Wisdom Of The Rooms - 2024

[bluidkiti]

June 17, 2024

Quote of the Week

"We weaken what we exaggerate."

I have a habit of exaggerating things to make sure you get the full impact of what I’m trying to say. This was especially bad when I was drinking excessively. On and on I would go, embellishing as I did, on how bad my financial prospects were, or on how badly I had been treated by [fill in the blank]. I would exaggerate everything because I was sure you weren’t listening or that you didn’t really care anymore. And after years of my lying, making things up, and exaggerating, who could blame you?

When I put down the bottle and entered recovery, I continued to exaggerate and elaborate on the stories of what had been done to me. “You just don’t understand,” I would often begin. “But my case is different,” was a frequent reply. After a while, my sponsor had me inventory my experiences, concentrating my attention on the invisible fourth column: “my part.” As I did, I found that the exaggerated role I had been assigning to others was actually more my responsibility. And as I got honest and began owning my side of the street in things, I found less need to exaggerate my experiences. People began listening to and trusting me again.

These days, as my wife frequently reminds me, I am still inclined to exaggerate to emphasize how people, places, and things still don’t go my way. But I’ve learned something very valuable: when I stay focused on my part and relate my experience honestly and sincerely, I no longer have to weaken my story by exaggerating (much). Today, there is less drama in my life because I no longer try to minimize my role in how my life turns out. And there is no reason to exaggerate, and thereby weaken, my stories to feel okay.