our addictions under control, we had to surrrender them – and our willpower – to a higher authority. God relieves us of our compulsions as soon as we admit that we are powerless over them. But surrender doesn’t end there. If we wish to move beyond that point – to grow spiritually, to gain peace of mind – relinquishing our self-will must become habitual. We must give God a clean slate every hour, every day.

When we think we have everything under control, we are in trouble. A Course In Miracles tells us, “Whenever you think you know, peace will depart from you, because you have abandoned the Teacher of peace.” Moreover, it is when we admit we do not know how to run our life that peace returns. We invite God back by turning a deaf ear to our selfish ego.

I offer God a clean slate on which to write my life.

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Freeing Yourself
Knowing When to Let Someone Go

by Madisyn Taylor

Knowing when to let somebody go and leave a relationship is a true act of self-love.

Just as a good relationship can have a positive impact on your life, stressful, draining, or imbalanced relationships can have negative effects on your health and well-being. It’s common to maintain a relationship because we feel the other person needs us or we believe that they will eventually change. We may also be afraid of hurting the other person or feel insecure in our ability to find new relationships. But knowing when to end a relationship and acknowledging that the pain will pass can often prevent greater pain and feelings of loss in the long run.

If you’re in a relationship that isn’t satisfying or one that has become unhealthy for you, rather than spending energy attempting to fix the problem or complaining, ask yourself what you really want from the relationship. Consider whether the other person truly considers your feelings or if they are willing to change their behavior. Ask yourself if you’ve often thought about ending the relationship or if you feel your bonds have atrophied. While every relationship has ups and downs, when there are more downs than ups or the two of you are bringing out the worst in each other, it may be time to sever the connection. Be honest with yourself and your answers, even if the truth is painful.

Relationships thrive on honesty, communication, mutual caring, and time spent together. When one or more of these elements are missing, it may be that the relationship, no matter how passionate, simply isn’t worth it. It’s far better to end a relationship that doesn’t feel right than to hold on to it and languish in feelings of anger or resentment. Moving on without struggle, on the other hand, can be the door that leads you to a more nurturing relationship in the future. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

We come to know in The Program that there is no deeper satisfaction and no greater joy than in a Twelfth Step well done. To watch the eyes of men and women open with wonder as they move from darkness to light, to see their lives quickly fill with new purpose and meaning, and above all to watch them awaken to the presence of a loving God in their lives — these things are the substance of what we receive as we carry the message of The Program. Am I learning through Twelfth Step experiences that gratitude should go forward, rather than backward?

Today I Pray

May my Twelfth Steps be a wholehearted and as convincing and as constructive as others’ Twelfth-Stepping has been to me. May I realize that the might of The Program and its effectiveness for all of us come through “passing it on.” When I guide someone else to sobriety, my own sobriety is underlined and reinforced. I humbly ask God’s guidance before each Twelfth Step.

Today I Will Remember

To pass it on.

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One More Day

To struggle when hope is banished.
To live when life’s salt is gone!
To dwell in a dream that’s vanished –
To endure, and go calmly on!
– Ben Jonson

At times we all dwell in the mansions created by our own dreams. When dream rooms are the only ones we visit, however, reality will jar us back to the present. We then have only two choices: to move forward or to live continually in the past.

Just when it seems there is no future, that there is no chance to ever live a normal life again, a thread of hope surfaces, and we struggle onward. Recognition that we can — and are — still enduring gives rise to hope and helps us go calmly on.

Dreams are sacred to me, but I must live in the present so I can survive day to day.

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Food For Thought

Hungry or Bored?

When we ate compulsively, we often interpreted boredom to be hunger. When there seemed to be nothing else to do, we could always eat! Unstructured time may have made us anxious; we thought we could fill up with food and allay our anxieties.

To be egotistical and self-centered is to be bored. If we are always the center of our awareness, we will soon tire of ourselves, since none of us is all that fascinating. In order to escape boredom, we need to turn our attention outward and focus on something besides self.

When we give our lives to our Higher Power, we are making a commitment of service. We are asking that His will be done and that He use us as He sees fit. By relieving us of our obsession, God frees us from slavery to our appetites. If we are to remain free, we need to serve Him instead of ourselves. Day by day, He shows us our tasks and as we become absorbed in them, we lose our boredom along with our false hunger.

May I know the true nourishment of doing Your will.

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One Day At A Time

~ Loneliness ~

Feeling our loneliness magnifies it.
Understanding our loneliness can open doors into our self-awareness,
which we long for and need.
Anthony Robbins

Before I found my Twelve Step program, I felt so lonely. I was stuck in total isolation and the feeling of loneliness felt one hundred times worse. The isolation and loneliness caused me to continually eat ... and so I'd isolate more. What a vicious cycle!

When I found my recovery program, I still wanted to isolate. When going to meetings, I wanted the seat with nobody around it. I didn't want to open my mouth to share or talk, even after the meeting. I kept coming back even though I felt alone, because I heard familiar things that really interested me. I eventually saw that most of the people in the room felt the same loneliness I did. I began to understand why I felt so lonely.

When I understood that my compulsive eating was causing me to isolate and be more lonely, a big burden was lifted off my shoulders. I finally felt some hope! Then I found that there were many other doors in the past that I should open and become more aware of. These past happenings were what started and fueled this disease of compulsive eating. I wanted to know but I was also afraid to find out.

The similarities, kindness and love I found in the rooms made it easier to look at my past. Understanding that I was not the total reason for my loneliness, I began making amends. I needed to forgive others who had harmed me and those I had harmed. I felt lighter and more self aware, and confidence began to emerge.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will remember that it's okay and good to feel my feelings but they don't have to rule my life. I don't have to let loneliness magnify, causing me to eat uncontrollably to solve the problem. I've learned to turn things over to my Higher Power and to let them go. Looking back is the key to my self-awareness and my recovery.
~ Jeanette ~

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AA 'Big Book' - Quote

Nearly every modern employer feels a moral responsibility for the well-being of his help, and he tries to meet these responsibilities. That he has not always done so for the alcoholic is easily understood. To him the alcoholic has often seemed a fool of the first magnitude. Because of the employee's special ability, or of his own strong personal attachment to him, the employer has sometimes kept such a man at work long beyond a reasonable period. Some employers have tried every known remedy. In only a few instances has there been a lack of patience and tolerance. And we, who have imposed on the best of employers, can scarcely blame them if they have been short with us. - Pgs. 137-138 - To Employers

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

Irrational actions and comments made in stress-filled moments can keep you awake at night. If you have said or done something unkind or irrational yesterday or today, you can resolve the situation by making amends as soon as you get off this computer.

I forgive myself for whatever irrational and unkind thing I may have done. I do this by making amends to whomever I have hurt and I do it promptly.

The Power is in the Now

I recognize that the present is alive and vibrant and creative. All of the creative power of this alive and radiant universe is in the present, in the here and now. If I align myself with the present, if I allow myself to fully experience this moment, I will find all I need in it. There is magic in this moment, there is beauty and vibrancy in it that resonates throughout my life. What I experience now, creates my future.

There is nothing like the present

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

Recovery is not the absence of conflict but the ability to cope with it.

My recovery comes from new daily habits I form in seconds, minutes, and hours of simple Twelve-Step living.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

Pray like you mean it.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

Today I am practicing looking at all beings with the eyes of compassion. Not only do I feel good when I come from a place of love and understanding, I also feel useful and connected.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

I'm just grateful for a door that opens from both sides. - Sailor Bill.