Today's Thought - July

[bluidkiti]

July 1

Giving with no strings attached is true giving.

The disease of addiction is reflected in myriad ways. As we’ve learned, the entire family is affected. We have sought recovery because our behavior causes us problems too. Getting well might be even more difficult for us than for alcoholics or other addicts. Their first step is to give up alcohol or other drugs; ours is to stop most of the behaviors we’ve perfected over the years, behaviors we developed to control and manipulate others.

Giving is one such behavior. Of itself, giving is a very worthy characteristic. However, most of us have used giving as a not so subtle way to control. Too often it worked, at least in the short run, and giving became a tool to get what we wanted. Recovery can help us practice true giving. We might not get from others what we’d like, but we will feel rewarded just the same. Giving up manipulation gives us back our self-worth.

I will check my motives before giving anything today. If I hope to get something in return, I’ll begin again.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own, Meditations on Hope and Acceptance

[bluidkiti]

July 2

Our “small-self” ego mind is designed to create and achieve goals, a function necessary for survival and life enhancement. It is the ultimate event planner.

The ego is the metal between the hammer of life experience and the anvil of our essential nature. Because it is programmed for survival, it tenaciously holds on to self-serving behaviors and does not easily give up old patterns, even those we must shift in order to heal. We know how this aspect of ourselves—with its pride, stubbornness, and independence—contributed to our resistance to getting help, even when we were hitting bottom.

Our minds are also capable of perceiving the oneness thread that connects us to all of life. Most of us have had moments where we felt joined with everyone and everything—a temporary suspension of our ego mind along the ego-to-oneness continuum. Both are necessary; the ego keeps us rooted in our ordinary life and is important to survival, yet those instances of being one with the cosmos are transformative. When we experience this connectedness, we feel a tender opening toward all that is, filled with a depth of kindness beyond ordinary reality.

Instances when I feel at one with all of life are healing and filled with lovingkindness.

Today's reading is from the book Cornerstones, Daily Meditations for the Journey into Manhood and Recovery

[bluidkiti]

July 3

Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.

~Step Seven of Al-Anon

In the Sixth and Seventh Steps of the program, we become willing to let go of our defects of character—issues, behaviors, old feelings, unresolved grief, and beliefs that are blocking us from the joy that is ours. Then we ask God to take them from us.

Isn’t that simple? We don’t have to contort ourselves to make ourselves change. We don’t have to force change. For once, we don’t have to “do it ourselves.” All we have to do is strive for an attitude of willingness and humility. All we have to do is ask God for what we want and need, and then trust God to do for us that which we cannot do and do not have to do for ourselves.

We do not have to watch with bated breath for how and when we shall change. This is not a self-help program. In this miraculous and effective program that has brought about recovery and change for millions, we become changed by working the Steps.

Today, God, help me surrender to recovery and to the process by which I become changed. Help me focus on the Step I need. Help me do my part, relax, and allow the rest to happen.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go, Daily Meditations on Codependency

[bluidkiti]

July 4

Reflection for the Day

I am free to be, to do, to accept, to reject. I am free to be the wise, loving, kind, and patient person I want to be. I’m free to do that which I consider wise—that which will in no way harm or hinder another person. I’m free to do that which will lead me into paths of peace and satisfaction. I’m free to decide for or against, to say no and to say yes. I’m free to live life in a productive way and to contribute what I have to give to life. Am I coming to believe that I’m free to be the best self I’m able to be?
Today I Pray

Let the freedom I am now experiencing continue to flow through my life into productiveness, into the conviction of life’s goodness I have always wanted to share. May I accept this freedom with my Higher Power’s blessing—and use it wisely.
Today I Will Remember

Let freedom ring true.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time, Daily Reflections for Recovering People

[bluidkiti]

July 5

Thou hast only to follow the wall far enough and there will be a door in it.

~Marguerite de Angeli

Sometimes we are stumped. We want to do the right thing, but we just don’t know what it is. It seems like there is an invisible wall in front of us, blocking our vision and holding us back.

If we keep praying and listening, we begin to see the shape of the wall in front of us, and we can explore that wall. Sooner or later, we find a way to a door that leads to the other side.

It’s a funny thing, but we seem to always find that door at just the right time—in our Higher Power’s time. Once we get used to this happening in our recovery, we understand that our Higher Power uses these walls to guide us sometimes. They are okay. We asked for guidance, and now we are getting it. We learn to welcome the walls and to welcome the doors through them.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me learn to appreciate the walls as well as the doors. The walls keep me safe until it’s the right time to go through.
Today's Action

Was there a time when I stood face-to-face with a wall I could not get through? What happened? Today I will write three lessons I learned from that experience.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me, More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple

[bluidkiti]

July 6

Anonymity represents to most people a liberating even more than a threatening phenomenon.

~Harvey Cox

When we join a group for addicts, we make a promise to respect the confidentiality of each and every member. We call one another by our first names, and we don’t gossip about the social lives of our brothers and sisters in recovery.

Our groups act anonymously. We have no leaders, no spokespersons, no political affiliations. We meet and act on the basis of all for one and one for all.

When we talk in our groups, we can let go of our social identity and reveal the real human being beneath. Each of us is a unique person, but we share the sickness of addiction that goes beyond the individual and links us to one another in our common suffering. Even though we may not know one another on a social level, we understand and sympathize and love one another as women and men journeying together on the road to recovery. I come to know you and you come to know me in a way that few, if any, other people know us. Anonymity allows us to be intensely personal and yet secure and unafraid.

I am glad that I can let go in the anonymous haven of our group meetings.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart, Daily Meditations for Men and Women Recovering from Sex Addiction

[bluidkiti]

July 7

Spirituality is the ability to get our minds off ourselves.

~Anonymous

The early days of recovery were a strange time for us. We were used to a very different lifestyle. There were so many new things coming into our lives all at once. Everything was whirling. We stuck close to our sponsor and home group. We needed a touchstone to make sense out of what was happening.

The early days of recovery were times of physical healing. We knew we were sick. Some of us didn’t realize how sick we were. We went slow and kept our eyes, our minds, and our hearts focused on our First Step.

We didn’t find instant spirituality in those days. That was okay. There would be time enough for that; first, we had to get started. After time on the program, after we had worked some Steps, we were asked to get our minds off ourselves. This was the time when we started making progress with our spiritual lives.

I have learned that spirituality is the ability to get my mind off myself.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It, A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations

[bluidkiti]

July 8

The first step on the way to victory is to recognize the enemy.

~Corrie ten Boom

On the spiritual pathway, we often ambush ourselves. We can be our own worst enemy. Or, as some in our program are fond of saying, “Our head is out to get us.” The unchecked ego is humankind’s only natural enemy, and the only one we need worry about. It is a great hindrance to spiritual progress.

Our ego is the accumulation of all our beliefs, beginning with those we formed in childhood, and it gives off confusing signals. It makes us afraid of failure, but it can also make us afraid of success. It makes us feel all-knowing at times, and then utterly stupid. Its definitions depend on the circumstance; its rules constantly change. But God’s rules never change because they’re based on love for one another.

I will listen closely to distinguish the voice of God from the voice of my ego.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care, Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery

[bluidkiti]

July 9

Spiritual power can be seen in a person's reverence for life—hers and all others, including animals and nature, with a recognition of a universal life force referred to by many as God.

~Virginia Satir

Taking the time, daily, to recognize the spiritual force in everyone and everything that is all about us encourages us to feel humble, to feel awe. Reflecting on our inter* connections, our need for one and all to complete the universe, lessens whatever adversity we might feel as we struggle with our humanity.

Our spiritual power is enhanced with each blessing we give. And as our spiritual power is enhanced, life's trials are fewer. Our struggle to accept situations, conditions, and other people, or our struggle to control them, lessens every day that we recognize and revere one another's personhood, one another's existence.

I can teach myself reverence, and I can begin today. I will look for "the Spirit" everywhere, and l will begin to see it.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning, Daily meditations for Women

[bluidkiti]

July 10

The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.

~Albert Einstein

Many of us stubbornly hold on to our long-established, preferred ways of looking at things. We don’t think we are stubborn, only that we rely on what worked for us in the past. Perhaps as young guys, we coped with stress by keeping our thoughts to ourselves, or we figured out that we wouldn’t get hurt if we didn’t trust anyone. All the patterns that we developed as youngsters were our best attempts at the time to deal with our lives. The greater the stress we felt, the harder won were our coping responses, and the stronger our attachment to them.

