Just for today, I will be willing to be willing to change my diet. It isn't about the honey buns. It isn't about the ice cream. It is about me and my eating them, knowing what is going to happen, and doing it any way. I pray that the obsessive/compulsive feelings I have be changed. I ask for what I need to be willing to be willing to stop eating them. Ironically, I realized tonight, I am not sure I like them any more. I am an addict, and my drug of choice is more.

The substance is but a symptom of my disease, the problem is me.

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Just for today, I am just going to sit back and do as little as possible, read my book, cook my chicken, and hopefully the day will flow and I will find some peace. Not sure how much I can block out my son's space movie playing in the back ground, but will try to absorb it and all that is around me, into one beat in tune with my God.

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Just for today, I will try to have patience with my computer and with myself. Some funny kind of arrow has been floating around and not sure why. Trying to be patient with me practicing patience. Being grateful to Angelwinks for giving me the cards I need each day.

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Just for today, I will go with the flow. I planned to go to the noon Tuesday meeting, I even woke up in time. Going into the shower, my left leg hurt, after I came out, the right leg started acting up. I got dressed, went to the pharmacy to hand in my docette for next week's medication and it hurt to walk. I had check the weather and it called for rain and thunder storms, so I went back home. I planned to post, started up my computer, and the next thing I knew, I was in my bed and slept for 3 hours. This was after sleeping at least 9 hours last night. Tonight it is raining and have yet to hear any thunder, but my body wants to go back to bed. I will let it go back to bed after I finish posting for today. Posting so far has meant a lot of editing, but we will get through it, a moment at a time.

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Just for today, I will forgive myself. I walked out of the house at 11 a.m. and forgot to take my morning medication, and I ate brunch and should have had my lunch medications. I get a docette so I know what I have missed. It is not good that I missed my heart and blood pressure medication and go traipsing across town on the bus to Walmart. Did some walking, but had to call our shopping off and head home as I was getting a head ache. For most of my life, one of my motto's has been, "I can't stand stupidity, especially in myself." Well I did do a dumb thing, and I know my God forgives me, I just have to quit beating up on myself.

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Just for today, I will give thanks to my God for being with me today. When I went to the hospital this morning, I was given six pages to read and put my initials and the date on each page. As I read on it warned me of what could happen if I took the test, I wasn't nervous before, but it got kind of scary as I read along. Then I told myself, this is fear and realized I had done the test before in 2011. When the started the procedure, I told them to do their darnedest. My word, better than damedest, don't you think. That is good for a girl who swore like a trooper when she came into recovery.

The procedure did give me a head ache. They put dye which was radio active into my blood stream. They gave me caffeine by intervenes to take it away. They did give me a wee cup of cranberry juice. Felt like asking for 'more' when I finished, but didn't. I wanted to connect with Darts.

They were kind enough to put in for a porter before I was finished; so one would be there when I was ready to go home. You had to travel from the back to the front of the hospital and I would have got lost for sure. They put me in the emerald green wheelchair with a wire frame, not something you want to sit on long, I assure you. My pick up time was for 11:30 am; but I had it in my mind, I needed to be there for 11:15 am. I was there about 8 minutes after 11 and Darts showed up at 11:15 am exactly.

It had started raining while I was in and out of their cylinder and on the way home it poured so hard, the windshield could hardly do it's job.

So I have so much to be grateful. They were very good to me. I knew my God was with me because the fear left, faith appeared. I was given the message to be on time for Darts. Can't do much better than that, except for the sleep I had when I got home.

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Just for today, I will put more gratitude into my attitude. I have had good days, so I shouldn't grumble about some rough nights. Perhaps if I had gone to bed earlier when I got off my computer instead of picking up my book, I wouldn't have swollen feet and pain.

Not sure if the head ache is from the dye this morning or some energy that I am picking up. Either way, I will ask for the healing and hopefully it will go.

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Just for Today, I will practice patience and tolerance. So far not doing to good at it, I bought my son a pack of smokes because his cigarette guy wasn't available yesterday. He is like a bear and it is not good to be around him when he doesn't have one, let alone try to do something with him. I did it for my own peace of mind and serenity. I remember what it was like when I smoked.

Someone this morning said, "It is a beautiful morning." I said, "Yes it is. Any day the sun shines, it is a beautiful day.

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Just for today, I will not beat myself up. As they say, if you slept, you must have needed it. I closed show here about 1:40 pm and went straight to my bed. I thought I looked at the clock at 3:05 pm but when I rolled myself out of bed, it said 4:31 pm. I have dishes to do and dinner to prepare and here it is almost 5 pm.. Can't believe I slept that long as I went to bed this morning at 4:30 am and woke up at 12:30 pm. I have been a real sleepy head as my aunt use to say. I guess my body is trying to catch up on all the nights I didn't sleep.

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Just for today, I will practice patience and tolerance. I have a son who is in active addiction and it is difficult to detach from him and not open my mouth to give him some good orderly direction. I have to remember I am not his HP, who he doesn't believe in anyway.

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Just for today, I will put aside my ego. I will be open to the teaching of the program and not think that I know it all. This is a one day at a time program, it is a journey, not a destination.

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Just for today, I will take a time out and have a spiritual retreat. I will get in touch with my Creator and be open to His beautiful creations. That includes my brothers and sisters in this program and friend we have outside of the program. This is a "We" program, without you, there is no me.

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Just for today, I will pray and ask for patience, even though I know that I will get thinks to tolerate to practice on. Practice makes perfect they say. I don't know, I have been practicing for 25 years and I still don't always get it right. So glad this program is one day at a time.

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Just for today, I am trying to accept what is in the moment. I went for an adjustment at my chiropractor's and he was happy with the results. Me, I have a sore neck. Mind you it was sore before I saw him, so can't blame him, just hoping that the pain will pass. It doesn't stop me from typing and that is good. I have been having a lot of errors lately.

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Just for today, I will enjoy what is left of my day, and probably most of the night. Didn't have all that much pain, but for some reason, I didn't want to go to bed. I caught up on some Beat Bobby Flay programs I had recorded and a Tanked show too. I didn't have time during the day, probably because I was sleeping. I woke up a couple of times, hurt to move, so just snuggled back and went back to sleep. It looks like we have had rain all day, but it has stopped now and the sun shining.

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Just for today, I will be more productive. I will try to get the laundry done that has been calling me from behind my back, while I sit at the computer. I don't sleep at night and then sleep the day away. I don't like doing this, especially if it is sunny. If it is raining, like yesterday, I roll over and go back to sleep.

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Just for today, I don't like the image looking back at me in the mirror. I look like I have had more sleep, which I have. The thing that bothers me is that it looks like my face is now swollen. The fluid is all through my body, so not sure what is happening. I am going to call the doctor's office in the morning, if I can get some sleep between now and 9 a.m. when they open. Must remember to love myself and try to do what I need to do. I have prayed and asked for what I need to change.

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Just for today, I will hope that today will be a better day. I have places to go and things to do, so hopefully my body will oblige me.

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Just for today, I am working on my acceptance. I accept my disease, but today I had to work on my dis-ease. All these doctors appointments are driving me crazy, especially when I can't spell or pronounce their name.

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Just for today, I will be happy. I will have a program and will use it in all areas of my life.

Just for today, I will give thanks. I feel very blessed. My prayers have been answered. I am now off the medication that I felt was giving me the head aches. More will be revealed next week, two medications stopped, two new medications to replace them. Another medication is half the amount of previous prescription. I have no valves blocked, but I do have a weak heart, which I think was caused by the old medication.

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Just for today, I will continue to show my gratitude while I go three days of cleansing from my old medication to make room for one that is quite new on the market and people have given it two thumbs up, which is a good sign for me. As the saying goes, that keeps popping up in front of me says, "No pain, no gain." I want to say, "Enough already." Again I have to remember, I have to accept what is in the moment, knowing it is subject to change.

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Just for today, I will trust the process. My son informed me that I always worry and that I was alright and there was nothing wrong with me. He doesn't see my body as I do, and he discounts my pain, because he knows I have it every day, whether I tell him or not. He says, "You always have it mom." It is the new aches and pains that had me stressed today until I realized what I was doing. I start the new medication for my heart on Tuesday. In the mean time, I am detoxing my body from the old, so I can start the new. How can I forget, that is how it works.

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Just for today, I will show my gratitude by sharing my story with others. Gratitude is an action word, it is better shown than just spoken.

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Just for today, I will take the advice I so freely give to others. Take care of yourself, do what is good for you and your recovery in today.

Yesterday was a very big day, didn't have much sleep last night so came home from my meeting and went to my bed. My son woke me up at 9 pm. or there about, not too sure. :(

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Just for today, I will make plans, but I won't plan the outcome. My goal is to go to the library. I have 6 books to go back and seven to pick up. I am watching tennis, and have much more to watch. Have nothing else planned for the weekend, it is a good thing. They call for heat and storms.

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Just for today, I will listen to my body. In order to get my grocery shopping done, I need to take myself back to my bed. With a head ache and a slight fever, I think I qualify. In today, I have to check my motive and intent. Am I hiding from the world, am I sick, do I need the rest, or am I just hiding from life in general? This is something I did for years, not something I do much of in today. There are not enough hours in a day and don't like to spend it in my bed.

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Just for today, I will try to get motivated and do what I need to do, Part of that is posting and not letting the day go by.

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Just for today, I will practice my patience and learn to tolerate the things in my life. I have to remember it isn't about the other person, it is all about me and my attitude.

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Just for today, I must work on my acceptance. My Fibromyalgia had come out of remission and making itself known. I have to accept that I typed this out and somehow, I closed all my windows that I had open, and my server too and have to do this twice.

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Just for today, I will pray for the good orderly direction I need for my relationships with my immediate family, my recovery family, and my internet family. I pray that I be given the words I need and be give the wisdom to know the difference and not interfere when it is in their best interest to find the way for themselves.

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Just for today, I will put my company manner's on as my son's says. Being with family and in-laws, can be trying, if you don't have the right attitude.

I don't know if it was ego or pride that made me feel good to dress up and feel good within myself. If I didn't pay attention to my aching feet, I had a good time. My shoes were the first thing off when I got home. What do they say, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." Unfortunately, when I look in the mirror, I don't see a lot of beauty, even after all these years. So grateful it is a program of practice, practice, practice.

Like this, they say we are suppose to become our own best friend.

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Just for today I will:

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Just for today, I will try to be patient. I don't know when I will get a call from Home Care to talk to me about whether I qualify for a subsidy to get a chair or scooter. If all goes through it can be 6-8 weeks before I get the chair. I have waited this long, I can wait a little longer.

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Just for today, I will not take my pain out on other people. My sister said, "If you want I'll have a pity party for you." I said, "I don't want a pity party. I just want you to pray that I will be able to get out of bed in the morning. I want to be able to go to my home group, whether I fell today or not.

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Just for today, I will work my program to the best of my ability. I will try to remember that it is a day at a time and this too shall pass. Some things do not turn out the way we 'expect' them to be, and we have to accept our limitations.

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