Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - March

[bluidkiti]

March 1

Step by Step

Today, enough! No more self-defeatism from failing to attain perfection when perfection is impossible. No more self-abuse by drinking myself into oblivion every night, awakening to a shot of whisky to calm the shakes. No more dodging responsibilities to myself, other people and my employer. No more watching the clock for the 10 a.m. mid-morning hit from the bottom hidden in my car in the employee parking lot, and no more counting minutes to race home and again start drinking myself into oblivion. Enough! No more! Recovery begins today. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

BEST EFFORTS

If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain.

~ Emily Dickinson ~

Success can’t be measured by the numbers of those who have heard a message of hope for a better life. We constantly remind ourselves of this whenever a single cry for help arses. One success in a 12 Step Group more than makes up for any number of failures.

We can never feel discouraged by delays in success. We keep giving the message since we know that God’s delay does not mean God’s denial.

When success comes we are reminded not to let pride carry us away. We have learned in recovery to keep our winnings in proper perspective.

I am not in the results business. My main task is to make my best effort. Results are added benefits.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Every man I meet is in some way my superior.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

When we are in a competitive frame of mind, we compare ourselves to those around us. We may conclude that we are better in some ways and worse in other ways. Perhaps the smallest part of our personality takes a dark pleasure in looking down on others. Some of us feel inferior to almost everyone.

The true measure of a man has many dimensions. Is he physically strong, mentally determined, generous, a good father, a good partner, courageous, honest, wise, warm-hearted, responsible for himself, intelligent, musically talented, athletically gifted, a good communicator? Good qualities are countless. No one has all of them—and sometimes too much of a good thing is a bad thing. When we reach the place where we accept ourselves and make peace with who we are, we can comfortably accept everyone else, knowing that their strengths and weaknesses add up in different ways, and everyone deserves basic human respect.

Today I will practice respect for everyone I meet.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Recovery is an intensely spiritual process that asks us to grow in our understanding of God.

~ Melody Beattie ~

God isn’t defined for us in any Twelve Step program. We have the freedom to create any image that pleases us. The shaming God of our youth can be gone. Instead we can call upon a Higher Power for guidance in handling the changing circumstances of our lives. Listening to other women in our group share their beliefs about God makes us aware of how valuable the guidance will be.

Never must we handle anything alone. Never. Understanding this influences how we perceive every situation in our lives. Circumstances that used to baffle or overwhelm us do so no longer. Snarled relationships untangle, and God’s presence Is evident everywhere. The more we trust in the Presence, the more conscious we are of it. The more we believe, the better our journey.

Believing in God’s presence today will make every experience rich with meaning. I am not alone, now or ever. 

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I feel lighter and stronger

When I was still using – and even after several months of abstinence – it seemed that much in my life was a struggle. Some days it took all I had to get through the day (or the hour). I didn’t think I could do it.

But I held on (I guess I had faith). And these days I find myself feeling lighter. The obsession has truly been lifted and my emotional problems are manageable. I feel less vulnerable. I feel stronger in my program. I do not feel the fear as before. These days I feel more alive than I can scarcely remember. I sense that I can do what a need to do for my recovery. Slowly, the Promises that follow Step Nine are coming true.

Today I will thank my higher power for my progress and pray for deeper acceptance of my life.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

As we are enveloped with hurt, so are we also nourished with the energy of new growth.

~ Mary Summers ~

In the writings of St. John of the Cross, the “dark night” is a time of disorientation and confusion. But it is also a time of deep healing. Though we struggle in darkness, it is at this time that our Higher Power is working the hardest to guide us through to renewed health and wholeness. It has been proven time and time again that new possibilities are on the horizon even as we plow through times of darkest despair and deepest sadness.

Looking out, inward, and through our pain, we glimpse that new light of hope. A willingness to believe there is a light at the end of the tunnel can make even our most difficult days bearable and filled with growth. Before they can soar, our spirits must take the small steps so necessary for change. The glimpses of hope we occasionally see are those small steps.

Today give me hope. Let me feel all my feelings in each small step I take.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

~ Step Three ~

A prayer is a humble and heartfelt communication with a power greater than yourself. A prayer can admit a weak-ness, communicate a need, or convey praise and gratitude. Prayers can unburden your heart, give you strength and courage, and deepen your faith and trust in a Higher Power. Use the following prayer as you work on your understanding and acceptance of Step Three.

Step Three Prayer

Higher Power, for so long you have been unknown to me. I have kept myself separate from you. Now I understand that I have never been alone. Even in times of great trouble and darkness, you have always been with me. Today I accept that thy will—and not my will—will guide me. I trust that you will provide me with direction, illuminate my path, and lessen my burdens so that I may do your will.

With a bowed head and an open heart, I ask that you show me how to live. I ask that you free me from the bondage of my past. I ask that you provide me with guidance in all of my actions. Higher Power, I accept you. I trust in you. I turn over my life to you.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

There are no rules of architecture for a castle in the clouds.

~ Gilbert Keith Chesterton ~

When we were children and were asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” our answers were usually delivered quickly. There was no reason for us to believe our dreams couldn’t come true, for we hadn’t yet learned fear, doubt, and insecurity.

As we grew older, we began to lose our dreams. We either became overly practical or highly irresponsible. Our fantasies were unable to fly because they were weighted down by doubts. We became negative and cynical. How could we possibly dream of castles in the clouds? Our highly practical side said clouds couldn’t hold castles; our irresponsible nature said someone else would have to build them.

We are learning many things are possible now, if we will only believe. We are learning to live without constant fear, insecurity, or hopelessness. We are slowly building health and happiness. Right now, we are also building the foundations to our castles in the clouds. Through time and belief in ourselves, we will be able to build anything we want.

I can be whoever I want to be; dream whatever I want to dream.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Becoming vulnerable

When we choose not to escape through that first drink, fix, or pill, we are refusing to choose death. We are trusting that life can be interesting, life can be worthwhile, life can be more than it ever was before. Had we no hope of this, we never would have stopped using.

In one way we have been losers. To finally give life an honest try is to become vulnerable. (Is there really a Higher Power who looks out for me?)

And while we know the program works, we aren’t sure if we are willing to risk working it. But it is only through taking this risk, and becoming vulnerable, that our life will ever “open up.”

Do I dare become vulnerable?

Higher Power, grant me the courage to give life an honest try.

I will risk being vulnerable today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

God is a circle whose circumference is nowhere and whose center is everywhere.

~ NICOLAUS CUSANUS ~

Newcomer

How can I believe that a Power greater than myself can restore me to sanity? I used to pray a lot, but it didn’t work. Look what happened to me!

Sponsor

Yes, it’s an excellent idea to look at what did happen to us. There was a progression of events, inner or outer, that led to greater and greater discomfort. At last, living in active addiction became intolerable. Something within us wanted to surrender—and now, however long it took us, we are in recovery. Something in us must have wanted to choose life, not death.

In recovery, we can embrace and nurture the part of ourselves that is aligned with Spirit. The sanity we’re rediscovering in ourselves includes acceptance of our human limitations, letting go of results we can’t control. We can let go of praying for things to happen exactly as we want, on our timetable. We can begin to be open to the miracles all around us.

My life was given to me as a gift, and now I’ve been given that gift all over again. I have a choice of what to do with it. Should I blame my Higher Power for the fact that it took me so long to get here? Or should I greet the Spirit within me and say, “Welcome! I’ve been waiting. I’m glad you finally came home.”

Whatever happens today offers me opportunities to deepen my relationship with my soul.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

The door of living that opened upon our advent into AA is also able to close upon those years of daily dying that are behind us. That door opened into a long hall that stretched out to a vanishing point; our eye cold not perceive its end. We should not be content to just pass through this portal and close the door upon our past, but we should move on, for our happiness is up that hall, and we must constantly advance to attain our happy goal.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) If you make yourself available, you’ll get what you need when you need it.

2) When you’re grateful for what you have, you don’t need much.

3) GOD: Group Of Drunks.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

No Other

I have no other helper than You,
no other father,
no other redeemer,
no other support.
I pray to You.
Only You can help me.
My present misery is too great.
Despair grips me, and I am at my wits’ end.
I am sunk in the depths, and I cannot pull myself up or out.
If it is Your will, help me out of this misery.
Let me know that You are stronger than all misery and all enemies.
O Lord, if I come through this, please let the experience contribute to my and my brothers’ blessings.
You will not forsake me; this I know.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

HOLY COWS!

Most people have certain sections of their lives where, for various reasons (mostly unknown to themselves), they do not with to make any change. These places are set aside and surrounded with an aura of spurious sanctity like the sacred cows of the East, which are considered too holy to be touched. But if you really mean business about regenerating your soul and body, there must positively be no sacred cows in your life.

Nothing is truly sacred but your own indwelling Christ and the process of His awakening.

Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light (Ephesians 5:15).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Prototype, Not Exception

Let not the world see fear and sad distrust govern the motion of a kingly eye.

~ William Shakespeare ~

On my birthday, I made up my mind to have a wonderful day. I made plans to be with friends, scheduled a massage, and put worldly matters aside. Then an emergency repair forced me to curtail some of my celebration appointments. As I stood in the rain with the repairman, my mind began to grumble. Then I decided, “No, I will not allow this to ruin my day,” and I kept my attitude high. The repair was handled, and I went on with my celebration. At the end of the day, I felt wonderful, and the interruption actually added to my joy, for I gained strength in choosing peace. I remember the love, not the disappointment.

The next morning, I began to feel sad that my day of joy had passed. Then I realized that I have the power to make every day a celebration. Why would a birthday, weekend, or vacation be an exception to life? Happiness is the way of life, and any other kind of day is the exception.

During World War I, the French and German armies held a cease-fire on Christmas. Soldiers from both armies went into local towns, ate dinner, drank wine, and sang together in the same taverns. The next day, they went back to killing each other. It seems to me that if they could agree to not fight for one day, they could agree to not fight for another, and another, and another, and sooner or later they would not fight at all.

Some theologians teach that Jesus was an exception to life—that he was God’s only begotten son. But Jesus was not an only child. He had many brothers and sisters, including you and me. We, too, are the sons and daughters of God, holy offspring of a perfect divinity. Jesus was our elder brother who found his way home and showed us the path. He is not a deity to be worshiped, but a model to be emulated and equaled. He said, “Even greater things than I shall you do.” He would not have uttered those words if we were lesser or different than he.

The love and the good and the beauty is the truth; anything else is the exception.

Help me to live my potential of love every day.

I am a child of God. I deserve to live in celebration.

[bluidkiti]

March 2

Step by Step

Today, I will remember gratitude if I take undue credit for the sobriety I have found through AA. While it is justified to take pride in being sober the last 24 Hours, that pride must be within the boundaries of the program and cannot be stretched to egoism or seeking praise from others. For when pride extends beyond the boundaries to egoism, I risk taking back the surrender to the power that carried me when I passed out or stumbled in my drinking days and even in some difficult sober days. Yes, I was the one who grabbed the lifeline of AA, but someone or something else had to toss it to me first. Gratitude. And our common journey continues. Step by Step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

GRATITUDE

We have no right to ask, when sorrow comes, “why did this happen to me?” unless we ask the same question for every joy that comes our way.

~ Philip S. Bernstein ~

Self-pity used to overwhelm us. We bitterly asked why fate had burdened us with the obsession that brought us to a 12 Step Group. Now that recovery fills our lives, we are grateful for the good fortune that we have been shown a way out.

Gratitude brings humility for our progress and compassion for all those who still suffer. We are not only grateful for what we have received. We are grateful for the opportunity to give. We want to always do more than feel grateful. We need to express that gratitude.

My reply to every complaint I have is “compared to what?” No matter how badly I think I hurt today, every day with my old problems was worse.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

I visualize the course nine or ten times every night as I’m going to sleep. By race day, I’ve run the course a hundred times in my head.

~ A. J. Kitt, Olympic skier ~

A world-class athlete reaches the pinnacle of performance by intense work and dedication. No one doubts his priorities. He practices for hours every day, endures the pain of pushing his body to the limit, and develops his mind psychologically to be ready to respond in a split second. We can use that same model for our healing recovery program. We need to put our recovery above all else—because without that, we have nothing. We need to accept the pain that comes with facing ourselves and our truth, because on the other side of the pain is peace of mind. And we can develop our self- image as recovering men in the care of our Higher Power, succeeding as we meet the challenges of our days.

A very helpful daily practice is to visualize ourselves in a quiet place, feeling well, content, and safe. Staying with this image for fifteen minutes or so, just enjoying its peace, creates a sense of strength and serenity for the next few hours or for the rest of the day.

Today I know my first priority is recovery and I can picture myself feeling content in a quiet setting.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

As I recover, I am learning to detach with love and mind my own business with dignity.

~ Kathy Kendall ~

Very few situations actually need our input. On most occasions we can contribute most by observing or listening. Although controlling how others live and think may still appeal to us, we are learning from our friends and sponsors the wisdom of detachment and the necessity for boundaries between ourselves and others.

Our desire to “help” friends make decisions may be rooted in love: we don’t want to see our friends get hurt by making wrong choices. But the wisdom of the program tells us that we hurt our friends more by doing for them what they need to do for themselves. While this may be hard to believe at first, we can learn to trust that it is true.

It is enough to live our own lives thoughtfully. We have been given a second chance through getting clean and sober. Now it’s time to give our lives all of our attention. Let’s free other people to do the same.

I have enough to do just to live my life today. I can show my love for others best if I let them live their lives too.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I wonder about quitting my medication

I write squiggly because my hand shakes. I feel edgy most of the time. Even my digestion is out of sync. I don’t feel like keeping up with my medication schedule with these side effects.

On the other hand I know I need the medication. I felt horrible, helpless, and hopeless before it started working. If I stop taking it now, I might get seriously ill again. I want to stay stable. I want to keep working my recovery program. I just may have to cope with these secondary problems for now.

I will call my psychiatrist to report any problems with my medication and ask for reassurance and support.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Tolerance and celebration of individual differences is the fire that fuels lasting love.

~ Tom Hannah ~

Love is a healer of hearts and a forgiver of pasts. Love waits until we are ready to share and never threatens to leave if we aren’t “good enough.” Love encourages our growth, wanting us to be all we have in us to be. Love is a resting place and safe haven at the end of a stormy day.

Love protects solitude, and in solitude we find God. Love doesn’t demand time, words, or promises, but is delighted at being together and sharing space. Love is kind in all things, especially in honesty. Love freely speaks its mind, not to hurt and control, but to share, inform, and connect.

We can live today by giving this kind of love to each person we encounter. Our reward for this giving is the growth of our own honesty, kindness, and willingness to forgive. And the love we give may return to us.

Today let me trust that love comes to those who act lovingly.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Dawn is a shimmering of the horizon.
Dusk is a settling of the sky.

~ Tao ~

Sunrise and sunset represent the measure of a day. When the sun rises and daylight comes, the moon sets; when the sun sets and darkness comes, the moon rises. Without such alteration, a day would not have a beginning nor an end.

So too are there cycles in your life: endings as well as beginnings. You may view the loss of a loved one as an ending. But you can also consider that your life after such a loss can be a beginning. Similarly, you may view the loss of your habit as an ending. But you can also consider that your life without the habit can be a beginning.

One way to ease the pain of loss is to write about it. Putting your feelings into words may make it easier to let go and transition into a new frame of mind or new way of doing things. You can compose a letter to a past habit you have let go, a departed loved one, or anything you have lost. Write those things you always wanted to say, but did not. Write about regret over conflicts left unresolved. Let your words flow freely.

Even though I may grieve today over a loss, expressing my feelings will help me work through this grief.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

For the whole law is fulfilled in one word, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

~ Galations 5:14 ~

Happy and harmonious relationships are essential. If we treat people with uncaring concern and indifference, they will think there are no paths to our hearts. If we meet people with the expectation that they will do more for us than we will do for them, they will turn away from us.

How did we treat people today? Were we short with co-workers or customers; impatient with students, patients, or children; unloving toward friends or relatives? Were we so wrapped up in ourselves that we weren’t aware when people around us needed a bit of attention?

We can repair the roads to our hearts so the paths are straight and true. We can rebuild relationships with those around us. If we can help others feel safe, comfortable, and at ease in our presence, we will encourage positive feelings. Then people will feel safe and will turn to us in friendliness and in safety.

What are the messages on the road to my heart? Help me firm the road’s foundation with love, peace, and safety.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Trusting my Higher Power

We know that other people, jobs, and new places could not relieve us of our addiction. Then where does our hope lie?

The God of our understanding can give us freedom from addiction if only we will admit our problems and accept help.

Am I trusting my Higher Power?

Higher Power, let nothing from the past stop me from trusting you.

I will deepen my trust in God today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Anyone can get sober….
The trick is to stay and to live sober.

~ LIVING SOBER ~

Newcomer

At one meeting someone mentioned having had a slip. He had been back in recovery for three days. No one criticized him; in fact, everyone applauded. To be honest, it makes me think about seeing what it would be like to have a few drinks or a drug again, just for a day or a weekend.

Sponsor

Over the years, I’ve watched people come and go in recovery. I’ve been grateful to the people who relapsed and were lucky enough to come back and share their experience. They taught me a lot by talking about how their disease had continued progressing even when they weren’t active in it, and about how much more quickly their misery had returned this time. I’m grateful to them for having had the slip for me; now I don’t have to risk it. There’s a danger in going back out to experiment with controlled using; few who leave ever make it back. This is a life-threatening disease. People like us, who depend on using an addictive substance, can die from it. We understand the seriousness of our addictions and have no need to test recovery by trying to use “safely.”

Today, I want life—all of it. I embrace my recovery; I stick close to those who know how to stay stopped.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Life is too short even if we live the whole of it to its fullest, but we alcoholics have wasted so many years of our lives that we must now double our efforts if we hope to do any living at all. Truly, for us, it is later than we think.

There is one consolation, however, and that is, that it is possible to use a single moment to produce an eternity of benefits for humanity. Much time has been frittered away but there is still ample time to do good.

Life is not measured by its length but by its width and its depth.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Nobody ‘gives’ you a bad day without your permission.

2) Depression: when you’re taking more than you’re giving.

3) If you can’t make a list of all you are grateful you have, make a list of all you are grateful you don’t have.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

All That We Ought

All that we ought to have thought and have not thought,
All that we ought to have said and have not said,
All that we ought to have done and have not done;
All that we ought not to have thought and yet have thought,
All that we ought not to have spoken and yet have spoken,
All that we ought not to have done and yet have done;
For thoughts, words, and works, pray we, O God,
for forgiveness,
And repent with penance.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

CONFUSION OF DUTIES

It cannot be your duty to do anything that is beyond your reach or your strength at the moment.

It cannot be your duty to do anything that sacrifices your own integrity of your own spiritual development.

It cannot be right to be hurried, or sad, or discouraged, or angry, or resentful, or antagonistic, under any circumstances.

If you have no time for prayer and meditation, you will have lots of time for sickness and trouble.

Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandment: for this is the whole duty of man (Ecclesiastes 12:13).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Take the Best and Leave the Rest

Love is the way I walk ingratitude.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

My dog Munchie is quite discerning. He eats only what he likes and rejects everything else. If I offer Munchie a piece of plain bread, he walks away from it. If I give him a slice with peanut butter on it, however, he licks off the peanut butter and leaves the bread.

Take what belongs to you by right of your joy and consciousness, and let the rest go. We are not required to put up with situations we cannot digest. We are required to do what expands and heals us and reject what causes us to contract.

The awakened mind functions as a “blessing extractor.” Like a vegetable juicer that grinds up a carrot and spits the pulp out of one chute and sends juice out of another, the blessing extractor takes any experience and draws forth the good from it. It shows you how you can enjoy, learn, or grow from all events and relationships. All else is chaff, which goes back into the field to grow next year’s crops.

When looking back on past relationships, we must take the best and leave the rest. Bless the other person, yourself, and the relationship for the gifts you gained and the experience through which you grew. Hold on to your appreciation, and release the regret. It does not belong to you. Recycled properly, the relationship will become fertilizer to grow on.

