Quick Jokes: "Not Too Swift" Edition
A woman goes to the vet with her goldfish.
"I think it's got epilepsy" she tells the vet.
The vet takes a look and says "It seems calm enough to me".
The woman says, "well wait - I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet!"
--------
An old Irish farmer's dog goes missing and he's inconsolable.
His wife says "Why don't you put an advert in the paper?"
He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing.
"What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks.
"What else? 'Here boy!'" he replies.
--------
A guy shouts frantically into the phone "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.
"No", shouts the guy, "this is her husband!"
__________________
"No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy
AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K.
When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt
We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time!
God says that each of us is worth loving.