schell's journey for today

[schell81208]

Hi everyone...trying to get a checkin thread started ! Hopefully this time it works! Good to be back with the old timers and welcome to all the new names I see here! Glad to have you with us. Just had two terriffic meetings in a row, my Woman's home group last night and a Daily Reflections tonight. What I have really noticed in truly listening to the newcomers at our meetings is seeing me in them...what it was like coming in, admitting powerlessness over substances, and just realizing that for that day , I was in a meeting sober with other alcoholics...where I am at in today is a place of what I have been calling sober behavior...I feel a wrench in my gut when something is not right...I know the difference today in how I treat others and their reaction to my behavior....this is a new spot for me...today the reading was on amends, I have a direct one to make currently, but it is more a relalization that I was in the wrong and that sense inside me that makes me sick over my behavior in that situation...not sober behavior..I am not that person anymore...but I will be if I let this stuff build up...it just gets easier and easier...the way I change is to make amends and truly change the way I am living in today....Peace to you all , Schell

[yukonm]

Hi Schel,
It's great to hear from you!!

[captpaulge]

Hello Schell. Good to hear from you. Headed overseas today for the winter. Talk to you from there. Capt Paul

[dwmoeller]

Hi Schell, It's good to hear from you again.

[MajestyJo]

Good to have you back.

[schell81208]

Hi to all! My computer went all goofy with something doing something to my programs....i tried to work through it , then got frustrated and shut everything down! I left it alone for two days....maybe it needed a long nap...anyway things seem to be better in the past few days ...Thanks for the hellos and Capt definitely keep contact from Liberia? If I remember right....I just want to share my gratitude to you all, for the fallish type day, brilliant sunshine, and that even my psychiatrist , appt yesterday said I seem to be more "together" , that there is something different than when we had our last meeting...I said I don't see it so thank you.. he actually said he thinks we can go 6 months between appts now...i told him I am no longer afraid to call him and ask for help when the mania gets out of control ...that I don't seem to be living in fear...for today I feel ok about just being me..."a new freedom and a new happiness" I don't like to compare sobrieties...but my sponsor was right that for the first two years back in the program all I spoke of was the past...my last sobriety type thing and comparing it to now....when that stopped I began to grow as the person I am sober in today...not comparing but freeing myself into what today has to offer....writing , journalling and dating and commenting in areas during my daily readings really helps me be aware of so much more!
Good to be here tonight....Peace, Schell

[bluidkiti]

Hey schell, Glad to see you back on board with us.

[dwmoeller]

Schell, I'm glad your computer is working for you again. Jo had problems with hers too.

Shalom (שָׁלוֹם) (This means Peace in Hebrew) :smiley:

[schell81208]

Nice to hear from you all! Life in sobriety has been taking on new meaning for me in the last couple of months...my hp is very present...I learned this thursday that we were not meant to be sober and not live life to its fullest...sobriety is a gift and all we see around us and people we meet in and out of the program are gifts , where when I was drunk I could care less, today in sobrity I am seeing the program work in my life....Thursday night I was on my way to chair the woman's group, the new chair asked me to fill in...my hp told me to leave the house early and do a well being ck on one of my best friends who had multiple health problems....she had given me the keys to her apt about a month ago...nobody could get ahold of her....I found her dead on her couch with her little dog sleeping by her...she was 54 and died from a heart attack most likely due to lack of self care..and having a TIA (mini stroke ) in the days prior to death...I can imagine if I was drunk , in the food or high God would not have directed me to do this , I am a taker and not a friend in my addictions....I also knew what I would find...that thing in my gut...while the police were processing the scene I was cooperative and polite, calling people from my lists and contacts...though the shock is still with me, and my promise in life to her was to care for her pets if she dies...in today I keep my promises and am working closely with the family....will be going to the apt again tomorrow...looks like the dog and cat will go to her daughters, still have her ferret...we will care for him until he gets adopted. My you all choose to enjoy each moment of each day....today I am grateful to be alive and sober....Peace, Schell

[MajestyJo]

So good to see your post. I picked this up at the AA/Al-Anon Roundup this past weekend.

I think this is posted on the board, but like the word gift, no matter what fellowship we belong to.

The 12 Gifts of Al-Anon (from Survival to Recovery, pg. 267)

1. We will become more mature, responsible individuals with a great capacity for joy, fulfillment and wonder.

2. Though we may never be perfect, continued spiritual progress will reveal to us our enormous potential.

3. We will discover that we are worthy of love and loving. We will love others without losing ourselves, and will learn to accept love in return.

4. Our sight, once clouded and confused, will clear and we will be able to perceive reality and recognize truth.

5. Courage and fellowship will replace fear.

6. We will be able to risk failure to develop new hidden talents.

7. Our lives, no matter how battered and degraded, will yield hope to share with others.

8. We will begin to feel and come to know the vastness of our emotions, but we will not be slaves to them.

9. Our secrets will no longer bind us in shame.

10. As we gain the ability to forgive , our families, and the world, our choices will expand.

11. With dignity we will stand for ourselves, but not against our fellows.

12. Serenity and peace will have meaning for us as we allow our lives, and the lives of others to flow day by day with God's ease, balance, and grace.

No longer terrified, we will discover we are free to delight in in life's paradox, mystery and awe. We will laugh more. Fear will be replaced faith, and gratitude will come naturally as we realize that our Higher Power is doing for us what we cannot do for ourselves.

[dwmoeller]

Schell,

My Mom had a similar experience when she went to check on a good friend of hers and found her dead in her apartment. That can be really hard. I am so happy to hear that you are grateful to be alive and sober. That's the way I feel every single day!

Peace to you,

[BW1]

Hi Schell

So good to see you

Sounds like you have been "rocketed into the 4th dimension of existence"
Big Hugs to you