Similarly, every teacher will offer you wisdom you can use, as well as ideas you do not understand, agree with, or wish to employ. Take the best and leave the rest. There is a nugget of good in every experience. Receive what God wants you to have, and let Spirit take care of the rest.

Show me what is mine, and give me the wisdom and strength to put aside all else.

I open myself to be fed by love in the forms that speak to my heart, and I release everything that does not belong to me.

[bluidkiti]

March 3

Step by Step

Today, understand that taking care of myself does not have to mean I am selfish and not placing everyone and everything after me. If I am Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired – HALT– my Program requires that I bolster myself so that I have something to share as an effective and meaningful 12th-stepper. We as alcoholics are predictable only in unpredictability and extremities – all or nothing with little or no middle ground. Tending first to our physical, emotional and spiritual health is the middle ground between active alcoholism and being in service to others, and we have little to pass on if we have neglected ourselves. The eventual outcome, if not a relapse, will be an alcoholic who is little more than a dry drunk – or a dead drunk. Today, if I feel the physical, emotional and spiritual need to seek and meditate with my higher power, let me not feel guilty or selfish because, in the end, I have nothing to offer to others if I have nothing to offer myself. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SELF-ESTEEM

We can help one another find out the meaning of life. But in the last analysis, each is responsible for finding himself.

~ Thomas Merton ~

“Because of my changed attitude, I am today he best me I’ve ever been.” The ability to say those words at any moment is one of the many rewarding experiences of recovery. Those words are not boastful. They describe a newly found self-esteem.

Those words go beyond satisfaction for our ability to correct character defects and make amends. They are more than an appreciation of character growth. They are a daily personal challenge to make every tomorrow a day on which we can repeat the words, “I am the best me ever.”

Whatever progress I make will not come to me as a gift. I need to work for every inch of growth. Others can show me the way to be the “best me ever,” but I have to do the work.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished.

~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe ~

Everybody knows about the adjustment required by two people when they decide to become life partners. Part of that adjustment is moving from feelings of pleasure and excitement to managing the more practical aspects of daily life. In that interdependent life, we have to carry our share of the work. Sometimes we may feel let down; sometimes our partner will feel let down by us. We have to deal with differing sexual appetites and learn how to respect the differences while maintaining the connection.

The practical is never as heavenly as the ideal. When we enter the realm of the partnership, while we may struggle and feel confused or frustrated at times, we come to know each other more deeply—and we become more vulnerable. Our first task is to be sure that our partner, while vulnerable in deep and real ways, is in good hands with us. That means we don’t willingly hurt our partner and we don’t use abusive or threatening words. At the same time, we expect our own vulnerability and trust will be handled with care by our partner. When these ground rules are in place and followed, our intimacy continues to deepen through the practical details of our lives.

Today I accept the real world of daily life in my love life.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Time and again I have searched for you, not knowing that it was me I needed to find.

~ Betty MacDonald ~

We may have spent many years looking for the partner who would complete our lives. We were certain that happiness was guaranteed when the search culminated in the perfect selection. How tragic it seems when we discover that happiness still eludes us. The search, coupled with the belief that someone else is our ticket to happiness, has lead us down many dark alleys.

We are learning now that finding our true self oilers us the wholeness we thought would come from our attachment to another person. The Steps will guide our self-discovery. Through the Steps, the meetings we attend, and the friends we make, we’ll find our real self. Knowing her fully, accepting her completely, will fill the void we thought only another person could fill.

I will pay attention to who I am today. I will honor the whole of me. I know genuine happiness can be found only in this way.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I feel good when I share at meetings

Even though I can’t always put into words just what I have in mind, I am now sharing at my meetings and my fellow members are listening to me. I realize how good it feels to say what I’m feeling and be known.

I have been shy and reserved much of my life, but in treatment eventually I got used to seeing a circle of people look at me. And it got easier to think on my feet. Now at my regular Step meeting, I like it when they pay attention to me. I feel like a part of the group. I feel especially good when someone thanks me for sharing.

I will write down two other ways I can become a stronger part of my recovery group.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Yesterday is a cancelled check; tomorrow is a promissory note; today is the only cash you have — so spend it wisely.

~ Kay Lyons ~

An elderly man said, “I just realized I’ve spent my life thinking ‘I’ll be happy when so-and-so happens.’ But so-and-so never happens, or if it does, I find something new to wait for. Now I realize I’ve never been happy.”

Think of all the todays he let slip by waiting for tomorrow. Other times, we may lose today in dwelling on yesterday. We worry, fret, and fume, thinking of how we could have done things better. We don’t know the first thing about tomorrow.

We need to find a reason to smile today. A reason to be grateful for being here today. Today we won’t drink, today we are sober, today we can do or say one small thing that will make us happy.

With the gift of sobriety, today will bring us what we need to be fully alive. Yesterday is gone; tomorrow is but a dream. Only today is truly ours for the taking.

Today help me make the most of this day. Guide me as I work the Steps and feed my recovery.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Failure after long perseverance is much grander than never to have a striving good enough to be called a failure.

~ George Eliot ~

When Thomas Edison and his assistants finished their long labors over an improved prototype of the first electric light bulb, Edison gave the bulb to a young helper. But the nervous boy dropped the fragile bulb. Again, Edison and his assistants produced a prototype. Edison once more handed it to the boy. This time, he carried it safely to another room. In that simple gesture, Edison changed the boy’s feelings of self-worth from failure and incompetence to success and self-confidence. How often do you pay attention to your accomplishments? More often than not you pay them little heed. Instead, you focus on past difficulties, false starts, and failures.

Samuel Beckett once said, “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” When you learn to pay scant attention to your failures, it means you have ceased to fear them.

Starting today, accept that mistakes and failures are in-evitable. But they are also valuable teachers that provide lessons to help you change. By learning from your mistakes, you are more capable of moving forward.

I can rise each time I fall and learn something in the process. I will focus on my achievements and successes rather than failures so I can become more confident.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Here is a mental treatment guaranteed to cure every ill that flesh is heir to: sit for half an hour every night and mentally forgive everyone against whom you have any ill will or antipathy.

~ Charles Fillmore ~

What is forgiveness? In a way, it’s the ability to let go of negative feelings toward ourselves or others and replace them with good, positive feelings. Are we forgiving to others?

In retrospect, we may discover ill will toward people with whom we had contact today. Perhaps some driver cut us off in traffic and we shouted in anger. Or maybe we snapped at friends, co-workers, or family members. Maybe we nagged at someone whose behavior bothered us. Maybe we carried some resentful feelings toward someone in our past.

Tomorrow, and maybe for several days, we can take time to forgive people for their negative behaviors. After we’ve done that, we can forgive ourselves for our reactions towards others. Letting go and forgiving is the best way to cleanse ourselves, leaving more room for positive feelings.

Who do I need to forgive? Right now, I can let go of my negative feelings and replace them with good feelings.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Experiencing growth

It is not easy to stay clean and sober. It takes all the strength we have. We may suffer men-tally or physically, but now we can learn from our experiences. In our using days, we could suffer the same experience many times and not learn a thing.

Now we are facing life for the first time, and we have the chance to grow through our experiences. If we take that first pill, fix, or drink, we halt our chances of growing.

Am I growing from each new experience?

I pray for the strength to endure and for the ability to grow through each life experience without that first fix, pill, or drink.

I will strengthen my abstinence today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

My way is to begin with, the beginning

~ GEORGE GORDON, LORD BYRON ~

Newcomer

Things have been going badly for me ever since I got up. This has been one of my worst days in recovery.

Sponsor

Recovery shows us that we’re free to start the day over any time we like, morning, noon, or night. Sometimes I say to myself, “I’ve gotten through the past twenty-four hours without acting on my addiction. This moment I’m beginning a new twenty-four-hour period. I’m starting my day right now.”

Then, no matter where I happen to be, I take a few minutes to do some of the things that usually help me. I pray for the willingness to do whatever is necessary to stay in recovery. If possible, I read a page of program literature or make a phone call, and plan to attend a meeting as soon as there’s one I can get to. I take several slow, deep breaths. I treat myself with gentleness.

Whatever we’re able to do today is enough. If we haven’t picked up our addictions, we’ve participated in a miracle.

With the help of my Higher Power, I’m getting through whatever this day brings.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

In AA no man is the official mouthpiece of the Movement. No one person represents AA officially. Here you find a God of your own understanding; when you talk you give only your own opinions, you give your own interpretation of the Twelve Steps and practice them as you think they should be practiced.

If you use your method and stay sober, we will admit your way is good for you but we admit no authority on your part to tell us how to work them. Because it worked for you is no sign it might not be poison for someone else.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) The more you have, the more you want.

2) If you review your problem closely enough, you will recognize yourself as part of the problem.

3) Worry is a prayer for something you don’t want.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Love

Higher Power, remind me that:
Love is patient;
Love is kind.
Love is not jealous; it does not put on airs; it is not snobbish.
Love is never rude; it is not self-seeking; it is not prone to anger; neither does it brood over injuries.
Love does not rejoice in what is wrong, but rejoices with the truth.
There is no limit to love’s forbearance, its truth, its hope, its power to endure.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

YOU SET THE CLOCK

There is nothing in the universe that you cannot do or be if you are mentally ready. People speak of golden opportunities but what we call opportunity is really our own mental readiness. Napoleon said, “Opportunities? I make opportunities”; and while this would be merely a vainglorious boast for one who is not on the spiritual basis, yet when you do understand the Truth of Being, it is simply a statement of fact. The Romans could have had the telephone; the Greeks could have had the cinemas; the Babylonians could have had the automobile—had they been mentally ready. The laws of nature were the same in those ages as in ours, the same materials were in the ground—so they had to go without them.

Supply the necessary mental condition, and the demand, the opportunity, or the occasion, will present itself automatically.

Whenever you are ready you will find that everything else is ready too.

Take ye heed, watch and pray; for ye know not when the time is (Mark 13:33).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Beyond the Dark Night

Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.

~ Psalm 23 ~

At some point, everyone passes through a dark night of the soul. This is a difficult time in which we are moving from an old life to a new one, with no apparent security or help in sight. It appears that the old is being taken away by a hand larger than our own, and there is no solid ground on which to stand. As old friends or supporters fall away, we feel like misfits in a world that does not understand us. The activities and things that once gave us comfort seem empty or unavailable, and sometimes it appears that all is lost. At such a time, we are called upon to search deep within ourselves for faith.

Although the dark night is painful and harrowing, it is an important and productive time. If you are passing through a dark night, take comfort in the truth that there is a bigger picture than the one you are seeing, a larger hand operating behind appearances. The dark is a time to clear away the old to make way for the new and better. Nothing is taken away that is not replaced with something more valuable. The field is being turned over so that old weeds and dead roots can be dissolved and new seeds sown. Spring is not far behind the winter.

When I have gone through such experiences, this message has come to me loud and clear: Surrender to love. Do not try to fight the changes, and do not try to understand them. In your anxiety, do not attempt to clutch at the old for security; instead, do your best to release what was, and be open to what is to come. Define all the changes as good, and look for their blessings. The day will come when you will look back at such a time and say, “Thank you.”

Hold my hand, God, during a time of shadows.
Though I see You not, I trust that You are present.

All change is good. I surrender to love.

[bluidkiti]

March 4

Step by Step

Today, extend a kindness to someone and watch out for expecting something in return, even a simple thank you. Ask if we are selfless if we expect something in return. At a meeting, am I overtly or unconsciously seeking approval or congratulations if I say how many 24 Hours of sobriety I have if it has no relevance to the discussion? Might I have a motive? If I volunteer to drive someone unemployed and whose jobless benefits have run out to a meeting, how service-oriented – what kind of 12-stepper – am I if I suggest a couple of bucks for gas? And if the occasion comes up that I receive a token for however many 24 Hours I have, do I want it presented to me standing behind the speaker’s podium, or do I prefer a private exchange with my sponsor? If I am honest enough to identify anything but a fully altruistic reason for my “service,” something is clearly wrong, maybe not enough to endanger my sobriety but certainly enough to crimp its quality. Today, if I get the opportunity to be of service to someone or if someone needs a simple kindness and if I feel a twinge of indignation or anger if I get nothing in return, may I be indignant at myself for my selfishness – and get to work on it. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

FACING PROBLEMS

If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere.

~ Anonymous ~

We are constantly aware that problems aren’t burdens suffered by us alone. Since the beginning of time, all mankind has had to cope with problems. We need to remember to identify with others and their problems and not compare our problems to theirs to see who has the greater troubles. This will also eliminate self-pity during crises.

By accepting these difficulties, we can begin at once to seek advice from friends who have solved similar problems. By walking through problems without complaint instead of timidly trying to sneak around them, we will grow spiritually.

Problems won’t get rid of my character defects; problems expose them. By facing difficulties through the Program, I will grow spiritually.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Great opportunities to help others seldom come, but small ones surround us every day.

~ Sally Koch ~

From its earliest days, the Twelve Step program began with the Twelfth Step. When the first recovering man in Ohio was tentatively making his way into sobriety, day by day, he quickly realized that his progress depended upon telling his story to other suffering alcoholics. He realized that by helping others, he was helping himself stay sober.

A fundamental rule of good mental health is to be helpful to others. We can do that by telling our story: where we were and how far we have come. But helpful-ness is an attitude. We can cultivate this attitude, looking for ways to be helpful while not taking on a caretaking role. Generosity of spirit in all our dealings with others, without looking for anything in return, creates a feeling of connection with others. Helping others can also dispel depression and self-pity.

Today I will look for ways to be helpful and generous to others.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I pray that my recovery be filled with dynamite and feathers. I pray that my recovery be filled with quiet laughter.

~ Jill Clark ~

Some lessons in life are painful. We may wish they’d all be easy and gentle, but if they were, we might not understand their value. Occasionally our Higher Power has to get our attention; we feel the pinch when that’s the case.

We deserve variety in our experiences. Our emotions are created to serve us, to teach us how to get the most from the events and the people in our lives. The invitation to respond with a less familiar emotion is a gift. It’s how we discover the many parts of ourselves. Until we know all of ourselves, we can’t really love any part of ourselves.

Praying for help to understand our experiences, praying for the willingness to appreciate the dynamite and feathers, will give us the helping hand we need.

I will experience the calm times and the storms. From both I’ll discover my purpose.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I don’t have to be alone with the pain

These days, I’m not sleeping well and I’m tired most of the time. I’m OK at work for a while, but then I can’t stop the memories and I can’t concentrate. At times I feel disconnected from the world. Some days I have to leave work and go home, where I feel guilty and alone with my illnesses. It’s hard not to think about using.

But it may not have to get so bad (and it doesn’t have to get any worse). When I manage to pause for a moment and take a deep breath, I realize I can call my sponsor and support person, my first lines of help. I can call them at work or at home. When I talk, they listen closely (even when I cry). I am grateful for their support. They care about me. I trust them – and need to let them help me more.

I will put together a list of my supportive friends and their telephone numbers.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

When we neglect caring for our body, we limit our life.

~ Maurice Hillary ~

The best gift we can give our mind and spirit is to nurture and care for our body. When our body is in healthy harmony, we are able to focus on our deeper needs and gifts. An uncared-for, out-of-tune body can demand all our attention and energy and leave little zest for the rest of living.

Sometimes we take our body for granted, expecting it to keep working well no matter how we feed it or how little fresh air, sleep, and exercise we give it. Sooner or later, that kind of neglect leads to limiting physical problems that can limit our spiritual, mental, and emotional lives.

It’s part of our sober work to learn how to love and care for our bodies so we can develop a daily physical maintenance program that will take us into the healthy years ahead.

Giving our body the respect it deserves will keep it friendly and on our side for life.

Today let me honestly assess my total physical condition and make plans to lovingly care for the temple that is my body.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

There is perhaps no more effective way to relieve psychic pain than to be in constant contact with another human being who understands what you are going through and can communicate such understanding to you.

~ Frederic Flach ~

One of the greatest benefits in recovery is the support of others. Without this support there would be no circle of fellowship.

This inclusive fellowship touches everyone, and you are an integral part. Just as there will be times when you need comfort, support, and someone to talk to, there will also be times when someone needs your comfort, support, and a listening ear.

How can you offer support? Listen to the challenges others say they are facing. Draw from your experience to let them know they are not alone. Recognize the strengths others cannot see in themselves by pointing out and vali-dating their progress. Offer a lighthearted outlook and as-sure others that ups and downs are a part of the recovery process. Set aside any desire to pass judgment about the actions of others. Refrain from giving advice, even when you feel you know the answers. Serve as a resource of positive energy. And offer guidance based upon the Twelve Steps and the lessons you have learned in your recovery.

Today I remember that recovery is a fellowship of supportive people.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Walk with the wise and be wise; mix with the stupid and be misled.

~ Proverbs ~

We may not believe we are wise. We may ask, “How could I be wise if I got myself into so much trouble and pain? How can I be wise if I now need the help of others to stay out of trouble and feel less pain?”

But what is wisdom? Very simply, it is good sense. It is the ability to make a choice that will be good for us. No one is born with wisdom. It is learned through trial and error. Just a glance into our past will assure us we have certainly had our share of trials and errors.

We have made a wise decision by joining the pro-gram. Because of this decision, our lives have become more manageable and less insane. We have learned of an all-wise Power greater than ourselves. We have be-come willing to turn our lives and our wills over to this Power.

We have become wise, for those who walk with this Power are wise.

Have I made wise decisions today? How can I use the program to gain greater wisdom?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Reaching a balance with sex

Sex has always been a problem for us in one way or another. Some of us had too much, some too little; some were immoral and some prudish about the whole thing. As with other areas of our lives, we need to be realistic about sex and learn to reach a balance with ourselves.

Taking “chastity vows” and “letting it all hang out” are both a little extreme. We find that the balance must be ours—not an institution’s or another’s views.

Have I found my balance with sex?

Lord, help me see that my attitude toward sex is between my Higher Power and me and not based on the views of others.

Today I will seek a better balance with sex by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

I’ve been inside institutions, my family….

~ SUSAN GRIFFIN ~

Newcomer

There are some people at meetings who start their sharing by saying, “Hello, Family.” It sounds phony to me—do they really mean it? I don’t think I’ll ever really be a part of this community. It certainly doesn’t feel like a family to me.

Sponsor

I can understand your shying away from the word “family.” Our first addictive responses may have occurred when we were living with our family of origin. Some of us are angry at the kind of nurturing we received. Some of us wish we could help family members who need recovery; we feel disturbed at our inability to make that happen. Resentment, fear, shame, powerlessness, and a host of other feelings may surface in connection with our families.

We may not yet be willing to call others in recovery our “family.” We’re not required to. But we do need each other’s stories, service, and recovery. In time, our mistrust lessens, if we keep showing up and working the program. We may even begin to sense that we are members of a community.

Today, I depend on a group of people in recovery to keep coming back and sharing. I depend on myself, too, to participate in this process with others.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

We have finally found a way to foil alcohol simply be refusing to look upon it as a beverage and rather as something to which we are allergic. We have found that we don’t have to drink; we have demonstrated that we can be happier without it.

Now that we are sober, how are we going to use our sobriety?

Can we sit back and bask in this newfound sunshine? Forget it, kid. Better men than you have tried it. If still you don’t believe it, go back to the gutter or the jail or the jitter-joint and ask those who tried that method.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) GOD: Giver Of Desires

2) Pain heals; abuse scars.

3) Depression is anger turned inward.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Help Me Remember

Lord,
Help me remember that nothing is going to happe to me today that You and I together can’t handle

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

SPOTLIGHTS

To recognize failure intelligently is the first step toward building success.

Recognize success with thanksgiving, and build more success on that.

You can have anything in life that you really want, but you must be prepared to take the responsibilities that go with it.

God is ready the moment you are.

You really do not know John Smith; you only know the idea that you form of John Smith.

One God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all (Ephesians 4:6).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

From Where?

No one reaches love with fear beside him.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

Carla sat down with Brian, her newly hired business manager, and formulated a priority list of jobs that needed to be done. After the list was recorded, Brian handed the paper back to Carla and asked her to make one more distinction among the listed tasks: “Write an ‘F next to those jobs that you think need to be done immediately because you are in fear, and place a ‘J’ next to those jobs that proceed from joy and creativity.”

Fear is never a good reason to do anything. Any action born of fear cannot succeed, except as a lesson that fear does not work. Enthusiasm, delight, and service, on the other hand, are excellent motivations for endeavors, and they will attract tremendous support because you are investing in aliveness rather than self-protection.

We always get more of whatever energy we put out into the universe; our actions are less important than the beliefs and feelings that motivate them. At a world peace conference, an African priest told me, “In my hotel room I saw a big sign warning, ‘Be sure to keep your suitcase locked. Protect yourself from thieves.’ As I began to lock my suitcase, something did not feel right. I was not afraid of theft before I saw that sign, so why should I go into anxiety after reading it? It occurred to me that the problem of nuclear weapons stems from people protecting themselves before the bad guys get to them. I felt hypocritical being a speaker at a peace conference and buying into paranoia. I would have been contributing to the very energy I am trying to offset.”

While you must consult your own intuition about what you lock, the priest illuminated an important principle: When we act out of fear, we add to the sum total of darkness on the planet, and when we act from love, we bring light to the world.

I pray to stay on purpose. I am here to love.

I release fear and embrace trust.

[bluidkiti]

March 5

Step by Step

Today, if at a meeting or in a conversation with an AA member I hear his experiences on Skid Row, let me not make the smug and sanctimonious comparison that, “I was NEVER that bad.” If the other guy’s bed where he passed out or detoxed was a plastic bag on the ground under the bridge where the homeless and down-and-outers congregate but my bed was in my house; if his basin to vomit was the river running alongside the bank of the ground under the bridge of the homeless and down-and-outers but my basin was the pristine sink in my bathroom; if he landed in the county jail’s drunk tank but I never did; if he was in the hospital psyche room for the uninsured next to my room that was a little nicer because I had insurance; if his drinking cost him his family and home but I have a house even though it, too, is empty of anyone but me; if his last drink was two days ago and mine two years ago but both of us have not drank in this, the current 24 Hours; how, then, do I con myself into thinking, “I was NEVER that bad?” The other guy may have been on Skid Row, but I built my Skid Row in my own house. Today, I will not climb a moral pedestal with the lie that I NEVER got as bad as someone else – because I did. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

NEEDING PEOPLE

I was never less alone than when by myself.

~ Edward Gibbon ~

In order to continue to grow spiritually, we will, happily, always be among the lucky people who need people. For the rest of our lives, we will give to friends and receive from them. We will make progress together. But each must welcome the reality that he or she needs, at times, to be alone with only personal thoughts.

Such times fill the necessity for a prayer and meditation. We will never be at a loss for inspiration for contemplation. New friends said, “Welcome to our world.” We can well meditate on that wonderful world of gratitude, love, honesty, open-mindedness, willingness and other elements of spiritual progress.

I must be like a ship’s captain who constantly consults instruments to make sure I am properly on course. My “instruments” are other people. What they teach me is what feeds my meditations when I am alone. That way I am never alone.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

I just keep goin’ up there and swingin’ at ’em.

~ Babe Ruth ~

Even Babe Ruth had his share of strikeouts. On this recovery path, relapse is always a possibility, and we need to learn how to avoid it—and how to deal with it if it happens. What do many guys feel first when they re-lapse? Shame. This feeling may be unavoidable, but we do best if we don’t stay there long. It is not what we de-serve to feel, and it weakens us rather than strengthens us. After a relapse, the first productive thing to do is tell our recovery group and our sponsor. When we do that, we expose our addictive and codependent side. That side may want to stay hidden and secret, but our recovery requires that we shine the light of day on it.

The second thing to do is ask ourselves what we can learn from this relapse. If we can learn the lessons it has to teach us, it is no longer a deficit but an asset that strengthens our healing. Some relapses happen when we fail to take care of ourselves; we get too worn out, too depleted, too needy. Some happen because we associate with others who support our addictive impulses rather than with those who have our best interests at heart. The bottom line is that a relapse occurs because we are addicts and codependent. After a strikeout we can still go up there and swing at ’em again.

Today I know once again that lam powerless over my addiction and my codependency.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Time brings summer to a close as well as winter to an end. Time ages the brilliant petals of flowers as well as prepares new buds. . . . we can trust that time will bring the good to us as well as take away the bad.

~ Amy E. Dean ~

We can stop worrying. We can stop criticizing other people. But we can’t stop the passage of time. Let’s be grateful for that. Had it been possible to stop time, we might still be in unhealthy relationships, perhaps living on the edge of danger or in a blackout.

The passing of time not only moves us beyond the bad, but also advances us beyond the good. We hate to let it go. However, we need to move on and be open to new opportunities. Life is ebb and flow. We’ll have periods when problems seem rampant. At those times it helps to remember that this too shall pass. All will pass when the lesson has been gleaned. Let’s relish whatever this moment gives us and know that its time will soon be gone.

Time is my friend today. Each minute brings to me an experience I am ready for.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can’t use alcohol or other drugs when I take medication

I want to feel better. My symptoms are tormenting me. My doctor told me it would take a couple of weeks for my medication to work, but it’s been longer than that now and I feel like I can’t hold on. Today, I’d just as soon score some of my own drugs again. I know I’d feel better – right away – if I took them.

And yet, I also know that if I mixed street drugs with my medication, I could get very sick. I would lose my abstinence. And I would be taking back the control I gave to my higher power in Step Three.

I will pray to my higher power for the courage and strength to resist the urges and to find healthy ways to cope.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Smiling, laughing, and expecting the best is the penicillin of depression.

~ Julias Murphy ~

As the architects of our day, we can design and build a work of art. What a wonderful opportunity to be able to draw the blueprints of each day. Starting our morning with breakfast and an air of positive expectancy does wonders for our emotional outlook. Learning to look for the good and happy events in life acts like an emotional vitamin that lifts our feet and spirits. We are all wonderful works of art and we deserve to have days filled with light and good cheer. The more positive we are, the more we seem to attract positive people, places, and things into our lives. Nothing is as contagious as good cheer and a positive attitude. And nothing can defeat us when we welcome the good things in life.

Today help me decide to be happy and approach every situation with a hopeful and positive outlook.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Many of us spend our whole lives running from feeling with the mistaken belief that you cannot bear the pain. But you have already borne the pain; what you have not done is feel all you are beyond the pain.

~ Saint Bartholomew ~

Chuang Tzu told a story about a man who was so afraid of his shadow and his footsteps that he ran away from them. But the more he ran, the louder the footsteps sounded and the more swiftly his shadow followed. Falling into a panic, he ran until he dropped dead from exhaustion. What the man never came to realize is that if he had only stopped running, the things he feared would have stopped chasing him. His wild imaginings would have been put to rest.

You may believe that when you run away from your feelings, you are more capable of avoiding them or making them disappear. But the truth is the more you avoid your feelings, the greater and longer your pain will be.

Once you stop running and face your feelings, the process of release begins, bringing relief from the pain, anxiety, and fear. In letting your feelings in, you are letting them go.

Today I will express my feelings of sadness, grief, anger, and joy. I will feel them, express them, and release them.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Remember that you may have and not have. You may receive a property and not enjoy it. You may inherit wealth arid not use it. To grasp the great promises of what God can do for you … is the way to possess the possessions and realize the wealth.

~ H.C.G. Moule ~

There is so much we have that we take for granted. We seem to focus more upon material things than the wonders of what we already possess. Today we may have wished for more clothes or more money or a bigger house. We may believe more material things will make us better, more powerful, or happier.

Yet we own a wealth of things we never had to buy. We can survive with these things and become a better person. We can take more control of our life and add to our happiness. We were given these things without working overtime or taking out a second mortgage. The wealth we have within us is a gold mine of health, intelligence, and faith. Without these God-given gifts, we are poor in mind, spirit, and body. With these gifts, we truly do have more than money can buy.

Do I realize the value of my mind, health, and faith? I can give thanks for these gifts and learn to appreciate them more.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Finding happiness within

When we were taking drugs, we were looking for fulfillment and happiness. We couldn’t face the reality of life, so we tried to create a world that we could feel comfortable in. We searched for our pleasures in sources outside ourselves, in people, places, and things.

In working our spiritual program we come to realize that happiness and contentment are to be found within. Gradually we become aware of our achievements and the beginning of gratitude slowly sets in. Little by little, the peace, pleasure, and happiness within grow, and then we can reach out and say, “Hey life, here I am!”

Am I full of inner peace and happiness?

I pray I may always remember that peace and happiness come from my Higher Power and that I may be grateful for it.

Today I will express gratitude for my inner peace and happiness by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Someone else’s legs do you no good in traveling.

~ NIGERIAN PROVERB ~

Newcomer

I went over to offer help to someone at a meeting; she’d been sharing about a problem I thought I knew something about. She was chilly and asked me not to intrude. I felt pretty hurt.

Sponsor

Many of us drank or drugged in a controlled, calculated fashion. The desire to maintain the illusion of control over the uncontrollable may have come with us into recovery. We may be “people-pleasers,” overly helpful or compliant, trying to take care of others, attempting to manipulate them to like and take care of us. Eager to come to the rescue, we may have trouble minding our own business. We may want to have the answer to other people’s problems— it’s a great distraction from our own. We may be quick to offer unasked-for advice, rather than sit with the feelings that another person’s pain has awakened in us.

Today, I listen to my own and other people’s feelings. I don’t try to fix anyone, even myself.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

One day we were practicing alcoholics, then in twenty-four hours we were on the Program – arrested cases.

Was it because one day we were weak and spineless and the next day we had completely reversed our character?

No, the Power had been there all the time but we had never before tapped it. Our best-intentioned friends had advised us to use our Will Power, not realizing that it was the stubbornness of our Will Power that made us persist in our drinking.

It takes a person of great will to continuously defy the pleas and threats of our combined words. No, it wasn’t Will Power we lacked, it was Won’t Power. We Won’t take that first drink.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) If your heart is full of gratitude, there is no room for resentment.

2) To an alcoholic, if one is good, one in every color is better.

3) It’s easy to see the difference between ourselves and our inferiors, but it is much harder to see the difference between ourselves and our superiors.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

The Twelve Rewards

Spirit of the Universe,
I humbly ask for Your help so I may continue to realize the rewards of recovery:

1. Hope instead of desperation.
2. Faith instead of despair.
3. Courage instead of fear.
4. Peace of mind instead of confusion.
5. Self-respect instead of self-contempt.
6. Self-confidence instead of helplessness.
7. The respect of others instead of pity and contempt.
8. A clean conscience instead of a sense of guilt.
9. Real friendship instead of loneliness.
10. A clean pattern of life instead of a purposeless existence.
11. The love and understanding of my family instead of their doubts and fears.
12. The freedom of a happy life instead of the bondage of addiction.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

TURN WITHIN

Don’t wait about for God to act dramatically—because He probably won’t. When people expect a dramatic miracle from the outside, they are really hoping to change conditions without changing themselves; to get something for nothing, in fact, and that would be a violation of cosmic law.

Don’t wait for God to tell you what to do from the outside—He won’t

And the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God, and into the patient waiting for Christ (2 Thessalonians 3:5).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Whom Did You Expect?

Experience is the worst teacher. It always gives the test first and the instruction afterward.

~ Niklaus Wirth ~

When I taught adult school, I offered a yoga class followed by a stress-management course that I called “Easing on Down the Road.” The first night of the semester, the yoga class ran a few minutes overtime, and I noticed one of the students from the second class standing outside the door, nervously pacing back and forth. The man kept looking in the window, checking his watch, and making an anxious face. When his class began, he fidgeted and squirmed most of the time. He was one of the most uptight students I have ever encountered. During his class, I found myself inwardly complaining, “Why does someone as nervous as he is have to be in my class?” Then another internal voice asked me, “Whom did you expect to take this class—calm and peaceful people?” The voice had a point. I had advertised to teach stress management, and I shouldn’t have been surprised to get stressed students. My complaint was as unfounded as a doctor wanting to see only healthy patients.

If you offer a service, welcome challenge from those who come to you to receive it. They are the contingent that will keep you on the cutting edge of your creativity and force you to go deeper into your latent genius. Your difficult clients will motivate you to open to the next level beyond the one that is currently comfortable, and ultimately improve your skills.

You are here to make the world a better place. Staying in the safety zone changes nothing. Stretching into uncharted territory will bring light to places that were dark. Congratulations on signing up to be an angel.

I pray to offer service to those who can be most helped by my unique talents.

I serve on the cutting edge of my destiny.

[bluidkiti]

March 6

Step by Step

Today, should I hear myself or another AA say the program isn’t working, grant me the humility to be open to the possibility that maybe it is I who isn’t working. I need only to see the countless alcoholics who have recovered without drinking again to know that the problem may be with ME and not the program. Let me not find excuses in the indefensible to rationalize or justify a pending wet or dry drunk, like I am lonely, I have lost too much, no one likes me, I don’t feel anything when I drink or I’m still traumatized by the mustache my mother got when she went through menopause – all excuses. If the program isn’t working for me, maybe I’m not working the program and I need only to fall back on the very first four words of the 12 step to tell me that I’m not working:“Admitted (I was) powerless …” Today, I admit that I am powerless. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

PATIENCE

How poor are they that have not patience.

~ Shakespeare ~

Patient people do not simply stand and suffer. They are busy carefully planning what positive thing they will do next.

It is simple to start demanding wisdom right now. But patience is teemed with acceptance. One doesn’t happen without the other. Wisdom comes with acceptance, and that takes patience. We can’t demand it. We can only accept it.

Patience does not tell us, “grin and bear it.” It does remind us that if we resist acting rashly, all answers will come, in God’s time, not ours. Patience promises rewards for tomorrow and nourishes a desire for change if we give progress ample time.

Patience insists that I make real instead of false starts at growth. It tells me that my greatest teacher is time. I must act only when my plans are well constructed.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Listen, or thy tongue will keep thee deaf.

~ Native American proverb ~

Much of what we learn on this path comes from others also making their way. We go to meetings and listen to their reflections and their stories and we say, that’s like me. When neighbors or friends at work tell us about their lives, we often gain insight about our own. Sometimes we think, I guess I didn’t have it so bad. By being a good listener, we may get encouragement to stay on the path.

It’s an honor to have others disclose to us what they have been through. And it’s a trust that we ought to respect. Listening with an open heart isn’t always easy. It doesn’t mean that we simply sit there while others talk. It means that we engage actively to perceive what they are telling us and to understand how they came to feel and think as they do. When we put our ego aside, we stop thinking about what we will say in response; we stop trying to offer helpful advice or a better answer. We just take in what they are trying to tell us.

Today I will actively engage as a good listener.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

All sorrows can be borne if you put them into a story or tell a story about them.

~ Isak Dinesen ~

Sharing our experience, strength, and hope with others in this program helps to clarify for all of us the miracle of recovery. Telling another woman how we survived the most awful of experiences lets her know that her life is survivable too. It’s not by accident that the founders of AA stressed the value of telling our stories.

Each time we share an aspect of our own traumatic past, its sting is diminished. The more we repeat these awful truths, the less their hold on us. Our storytelling lets our listeners know that their own experiences are not so different after all.

What lucky women we are. No longer do we hide ourselves from others. Each conversation with a sponsor, sponsee, or friend is an opportunity to lighten our load.

I will tell a part of my story to someone today. She may be helped by it, and I will be freed from it!

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am learning how to break my pattern

Sometimes a less healthy voice in me still runs through to old lines: If I drink enough, I can stop my troubling thoughts. I’ll have a hangover the next day, but at least the thoughts will be gone for a while. I don’t like being hungover, but I can’t stop feeling so trapped inside my head.

In the midst of an episode with my dual disorder, it’s hard to hear the voice of my higher power. But on a day like today, when I’m thinking clearly, I hear healthy messages like these: Be sure to take your medication faithfully. Try a relaxation exercise. Call a friend and go for a walk. But whatever you do, don’t drink – it makes things worse in the long run.

I will write down two steps I can take to help me avoid using when I’m having symtoms.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.

~ John Donne ~

In active addiction we were lost and alone. We couldn’t trust anything or anyone, especially ourselves. No place was safe for us; no people were safe for us. The loneliness was the worst of it. There was no one to talk to, perhaps no one who wanted to talk to us. Our self-esteem was so fragile we couldn’t trust people to be gentle enough, so we simply avoided them. With no belief in a Higher Power, our spiritual lives were empty, bankrupt.

In recovery, though, all that has changed. Our newfound spirituality has opened a whole universe to us. We’ve reconnected with ourselves, our Higher Power, other people, and the world itself. Suddenly we belong here and we’re safe here. The world is no longer a lonely and frightening place. Now, it’s a loving place filled with people worthy of respect.

As we learn to love ourselves better, we love others better, too. As we earn our own trust, we feel safer trusting the goodness of others. Empowered and enlightened by our recovery, we can recognize people, places, and things dangerous to that recovery. We can forgive them for being as they are but choose to be different. Now, we’re connected to the universe, and it’s connected fo us.

Today help me appreciate my place in the world. Help me be worthy of it.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations.

~ Faith Baldwin ~

Think of the time-related devices you possess. You probably own at least one wrist watch. You have calendars in your office and home. Your car, your cell phone, and your computer display the time. All of these devices have value. They help keep your day organized, provide you with vital reminders of appointments and commitments, and generally keep you focused throughout the day.

Recovery provides a measurement of time that has similar value in your life: one day at a time. This twenty- four-hour plan utilizes a calendar with just a single day on it with only one to-do item: stay clean and sober.

While your goal is to never drink or drug again, to say that you will give up drinking or drugging forever presents a daunting stretch of time. Too, it provides you with little opportunity to measure your progress. But if, instead, you use the twenty-four-hour plan—if you say, “just for today, I will not drink or drug”—you have a greater chance of success. You will be more focused on your goal and more capable of effectively measuring your progress at the end of the day.

Just for today, I will not drink or drug. I will use the twenty- four-hour plan to provide me with the framework for this achievement.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

It used to be that, if I had a good working day, I thought I was a wonderful person, but otherwise I thought I was a terrible person.

~ Byron Janis ~

How often are we buoyed up by successes and achievements, only to be let down on an unsuccessful day? If we do well or have a good day, then we may feel we’re good people. But if our day has gone badly or we’ve made a mistake, then our self-image becomes negative and critical.

No matter what happens, no matter what our achievements, we’re still good people inside. No one can be wonderful all the time. A good day on the job doesn’t mean we’re good, and a bad day doesn’t mean we’re bad.

We can look at our self-image and see how we really feel. Then we can remember we are good, no matter what we feel. We may not be who we want to be; we may not act the way we want to act; we may not live the way we want to live. But we have the power to change all those things as long as we look inside and see the way we are. We are good inside.

How do I see myself? Tonight, I can look within and ask for the courage to see good.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Feeling desperate

When we were drinking and using chemicals, we became accustomed to waking up to a feeling of impending doom, that desperate feeling of “What did I do or say yesterday?” and “What did people think?”

Even though we’ve quit using drugs or alcohol, sometimes, even after a good day, many of us continue to experience this feeling. It is a bad habit that is gradually eliminated simply by time and by rationally thinking over the previous day.
Am I learning to handle such feelings of desperation?

Higher Power, help me feel enough peace of mind to look at things rationally and to help me avoid being led into feelings of desperation by old habits.

If I feel desperate today, I will handle it by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

The place I really have to reach is where I must already be.

~ LUDWIG WITTGENSTEIN ~

Newcomer

I heard someone share that she’d always thought of smoking marijuana as her big, secret problem. Once she stopped smoking pot, it didn’t take long for her to recognize that alcohol was another problem, in fact the major one. Now, in addition to AA, she goes to meetings for overeaters, and she says she also has problems with codependency. What should I make of all this? I think I may have more than one addiction; should I be going to another program, too? Am I going to spend the rest of my life just going from meeting to meeting?