Our best answers from boyhood may not fit our lifetimes as men. Holding too dearly to childhood solutions freezes us in immature and weaker levels of growth. What was charming and harmless behavior in a child can be manipulating and dishonest in a man. Thus, we create new problems. We need to let ourselves become more vulnerable—to give up the security of our old ways and open ourselves to the messages coming from our friends, our program, and our experiences.

Today, I will be open to insecurity and create the possibility of growing stronger.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones, More Daily Meditations for Men

[bluidkiti]

July 11

AA Thought for the Day

In Twelfth-Step work, the second part is confession. By frankly sharing with prospects, we get them talking about their own experiences. They will open up and confess things to us that they haven’t been able to tell other people. And they feel better when this confession has been made. It’s a great load off their minds to get these things out into the open. It’s the things that are kept hidden that weigh on the mind. They feel a sense of release and freedom when they have opened up their hearts to us. Do I care enough about other alcoholics to help them make a confession?
Meditation for the Day

I should help others all I can. Every troubled soul that God puts in my path is the one for me to help. As I sincerely try to help, a supply of strength will flow into me from God. My circle of helpfulness will widen more and more. God hands out the spiritual food to me and I pass it on to others. I must never say that I have only enough strength for my own need. The more I give away, the more I will keep. That which I keep to myself, I will lose in the end.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may have a sincere willingness to give. I pray that I may not hold back the strength I have received for myself alone.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day, A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life

[bluidkiti]

July 12

When you feel rejected, start accepting yourself, and then go out and accept someone.

~Sondra Ray

There was once a mother who felt rejected when her children grew up and needed to separate from her. She felt hurt when they pushed her away and no longer wanted all the love and caring that she wanted to give them. She thought, What's wrong with me?

Encouraged by her friends, she began to ask herself another question: What's right with me? The more answers she found to that question, the better she liked herself. The better she liked herself, the more she was able to see her children's need to separate from her as their own natural and healthy urge for independence, and not the result of her shortcomings.

Our good points may seem undesirable to others, but that's not our fault. Sometimes, too much of a good thing can be inappropriate, but that doesn't make it bad.

What's right with me today?

[bluidkiti]

July 13

Most of the evils of life arise from man’s being unable to sit still in a room.

~Blaise Pascal

Our program teaches us to slow down. We learn to slow down by taking time out. During these time-outs, we look at our values and see if we’re staying true to them.

Because of that, meditation is an important part of our program. It asks us to take a bit of time to let ourselves not be rushed. We get to just look inside and connect with what we need. Focusing on our breathing and noticing how that breath flows through us is one way to stop and connect. Feeling the discomfort of stopping when we want to rush and unpacking that is another way to connect. In all of this we are able to slow down, be present, and follow our Higher Power’s plan.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, I pray for patience. In this patience, allow me to realign with my values and be entirely present.
Action for the Day

Today I’ll list three times when rushing has gotten me in trouble. How has my inability to pause led to a problem? I will take a moment today to take a break.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple, Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal

[bluidkiti]

July 14

Many things are lost for want of asking.

~English proverb

It’s a principle of this program that we grow, in part, by learning to ask for what we need. Perhaps today we are struggling with a problem that could be eased if we talked to another man in the program. We could call him on the phone and just ask him if he has a few minutes to talk. Maybe we’re wondering about a physical pain. Maybe we feel strange about something we said and would like to ask someone’s opinion.

Mistaken notions about masculinity get in the way of recovery when we refuse to ask for help. We think we should know the answers and be self-sufficient. Maybe we feel stupid if we have to ask. Those notions drop by the wayside as we get healthier and learn the rewards of connecting with others to satisfy our mutual needs. No longer does false pride have to keep us isolated and struggling alone.

Today, I will notice what I need and practice asking for help.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones, A Book of Daily Meditations for Men

[bluidkiti]

July 15

Taking just one

It’s that first fix, pill, or drink that gets us high. It’s not the second or third or fourth one, or the second day or the second week of using that gets us into trouble. It is the first one. And until we understand this concept, we will keep trying—without success—to gain control over our drug use.

For us, control no longer exists. And it never will. When we start thinking, Well, just one won’t hurt me, we are on our way back to that same pain and discouragement of a drug-filled life.

Do I believe that even one is too many?

Higher Power, please help me remember that I can never regain control over my drug use.

I will avoid taking that first drink or drug today by…

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day, Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts