TOUCHSTONES - MEDITATION FOR MEN FOR SEPTEMBER

[MajestyJo]

Sunday, September 1, 2013

You are reading from the book Touchstones

If you wish to make an apple pie truly from scratch, you must first invent the universe.
—Carl Sagan

Everything is given to us. Our lives came forth with no plan on our part. We have no lease on life and no control, ultimately, over any possession. In the addictive and codependent families most of us came from, we learned something else. We learned a lonely arrogance that said, "I should be self sufficient. I have earned everything that ever came to me." Deep down we probably knew how untrue that was, and we felt great self-doubt.

The cure we learn in this program for our lonely arrogance is a miracle and a blessing. We accept that we are part of a larger whole. Now it dawns on us - all of our friends and relatives share this basic powerlessness. We are all pilgrims. We are all guests. We are all stewards of creation. We can be close, and we must help one another because everyone is equally vulnerable.

I am grateful to my Higher Power today for the life, which has been given me. I pray for greater understanding of my responsibilities.

[MajestyJo]

Monday, September 2, 2013

You are reading from the book Touchstones

A lot of what passes for depression these days is nothing more than a body saying that it needs work.
—Geoffrey Norman

Exercise changes our thought patterns in beneficial ways. Often we may feel irritable or blue and see nothing we can do about the situation. Then we are amazed at what simply going for a half hour walk will do. Although our situations don't change, we are changed in how we respond to them. Exercise - whether going for a walk, working in the garden, playing ball, or scrubbing a floor - clears our minds. After some physical movement we find our thoughts getting clearer. Ideas come to mind that help us cope, and our spirit is energized.

Science has demonstrated that many serious cases of depression respond just as well to a program of vigorous daily exercise as to traditional treatment. In a sense, our Higher Power speaks to us through our muscles and bones when we move them. This spiritual experience, like many others, never comes from thinking about it, only from doing it.

Today, I will make time for physical activity.

[MajestyJo]

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

You are reading from the book Touchstones

It is clear the future holds opportunities - it also holds pitfalls. The trick will be to seize the opportunities, avoid the pitfalls, and get back home by 6:00.
—Woody Allen

Sometimes we take ourselves far too seriously. We draw our lives in the absolutes of black and white, with no shadings of gray. We believe our whole lives depend on every decision we make. When a problem comes along, we see it as a crisis rather than another of the ongoing issues that confront all people. If we are displeased with someone, or if a person is upset with us, we amplify the feelings until we rupture the whole relationship.

It would be helpful to look at today's tasks and problems as a game. Yes, we would like to play the game well, but we could have a good time while doing it. If we don't take our problems or ourselves too seriously, maybe we'll have some fun.

Help me learn that daily living needs the light of humor.

Had a service sponsor who claimed to have taught me how to laugh at myself. She did bring it to my attention, but I believe it was my God's Intervention.

Did like myself, and tend to put myself down. My life was a BIG joke, and I was the joker, and covered my pain with Laughter.

[MajestyJo]

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

You are reading from the book Touchstones

It is as important to cultivate your silence power, as it is your word power.
—William James

We bless ourselves with renewal and healing when we retreat from the world for a few private moments of silence. The power we cultivate in silence isn't generated by us; that power comes to us. We can do this by deliberately withdrawing from all distractions. Then we quiet our inner selves by concentrating on deep relaxation, thinking about a brief reading, or by praying.

Most of us already have a personal island of renewal that we have turned to many times in the past for serenity and strength. We can use it and turn to it daily. This natural pattern is necessary for a strong and healthy life. It builds our relationship with our Higher Power and ourselves. In our problems with self-esteem, we often label as worthless the quiet, subtle things we do, but these very things are essential to build our strength and self esteem.

I will take time for silence to receive the power it gives in my life.

[MajestyJo]

Thursday, September 5, 2013

You are reading from the book Touchstones

He brought me out into an open place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.
—Psalms 18:19

We know in this program that our recovery was not an accident. We may be mystified by it or surprised to be feeling better. Some of us call it a miracle. We have worked hard in our recovery. We have suffered through some difficulties. Yet, our recovery is not an achievement or an accomplishment. It is a gift from our Higher Power. We were powerless to help ourselves. All we could do was ask for help.

As we live an improved life and enjoy the benefits of our growth, we may ask why we were given this gift. As we seek to know the will of God, the ancient passage quoted today offers an answer. "He rescued me because He delighted in me." Can we let that in?

Thanks to God for all the rescued moments and for all the times I have been saved from my excesses.

[MajestyJo]

Friday, September 6, 2013

You are reading from the book Touchstones

I learned to listen to my body with an inner concentration like meditation, to get guidance as to when to exercise and when to rest. I learned that healing and cure are active processes in which I myself needed to participate.
—Rollo May

In our spiritual growth, one of our movements is from passive to active, from helpless to responsive. For example, we are passive if we don't take responsibility for our bodies and don't care for our wellness and conditioning. Do we passively leave our health in the doctor's hands?

Do we take responsibility for our relationships? Are we active in nurturing them? We could add our own interests and positive energy to enrich them.

Our Higher Power speaks to us in a quiet, subtle voice, which can easily be ignored until we learn to listen. It takes courage to listen to this inner voice. When we listen, we develop a relationship that is a strong force moving us into recovery. We are still powerless over many things, but we can make active choices in how we will grow and how we will respond.

I will be guided in my choices by my inner voice.

[MajestyJo]

Saturday, September 7, 2013

You are reading from the book Touchstones

Friendship and community are, first of all, inner qualities.
—Henri J. M. Nouwen

Many of us mistakenly search outside ourselves for answers. We feel small inside and not very powerful. Many of us men have tried to change our lives by affecting the people around us. Naturally, when we think of making friends, we assume we would start by getting a friend. But such beginnings often don't lead very far.

Friendship begins as an inward attitude or feeling before it is expressed outwardly. Perhaps we could first notice whom we feel friendly toward. Whom do we admire? Whom do we feel an affinity with? Let that friendliness exist within, and it will begin to express itself. Are we grasping for acceptance or response? Let us remain with our own goodwill and not return to old attempts to get someone else to change. Friendship exists as a feeling of admiration, of love, of fellowship, without demand. And when we are another man's friends, let us accept his friendship and enjoy it without trying to change it or him.

Today, I will simply notice my friendly feelings toward others.

My friendly feelings were out, but occasionally, my not so good ones were glaringly apparent yesterday. I was glad had my tool box along to get through the day.

[MajestyJo]

Sunday, September 8, 2013

You are reading from the book Touchstones

It's hard for me to keep my emotions inside. I want to express them now. That's what a team is all about.
—Earvin "Magic" Johnson

We become part of a team in this program. That's why all the Steps are written with the word we rather than I. We cannot fully surrender to renewal simply by reading about it, hearing about it, or thinking about it. We become participants, members, and peers. We go to meetings and express the details of our lives, and we learn from the stories of others. In our relationships we learn to let our emotions out.

When we say, "He's hard to get to know," we are talking about someone who doesn't show feelings. Team members express their feelings to build a bond between themselves and gain a familiarity with each other. A man may say, "I'm the sort of guy who doesn't do well in groups," or "I'm not the type to express my feelings." But for the sake of recovery, we must endure the awkwardness of learning new things. On this recovery team it is all right to come just the way we are, awkwardness and all.

Today, I will not hold back my emotions. I will let people know me.

[bluidkiti]

September 9

You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Don't let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was. --R. L. Evans
Feelings of discouragement are to be expected as part of life. We will have our times of greater energy and hope and our times of feeling depleted and lost. As we mature we learn to see many peaks and valleys across the landscape.
Giving ourselves over to feelings of discouragement is self-indulgent and saps our strength. We cannot see into the future. The dailiness of our lives isn't always dramatic and doesn't usually offer great changes. But we are part of an unfolding process. Looking back over just a week or a month, we can recall troubled times that now seem insignificant. We see other' people and their progress, and we know they too grew just one day at a time and couldn't see what the future would bring them. So we continue - knowing that our process is hopeful - even though we cannot foresee the details of our future.
I have the strength to live through the peaks and valleys and to stay faithful to my recovery.

[bluidkiti]

September 10

You are reading from the book Touchstones

It is not a question of how a husband and wife can be equal and alike. But rather, it is a problem of how a couple can be equal and different.
—Pierre Mornell

In seeking closeness with loved ones, we have often made the mistake of looking only for similarities. Although common ground helps understanding, we must learn how to get close to others by "borrowing their eyes and ears." We expand our understanding of others by accepting that what we see, hear, think, and feel will not be exactly what anyone else does. We can deepen our relationships by exchanging our experiences with others.

We don't have to agree on everything. Simply learning about each other's differences and letting each other know that we hear and understand will create a feeling of intimacy.

I will be receptive and appreciate differences in those I love.

[bluidkiti]

September 11

You are reading from the book Touchstones

A man can stand a lot as long as he can stand himself.
—Axel Munthe

Sometimes we're mistaken about the source of our unhappiness. We walk around with a short fuse, ready to explode if anyone crosses our path. Then, when we do explode, we think it is the other person's fault. At other times we have frightening physical reactions and worry that something is wrong with our bodies. But we are not aware that a deeper feeling of not being able to stand ourselves causes the problem.

Most of us have problems accepting ourselves. When we make peace with our consciences, some of our problems vanish. Other problems may never disappear, but our pain is eased because our inner battle has ceased and we have the energy we need to cope.

I am grateful for the gift of self-respect this program gives me.

[bluidkiti]

September 12

You are reading from the book Touchstones

Not all fights are bad; in fact they are preferable to disciplined serenity.
—William Atwood

A good relationship includes some disagreement. Anger and disagreement, when we express them respectfully, are important ways of renewing communication and breaking through the walls that sometimes built up. No relationship can tolerate constant fighting. But, when we don't agree with someone, we owe it to that person to speak up and follow through to resolution. We can promise ourselves and the other person that we will stay in the relationship through the disagreement. It is because we care that we fight.

In any relationship we care about, there will be differences. When we avoid all confrontations, our relationships go stale because all emotional issues are avoided. Carefulness and over control undermine love because they don't give it room to breathe, but disagreement and anger expressed in honest and respectful ways will help love grow.

Today, I pray for the courage to acknowledge my disagreements and angry feelings with others and to deal with their feelings toward me.

[bluidkiti]

September 13

You are reading from the book Touchstones

Mothers give sons permission to be a prince but the father must show him how.... Fathers give daughters permission to be princesses. And mothers must show them how. Otherwise, both boys and girls will grow up and always see themselves as frogs.
—Eric Berne

Relationships with our fathers have been central in shaping our characters. We catch ourselves saying what we heard our fathers say, or doing something we know they did. Many of us have had pain and resentments in these relationships. We wanted more time than they gave us, or we longed for praise but got criticism, or we were never sure we measured up to them.

Some of us can change our relationships with our fathers. We can do it, not by asking them to be different, but by being our full adult selves with them. This new experience is the doorway to a new aspect of our selves. Many of us cannot change our relationships with our fathers, but being with our sons and daughters in ways that nurture their growth is another chance to redo for ourselves what we missed.

My father's importance to me is a fact I must surrender to. I will take what he has given me and grow with it.

[bluidkiti]

September 14

You are reading from the book Touchstones

When a person drowns himself in negative thinking he is committing an unspeakable crime against himself.
—Maxwell Maltz

Negative thoughts can rule our lives as compulsively as an addiction. The feelings of power we get from holding a dismal and gloomy outlook deprive us of the positive and pleasant parts of life. Some of us have said, "If I expect the worst, I won't be disappointed. If I think the worst about myself, no one else can cut me down." It is like taking a driving trip and looking only for trash and garbage in the ditches, ignoring the beauty beyond. Indeed, what we see may be real, but it is a very limited piece of the picture.

When we have relied on negative thinking, it feels risky to give it up. We cannot do it in one day. We can begin by imagining ourselves with a more open attitude toward the world and ourselves. Then we can try it out as an experiment in little ways, with no commitment. Finally we reach the point where we can take a risk and entrust our Higher Power with the outcome.

Today, I will experiment with hopeful and positive thoughts about what happens.

[bluidkiti]

September 15

You are reading from the book Touchstones

When people are loving, brave, truthful, charitable, God is present.
—Harold Kushner

For many of us, our spiritual awakening began when we first heard our Higher Power might be our group. We learned that God may exist in the connections between people in our group just as well as within each individual. As we members exchange care and help with each other, as each struggles to achieve complete honesty and wrestles bravely with old temptations, God is truly in our midst. Closeness flourishes because we felt so alone but then found friends who suffered in similar ways. It is an expression of a spirit beyond our rational control.

When we ask another member to listen to us, we contribute to the strength of this spirit. When we give someone a ride to a meeting or spread the word about this program to other suffering men and women, we make a contribution and receive its benefits. Even now, if we need a renewal of confidence in God's presence in our lives, we can telephone another member and just talk. We will quickly sense the spirit.

Today, I am grateful to feel God's presence in my life and within the people around me.