Sponsor

I don’t blame you for feeling upset at the thought of a lifetime of nothing but program-hopping. Who wouldn’t? Many of us do have multiple addictions. Everyone’s story is different. Some cross-addicted people find the tools and principles of one primary program sufficient for dealing with whatever addiction issues come up for them. Others gratefully avail themselves of the abundance of specialized programs of recovery.

Whichever we decide, most of us need a solid foundation in sobriety before considering a second program. Today, you’re right where you should be, establishing a sober routine. That’s a big change in itself, and it’s bringing about still more changes. For now, why not keep your focus on staying with what you’ve begun so well. In time, more will be revealed.

Today, I take the time I need to strengthen the roots of my recovery. I choose to branch out in new directions when it is clearly appropriate.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Few of us have any real direction to our conduct. We live from day to day, taking care of our problems as they arise, and this is sound AA advice as regards our long-range thinking and planning. This does not mean that we should take this too literally and give absolutely no thought to tomorrow’s needs.

It is absolutely true that tomorrow may never be born, but, on the other hand, it might, and in that event a well filled refrigerator will come in mighty handy.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) You are exactly where God wants you to be.

2) GOD: Give Over Decisions

3) Practice makes it better.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

New Day

Thank You, God, for today.
This is the beginning of a new day. I can waste it or use it for good.
What I do today is important because I am exchanging a day of my life for it.
When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever—leaving in its place something I have traded for it.
I want it to be gain, not loss; good, not evil; success, not failure; in order that I shall not regret the price I paid for today.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

OPEN YOUR MIND

Have you an open mind? Is the window of your soul open for fresh air and the sunshine of Truth to come in, or is it closed and shuttered by mental laziness or the emotional congestion that we call prejudice?

None of us knows how many fine things we have missed through being self-satisfied and cocksure. No one can be considered really intelligent who does not have a readiness to examine new ideas with an open mind.

The history of scientific discovery shows that almost every new step was opposed by the very people who should have welcomed it.

Harvey was denounced for claiming that the blood circulated through the body; Galileo was persecuted for saying that the earth went round the sun; Pasteur was branded a quack for advancing the germ theory of disease; Jenner was threatened with the police for pioneering vaccination. The finality of the atom, which was a scientific dogma in the childhood of most of us, has been completely discarded.

Probably the only incorrigible fool is the man who says that anything is impossible, or that there is any limit to the conquests that divine Intelligence working in mankind can achieve.

The Lord is able to give thee much more than this (2 Chronicles 25:9).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Masters All

Don’t bunt. Aim out of the ballpark. Aim for the company of the immortals.

~ David Ogilvy ~

One of the ways in which we hurt ourselves on the spiritual path is to define ourselves as seekers, students, or addicts. For a time, we are, of course, looking and learning. After that, however, we must acknowledge the truth of our wholeness.

Everyone on the planet is a master of something. The question is not “Are you a master?” but “What are you a master of?” As godly beings, we have the ability to succeed at whatever we put our mind to. Humanity’s challenge is not that we lack the ability to succeed, but that we have applied our skills to things that hurt us.

I once hired a man who I did not know was a drug addict. I loaned him money that he hedged about repaying, and I gave him privileges he abused. When I confronted him, he manufactured some of the most convincing lies I have ever heard. I would go to him with facts that clearly pointed to his lack of integrity, and he would quickly and deftly come up with excuses that I believed. Eventually, he stole a few items and left without notice. In retrospect, I realized I was dealing with a master—a master liar! This fellow was also a master artist. He could have been a great success, but most of his energies went down the drain of his addiction.

Many of us have mastered drama, emergency, lack, worry, and sabotaged relationships. We are able to take a situation with great potential and find a way to undermine it—that is truly mastery! Now we must take the skills we have used to hurt ourselves and apply them to our healing. We must harness the force of intelligent love and build the life we choose rather than the one we fear. We must step forward with the magnificent, innate wisdom we were given and make the planet a heavenly place to live. All of this is clearly within our capacity. Let us manifest our mastery of the divine, which is what we came here to do.

Help me use my gifts to make my life and the world a magnificent place.

God has imbued me with greatness. I let it shine!

[bluidkiti]

March 7

Step by Step

Today, if I can open myself to the premise that AA is about living sober and not about not getting drunk, I may begin to learn if my emotional and spiritual disease stems from my alcoholism or if alcohol contributed to it. If my life was a Broadway play, it would have three acts: Act 1, Before Alcohol; Act 2, The Drinking Days; and, Act 3, The Morning After. In my case, I used alcohol from literally my first drink as a SOLUTION to certain harsh realities – or my perception of them, at least – and, from my first to my last drunk, drinking was my way to go to oblivion, that dark and seemingly safe place which is beyond the reach of reality, pain, agony and responsibilities. Alcohol for me, was self-medication. That self-awareness, a spiritual awakening in its own sense, indicates my alcoholism was cemented in my reaction and response to the realities of my life even before my first drink. And the value of that knowledge is that my program must be built on living sober, not on fighting a temptation to drink. Today, I may have figured out that my program has to be about learning how to live sober, not on how not to drink. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

RESPONSIBILITY

Faith is our greatest gift; its sharing with others, our greatest responsibility.

~ Anonymous ~

Places and things never wronged us. We justify old actions when we blame other things for what we once did to ourselves. This can cause us to return to old behaviours.

We want to give up all stinking thinking. We cannot safely act the way we think we are expected to, but we can work at being ourselves.

We take risks only if they aim at spiritual progress. We become assertive only in seeking whatever can help us grow. Above all, we must try to stop being a “blame thrower” and start shouldering our responsibilities. If we react with compassion, understanding, and love then we will achieve spiritual progress. If we let ourselves be hurt or angry or full of self-pity, we achieve no growth and accept no responsibility.

It’s not always what happens that is my responsibility; it’s how I react to what happens.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

One has to go beyond the pairs of opposites to find the real source.

~ Joseph Campbell ~

We have the habit of seeing things in absolute terms, as either black or white, all or nothing, good or evil. Perhaps we find comfort in the simplicity of a clear and total answer. But this habit leads us down many mistaken paths. We might think, since I made a mistake I must be a bad person. Or perhaps, after he insulted me, I can never be his friend.

Rarely do we find truth at the extremes. Within our complex human nature we must deal with many different drives and forces. We feel generous and giving, and we feel selfish. We want to be helpful and caring, but sometimes we get so angry we feel like hurting some-one. When we can accept the mixture of drives within ourselves, we can learn to manage them as good and mature men. Sometimes we need to make repairs after we break our own rules. Sometimes we say something that we regret, and we need to stay in the dialogue to reach a new understanding. When we can accept our own complexity, we become much more understanding of the same in others.

Today I will look for the middle ground between extremes.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

There’s a lesson to be learned in every painful experience.

~ Mary Timberlake ~

We can learn from every experience, but we may not perceive the full impact of the lesson until months of other experiences have passed. In the interim, however, our reliance on God to help us through will count as a valuable lesson, one that we may need repeatedly.

It might be helpful to believe that every moment of our lives is giving us “something to grow on.” Many hours in a week go by almost unnoticed; thus it’s difficult to realize that they, too, were contributing something to our divine plan.

Getting comfortable with the knowledge that we’re alive to experience God’s lessons and fulfill our destiny makes the problems we face more acceptable and less painful. God intends us not to suffer pain but to experience the world’s joys. Remembering that will lessen the sting.

I will remember that God is with me throughout today’s experiences.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can ask for help

One thing I don’t like about recovery from my dual disorder is having to ask for help. (Normally, I wouldn’t borrow a dime from a friend.) When I need help, sometimes I feel ashamed and vulnerable. When I ask for help, sometimes I feel like I’m causing trouble and I’m afraid I’ll be rejected.

As I talked about this issue with my dual recovery group, I was reminded of two things: (a) I’m a person who is worthy of help. (b) I have two biological illnesses that need treatment and follow-up care – just like heart disease or a broken bone. If I can keep these awareness’s in mind, I can learn to deal with the loss of control – and freedom – that come with needing help.

I will write out a card that reads “It’s OK to ask for help. It means I’m taking care of myself.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

First keep the peace within yourself, then you can also bring peace to others.

~ Thomas k Kempis ~

Ours is a program of sharing, but we can’t share what we don’t have. No matter how much we talk about serenity, peace, or love, we can’t share those things if we don’t really have them ourselves. But how do we find them? Humility is a good place to start. Admitting we don’t have all the answers and are still struggling can open the door to being helped by those who are farther along in their recovery programs. When we keep an open mind and are willing to listen and learn from everyone we meet, we soon discover that everyone has something to teach us. Those still trapped by addiction can teach us how to recognize our errors and how to avoid those pitfalls in the future. When we meet people who radiate peace and serenity, we can notice how they live and try to follow their good example.

We have lessons to learn from everyone we meet, if only we pay attention. We can look and learn and become more the person we want to be. Then we can bring peace and joy to others, too.

Today help me recognize my limitations, and help me be humble enough to learn from others.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Those who have one foot in the canoe and one foot in the boat are going to fall into the river.

~ Tuscarora tribe saying ~

In the past, how many times did you tell yourself, “This drink is going to be my last”? Or perhaps you said that, after one last cigarette, you would stop smoking; after one last hit, you would stop drugging; after one last scratch ticket, you would stop gambling; after one last piece of cake, you would stop overeating.

Engaging in the last of anything does not stop your craving, nor does it steel your will to walk away from it. When you make a promise to yourself, it must be one that is made with your full commitment—otherwise, it cannot be considered as a binding agreement. It is like speaking a truth with your hands hidden behind your back and your fingers crossed.

Renew your commitment—or make a full commitment—to the program. Say, “I will become fully involved” rather than, “I will have one last. The program offers tools, support, and guidance that will help you make promises you are sure to keep.

Today I will be fully engaged in the actions I need to take and the support I will receive from others who understand what I am going through.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

That’s the risk you take if you change: that the people you’ve been involved with won’t like the new you. But other people who do will come along.

~ Lisa Alther ~

When we made the decision to enter the program, it was only a short time before we started making changes. As a .result, many of our friends may have become only passing acquaintances; committed relationships may have changed or ended; family members may have become difficult to deal with or may have abandoned us.

Mostly, we have sensed that we “outgrew” those we knew in the past. And we may have been told, “You’ve changed! I don’t like the new you.” The excitement and hopefulness we gained with our new way of life were not shared by those who were once close to us. We soon felt alone and rejected instead of supported and accepted by the ones we cared about.

Making changes is risky. But as we become more honest with ourselves and with others, we will soon discover that new people will come into our lives and give us the support we need.

I can become willing to let new people into my life.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Accepting God’s love

God’s love is so encompassing and powerful that we cannot understand it. Doubtless, many have turned away from our fellowship because they could not accept such love. Why would anyone want to love me? What’s in it for them?

Maybe these words were once ours, but as we apply our newfound principles we come to understand love, not in our intellect, but in our being. It is through the love and grace of our Higher Power that we have gained so much.

Am I accepting God’s love?

Higher Power, may I come to know the influence of your love, helping me day by day, hour by hour.

Today I will accept God’s love from

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

The difficulty in life is the choice.

~ GEORGE MOORE ~

Newcomer

I’m confused. Should I spend the evening with my old friends? I haven’t told them I’m in this program yet; I’m afraid that they won’t understand. They may tell me that I don’t really have a problem. I don’t want to have to cut off my ties to all my friends just because they’re not in this program.

Sponsor

Decisions, decisions—what freedom! What adventure! When I was active in my addiction, I didn’t have the luxury of making up my mind; my addiction was in charge. Today, how do I reconcile the suggestion to avoid people, places, and things that once led to using with the fact that I have some old friends who genuinely care for me and with whom I want to stay in touch? In trying to make a hard decision, I first ask myself honestly whether my choice will take me closer to my addiction or further from it. If I elect to spend time with non-program people, I feel free to excuse myself to use the phone, to check in with my sponsor or n recovering friend. I make sure that I have my own transportation, and I leave when I’m ready. When you’ve had more experience and are more sure of your recovery, you may decide to share some of your recovery story with old friends—or you may not! The choice is always yours.

Whatever else I do, I stay close to meetings and recovering people. I choose nonaddictive ways to celebrate being alive.

************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Do you hold some great resentment against anyone? Can you afford to keep it? Sure, I know he “done you wrong” but why? Was there any justification for it? Could you have been a little bit wrong also? Does everyone share your dislike for him? If they like him and you don’t how do you account for it? Is it possible they know him better than you do?

Catfish, as ugly as they are, make delicious chowder and a skunk has a valuable fur. No person is either entirely ugly or bad. Maybe there is something wrong with your vision or maybe you haven’t gotten close enough to him to really see him.

************************************************

~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Repression without expression, leads to depression.

2) It’s hard work taking everyone else’s inventory. Worst of all, they seldom seem grateful!

3) We’re all here because we want more.

************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Release Me

Lord, keep me from the habit of thinking I must say something on every subject and on every occasion.
Release me from wanting to control everyone’s affairs.
Keep my mind free from the recital of endless details—give me wings to get to the point.
I ask for grace enough to listen to the tales of others’ pains. Help me to endure them with patience, but seal my lips on my own aches and pains—they are increasing and my love of rehearsing them is becoming sweeter as the years go by.
Teach me the glorious lesson that occasionally it is possible that I may be mistaken.
Keep me reasonably sweet. I do not want to be a saint—some of them are so difficult to live with— but a sour old person is one of the crowning works of the devil.
Give me the ability to see good things in unexpected places, and talents in unexpected people. And give me, O Lord, the grace to tell them so.
Make me thoughtful, but not moody; helpful, but not bossy. With my vast store of wisdom, it seems a pity to not use it all, but you know, Lord, that I want a few friends at the end.

***********************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

HOW TO BE UNHAPPY

Sit down quietly where you are not likely to be disturbed. Relax the body–and begin to think about yourself. Every time your thought wanders to something higher, bring it back gently but relentlessly.

Think about the past. Think over all the opportunities you have missed and the time you have wasted. Especially think of all the occasion upon which you have been badly treated.

Think about your body and wonder if your age or your job or the climate isn’t to tell. See if you cannot discover a pain or an ache somewhere.

Think about finances and if they are going well now, insist that this is probably too good to last.

In any case, think about yourself, that is the main point, and if you will keep this up faithfully for fifteen or twenty minutes, there can be no doubt about the result.

Seest thou a man wise in his own conceit? There is more hope of a fool than of him (Proverbs 26:12)

************************************************

~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

God’s Law Above All

I am under no laws but God’s.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

A woman came to our healing group and requested prayer while she awaited the results of a biopsy. That night in a dream, I saw a photographic negative covered by a large book. When I meditated on the meaning of the dream, I recognized that the negative was a medical x-ray, symbolizing the laws if medicine. The book was A Course in Miracles, symbolizing the power of Spirit to heal anything. The message was clear: The laws of God supersede the “laws” of this world. The next day I received a phone call from the woman, telling me that her test results showed that she was healthy.

All of the “laws” to which the world subscribes have no power in the face of divine grace and true love. The “laws” of medicine, economics, government, and social expectations are limited belief systems and cannot provide us with the security that universal principles offer us. To truly be healed, we must go beyond what the world tells us and take refuge in the reality of Spirit.

Let me know without a doubt that only Your law of peace is constant.

I surrender all beliefs in limited laws. My power is absolute universal love.

[bluidkiti]

March 8

Step by Step

Today, if I doubt or fear what lies ahead on the road toward sobriety, I will remember that I am walking Robert Frost’s “Road Less Traveled,” less traveled, at least, by me. If I become shaky or uncertain about what bends I might encounter on this unfamiliar road, let me look back at the road I hope to leave behind, a road that is well-traveled and littered with broken whiskey bottles, broken dreams and promises, losses of people and places and things. If on the road I walk now the uncertainty is strong enough to tempt me to turn around and get back on the other road I know too well, let me not forget the reasons I left that one for the road less traveled because, unlike the less walked road, I know all too well the twists and turns of the other one. And with the stinging memories of that road I’ve left behind, the program has given me the map of the road less traveled. And, today, our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M

************************************************

~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

OPEN MINDS

Minds are like parachutes. They won’t work unless they are open.

~ Anonymous ~

Unless we maintain open minds, e cannot hope to make attitude changes for the better. Open-mindedness will prevent selfishness and reduce the possibility of painful resentments by not allowing intolerance and prejudice.

It is fortunate that we are individuals with personal opinions and that we can express different views without causing problems. We can disagree without being disagreeable. Besides, variety in viewpoints keeps recovery from being dull or boring.

In our Program, open minds remind us that common welfare comes before personal wishes.

When I lock the doors of my mind, I am keeping more of value out of my heart than can ever be harboured in a tightly closed mind.

************************************************

~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness.

~ Bertrand Russell ~

We learn, as we make peace with ourselves, that we have enough. Our old mind became anxious if we thought we needed something we could not have. We feared we would not be safe or comfortable, and we sought security in the comfort of things. Like the rush to the food market before a storm, the prospect of scarcity haunted us and we got anxious.

On the spiritual path we learn to say, “I have enough. I will not have more to deal with than I can handle. All will be well. I am in the care of my Higher Power.” We can’t say it once and have it settled. Just as we practice safe driving or healthy eating habits, this is called spiritual practice because we continue doing it. We often forget the reassurance and we need to keep returning to it. Something changes inside when we accept that we can be at peace, and we can be happy, even when we don’t have everything we want.

Today I live with satisfaction that I have enough.

************************************************

~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Change comes about when we stop trying to shape up the other person and begin to observe patterns and find new options for our own behavior.

~ Harriet Lemer ~

Accepting that we can’t change someone else affects every detail of our lives. Many of us have spent years frustrated, even frantic at times, trying to control the actions and the opinions of others.

At last we have been helped to look at our own behavior. What a relief to be rid of the burden of being responsible for others’ actions! Focusing only on ourselves is empowering. Every day feels more adventurous when we take full responsibility for our thoughts and words, leaving to others what belongs to them.

Being personally responsible for learning new patterns of behavior is like teaching a small child how to skip. Effort pays off in time.

I will have many chances today to mold my behavior to match my self-perception.


************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I want to feel useful and productive

For a while I hardly knew who I was or where I was. But slowly, with medication and a good therapy group, I got reoriented and back on my feet. Now I’m abstinent and stable and I feel much stronger.

I don’t want to just hang around anymore. I want to use my talents to make something, or make something work. I want to help. I want to be with other people these days. In fact, I’m ready to go back to work. I believe I can handle it now. I want to earn my keep again.

I will talk with professionals who can help me with getting a part-time job and vocational training.


***********************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

What a piece of work is a man.
How noble in reason.

~ William Shakespeare ~

As we grow in recovery, we look increasingly to our Higher Power for help and guidance. When we get around to asking our God to remove our shortcomings, we have reached a healthy place in recovery by admitting we actually have some.

But there’s a difference between asking to be saint-like and having our shortcomings removed. We’re asking for help in changing the things we do that hurt ourselves and others. We are not asking to be made perfect.

When we first come to this challenge, we may discover we’re secretly fond of these shortcomings. The thought of living without them fills us with anxiety. They are links to the past, to our family of origin, and it may feel like betrayal to live without them. All the more reason to ask for help in removing them; they are danger points that can prevent sober spiritual growth. But what joy we find when we ask for help in removing them. Suddenly we feel we can change, are changing, every day. We no longer need to flounder out of control, hurting ourselves or others. Now we can begin to put our lives in order.

Today help me ask for help and guidance. Help me let go of my unhealthy links to the past.


************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

The difference between transformation by accident and transformation by a system is like the difference between lightning and a lamp. Both give illumination, but one is dangerous and unreliable, while the other is relatively safe, directed, available.

~ Marilyn Ferguson ~

In the past, the idea of recovery may have frightened you or intrigued you. With no awareness of the components of recovery, you could only make assumptions. But now that you are in the program, you know that the doing of recovery requires conscious decisions to change. Very few people wake up in the morning thinking, “I want to do something so different and foreign to me that it will require every ounce of my focus, energy, and strength.” Doing requires the four Ps: preparation, patience, planning, and perseverance. Through dedicated attention to each of these things, progress can be made. Unlike lightning-bolt changes—those things that happen so suddenly that there is no time for preparation—changes brought about from your actions can provide you with the greatest sense of pride and accomplishment.

Doing the changes you are making today will light the path ahead of you so you can take each step of the journey with the confidence you need to take action.

Today I dedicate myself to making slow, gradual progress. I will be patient but dedicated in all of my actions.


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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.

~ Marie Curie ~

Most of us have heard older relatives tell of the fears we had in childhood. Many were natural childhood fears; the first day of school, big dogs, even the dark. As we grew older, we understood the fears and grew out of them. Now when we hear reminiscences of those fears, we can laugh.

But what happens when we confront today’s fears: meeting new people, attending a social event, giving up an obsession, spending time with our parents? Instead of understanding the cause of our fear, we may let the fear overrun us.

We can put things in perspective by questioning, “What’s the worst thing that can happen?” Maybe what we fear isn’t always negative. Maybe we fear we’ll get that promotion or we won’t have an argument with our parents. Whatever our fears may be, we need to see them as lessons to study. Once we understand each new lesson, we’ll become masters of our lives. We will run our actions instead of our fears.

I can study at least one of my fears to understand it better.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Going to any lengths

Before we sought help, we became very ill— physically, mentally, and spiritually. We couldn’t stand to look at ourselves in a mirror. We had to hit bottom before we could help ourselves. But when we did, we became ready to try anything, to go to any lengths.

We must never forget where we came from and in what condition we arrived. We must not forget that we are pill heads, drunks, and junkies. If we do forget, our willingness to “go to any lengths” will fade away.

Am I still willing to go to any lengths?

Higher Power, I pray that I may always remember where I came from and in what condition I arrived at this program.

The lengths I will go to today are

God help me to stay clean and sober today!


************************************************

~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Chance everywhere has power.

~ OVID ~

Newcomer

I heard someone say the other day that “coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous.” Am I really supposed to believe that God is involved in every insignificant piece of luck I have? It’s a bit much for me to believe that my Higher Power is interested in whether or not I get a good parking space. And what about the days when everything isn’t going my way?

Sponsor

Some people experience coincidence as evidence that our lives are in the hands of a loving God, and some see good or bad luck simply as part of the randomness of events. Maintaining good recovery doesn’t require that we take a stand on this subject!

There’s another way of thinking about seemingly chance happenings: Wherever they come from, whatever else they are, coincidences are sober opportunities. When I bump into someone I’ve been thinking about making amends to, I have an opportunity to do it on the spot, and I don’t pass it up.

When I’ve been avoiding taking one particular Step and find myself at a meeting where that very Step is being discussed, I have a chance to let go of my resistance then and there.

What we call coincidence involves a meeting of events with our own awakened spirit. In recovery; we often see openings for taking action and for feeling gratitude—opportunities that we would have missed if we were still active in our addictions.

Today, I am awake and alive to opportunities for sober action.

************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

So you have dried up – you’re off the stuff. That’s fine, but many of us have to face the ridicule of our former drinking pals and unfortunately some of us couldn’t take it.

Who is the ringleader of that jeering section? The chances are he was the guy who needed the program as badly as you did. He didn’t want you sober because you were frequently worth the price of a bottle. He had no logical argument to use so he resorted to ridicule.

Remember that he who laughs at you tonight, tomorrow morning you can kid Hell out of.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Don’t assume evil motives for what stupidity can explain.

2) Keep It simple and remember to thank yourself.

3) You get what you need and inevitably find out it was what you wanted all the time.

************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Please, Lord
Please, Lord, teach us to laugh again; but God, don’t ever let us forget that we cried.

***********************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

HOW TO FAIL IN EVERYTHING

Knock everything systematically. No matter what you hear of, deprecate it and predict the worst.

Mind everyone else’s business. This will insure you neglecting your own.

Never perform today what you can possibly postpone unto tomorrow.

Leave the important things to someone else instead of seeing to them personally.

Have no organized arrangements. Trust to luck for everything.

Be a sanctimonious humbug, and when you bungle things say it is “the Lord’s will” or that the trouble is that you are too good for your surroundings.

Sit down and wait for something to turn up.

Finally, conduct your life in all respects as if there were not God.

Deliver me from all my transgression: make me not the reproach of the foolish (Psalm 39:8).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

The Right of Consciousness

Circumstances do not make the man—they reveal him.

~ James Allen ~

When I complimented my friend on her car, she reported, “My husband wants the car as part of our divorce. But because I brought the car into the marriage, I argued with him. Then I realized that it was my consciousness that drew the car to me. My husband can take the car, but not my consciousness. I told him he could have the car. I still have my consciousness, and with that I can attract a dozen more cars if I want to.”

What we have is not a result of luck or circumstance, but thought and attitude. Some people succeed at everything they do, and others fail consistently. The life we live is not cast upon us like a net; it is magnetized by our attitude. No one can take from you anything you deserve by right of your consciousness, and you cannot keep something you have not earned by virtue of your thoughts.

The most powerful way to improve your circumstances is by upgrading your consciousness. If you try to change your situation without changing your mind, sooner or later you will revert to your former position. When you change your mind, life has no choice but to re-cluster itself according to the new level of vibration at which you are operating.

Help me keep You in my thoughts, that my world may reflect divinity everywhere I look.

My consciousness of good magnetizes ever-increasing blessings to me.

[bluidkiti]

March 9

Step by Step

Today – and every day that follows if any – I accept reality as it is and not as I want it to be through my character defects or as I think my reality should be. Failure or refusal to recognize and accept the reality of my being makes my recovery one that is not based in fact, honesty and integrity and, predictably, I may be setting myself up for relapse. Being abstinent is not the end of recovery: it is the beginning because I have to confront the emotional and spiritual defects of a sick character that take significantly longer than just being dry to repair. Today, in my Fourth and 10th steps, may I have the objectivity – not to mention guts – to be honest about my reality so that my recovery is based in truth instead of denial of my actual emotional and spiritual sickness. A recovery of anything less than absolute self-awareness and honesty makes me little more than a dry drunk. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

PROCRASTINATION

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

~ Don Marquis ~

We were constant procrastinators before we began our 12 Step Program. Addiction created the habit of delay because, as long as we had our substance, everything else could wait.

Now we know that action truly is the magic word. The slogan “Easy Does It” doesn’t mean to put things off. It means to do it, but do it in God’s good time. Slow growth doesn’t mean postponement.

We can’t put off airing problems to other people for fear of being ridiculed. We need answers early during our progress. When we attempt to ask for solutions, we can be clear and direct in our questions. We know our friends will always give us the right to be wrong and quickly correct faulty thinking.

I can solve problems just by “pressing on.” Procrastination is not living one day at a time. I will do today what I am meant to do today.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says: “I’ll try again tomorrow.’1

~ Anne Hunninghake ~

A key quality that distinguishes a successful athlete, or a top-notch performer in any field, is the way he responds to his bad days. Everyone has good days and bad days, and the good ones are certainly easier to handle. But do we allow the bad ones to throw us off our course? Are we so shaken by our mistakes or troubles that we lose our focus on our goals?

Adult development is a process; it’s never an end goal that we reach and hold. Our healing and recovery includes preparing ourselves to respond well to the bad days. We can do that by keeping our eye on the big picture, knowing that however bad things may seem at the moment, they will change. We learn to reach deep into our spiritual center for the courage to stay focused in the midst of our hardest days. We don’t have to do it alone. We have the spiritual support of our Higher Power and the companionship of our friends to keep us on the path.

Today I will stay in touch with my spiritual center to find the courage for another day.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Believe the best in yourself. Then it is easier to believe the best in others.

~ Mardy Kopischke ~

Most of us have struggled—perhaps for years— trying to see the best in ourselves. But our less- than-stellar behavior has muddied our attempts to focus on our positive qualities. We have always had them; however, it may require a careful inventory and our sponsor’s feedback to bring our positive qualities into focus. Why is it so much easier to remember the actions over which we feel shame?

Many of us can’t see the good in ourselves until we can recognize what it looks like. It helps to start by identifying the good in other people; then we can learn to identify it in ourselves. This effort will ensure us many rewards.

It’s really not important how we go about identifying our best attributes. That we come to appreciate them is the goal. And the beauty of this is that by openly expressing our appreciation we strengthen the good in ourselves and in others.

The contribution I can make today is really so easy. All I need to do is focus on a positive quality not only in someone else but also in myself.


************************************************

~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I have one goal today: stay clean and sober

I want to do it. I know I can do it. I’ve done it before. I will do it again. Now that my psychiatric symptoms are getting better, I want to stop using more than anything else. I want my life back again – all of it.

Today I know what to do and I know who can help me. I have no excuses anymore. I’ll be OK without my drug. The most important thing in my life today is staying straight. Today, it’s the only thing I have to do.

I will write out the most important thing I can do to remain abstinent on this clean-and-sober day.


***********************************************

~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Look inside. See the wonderful and the painful.
Be open to the process of taking an inventory.

~ Margaret M. ~

Inventory? We thought we only had to do that when the tax man came around. Now we’re supposed to look closely at ourselves and write it all down— a pretty scary proposition.

But if we feel the fear and move through it, we’ll see and find a lot. To know who we’re working with on this journey through recovery, we’d better interview ourselves pretty well. We have a long way to go together; it will be an easier trip if we start out with an honest look.

But an honest look means giving ourselves credit for all the good in us, too. An inventory isn’t just of negatives, but of everything in us. We need to be aware of the major roadblock we call “perfection.” This has stopped many efforts and is a way of avoiding this self-search.

This is all new behavior for us. It’ll feel scary, maybe confusing at first. But we can learn to let go of fear and take our time. Now we have support systems and trust in our Higher Power to help us. With the new strength we’ve found, we can face an inventory with courage and get to know and love our true selves for the first time.

Today help me trust my Higher Power to guide me through the maze. The reward at the other end is worth it.


************************************************

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

It’s this simple—if I never try anything, I never learn anything—if I never take a risk, I stay where I am.

~ Hugh Prather ~

In the movie Cast Away, Tom Hanks plays a man who is marooned on an island after a plane crash. As the days turn into weeks, then into months, and finally into years, he loses hope that he will ever be rescued. But then the tide brings him a piece of metal and he forms an idea. If he could build a raft, using the metal as a sail, he could perhaps escape the island and return to civilization.

His plan works. He yearns to resume life where he left off, but everything has changed. Filled with despair, he visits a friend who asks how he was able to survive on the island. He thinks for a moment and then answers, “I knew, somehow, that I had to stay alive… I had to keep breathing… so that’s what I did.”

Recovery requires you to trust even when you feel there is no reason to hope. To embark on a new path requires you to try new ways of acting, behaving, and living. Unless you try, you will never know if you can succeed.

Today the risks I take will give me wings. With these wings, I can experience a new way of living.


************************************************

~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

If one only wished to be happy, this could be easily accomplished; but we wish to be happier than other people, and this is always difficult, for we believe others to be happier than they are.

~ Charles de Secondat Montesquieu ~

How many times have we gone out to dinner with friends and ordered what they ordered? Or bought a pair of shoes or some clothing because we liked the item on someone else? Imitation can be the sincerest form of flattery, but it can also be a way of trying to capture the same things we admire in another person.

How often do we compare our emotions? “If only I were as happy as she is,” we might say. It may be easier to look at how others feel instead of looking at our-selves. We may not even know how we feel unless we look at someone else for comparison.

Yet appearances are not always the true story. Some-one can seem like the happiest person, yet be miserable inside. Happiness has to come from within us. It’s okay if our expressions of happiness don’t reflect the expressions of others. The only reflections we need to see are our own. 

I can look in the mirror and see happiness the way it really is. If I want to be happier, that’s up to me.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Having a sponsor

Why do people in this program always suggest we get a sponsor? Doubtful people ask, “If I have the whole fellowship to turn to, why do I need a sponsor?” Considering the fact that we have tricky minds, the whole fellowship would give us too many answers.

If we didn’t like one answer, we could go to another and then another until we got the answer we wanted. But this would be self- will run riot and contrary to turning our will over to the care of God. A sponsor can put a check on our self-will.

Do I have a sponsor?

Higher Power, may I learn not to operate on self-will and may my mind stay clear so that I don’t play games with my life.

Today I will talk with my sponsor about

God help me to stay clean and sober today!


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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Anything done with focus, awareness, or mindfulness is a meditation.

~ DAVID HARP ~

Newcomer

I hear people talk about meditating, but I don’t seem to know how. When I try sitting still, my mind wanders, or I fall asleep. I just don’t get it.

Sponsor

Even in recovery, we have an endless capacity for being con-fused. There are literally dozens of different approaches to meditation and many books and classes that teach them. Some forms of meditation come out of ancient traditions, some are religious, and some are just methods of relaxation. You can practice meditation alone or with others, in silence or chanting, sitting or walking. Even cleaning house can be a form of meditation!

Over time, I’ve found a simple approach to meditation that feels natural and right for me. If you’d like to try it, here’s how: Take three to five minutes for time out to sit quietly, without distractions. Scan your body and mind, and let go of any tensions you notice. Breathe naturally, and pay attention to what that feels like. Whatever thoughts or sensations arise, don’t make yourself wrong for having them. Afterward, you may notice that you feel calm and refreshed.

Whatever I choose to do today, I practice doing it with ease and pleasure. I keep it simple. I don’t judge my progress.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

When we become fully conscious that we, as men, are spirit primarily, that our bodies are but necessary instruments through which the spirit works; that the mind is not a collection of brain cells but is actually a series of thought waves as free of actual substance as the winds or the rays of light or heat, we appreciate the fact that chains are powerless to restrain the thoughts which are actually the mind.

We can and do select the thoughts we store up in those brain cells. We keep what we want and we discard what we please. The kind of thoughts we think become habit and so become us.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) GOD: Good Orderly Direction

2) Refuse to star in their psychodrama.

3) Repression causes depression.

************************************************

~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

My Prayer for You

I thought of you so much today
I went to God in prayer,
To ask Him to watch over you
And show you that we care.

My prayer for you was not for rewards
That you could touch or feel,
But true rewards for happiness
That are so very real.

Like love and understanding
In all the things you do,
And guidance when you need it most
To see your troubles through.

I asked Him for good health for you
So your future could be bright,
And faith to accept life’s challenges
And the courage to do what’s right.

I gave thanks to Him
For granting my prayer
To bring you peace and love.
May you feel the warmth in your life
With God’s blessings from above.

***********************************************

~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

HOW TO KEEP FROM GROWING

Never be original. Find out what is usually done and copy that. Realize that you have nothing more to learn. This will destroy all danger of success.

Sneer at those who are more successful than yourself.

Tell yourself that it is now too late, and that you really did not have the proper equipment; and it will be especially helpful to keep saying that people are against you.

Never learn from experience. Keep on doing the same fool things time after time.

Never wait to hear the other side of the story. Knowing both sides will only unsettle your mind.

Use your wit destructively. Be smart at the expense of absent people.

Stand on your dignity. Never forget that you have a position to keep up.

Try to get everything cheap. Study and practice to become the perfect “chiseler.” This will build an invincible poverty complex.

…the heart of fools proclaimeth foolishness (Proverbs 12:23).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Hold Your Ground

If you don’t run your own life, someone else will.

~ John Atkinson ~

After the filming of Field of Dreams was completed on location in Iowa, one of the farmers who owned the plot of land where the movie was shot, plowed a section of the baseball field. Soon he was faced with such an outcry from neighbors and visitors that he yielded and restored the field. Later he acknowledged, “Well, I guess if it makes people happy to come, that’s fine with me.”

Don’t let anyone plow under your field of dreams. While it may mean little to them, it is precious to you. If you love your project or vision, stand behind it. It needs your energy and caring. If your venture is worthwhile, the world will come around. And even if the world does not stand in acclaim, you cannot afford to abandon the child of your heart.

Give me the strength to uphold what You would have me do.
I believe in me, and I believe in You.

I bring my visions to life with faith and action.

[bluidkiti]

March 10

Step by Step

Today, Step Eight – ” ...became willing to make amends …” – Understand that simply becoming willing to be free of my character defects means nothing if I do not understand WHY I must make those amends. To become willing, I must first accept that I have damaged not only myself but others whose anger at me, the injury I inflicted on them and possible permanent damage may still be too fresh for acceptance of my apologies. It is in Step Nine in which we hear the need for more than becoming willing: we make our amends“except when to do so would injure” those to whom we apologize and others who may be collateral damage on our trail of destruction. A failure to see or to understand and feel the need to release the defects that contributed to my misconduct may mean I might still harbor those defects, however deeply, and that they may resurface to derail my recovery. Today, if I have an amend to make, God grant that I feel with honesty, sincerity, humility and a healing hand why I must do so. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

COMPLACENCY

First we work the Program because we HAVE to. Then we work the Program because we are WILLING to. Finally we work the Program because we WANT to.

~ Anonymous ~

To think at any time that our battle for continuous emotional growth has been won could be the biggest mistake in our life today. Self-satisfaction is a tougher enemy than discouragement. Overconfidence can make us open to self-importance and a target for failure.

Watchfulness has to be the guiding force in everyday living. We will always remember that people like us who once lived with despair usually find it more difficult to deal with success than with failure.

We can fight tendencies toward being smug by being alert to it. Watchfulness takes patience.

It would be easy to become complacent if I began to believe that all I had to do in recovery was to accept my problems and relax. As my sponsor says, “If we don’t grow, we gotta go.”

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

At the heart of the simple life is an emphasis on harmonious and purposeful living.

~ Duane Elgin ~

At some point, we all complain about the fast pace and complexity of modem life. We rush the kids to school or day care, and when we get to work, we practice multi-tasking, trying to be more efficient and productive. Driving home from work, we catch up on some phone calls. But somehow, as busy as we are, we are never led to that point of completion with calm and quiet—only to more busyness.

To have a simpler life, we have to consciously choose it. Busily running around and embracing more tasks does not open the door to simplicity. We can decide not to be frantic and scattered in our daily tasks. Instead we can be attentive, present in the moment, and focused on the one thing that is before us. Being in harmony with our surroundings is at least as important as efficiency. When we choose to push back against the hectic pace and move toward simplicity and harmony, we think more clearly, we know ourselves better, we make better choices, our physical health is stronger, and maybe we are actually more productive.

Today I will choose simplicity and harmony.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Today I will stop brooding—and start meditating.

~ Nancy T. ~

The Eleventh Step suggests that we meditate in order to know God’s will for us. Not recognizing how to do that at first, we mistakenly think that when we “shut up,” we’re meditating. But we eventually realize that quieting the mouth is not the same as quieting the mind.

To meditate—to free our minds of worries, snarling questions, and constant complaints— makes it possible for us to know the best step to take next. We are good at “getting quiet” (perhaps becoming sullen is a better description), but clearing our mind of all thoughts is not easy. With enough practice, however, we will begin to savor the meditative moments and seek them far more often. When that occurs, we’ll find the serenity we have been promised, the serenity we observe in others. We’ll also find we know how to handle those situations that used to baffle us.

I can figure out my next best move today if I quiet my mind long enough to receive God’s message.


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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I don’t have to stay depressed all day.

This morning I woke up again with a nightmare (not Fun!). I’m not surprised – They’ve been showing up now and then as I deal with this depression. At first I felt so bad I didn’t think I could get out of bed – but somehow I did. And then, somehow, I showered, ate, and took my medication. Somehow I completed my early morning routine.

I’m surprised by my strength (and pleased). This afternoon I feel better; in fact, I feel pretty good right now. I don’t feel tired or sad or guilty. I think I feel good enough to walk around the park. This change feels great.

I will spend five minutes today thinking about how a recovery plan helps me stay abstinent and stable.


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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

If you listen, you get your own answers.

~ Walter C. ~

One of the wonderful things about a Twelve Step recovery program is that each of us gets to decide for ourselves what it means and how it works for us. How often do we stop to think about our place in the big picture? For most of us it hasn’t been an everyday experience. But when the program came into our lives, we were compelled to look at this — and compelled as well to figure out just what shape our Higher Power might take.

It was one of those tasks we needed to do early in recovery. People around us had a lot of different ideas. We talked a lot; listened even more. Finally our own ideas began to emerge. We began finding a relationship with God as we understood God. Over time it has changed, and will continue to change, as we journey through life. It’s comforting not to travel alone. As we grow in recovery, our ability to accept and understand a Higher Power will also continue to develop. With this growing relationship, we gain courage and serenity every day.

Today help me remember that my relationships with myself, my family and friends, and my environment are all enriched when I put God into each of these areas.


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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

A compromise is an arrangement whereby someone who can’t get exactly what he wants makes sure nobody else gets exactly what they want.

~ Barbara Florio Graham ~

Because recovery can seem like it is one struggle after another, you may feel as if you are constantly battling “enemies.” You may not take the time to ask yourself, “Are these enemies real or imagined?” Instead, you may strive to safeguard yourself against what you think are personal attacks by others, attempts to control you, or deliberate actions designed to set up roadblocks in your recovery. In doing so, you may withdraw from interacting with those who have the most experience or your best interests at heart.

When you are at a heightened level of defensiveness or feel vulnerable, you can easily misinterpret words and actions and blow things out of proportion. Then, your battle with another becomes real.

To foster a less volatile and more cooperative spirit, first bring your emotions under control. When you feel defensive, take a moment to ask, “Am I overreacting?” Listen more closely to the words of others. You may find what you thought was criticism is really someone reaching out to you in kindness and support.

Today I will remove my battle armor and really listen to others. I will be respectful of them and keep my emotions in check.


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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Little do [we] perceive what solitude is, and how far it extendeth, for a crowd is not company, and faces are but a gallery of pictures, and talk but a tinkling cymbal where there is no love.

~ Sir John Lubbock ~

Today we may be learning what friendship means to us. We may have found that time and the changes we’ve made have changed the cast of characters in our lives. Friends from the past may no longer be friends; people we never thought we would be close to may now be meaningful to us. Yet we may find it difficult to open up to these people and may hesitate to form friendships beyond a meeting hall or cup of coffee.

Friendship is based totally on trust of another person. Today we are working on trust issues. We are learning we need to take risks to feel comfortable with ourselves and others. Extending the hand of friendship to another or touching the hand extended toward us is the first step in getting to know others and letting them know us.

I can be a friend to another. I can take a risk to share myself and also let someone share with me.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Exercising patience

To be patient means being willing to wait for fulfillment. We can head straight for our goal of becoming clean and sober, asking for patience as we pause for the stoplights along the way and wait.

If we refuse to wait and plunge ahead, we are sure to go the long way around and per-haps lose sight of our objective in the process. We must always keep in mind that our objective is a clean and sober way of thinking and living. We must have patience or our objective will slip away.

Do I exercise patience?

Higher Power, help me to do the things today that will make me ready. Help me to be willing to wait for the right things.

I will exercise patience today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!


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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

The door must either be shut or be open.

~ OLIVER GOLDSMITH ~

Newcomer

Step Three begins with the words “Made a decision . . .” Sometimes I wonder whether I did make a decision to come here. I felt desperate; there really wasn’t any choice.

Sponsor

Many of us have felt the desperation you speak of and saw this program as our last chance. Some of us came here to placate another person, to help a friend we thought needed recovery, or because a court of law required us to. Some of us came here with willingness and eager curiosity; we sensed that we were “home” right from the beginning. Others were reluctant and skeptical. Though each of us had to make a conscious decision to come to a meeting, it may feel as if something more than our own intentions got us here.

Now that we’re here, we still have to make the decision to stay sober. We can elect to embrace recovery, or we can reject it and turn ourselves back over to addiction. We pray each day for the courage to remain in recovery. No one can force us to choose life and love, but it’s here, if we have the willingness to choose it.

Today, it’s easy and natural to make decisions that support my recovery.

************************************************

~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Man has taken the raw materials of Nature and created works of such beauty and power as to be second only to Nature itself, yet only an insignificant few have contributed materially in this work.

For the most part, man crawls through life on a plane but slightly higher than brute creation. The train of progress has a thousand deadheads for every paying passenger.

We are no longer bums but passengers on the train of progress who have not only paid our fare but are willing to get out and push when the going gets tough.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) It’s hard to be Grateful when you’re Hateful.

2) Motivate, don’t denigrate.

3) Keep the focus on yourself, but once the picture is taken, move on.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Self-Respect Prayer

O God, teach me that self-respect cannot be hunted It cannot be purchased. It is never for sale. It comes to me when I am alone, in quiet moments, in quiet places, when I suddenly realize that, knowing the good, I have done it; knowing the beautiful, I have served it; knowing the truth, I have spoken it.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

HOW TO DESTROY YOUR HEALTH

Get emotional and excited over every trifling occurrence, especially if it is no concern of yours.

Eat and drink indiscriminately. Your stomach is only a sink, anyway, and being make of cast iron, will stand anythin.

Cut down on your sleep. This is an excellent way to undermine the nervous system.

Never relax. That would give the body a chance to recuperate.

Avoid all exercise. Exercise promotes circulation.

Read as much as you can about diseases and ailments. Your public library will carry many suitable books.

Discuss your own ailments at great length and, if you have had an operation, give dramatic little lectures about it at every opportunity.

Take good care of your dog, and your horse, and your automobile, but neglect your body. The bible says that your body is the Temple of the Holy Spirit, and to go against the Bible is always a good shortcut to trouble.

… If thou wilt diligently hearken to the voice of the Lord thy God, and will do that which is right in his sight, and wilt give ear to his commandments, and keep all his statues, I will put none of these diseases upon thee

… for I am the Lord that healeth thee (Exodus 15:26).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Get Fired

If you aren’t fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm.

~ Vince Lombardi ~

Andrew was an attorney who hated law but loved computers. It was no surprise, then, that when his firm went bankrupt Andrew researched bankruptcy laws and recorded his notes on his computer. After several months, he realized that he had arranged a wealth of information in a way that no one else had. Andrew took his notes and computer program to some executives at Apple Computers, who were so impressed by what he had done that they offered him a handsome sum of money to develop the program. Now he works with enthusiasm as a legal program consultant for Apple.

The key ingredient for success is enthusiasm. You can have a wealth of skills, but if your heart is not fully present, you will feel unfulfilled, and your work will reflect it. If you have enthusiasm, you will find the energy to acquire the necessary skills and draw to you all the people and support you need to succeed.

We dishonor ourselves and others by staying in positions out of familiarity or obligation. If you tolerate boredom or compromise, the universe will fire you so you can be in your right place where you can really be fired. The word enthusiasm comes from the Latin de Teos, meaning “from God.” Whenever you are enthusiastic about something, no matter what it is, you are in God. When you act without excitement, you have strayed from your source. If it is not a “Hell, yes!,” it is a “No.” If you practice this principle, you will be in your right place, you will feel fulfilled, and miracles will happen through you.

Give me the courage to live from enthusiasm and not fear.

I do what I love, and the universe fulfills me and everyone I affect.

[bluidkiti]

March 11

Step by Step

Today, should I be tempted to try “just one” and then “just one more night,” let me have the honesty to admit to myself that I have already premeditated a slip or relapse and to find the wisdom “to change the things I can.” And a temptation is something I CAN change. Grant me the courage to do what the program suggests when temptation calls – reach out to a sponsor, co-member, or even an online contact BEFORE I take the drink. Asking for help AFTER is too late. And if I don’t have the sense to seek help before the drink, let me remember the yesterdays of morning afters and their residue: hangovers, shakes, guilt, remorse, memory loss, fear, shame. Is any of that worth the instant gratification of a drink and, with all honesty, does my drinking history have even ONE drink? No! Today, if I am tempted, let me have the courage to muster the honesty to tell myself that I am premeditating a relapse, that a slip is a myth and that the consequence simply isn’t worth it. And, today, I’ll call help. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

THE READY PUPIL

God gave us two ears, but only one mouth. Some say that’s because our Higher Power wanted us to spend twice as much time listening as we did talking.

~ Anonymous ~

One of the most valuable things we can do is to become a good listener. When we concentrate on absorbing what wiser and more experienced members say rather than thinking about what we imagine others want to hear from us, we will grow in our Program. We are aware that “when the pupil is ready, the teacher will appear.”

Often, the teacher is an unlikely source. Some of the things we most need to hear may come from someone new to the Program. If we are highly educated, it may come from someone with no education at all. If we are materially successful, it may come from someone who has nothing. We are all teachers and all students in the Program. We constantly learn from each other, wherever or whoever we are.

I shall never stop learning as I will always be a pupil in my Program. Thankfully, I will never graduate. There are no diplomas, only revelations. I will be a good listener.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Never believe that a few caring people can’t change the world, for indeed, that’s all who ever have.

~ Margaret Mead ~

The pessimists and the naysayers believe that the future is bleak. Storm clouds are always present somewhere, they say, leading things inexorably to the worse. Yet our own recovery and our restored lives are living proof that growth and improvement are always possible. We know how bad things felt in our own lives and how much better they have now become. Our own experience is all we need to give us hope.

When a couple of guys in Ohio first got together to find a path out of alcoholism and despair, they started a Twelve Step recovery program that has brought hope and transformation to millions. When so many around them were hopelessly caught in the grip of alcoholism, these guys dared to hope that they could be restored to sanity. They changed the world.

On this day, perhaps we see danger looming. We may despair about a relationship, or worry about a friend or loved one. But if we care, and if we keep the faith, we know that things can change for the better.

Today I will carry the knowledge that a Power greater than ourselves can restore us.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

To experience a feeling is to open a window to our soul.

~ Sarah Desmond ~

Abstinence and recovery offer us the opportunity to really know ourselves. It surprises us, initially, to discover how unfamiliar we are with our feelings and our motivations. Alcohol and other drugs muffled most of what we felt and thought for much of our lives. Now meetings and the Steps are helping us foster an acquaintance with our true self. It’s both fun and a little scary.

We don’t necessarily like every aspect of who we are now. And most of us loathe who we used to be. But having the tools to peel away the layers of denial about the past and having the willingness to face our feelings are paramount to becoming who we’d rather be. What we’re getting to, what’s deep in our soul, is the person God has hoped would emerge all along. Having the chance to know our soul is a profoundly important gift. Let’s gently unwrap it.

I will respect all my feelings today. They tell me important things I need to know about myself.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can take the time I need to recover.

I tend to want things when I want them, and usually that means now. I want to be recovered now. I want to feel whole and healthy now. I am impulsive and impatient.

But my Twelve Step program is teaching me the truer meaning of now: with the help of my higher power I accept where I’m at in my recovery. To me this means I know I can’t just say Be well and then be well. Change is slow and methodical. To recover, I need to take small steps every day. I must work on each problematic symptom, habit, routine, thought pattern, or attitude one at a time and one day at a time.

Following my Step Ten inventory, I will select something I want to change and work on changing it today.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Moderation in all things.

~ Terence ~

During active addiction, our lives went from one extreme to the other. Depending on our level of intoxication, we believed we were all bad or all good; angels or devils. We abused ourselves terribly, then went on frantic health kicks to make up for it. We made friends — and enemies — in an instant. We quit jobs, left spouses, alienated our loved ones, all on the whim of a moment.

But life doesn’t have to be that way. In recovery, we have a chance to learn a moderate, balanced approach to living. With our new healthy mind and body, we can think things through and make decisions based on our long-term good instead of reacting to the feelings of the moment. If we stay up too late one night, we can choose to have an early evening the next. If we’re stressed out, we can choose a few days of quiet and exercise, which will help us recuperate. When we’ve taken on too heavy a load at work, we can find rational ways to rearrange our schedule.

Now we can look to the future and assess our needs based on what we know is good for us. No longer motivated by distorted thinking and impulsive reactions, we can think and plan ahead. Once we took pride in our hell-bent lifestyle. Now we can relax and enjoy the serenity of moderation.

Today help me avoid impulsive decisions and appreciate balance.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Imagine how little good music there would be if, for example, a conductor refused to play Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony on the ground that his audience may have heard it before.

~ A.P. Herbert ~

From time to time you may feel bored with the meetings you attend. You may hear the same stories and slogans. You may interact with the same people. So you may come to the decision that since you are not drinking or using, you have your addiction under control and no longer need to attend meetings.

Rather than step away from meetings, consider ways to give meetings greater meaning. Perhaps you are bored with the stories people tell because you are only half listening. Strive to listen more closely. Maybe you are tired of the same slogans because you have not fully appreciated their meaning. Choose a slogan and break it down, word by word, so you understand its purpose in your recovery. Maybe your disinterest in others is due to your lack of effort in getting to know them better. Engage with them so you can learn more about who they are.

Approach your next meeting with a renewed effort and change your way of thinking. A greater perspective will be your reward.

Today I will truly listen to the stories of others and seek new meaning in the experiences they are sharing with me.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

For it is not physical solitude that actually separates one from other men, not physical isolation, but spiritual isolation.

~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh ~

We’ve discovered that our growth today depends on our mental, physical, and spiritual health. If we picture these as the three legs of a stool, we can see that shortchanging the importance of one or taking one of them away will upset the balance.

We can be at a meeting, for example, yet be unwilling to listen and learn. Or we can bow our heads in prayer at the end of the meeting, yet be unwilling to feel the spiritual strength flowing through the circle of joined hands. By blocking the flow of any aspect of our growth, we are isolating ourselves without even being physically alone.

The remedy to physical isolation is being with others. The remedy to spiritual isolation is opening ourselves to the spirit of life and love that exists everywhere. We can be open to that spirit whether we are alone or with others.

How can I end my spiritual isolation tonight?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Seeking happiness

Happiness is not a goal for us, it is the result of following the Twelve Steps. If we make happiness an object of pursuit, it will only lead us on a wild goose chase. We know this because whenever we sought happiness out of a bottle, needle, or pill, it always eluded us.

When we are following our true purpose, we often find the happiness we never dreamed possible staring us in the face. When we work the Steps, help others, and go to meetings, we can’t help but have happiness presented to us. It is a result.

The sooner we stop seeking happiness for itself, the sooner we realize that it’s the by-product of our new life.

Have I stopped chasing rainbows?

Higher Power, help me see happiness as the result of the way I live.

I will practice the program today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

What loneliness is more lonely than distrust?

~ GEORGE ELIOT ~

Newcomer

When I hear, in Step Three, “turn our will and our lives over to the care of God,” my hackles go up. I want to lead a free, independent life. I don’t want to give up my ability to think and to make my own decisions.

Sponsor

Step Three doesn’t ask us to give up our ability to think or to make choices, but rather to trust in the existence of love and caring. When we were active in our addictions, we tried to care for ourselves with a substance or behavior that may have helped us at first, but eventually failed us. What seemed to feed us, in time starved us. In recovery, we become open to choosing more dependable ways of loving and caring for ourselves. To prepare for Step Three, it’s useful to make a list of some of the many things that support and nurture us each day.

We find love and nourishment in helping and accepting help from other recovering addicts, in the dependability of meetings and program principles, in the people we meet on our path who put more light in our day. Music, exercise, creativity, laughter, meditation, prayer, tuning in to nature’s rhythms, noticing the miracle of our own breathing and our bodies’ capacity to heal—there is food for our spirits everywhere, if we are willing to be fed. In recovery, we come to know ourselves as whole human beings, better able to think for ourselves and make our own decisions, while sensing the loving support of something greater than our separate selves.

Today, I am willing to open myself to the abundance of love and care that recovery offers me.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

In our early days of sobriety, when our minds were still full of cobwebs, when we were unable to concentrate on what was being told us, when we were actually antagonistic to any spiritual help, many thousands of us were held on by the great bond of understanding, sympathy and friendliness of the Group.

We will dwell together in peace and harmony only so long as we are united in our one and only purpose of “carrying the message to other alcoholics.”

We are organized for no other purpose, we have prospered in fulfilling that purpose, and we shall lose our sobriety and die as an organization when we depart from that purpose.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) You need all the help you can give.

2) GUILT: God Understands I Lack Trust

3) Rule 62: Never take yourself too seriously!

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Do It Now

Dear God,

I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good thing, therefore, that I can do, or any kindness I can show to any fellow traveler, let me do it now.

Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

PRAYER AS TREATMENT

Treatment is a psycho-spiritual term that means knowing the spiritual truth about any person or situation.

If, like most people, you believe that appearances are realities and that they cannot be changed, then you cannot give a treatment. But if you believe that the Bible is right when it says,

For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he . . . (Proverbs 23:7).

Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment (John 7:24).

Then it is in your power to change anything for the better and to heal most things.

Begin every treatment (No matter how many you may give) by saying:

I can overcome this difficulty.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

One Link at a Time

It is a mistake to try to look too far ahead. The chain of destiny can only be grasped one link at a time.

~ Winston Churchill ~

Author and Unity minister Eric Butterworth gave a 15-minute radio talk every day for over 30 years, during which he inspired countless millions with illuminating ideas. When someone asked Dr. Butterworth how he was able to come up with a unique address for such a long time, he answered, “I just do one at a time. Sometimes I sit down to write a week’s worth of talks, and the prospect seems overwhelming. Then I remember that I just have to write one. So I write what is most alive within me at that moment, and when I am done, I ask myself what is stimulating to me now. Before I know it, they are all done.”

I have written a dozen books in 15 years. If at the outset someone had told me I would do that, or asked me to take on such a project, there is no way I would have agreed. But each book showed up in its own time, along with the energy and enthusiasm to make it happen. Somehow they add up.

If you feel overwhelmed with projects or responsibilities, ask yourself, “What do I really need to attend to right now?” Then handle the project at hand as if it is the only one. You will have a lot more fun thinking of it in that way, and you will be amazed at how the bowling pins fall one after another if you focus on what can be done in the moment. God never requires anything of us that is beyond our capacity to perform. The secret is to forge the chain one link at a time.

Show me how to live one day at a time. I will do what I can with joy and enthusiasm, and trust You to do what I cannot.

Now is my moment. I do my best and leave the rest to God.

[bluidkiti]

March 12

Step by Step

Today, let me not forget that my character is one of extremes. One drink wasn’t enough, so it became so many to skyrocket me into oblivion. Anger wasn’t expressed in acceptable forms and instead became spontaneous explosions of verbal or physical abuse. Love was obsessive and possessive instead of allowing those I “loved” to be themselves and not what I demanded they be. When I was drunk, I was the best thing to happen to anyone but, the morning after, I was the worst that happened to them – and myself. In apologizing, either I expected not just acceptance but praise for being “big” to apologize in the first place, or I was so self-defeating that I prefaced apologies with, “I wouldn’t blame you if …” Today, when I am faced with responding to anything, let me remember the steps and principles of surrender of self and will to a higher power, of humility, gratitude and selflessness, and of service in reacting with neither expectation of unreasonable returns nor with self-defeatism. Today, I am sober. I am free to be what I am. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

TRUTH

If you don’t tell the truth about yourself, you cannot tell it about other people.

~ Viginia Woolff ~

Truth, like all precious things, can be both given and accepted joyously. But we will give it only after much examination of our motives and the possible effect on the person who receives it. Hastily offered truth can be more harmful than silence.

If truth can motivate either healing or growth in a friend, we can’t hesitate to speak it, even if it makes us uncomfortable. May we also gratefully accept truths about ourselves from others. We will know they are offered as gifts. We shall always try to speak the truth with love. Love and truth complement each other. Love without truth is sentimentality; truth without love is cruelty.

I will be careful when I speak the truth, trying to be helpful and not hurtful to others.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Fear will assault us, but we will not be afraid.

~ Rabbi Harold S. Kushner ~

Worry and concern are among our biggest challenges as we follow our paths. Nothing can finally and completely shield us from the vulnerabilities and unknowns. We may be haunted by experiences from our past when our safety and security were stripped away. In the back of our minds, we carry images of chaotic moments. Now we are seeking something called peace of mind and serenity—but we have to find a way to do that in the face of universal insecurity.

Many of us feel innocent about our controlling behavior because we think we are only trying to make everyone safe and secure. The practice of a good life requires us to learn attitudes and understandings that help us let go of fear when it assaults us. This means that we turn to our spiritual foundation, knowing that we are never alone and that even though we cannot control everything, the forces of a Power greater than ourselves also move in our best interest. We can quiet our minds by cultivating a close relationship with our Higher Power.

Today I will walk my path, knowing that my Higher Power is beside me.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

The subconscious … works to create the reality according to the programming it has been fed.

~ Susan Smith Jones ~

The mind is seldom quiet. Even when we don’t think we are thinking, we are. Our lives reflect our thoughts. It should be obvious that the way to get a better life is to think better thoughts. If it’s that easy, why don’t we have more productive, joy-filled lives?

As youngsters we learned to interpret the faces and the comments of those close to us. That helped us determine how to evaluate ourselves. If we received a glut of criticism when we were young, we may think poorly of ourselves as adults.

Just as the messages we heard in the past told us who we were, the messages we hear now do likewise. But as adults, we can now decide which messages to accept: some we should cherish, many we should discard. We have the maturity now to replace them at will.

I don’t have to accept how anyone defines me today. I can give myself only positive input. My output will reflect it.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

When I “think bad,” I feel bad

I just realized how much I’ve been silently talking to myself. I’m surprised at how negative this self-talk is. I’ve been hearing self-defeating thoughts such as I’m so alone and I’m never going to get well. I can see how these thoughts could keep me down.

Maybe this is what my friend was getting at when he asked me if I was ever too hard on myself.

Maybe he’s got a point. I could try the simple slogan he suggested: Stop! It sounds like it could help me deal better with my negative self-talk.

When I hear any negative self-talk today, I will write it down in my notebook along with a realistic counter thought.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

What we plant in the soil of contemplation we shall reap in the harvest of action.

~ Meister Eckhart ~

We all know someone who always has a new plan of action when it comes to their life work but never seems to do anything about it. Maybe we’ve been this way. In the past we simply didn’t have the tools to make the changes we dreamed about, so we probably didn’t get very far. Now, if we are guilty of more talk than action, it helps to remember that all changes, even good ones, are uncomfortable at first. It’s easier to talk about looking for work than actually pounding the pavement and facing rejection. It’s easier to promise now and act later.

In recovery, though, we’re learning how to “walk the walk” and not just “talk the talk.” We’re learning that reliance upon our Higher Power enables us to take reasonable risks. We’re learning that making mistakes doesn’t mean we are a mistake. And we’re learning to trust our thoughts, our feelings, our instincts. When we are one with ourselves we cannot go wrong. Our Higher Power won’t let us.

Now we can think about things and do them, too.

Today help me act.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

There is no royal road to anything. One thing at a time, all things in succession. That which grows fast withers as rapidly; that which grows slowly endures.

~ Josiah Gilbert Holland ~

In early spring, ripe tomatoes are found in grocery stores. Garden shops have hundreds of flowers in bloom. Such things have been grown in hot houses with controlled temperatures and highly enriched soil.

A tomato that has slowly ripened outdoors in the natural sun and soil is far tastier than one that has been ripened in a factory. The exquisite beauty of flowers is more breathtaking when the result of a normal cycle of growth.

It has often been said that there is no elevator to recovery; you must take the Steps. There is no “twelve and done” process that signals completion. Working through the Steps is something that requires more than one visit to ensure recovery. Even though our world moves at a fast pace—with e-mail, drive-through windows, on-demand movies, and more—your recovery needs to grow and flourish over time. Staying clean and sober is more than just a matter of putting away the bottle and the drugs. It requires daily tending, constant care, and patience.

Today I will slow down my desires and try not to push things too quickly. With care and attentiveness, I will create an enduring recovery.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Most of us spend 59 minutes in an hour living in the past with regret for lost joys, or shame for things badly done . . . or in a future which we either long for or dread.

~ Storm Jameson ~

Do we often travel through life accompanied by the ghosts of our past, present, and future? Instead of focusing on the events in our present journey, we may find ourselves diverted by thoughts of what once was, what we haven’t done, and what we may never do.

As long as we travel this way, we will miss a good part of each minute. We will not learn to use our present time to its utmost: to experience, listen, feel, learn, plan, and grow.

The ghosts of the past, present, and future are crutches we lean on when we’re too weak to use our own resources. We can be strong if we learn to rely on ourselves, our Higher Power, and our companions in life.

How can I live in each minute without thoughts of the past or future?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Believing in abstinence

When we came to the fellowship, some of us weren’t sure that we were “addicts.” We knew we were unhappy. We knew we drank and used drugs too much, but we didn’t know whether we used chemicals too much because we were unhappy or whether we’re unhappy because we used chemicals too much.

It was suggested to us that we try not using drugs along with working the Twelve Steps to see if our lives changed. They did! We have come to believe that there is no problem that taking a drink, fix, or pill will not make worse.

Am I convinced that abstinence is the only way?

Higher Power, help me carry the message that if we simply don’t take a drink, pill, or fix, our lives will change for the better.

Today I will carry the message of abstinence to

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

A beginning, even the smallest, is all that is needed.

~ TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS ~

Newcomer

I don’t have much faith in anything. How can I possibly take Step Three, turn my will and my life over to the care of God—even “God as we understood Him”—when I’m having so much difficulty believing and trusting? Where do you people get your faith? Is it for real?

Sponsor

You’re not alone in thinking you lack faith; many of us entered recovery feeling that way. But, in fact, we do have faith, even if we ourselves can’t see it yet: faith that this program can help us with the problem of our addictions.

Our willingness to try recovery is a significant beginning. By showing up, we’ve begun to take Step Three. Whatever our creed, or our refusal to embrace one, we do have the willingness to try this program. What eventually may come from this beginning is not something we have to worry about. The actions we take today are all we need concern ourselves with. In the present, our willingness to follow the program frees us from having to depend on an addiction.

Today, I begin to act out of faith that this program works.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

The mind of man is unable to approximate the untold millions of dollars that have been spent by us alcoholics in the futile chase after happiness, only to find what we purchased was not happiness but misery, want, illness and despair.

By calling off off the hunt, by quitting our quest for fun that we had always believed hid in the bottom of a bottle, we found happiness. The price of this happiness was only that we give happiness to others and we learned that the more we gave the more we had. We could eat our cake and have it too.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) When you’re down, take a Step and then the Step takes you.

2) Keep an attitude of gratitude.

3) A closed mouth gathers no foot.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

To Change

I pray that I may continue to change, and I appreciate You for investing in me Your time, Your patience, Your understanding; and for seeing in me someone worthwhile. I am sorry for the past—but I will change for the better, and I am grateful for the opportunity.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

CAST THY BURDEN

Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the rightious to be moved (Psalm 55:22).

We sometimes hear the expression used, “cast the burden,” and it is useful to consider what this phrase really means. Used intelligently, it is one of the great keys to spiritual victory. To cast the burden means really to insist upon harmony and peace of mind, and to cease from worry and anxiety there and then.

If, when you are faced with trouble, whether it be old or new, you can affirm positively the harmony of being and then refuse to reopen the case, no matter how much fear may urge you to do so, you have cast your burden upon the Lord, and you will win.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Rocks or Light?

Tour task is not to seek for love, but to find the barriers in yourself that you have built against it.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

The Hawaiian spiritual tradition teaches that every child born into this world is like a “bowl of light” containing the radiance of heaven. If rocks are placed into the bowl, the light of original innocence is hidden. Fear, guilt, and unworthiness are some of the stones that mask our true brilliance. The more rocks in our bowl, the less light we shine. Angry, nasty, or irksome people have lots of rocks in their bowls, while radiant, happy, and joyful people have few.

The game of enlightenment is not about going out and getting something we do not have or becoming something we are not. We are already enlightened; we have simply covered our wisdom. We started out fine; then we got de-fined; now we must be re-fined.

Health, happiness, and success are our birthright, and we carry all we need within us to manifest all the good we seek. But first we must remove everything from our consciousness that works against the full expression of what we are.

What rocks are in your bowl? Begin to note the beliefs and attitudes you hold that stand between you and the light that you are. When you act out of fear or self-doubt, you add more rocks to your bowl. When you let go of one of these impediments, you release your true essence to shine.

Help me to release anything that stands between me and the expression of the light that I am. I claim my identity and inheritance as a being of splendid light.

I am as God created me. I am the light of the world.

[bluidkiti]

March 13

Step by Step

Today, pharmacology claims a vaccine may be pending in the treatment of alcoholism and other addictions. I won’t waste any thought on the myth that I might return to responsible drinking some day. An “addiction vaccine” may, in fact, treat and even stop addiction from developing. But any vaccine treats only physical dependency, and alcoholism is a three-pronged condition that also includes emotional and spiritual ailments. A vaccine, then, will do nothing for the psychology of addictive behaviors like drinking, gambling, over-eating and sexual obsession. Any “cure” that lets me slide by with drinking without the shakes, hangovers and dry heaves is worth nothing if the morning after still greets me with regret, remorse, shame or an appearance before a judge because of a DUI. Alcoholism is a three-edge sword of physical, emotional and mental dependency and, until there’s a vaccine to repair a damaged emotional and spiritual soul, I am never “cured.” Today, because an emotional and spiritual cure can’t be condensed in a syringe, I’ll stick with AA. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

WILLINGNESS

God is not willing to do everything and thus take away our free will and the share of glory which belongs to us.

~ Machiavelli ~

To be willing is to be ready and prepared. If we are willing, we are eager to accept even unfamiliar challenges if those challenges promise rewarding results.

Willingness is not to be confused with being wilful. Wilfulness can return us to our old habits of wanting everything our way and on our own terms. Willingness prepares us to accept responsibilities. It gives us courage to change our attitudes. It rids us of fears of living in an imperfect world.

We have become willing to practice the principles of the Program, willing to continue our spiritual progress, and willing to work at our new way of life.

I can always profit by being strong-willed, as long as that means “strong-willingness,” not hard-headedness.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.

~ Marilyn vos Savant ~

Powerlessness and helplessness are two very different things. When we encounter something we cannot change and we pray to accept its truth, we gain the wisdom of powerlessness. The new reality that follows acceptance may transform us or teach us a new lesson.

Sometimes, however, we encounter something that can be changed, yet the challenge seems overwhelming. It’s natural to feel intimidated when facing a high mountain before us. We feel like running away or pre-tending it isn’t there, or we just want to lie down and give up. When we actually give in to those feelings and hide from the hard task, we choose helplessness, and nothing gets better.

Challenges rise up in everyone’s path. So we look squarely into the eye of the challenge before us today. We get to know its dimensions as well as we can see them. It may seem either daunting or small. We can choose to take one specific action that will move us a little closer to our goal. Just one small action keeps us from the condition of helplessness, of giving up.

Today I will do what I can in this one day, and it will be progress.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I wonder what my life would be like if I were to focus my energy and thoughts only on things that really matter.

~ Robbie Rocheford ~

We spend much of our precious time spinning our wheels. Our minds wander from thought to thought and person to person with no real sense of direction. Fortunately, we can develop the discipline of taking charge of our thoughts. We have merely to pause, quiet our minds, and focus. It’s a technique that we can hone, and practicing it empowers us. It also frees us to spend our precious moments on beneficial ideas or activities.

Our attitude about a task will determine our approach to it. It may seem impossible to be in charge of our thoughts, but that’s because we have never understood that we could responsibly and actively take control. Any negative thought can be stopped, even in midstream. And a replacement thought, such as “God is in charge,” can be substituted. The exhilaration we will feel at realizing the power of this technique is astounding. Our recovery will be enhanced many times over as we grow in our reliance on this tool.

I will pause throughout the day to clear my mind. Taking charge of my thoughts will be enlightening.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can share my mistakes and be OK

It was awhile before I could do a Fifth Step – I was afraid I’d be condemned as a bad person. I didn’t trust anyone enough.

But I’m glad to say that I was wrong. When I finally did my Fifth Step, I was not rejected or judged, as I thought I would be. Instead, my Fifth Step listener understood me – but more important, she accepted me. I felt relief. I felt humble. I felt grateful.

When I go to sleep tonight, I will say a prayer to acknowledge my courage and my faith.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Knowledge is power.

~ Francis Bacon ~

When we were actively addicted, we didn’t know what was wrong with us. We tried to control our addiction over and over again, always failing. When we began to recover, we knew we had to surrender, to admit we were powerless, but we didn’t know how to go on from there, how to live our lives to maintain sobriety.

The next step was listening to people in our Twelve Step groups tell their stories. They told us their secrets, their successes, their failures. They told us how they were changing their lives. We accepted the help and support of a Higher Power. We were becoming spiritual. We read books and pamphlets about addiction and slowly acquired the tools to live without chemicals or compulsive behaviors.

As we become more confident in recovery, we test our powers more each day, learning from each effort how to handle situations in the future.

Early in recovery we knew almost nothing. Over time, we’ve learned how to change our lives from pain and misery to hope and joy and new growth. For us, knowledge is power indeed.

Today help me be open to new ideas and experiences that can further enrich my life.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.

~ Dennis Wholey ~

Some of life’s lessons are hard. Just because you are honest with others does not mean they will be honest with you. Just because you hold the door for someone or let someone go ahead of you in traffic does not mean another will do those same things for you. Just because you make time for a person in need does not mean you will be given similar attention. And just because you have stopped using does not mean your family or a loved one will stop criticizing you.

Expecting others to acknowledge the hard work you are doing in recovery and provide you with praise or support—particularly from those you have harmed in the past—is like waiting at an airport for a cruise ship to arrive.

Expectations are unmet desires. Rather than be sur-prised or disappointed when others do not behave or respond to you in the same way you have treated them, let go of the desire or expectation.

If I feel good about myself, praise and recognition from others is not necessary. If I treat others well and attend to those things I need, I can feel good about myself.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

The secret to not being hurt like this again, I decided, was never depending on anyone, never needing, never loving. It is the last dream of children, to be forever untouched.

~ Audre Lorde ~

How wonderful it would be if we could never be hurt for the rest of our lives! Imagine never again having to experience the physical and emotional pain of death or loss or change. We might think that all would be well for us, once the potential for any hurt is removed.

Yet hurt is part of the cycle of growth and learning. We had to skin our knees in order to finally ride a bi-cycle. We had to miss a longed-for event in order to learn how much it meant to us. We had to grieve over the loss of someone dear to us in order to learn how much love we felt.

There are no assurances that we’ll never be hurt again. We all feel physical and emotional pain at one time or another. What is assured is that we can ease our pain through the faith and trust we have in ourselves and in our Higher Power.

Have I been living in a never-never land today, shutting myself off from people for fear I’ll be hurt?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Changing our ways

We must be willing to grow in understanding. When we were using chemicals we understood everything in one way, a way that caused us pain and misery. When we quit drinking or using other drugs, we began to see things in another way.

This new way of seeing things means we’ve had to make some changes in our way of living, and any new way of thinking means new ways of being. Are we willing to make the changes in our living that correspond with our new ways of thinking?

Am I changing my ways of living?

Higher Power, give me the courage, belief, and willingness I need to allow change to take place in my life.

One way of living that I will change today is

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

It is improper for us to stoop in order to please.

~ JEAN PAUL SARTRE ~

Newcomer

I used to be arrogant about everything. I always had to be right. I constantly feared that people were trying to take advantage of me. Now I listen to others, take suggestions, and try to be helpful. I’m constantly being guided by other people—I guess I’ve turned my will over.

Sponsor

Turning our will and our lives over to the care of another human being may not be such a good idea. Sponsors, therapists, doctors, teachers, people practicing Twelve Step recovery—any of them may give us useful guidance, but they are all human. We can listen to what they have to say, keeping an open mind. But people in recovery don’t automatically get wisdom or sainthood conferred on them. People aren’t perfect, and they couldn’t possibly all know what’s best for us; otherwise they’d all agree.

As we accumulate sober experience, we get better at trusting our own instincts, something that may have been a source of danger when we were active in our addictions. We learn from experience what’s good for us, what nourishes us and brings us peace and joy.

It’s not a spiritually sound practice to turn people, even those we respect and love, into our Higher Power. “Turning it over” includes trusting our inner guidance, acting responsibly, and accepting that we can’t control outcomes.

Today, I look within and trust my truth.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

When God makes a tree it is exactly the species, size and shape He intended it to be. Nothing the tree can do will alter it in the slightest degree.

God, however, in His Wisdom, created man with all perfection, yet allows him to make of himself what he will. He gave us independent minds and wills because He intended that we, the highest form of all living beings, should work out our own mental and moral evolution from mortality to immortality.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Play as if everything depended on God; work as if everything depends on ourselves.

2) You only have to go to meetings until you want to go to meetings.

3) HALO: Helping A Loved One

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Unselfishness Prayer

Higher Power, guide me as I walk the narrow way between being selfish and unselfish. I know I must be selfish, to concentrate on my own recovery, so I do not slip and be of no use to myself or anyone else. Yet I must also be unselfish, reaching out to others, sensitive to their needs, and willing to meet them at any time. With Your help, I can do both, and keep a balance that will give me a proper perspective in my life.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

DIG DEEPER

The study of the Bible is not unlike the search for diamonds in South Africa. At first people found a few diamonds in the yellow clay, and they were delighted with their good fortune, even while they supposed that this was to be the full extent of their find. Then, upon digging deeper, they came upon the blue clay, and to their amazement found as many precious stones in a day as they had previously found in a year.

In your exploration of Bible Truth, see to it that you do not rest satisfied in the yellow clay of a few spiritual discoveries, but press on to the rich blue clay underneath. The Bible, however, differs from the diamond field in the sublime fact that beneath the blue clay there are more and still more richer strata, awaiting the touch of spiritual perception—on and on to Infinity.

O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God!

How unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out! (Romans 11:133).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

The Way Out

Live for another if you wish to live for yourself.

~ Seneca ~

“I just called to let you know how much I love you,” a friendly voice resonated over the telephone.

“Thank you, Cliff—I really appreciate that,” I responded.

“I’ll tell you why I called now,” continued Cliff. “My knee was hurting, and I know the only way I can feel better is to give love.”

Just as it is impossible to whistle and chew crackers at the same time, you cannot give love and be depressed. A Course in Miracles teaches that there are only two emotions, love and fear; at any moment we are experiencing one or the other. The surest antidote to pain, self-pity, loneliness, or depression is to reach out to give love or help someone. Dr. Gerald Jampolsky, author of Love Is Letting Go of Fear, recounts that if he began to feel depressed, he would call someone who was ill or visit a nursing home. I learned the same lesson when teaching. On many occasions I would feel tired, upset, or self-involved when scheduled to teach. If I hadn’t been obligated to be there, I probably would have stayed balled up in my own little world. Going to teach and being present for the students always shifted my attitude. By the end of the class, after giving of myself I would feel 100 percent better, and I would wonder how I could have ever felt so troubled.

Studies have shown that people in nursing homes and rehabilitation centers heal more quickly when they have a pet or plants to care for. The act of giving love is nurturing to the soul.

Should you feel separate, make a list of people to whom you could give love through a phone call, visit, or other act of kindness. Simply making this list will lift you immeasurably, and acting on it will change your life.

I pray to reach out beyond my separateness and discover that my healing is joined with service.

Love heals me as I give it.

[bluidkiti]

March 14

Step by Step

Today, if I need to talk or open up about something that bothers and weighs me down, I will not be held back by my old character defects of fear, uncertainty, anger, self-imposed isolation or the thought that I might come off as “unloading” or “dumping.” The program has taught that recovery is partly about mutual sharing and support, and I can’t expect either if I hide what I know I must give voice to, be it an admission of a wrong done long ago and still requires amend or the dread of saying I have been diagnosed with a potentially serious condition because to say it will make it true. In asking for help, I might not get a solution but I might get release from anxiety, fear, dread, loneliness and all those other traits of my emotional and spiritual disease simply by talking to an empathetic ear that might have some experience, strength and hope to share. Today, I will not be alone. I shall be a part of, not apart. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

BACKING OFF

He has spent all his life letting down baskets into empty wells.

~ Sydney Smith ~

We can always resist an argument where there is obviously no chance of either side solving a problem. Taking time to evaluate the situation will save us possible embarrassment and apologies.

We don’t have to be winners in matters that are unimportant to spiritual progress. We have also learned there is no disgrace in changing directions when one way won’t work.

Of course nobody wins by retreating from a confrontation, but aggressiveness is sure to be useless. Sometimes backing off is winning if nothing if nothing is to b gained by confrontation. We can often avoid another blow to the wounded dignity we brought into our Program.

To void what is impossible to win doesn’t make me a quitter.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

He knows not his own strength that hath not met adversity.

~ Ben Jonson ~

A man who has never had difficult times, lived through the pain of loss, or confronted a big mistake has nothing to fall back on. In getting through our hard times we learn to know ourselves better. We find our strong sides and our weaknesses. And in the end, as difficult as some adversity can be, we have survived—and survival itself is a good thing.

Some of us are in the midst of difficult times today. From this spot we may not be able to see where the road leads next. We are fearful about how things will turn out. In the spiritual life, we accept that we cannot know where this path leads, or even what is around the next bend, but we never have to be alone. Because we will stay true to ourselves and do what is honest and fair, we can take risks to make things better.

Today I will rely on my Higher Power and my friends as my guide through difficult times.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Before I can become a significant other, I must become significant to myself.

~ Kelley Vickstrom ~

Why is it so hard to feel as if we matter? Putting other people’s wishes and needs before our own may seem natural. We may feel shame when we say no. As girls, we may have watched our mothers and grandmothers tending to the whims of everyone else. Probably without ever being told, we simply followed suit. What’s worse, we may not have even expected appreciation for our actions.

Now that we are learning to think of ourselves, we feel a bit selfish. However, we must begin to honor our significance, and we have to understand that to do so is not egotistical. In order to lovingly appreciate others in our lives, to treat them as significant, we have to value our own significance. Our Higher Power considers us significant; it’s time we followed suit.

Affirming my own significance will help me appreciate other people. Today I will value my interactions with others.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can ask myself: How am I doing?

Before I got into recover, I didn’t want to know what I was feeling or thinking. I couldn’t stand to look at my behaviour. I was in denial about my dual disorder.

Now I am abstinent and stable – no longer in denial. And I am learning to take care of myself on a daily basis. I realize that I can no longer afford to avoid my thoughts or actions – I might relapse to my addiction or have a setback with my emotional illness. A regular Tenth Step inventory helps me. It teaches me what to keep doing to help myself. It also teaches me what to stop doing to avoid hurting myself.

Today I will set aside five minutes to answer for myself the question, How am I doing.

©1995 by the author. All rights reserved. Published by Hazelden®

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace.

~ Amelia Earhart ~

When we feel angry, lonely, worried, or sad we can ask ourselves, “Is there a pattern here?” That simple question can help us take a giant step forward in recovery. When we feel these things, most of us feel like victims. We’re not used to taking responsibility for our part in our problems. If we find ourselves broke again, ending a romantic relationship again, having the same argument this year that we had last year, we may have established a self-destructive pattern. Not because we’re stupid but because we aren’t familiar with happiness, and stir up what we know best: misery.

Looking for patterns in our behavior and accepting responsibility for them takes honesty and courage. But when we put aside our fears and really see what we’re doing, we’ve taken a huge step in changing. Happiness may feel downright strange at first, but we can get used to it.

Today help me see the patterns I create, and grant me the courage to change.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

There are always two voices sounding in our ears—the voice of fear and the voice of confidence. One is the clamor of the senses, the other is the whispering of the higher self.

~ Charles B. Newcomb ~

During one Sunday service, a religious leader asked his congregation to pray for something that would make each of their lives better. Then he asked them to share what they had prayed for.

One woman had just lost her job and had no health benefits nor income. She said she had prayed for a new job. A man was concerned about his wife’s serious illness and had prayed for her recovery. A mother shared a prayer for her adult son to give up drinking and become a better father to his children.

One member’s prayer was unique. She had asked for the ability to let go of any fears, doubts, or insecurities she might have and to trust that no matter what happened to her, it was the right thing. Having trust that your life is under the care of the divine oversight of something greater than yourself can free you from worry and assure you that all is well.

I still my fears through prayer. Each day, I pray for the wisdom to be able to live in each moment and to handle whatever comes my way.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.

~ Isaiah 30:15 ~

By lifting and stretching we stimulate our cardiovascular system, firm up muscles, and add to our strength. But how do we build our spiritual power, increase our strength of belief, build firm foundations of faith, and shape our ability to hope?

Increasing physical power takes time, dedication, and work. So does increasing spiritual power. We need to spend more time in prayer and meditation with our Higher Power, building a strong relationship. We need to work hard at relying upon our spiritual guide to help us in times of need.

We need to awaken and exercise our spiritual muscles by taking Step Eleven every day and night. Prayer once a day does little to improve spiritual power, as sure as one deep knee bend each morning does little to improve leg strength. Just as we would set up an exercise program, we need to schedule our spiritual program. At first it will be hard, but through patience and practice, we will become spiritually stronger every day.

Higher Power, I want to lift the weight in my heart. Help me find ways to develop and exercise my spiritual strength.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Making amends

There is no benefit in trying to make amends until we are entirely willing to do it. We must be ready to make our amends without pre-conceived ideas about how the other party will receive them.

The success of the amends Steps does not depend on the acceptance of the other party but merely on our total willingness to admit where we were wrong. There is magic in working the amends Steps, magic we can never believe in until we work them.

Have I made all of my amends?

Higher Power, help me to be willing to ask forgiveness of you and to admit my mistakes to those I have wronged. Please remove my fear of doing so.

Today I will make amends to

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

We should pray as if everything depended upon God, and act as if everything depended upon us.

~ ABRAHAM JOSHUA HESCHEL ~

Newcomer

I hear so much about “letting go.” But there are serious situations going on in my life that I can’t ignore. Am I supposed to assume that things will get better on their own if I just let go?

Sponsor

The phrase “letting go,” as it’s used in the program, doesn’t mean ignoring problematic situations, reneging on commitments, or repressing feelings. On the contrary, recovery makes it possible for us to take the responsible actions we feared and avoided when we were active in our addictions.

“Letting go” challenges our illusion that we’re in control of the universe, but it doesn’t suggest that we do nothing. There’s a difference between acting responsibly and thinking we’re in charge of how things turn out. We’re responsible only for the actions we choose to take, not the outcomes. When we take an action that we know to be right, we change ourselves in the process. The effect on others is out of our hands. We don’t have power to change other people. Nor can we change the past. Letting go means accepting our human limitations. It’s a great relief to know that we’re neither the cause nor the cure for most problems.

Today, I let go and let God.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

It is very noticeable that most of the great religious teachers or prophets prescribed nothing but a code of morals and ethics. All their teachings were characterized by an almost complete lack of formal religious observances.
They have pointed out the direction but never the path. If we follow other men’s paths we fall over the same stones they fell over and we got lost where they got lost. Each of us must carve out his own path and the progress we make will be determined by our own efforts to advance.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Set boundaries: keep boundaries.

2) A slip occurs when the desire to drink is stronger than the desire not to drink.

3) Misery is an option. But acceptance and gratitude did not come as standard equipment either.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Light a Candle

O God of my understanding, light a candle within my heart, that I may see what is therein and remove the wreckage of the past.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

WHAT DID JESUS TEACH?

Jesus Christ is easily the most important figure that has ever appeared in the history of mankind. This is true whether you choose to call him god or man. His life and death and teachings have influenced the course of human history more than those of any other man who ever lived. There can hardly, therefore, be a more important undertaking than to inquire into the question of what Jesus really did stand for.

What did Jesus teach? What did he really wish us to believe and to do? How far does the Christianity of today present his message to the world? What did Jesus teach?

…for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you (Luke 17:21).

This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you (John 15:12).

If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it (John 14:14).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Becoming

I call on your pride. Remember what you’ve done, what you dream of doing, and rise up. Great Heavens, consider yourself with more respect!

~ Gustave Flaubert’s advice to a depressed friend ~

While waiting at a stoplight, I found myself next to a thrift- store truck transporting donated clothing and household goods. On the side of the truck, a huge sign suggested, “If It’s Not Becoming to You, It Should Be Coming to Us.”

Every person and thing in this world has a purpose and a right place. If you are using and enjoying what you have, then bless it. If it is not working for you or if you don’t use it, pass it on—it has more value elsewhere.

I once took a job in a sheltered workshop for mentally handicapped people. While the job offered many valuable lessons and rewards, I was not happy there. For months I guilt-tripped myself for wanting to leave, and rationalized all sorts of reasons why I should stay. Egotistically, I believed I was doing a better job than anyone else could, and if I left, these unfortunate mentally handicapped people would be bereft. I even made up a story in my mind that I had been mentally handicapped in a previous life, and some kind fellow had taken care of me; now I was repaying the karma I owed. Finally, I got sick and realized I would rather leave and take my chances than wither in the position. The moment I gave notice, I felt free, healthy, and alive again. At that point my career as a writer took off, which has blessed me immeasurably. When I later visited the workshop, I saw the fellow who replaced me was doing a far better job than I ever did. Out of guilt, I was stealing his job from him and withholding my right work from myself!

Make a vow to participate in only those career and social situations that are becoming to you; if not, let them “be coming” to someone else.

Give me the strength and wisdom to be in my right place.

I claim my right place and support others to be in their right place.

[bluidkiti]

March 15

Step by Step

Today, attitude may be the second most force in sobriety and recovery – second only to abstinence. But attitude cannot begin and end with taking on mere gratitude. If I am uncertain, even afraid, of life without alcohol, it doesn’t parallel the certainty of life WITH alcohol. If a Fourth Step is a painful revelation, the pain pales to what we endure by continuing to drink. If sobriety is “boring,” we need only ask ourselves if we really want the drama and trauma of the county jail drunk tank, a court sentence, fines and fees, community service, the threat of being fired or the substantial risk of having family and friends walk away. And if sobriety is “lonely,” we need only to go to a meeting or call a sponsor or someone in recovery instead of falling back into the desolation of drinking alone. If we can say the growing pains of sobriety come nowhere near the pains of drinking, if we can be honest and confront the character defects we find in our Fourth, if we can commit to recovery more than abstinence and if we nurture the 12th-step mandate to help others who still hurt, we can say we have an attitude that has grown into a thirst for recovery. Today, I choose an attitude of recovery and, with God’s blessing, every day that follows this one. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SOLITUDE

I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.

~ Thoreau ~

Before the activities of any day begin, we dress our minds as carefully as we dress our bodies. Each day requires both planning and examining if it is to be helpful in our 12 Step progress. We perform such duties in solitude. Otherwise we will be lacking in the ability to cope and get the best from each day.

At the end of the day, silent and alone in thought, we weigh our words and actions of the past hours so we may understand how well we measured up to the hopes and expectations we had at the day’s beginning. That way, we can enrich tomorrow’s plans by the successes or mistakes we uncover.

Daydreams are not worthless if I have hope they can come true and faith that they will materialize. Solitude is my companion when I plan and evaluate.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

My intuition can lead me in the right direction when my will and God’s will are one.

~ Kathy McGraw ~

Sometimes we mistake ego for intuition. Then we wonder why doors don’t open. We may try to force circumstances to meet our expectations. Our chemical dependency led us to behave this way in the past, and this behavior helped to get us here to this program. Today we are striving for times when things do flow smoothly, when doors open at just the right moment, when we experience effortless living—in short, times when our will and God’s are one. But how do we do it?

The key is to slow down and ask ourselves if what we are about to do feels right. Doing God’s will always feel right. By contrast, being driven by our own ego often feels wrong, very wrong. In our using days we were adept at ignoring the feeling that something was wrong. However, our growth through the Steps makes ignoring what is wrong impossible now. That’s good for us. And it’s even better for the people in our lives. Wanting to follow God’s will is the first step to actually following it.

My ego is always ready to jump in where God’s will is needed. Today I’ll slow down each time I’m ready to Jump, and I’ll listen instead to my feelings.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am slowly recovering my self-respect

When I was using chemicals and feeling depressed enough to miss work, I lost interest in most everything. I lost energy and confidence. I often felt guilty, ashamed, and angry.

But since I’ve stopped using chemicals I’m feeling better. I had managed to see a psychiatrist and get both medical and psychological treatment for my mood disorder. I’ve started going to a support group and a Twelve Step group. In general, I’m seeing how others recover from a dual disorder and seeing that I too can change my life little by little, one day at a time.

I will make one change in my day’s activities that will help me feel better about myself.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

I told that little five-year old living inside me how courageous she is and what a great job she did surviving — it was an important turning point in my recovery.

~ Janet P. ~

Since addiction and codependency often run in families, it’s likely we had some unmet needs as children. Some of us had absent or abusive parents. Some of us grew up in poverty. Others grew up in a place that looked and seemed normal on the outside but was very wrong on the inside.

We can’t run from our past or deny what happened. Doing that, we risk repeating the same behavior in our adult relationships. As recovering people, we need to learn how to be our own nurturing parents. We need to love and protect the child who still lives within us. We need to speak to that child with encouragement and acceptance and trust. We’re in charge now, and can give ourselves what we need to help our spirits blossom and grow. We can’t change the past, but now we can change the future.

Today help me replace negative self-talk with words that a kind and loving parent would say to a beloved child.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

The Fox and the Stork

One evening the fox invited his friend the stork to dinner. For a joke the fox prepared soup and served it in a shallow dish. The fox could easily lap up the soup. But the stork, with its long bill, went hungry. The fox gave the stork a sly grin and said, “I am so sorry. It seems as if the soup is not to your liking.”

“There is no need to apologize,” the stork replied. “I would like to repay your hospitality and invite you to dinner tomorrow night.”

The next evening, the stork served the fox a meal in a long-necked jar with a narrow mouth. The stork could easily reach into the jar and eat, but the fox could not and went hungry. “I will not apologize for the dimer,” the stork said, “because one bad turn deserves another.” After that, the fox and the stork were no longer friends.

The moral of the story: Revenge may be sweet, but the damage it does cannot be repaired.

No matter how wronged you may feel by the words or actions of another, remember that revenge, retaliation, and harboring resentment serve no useful purpose.

I will let go of past resentments and consider no one to be my enemy.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Joy enters the room. It settles tentatively on the windowsill, waiting to see whether it will be welcome here.

~ Kim Cherin ~

Is joy a welcome feeling for us, or do we find it hard to express positive feelings? If we grew up in an alcoholic home, we learned early not to trust positive feelings because they usually wouldn’t last long. We may have lived with or were familiar with people who had emotional mood swings, and we learned positive feelings didn’t have a beginning or end.

Is joy welcome in our lives or do we still fear it? Even if we’re still living in an uncomfortable situation, we now have tools to detach ourselves from the behaviors of others. We now have a concept of a greater Power. If we trust the tools and the Power, we can relax and let positive feelings into our lives.

There can be laughter now, perhaps even from us. There are smiles we can respond to and we can initiate some. There are peaceful, loving moments we can experience with others. There can be much joy in our lives, if we can only begin to let it in.

There is joy to feel, if I let myself. What can I feel joyful about in my life tonight?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Living honestly

We can live ourselves into being new people as we act honestly in each situation, one by one. Each day, honestly lived to the depth of our ability, will result in new experiences, richer and fuller than the day before.

Unless we live our honesty, we are destined to stay in our old ruts. Being honest with ourselves and others creates many new opportunities for us.

Do I practice honesty in all of my affairs?

God, grant me the humility to be honest with others today and the light to be honest with myself.

I will cultivate self-honesty today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

I am years gone from my family, and miles away.

~ JERROLD MUNDIS ~

Newcomer

I keep hearing that recovery is a bridge back to life, but I don’t think that I’ll ever have a decent relationship with my family. I called a family member on the phone last night and said that I was in recovery. I got such a skeptical response. It’s always the same story: no matter what I do, I can’t please these people.

Sponsor

It takes time to build a feeling of centeredness and self- worth. In the early days of my recovery, my sense of self was easily shattered by a word or look that confirmed my old belief that I didn’t deserve much. I had to practice “Easy does it,” especially with family members. I decided to keep family interactions light, for the time being. I made program calls just before and just after any call I made to my family. In time, I had enough self-esteem to face emotionally charged situations without threatening my recovery.

We have the responsibility to protect our new recovery by keeping some distance between ourselves and the people, places, and things that we drank or drugged or acted out over. And we have the opportunity to build self-esteem by participating in meetings. We can start simply: show up, help make coffee, set up chairs, empty ashtrays. We can listen, raise our hands to share, thank the speaker, say hello to another newcomer. Giving service, no matter how small the action, builds feelings of usefulness and self-respect.

Today, my thoughts and energy go into self-esteem, not self-rejection. I show up for my life. I deserve to surround myself with the love that is in the program.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

How many times have we postponed that call to the guy we sense needed us? We felt that he didn’t phone us just to “shoot the breeze.” True, he didn’t come right out and call for help, and we did have something else to do. We decided we would take care of it tomorrow and then found out that tomorrow was too late.

Today is truly the only day we have; what we can do, what we should do – we must do today.

The map of the United States is different today because Longstreet was one day late arriving at Gettysburg.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Be grateful you have been given two ears and only one mouth.

2) Refuse to attack yourself.

3) Always remember we are being taken care of.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

What Is Best

O Lord, You know what is best for me. Let this or that be done, as you please. Give what You will, how much You will, and when You will.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

JESUS’ TEACHING

Jesus explains what the nature of God is, and what your own nature is; tells us the meaning of life and of death; shows us why we make mistakes; why we yield to temptation; why we become sick, and impoverished, and old; and, most important of all, he tells us how all these evils may be overcome, and how we may bring fulfillment into our lives, and into the lives of others.

Jesus warns us, not once but often, that obstinacy in sin can bring very severe punishment, and that a man who parts with the integrity of his soul—even though he gain the whole world—is a tragic fool. but he teaches that we are only punished for—and actually punished by—our own mistakes; and he teaches that every man or woman, no matter how steeped in evil and uncleanness, has always direct access to an all-loving, all-powerful Father-God, who will forgive him, and supply His own strength to him to enable him to find himself again.

If ye know that he is righteous, ye know that every one that doeth righteousness is born of him (1 John 2:29).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Dolphins Await

Dismiss whatever insults your soul.

~ Walt Whitman ~

One night at a Hawaiian retreat, I had a vivid dream of swimming with dolphins. The next morning I attended a business meeting that I found boring and purposeless. Although I sat and tried to be present, all I could think about was going to the beach. When I recognized I was useless at the meeting, I politely excused myself and made a beeline for the beach. Soon after I arrived, a huge pod of dolphins surfaced in the bay, and I swam out to play with them. For a long time I was surrounded by their delightful presence, and I was thrilled to frolic with them. I was able to look into their eyes, which was like peering into a warm eternity. Was I ever glad I left the meeting!

If your spirit is not present where you are, and you feel intuitively called elsewhere, you must hearken to your inner voice. I am not encouraging you to be irresponsible and run away from things you need to do. I am encouraging you to be responsive to your spirit. It is not responsible to engage in activities that affront your soul.

Years ago I sat in a group with my teacher Hilda, watching a video of an old musical. I was tired and wanted to leave, but I felt socially obliged to stay. So I sat there and silently fumed; my body was present, but I was elsewhere. The next day when | told Hilda about my experience, she commented, “So you were the one who was fogging the atmosphere. I felt a disturbance somewhere in the group. You should have gotten up and gone when you wanted to. That would have been a greater service to yourself and everyone.”

Honor your soul by being where you belong.

Help me to be attuned to the call of my soul. Give me the courage to honor my intuition.

Spirit speaks to me through my heart, and I answer through my deeds.