Today's Thought - April

[bluidkiti]

April 1

I shall tell you a great secret, my friend. Do not wait for the last judgment. It takes place every day.
--Albert Camus

We live our program in one day portions - and our actions today have immediate consequences. For instance, if we listen to a brother or a sister in the program, we may be enriched and the other person strengthened for today's challenge. We don't have to confront every temptation of life on this day - only the portion we can handle. Our old insanity would have us predict the entire story of our future from today's limited viewpoint. But our spiritual orientation guides us to restrain ourselves. We simply live in this moment.

The rewards of recovery are granted every day. We begin with the gift of a new day and new possibilities. We now have relationships that sustain us through difficulty and give us reason to celebrate. We have a new feeling of self respect and hope.

I am grateful for the rewards of each day in my spiritual awakening.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

[bluidkiti]

April 2

The Fox and the Cat

One day a fox and a cat were discussing the methods they used to avoid their enemies. "I have many clever ways to escape," bragged the fox. "I only have one," replied the cat.

Just then they heard a pack of hounds headed their way. The cat immediately scampered up a nearby tree. But the fox froze. He thought about digging a hole. He considered that he could jump into a pond and swim to safety. He figured that he was so quick on his feet that he could create a very confusing trail for the hounds to follow. As the fox continued his internal debate, he remained immobilized. So the hounds easily caught him.

The Moral of the story: Better to have one safe way than a hundred unproven ones.

How many times in the past did you strive to convince yourself that you did not have a problem? And yet no amount of excuses saved you from your problem. The program is your only safe way to escape from the ravages caused by addiction.

Today I will be like the cat, which used one sure way to ensure safety.

You are reading from the book:

Morning Light by Amy E. Dean

[bluidkiti]

April 3

When angry, count to ten before you speak; if very angry, a hundred.
--Thomas Jefferson

Sometimes we just want to yell. Maybe a family member or a friend messed up, and we want to "set them straight." Start counting. Maybe we got chewed out at work and we want "to get even." Start counting.

We can get drunk on anger. We may feel powerful when we "set someone straight." But like an alcohol high, an anger high lasts only a short time and can hurt others. We must control our anger. This is why we count. Cool down. Think out what you need or want to say. Use words that you'll not be ashamed of later. Learning how to respect others when we're angry is a sign of recovery.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, teach me to respect others when I'm angry.

Action for the Day

Today, when I feel angry I'll count. I'll work at not controlling others with my anger.

You are reading from the book:

Keep It Simple by Anonymous

[bluidkiti]

April 4

An Unfolding Story

Our lives are like a story told one day at a time. Some of our story has been revealed; much remains. Yet life is not like a book in which you can skip ahead; life unfolds one day at a time.

Though it may be hard right now, let's not wish any of it away but live each day fully. We are the only ones who can write our story.

Am I fully present in my life today?

Thought for the Day

Change is not visible on a daily basis but may be revealed when I am not looking.



You are reading from the book:

A Restful Mind by Mark Allen Zabawa

[bluidkiti]

April 5

See who you are. Own who you are. Be who you are. Don't apologize.
-- Jerry K.

At some point in our recovery, we need to admit to ourselves and others who we really are. Looking inside and pondering our shortcomings is not the most comfortable thing the program has asked us to do. In the past it's been more comfortable to deny them, to look the other way, to sweep the human error element under the rug.

But the rewards are great. Once we own our shortcomings, once we tell them out loud to another person, we have taken full responsibility for ourselves - who we are, what we are - and how we have acted.

Now we are closer to our Higher Power, who has accepted us all along. Now we can return to the spiritual support that is always available. When we admit who we are to ourselves and others, we are given the gift of self-acceptance and a sense of belonging to the human race.

By opening ourselves this way, we enrich our relationships with our Higher Power, ourselves, and our fellow humans. These relationships bring a new sense of belonging and meaning to our lives.

Today help me tell myself, my Higher Power, and at least one other person who I really am.

You are reading from the book:

Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous

[bluidkiti]

April 6

Life is not life at all without delight.
-- Coventry Patmore

Newcomer

I'm tired of following the same routines week after week, month after month. I've been thinking about taking a trip for a few days. I know, I know, you warned me about geographic changes. But I want to do something different.

Sponsor

Congratulations, I'm glad that you're planning to have some fun, and that you're not using program wisdom to beat yourself with.

Change is good for us. It can help wake up and refresh our spirits, show us things we haven't seen before, give us a new perspective on our ordinary lives. We can travel thousands of miles or stay close to home, as long as we take the principles and habits of recovery with us. Wherever we are, we can read a piece of program literature, pray for help staying in recovery, or phone our sponsors. The loving guidance of our Higher Power goes with us.

As we travel, it may be possible to attend meetings of our own Twelve Step fellowship or an open meeting of one of the many other Twelve Step programs. We can get listings ahead of time by making phone calls to our own program headquarters, and we can check local newspapers and phone directories when we arrive. Belonging to this fellowship is a little bit like having a membership in an international club; we can meet the locals, wherever we go, by attending a meeting. The faces may be different, but the program is the same.

Today, I refresh my spirit by trying something unfamiliar.

You are reading from the book:

If You Want What We Have by Joan Larkin

[bluidkiti]

April 7

When all is said and done, willingness is everything.
--Frank D.

Most of us know very well that recovery doesn't happen, nor is there any positive growth, unless we are first of all willing.

Sometimes we get confused over the difference between willing and wanting. We don't have to want, let alone enjoy, doing what needs to be done. Not wanting to do something is altogether different from not being willing to do it. As one recovering woman said, "Everything I ever let go of had claw marks all over it." The bottom line is that she did let go no matter how badly she wanted to hang on; she was willing.

Think of the people in the program we most admire, those whose progress seems so speedy compared to ours. They may very well not enjoy going out to meetings. They may find it uncomfortable to meet with their sponsors or to say kind words when they really want to complain. They may wish they didn't have to make amends to certain people. But druthers aren't the point. The point is that they are willing to do what it takes.

Today, I ask God to help me deepen my willingness to grow and to see the difference between what I want and what I will.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

[bluidkiti]

April 8

Surviving meant being born over and over.
--Erica Jong

We have decided to live. And each day we make the decision anew. Each time we call a friend, work a Step, or go to a meeting, we are renewing our contract with life. We are being reborn. Before coming to this program we died, emotionally and spiritually, many times. Some of us nearly died physically. But here we are, starting a new day, looking for guidance from one another. We are the survivors. And survival is there for the taking.

We will have days when we struggle with our decision to live. We will want to throw in the towel. We will want to give in or give up. But we've learned from one another about choices. And the choice to survive, knowing we never have to do it alone, gets easier with time.

I am one of the survivors. Today is my day for celebration.

You are reading from the book:

Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey

[bluidkiti]

April 9

We need to listen to one another.
--Chaim Potok

Listening is an important skill to cultivate. We need to sit in our healing circles and lovingly listen and learn from each other. We are each other's teachers. Our sponsors listen to our troubles, and we listen to their suggestions. We pray to our Higher Power and then meditate, a form of listening, from which we develop conscious contact with our Higher Power.

Listening is one of the gifts we give to each other. Listening is also one of the gifts we give to ourselves. As we listen to others and learn from them, we stop thinking we are the center of the universe. Listening to others - to truly hear what they say, to learn from them - helps keep our egos in check. We should frequently ask ourselves, "Am I practicing the skills of active listening?"

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, today I pray that I may open myself up to hearing Your voice in the words of others. Allow me to see the people around me as teachers. Help me stay open to being taught.

Today's Action

Today I will listen. I will notice those times when I stop listening and start judging. I will bring myself back into listening mode. Today I will be a learner.

You are reading from the book:

God Grant Me... by Anonymous

[bluidkiti]

April 10

Daily, we determine our priorities.

Priorities are not merely something we establish once a year, once a month, or even once a week. Our priorities are visible in the myriad decisions we make and actions we take each day.

Being closely in touch with our inner selves and our Higher Power helps assure that our priorities reflect our genuine needs and desires. When we are securely centered, we will not be unduly influenced by other people but will know what is truly important to us and necessary for our health and well being.

We set our priorities when we do our grocery shopping and plan our meals. We set them when we choose between playing tennis or reading a book or going to see a friend. We set them when we decide how to respond to a negative comment from a co-worker. Our daily priorities reflect who we are and determine what we are becoming. Let's set them with care.

Today, may I put first things first.

You are reading from the book:

Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

[bluidkiti]

April 11

It is the soul's duty to be loyal to its own desires.
--Rebecca West

Our soul's pure desires, those that harm no one else, are really invitations from God for us to try new activities, to perhaps move along unfamiliar corridors, or tackle challenges that will carry us closer to our destiny. Fulfilling our desires can expand our knowledge of life, but even more, it can strengthen our trust in our Higher Power.

Perhaps our primary goal is to trust more in our Higher Power's presence, loving guidance, and commitment to our growth. Our Higher Power is our most treasured friend and teacher, our most significant other. We'll never be led astray with the guidance offered us for fulfilling our purest desires.

I will ask God for direction and attune myself to my innermost desires today.

You are reading from the book:

52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie

[bluidkiti]

April 12

Reflection for the Day

The first psychiatrist to recognize the work of Alcoholics Anonymous, Dr. Harry Tiebout, used many concepts of the Program in his own practice. Over many years, the doctor's study of the "conversion experience" led him to see, first, that it is the act of surrender which initiates the switch from negative to positive; second, that the positive phase is really a state of surrender which follows the act of surrender; and third, that the state of surrender, if maintained, supplies an emotional tone to all thinking and feeling that insures healthy adjustment. Am I living in a constant state of surrender?

Today I Pray

May I understand that I do not have to "unlearn" my respect for "self-reliance," that trait of character, which I heard praised so often from the time I was a tiny child. Only my understanding of the word must change. For as I come to know that "self" is part of God, that I am nothing except in God's Being, there is no quarrel between self-reliance and God-reliance. May I rely upon that self, which is God's.

Today I Will Remember

Not part-god, but part of God.

You are reading from the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

[bluidkiti]

April 13

The world is a wheel always turning. Those who are high go down low, and those who've been low go up higher.
--Anzia Yezierska

Everything changes. Nothing stays the same. And letting go of the way things are, anticipating instead what they might become, frees us to live each moment more fully.

Time marches on, and our destiny marches with it. There is purpose in how our lives unfold; the ups and downs serve our growth. We must neither resent the doldrums nor savor too long the elation. Giving too much attention to either state interferes with our awareness of the present. And the present has come to teach us.

We must move with time. We must focus our attention on the moment and accept whatever feelings each experience elicits. Emotional maturity is accepting our feelings and letting them go and facing instead the next moment with fresh receptivity. Our lessons are many, and they accompany the lows as well as the highs. We can be grateful for both.

The program has taught us freedom from lingering lows. It has given us the tools to move confidently forward, trusting that all is well. Nothing lasts forever, and within each struggle is the opportunity for real growth.

The highs will pass away, just as will the lows. They visit us purposefully. I will give them their freedom and find mine as well.

You are reading from the book:

Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey

[bluidkiti]

April 14

Self-esteem comes from honoring your healing journey

My life is not perfect. I make a lot of mistakes. Sometimes, I stumble and fall. I am a work in progress. And when I remember that simple fact, I am better for the experience.

It's easy to start on a path of change and get so busy doing what we need to do that we forget to stop, breathe, and acknowledge the effort we've already made. We forget to honor our own healing journey.

There are times when I have to be reminded to do for myself what I do for others. The other day, a friend caught me denigrating the work I put into a project because it wasn't done perfectly. When she asked how it was coming along, I said, "I can't seem to get it down perfectly. It's horrible." I then spent ten minutes - which was as long as she could tolerate my ranting - downplaying the work I had put into the project so far. She couldn't believe she was listening to me. "You could be one of your own clients," she said. And how right she was. I needed to be coached at that moment in time. And after our conversation, I called my coach.

Healing is hard work. It takes great effort to stay on a path that leads to purposeful self-discovery. It takes energy - persistent energy - to be an active participant in the creation of our lives. A healing path requires having the courage to shine a light or allow a light to shine on parts of ourselves that we'd rather keep private. It means having the courage to see the work that still needs to be done. Honoring our healing journey invites us to appreciate the effort that has been made.

It's important to heal and to honor the work done.

You are reading from the book:

52 Weeks of Esteemable Acts by Francine Ward

[bluidkiti]

April 15

Reflection for the Day

If I am troubled, worried, exasperated or frustrated, do I tend to rationalize the situation and lay the blame on someone else? When I am in such a state, is my conversation punctuated with, "He did." "She said." "They did."? Or can I honestly admit that perhaps I'm at fault. My peace of mind depends on overcoming my negative attitudes and tendency toward rationalization. Will I try, day by day, to be rigorously honest with myself?

Today I Pray

May I catch myself as I talk in the third person, "He did..." or "They promised..." or "She said she would..." and listen for the blaming that has become such a pattern for me and preserves delusion. May I do a turnabout and face myself instead.

Today I Will Remember

Honesty is the only policy.

You are reading from the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous