Today's Thought - June

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June 1

I should be content to look at a mountain for what it is and not as a comment on my life.

~David Ignatow

We have recognized our self-centeredness as addicts and codependents. On the other side is the feeling of peace and well-being when we are released from it. Self-centeredness caused us to take everything personally. We were hypersensitive to our surroundings, to other people, and to how they reacted. Yet so often these things had very little to do with us. God sends rain for the just and the unjust.

When we can look at a mountain and lose ourselves in the sight, we are refreshed spiritually. But no mountain is necessary for this experience. When we listen to a friend and simply hear his perspective, when we pet a dog and just enjoy this loving creature, when we look at a sunset and drink it in for what it is - then we are growing.

God, grant me release from the oppression of my ego.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men*

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June 2

Find a Buddy (Anybuddy)

I strongly believe that having even just one friend in recovery is incredibly helpful to our recovery. Depending on what sort of recovery journey you are on, you may be familiar with the concept of having a "sponsor" or a "mentor" or maybe even just an "accountability buddy."

All such relationships can be helpful. If you are in Twelve Step recovery, the pressure to "get a sponsor" can invite a lot of anxiety. You should take your time picking out someone to work the Steps with (which is the purpose of a having a sponsor). If you are in a different recovery community, you might think about asking someone with more experience to mentor you, or somebody with the same amount of experience as you to be your accountability buddy.

I've seen miraculous things happen when women join forces to help each other stay the course. You should also know that you don't need to establish formal relationships if you aren't ready for a sponsor, mentor, or accountability buddy. Maybe just ask someone if you can text them once in a while or have coffee or go for a walk. The main point here is that everybody deserves a buddy in recovery. And I'm sure there is someone out there who would love to be yours.

There are other women out there looking for the same level of connection as you are. May you find each other.

Today's reading is from the book She Recovers Every Day: Meditations for Women*

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June 3

Accepting the past

Psychiatrist Carl Jung once said, "If one can accept one's sin, one can live with it. If one cannot accept it, one has to suffer the inevitable consequences." We must come to accept our past acts before they will stop causing us pain.

All the Steps help us do this, but particularly helpful are Four and Five (the inventory Steps) and Eight and Nine (the amends Steps). If we attend to these Steps properly, we will no longer regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.

Am I coming to accept myself?

Higher Power, help me accept the ways I've behaved in the past - and the ways I behave in the present - that cause me pain, so that in your time I may be freed.

I will work on self-acceptance today by...

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day: Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts*

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June 4

The Next Right Thing

You survived insufferable torment in your service. Find grace in knowing that you were placed in extraordinary circumstances that asked of you unimaginable deeds. Find peace in your certainty that you did all that was asked of you and more. You showed uncommon bravery and fortitude.

Today, of course, you question some of the decisions you made. Rest easy in the knowledge that you always did the right thing in the moment. It wasn't fair and it wasn't pretty. But you and your men came home. You led them through a hell no one should ever have to experience. Even in the final moments of some of your brothers, you saw that they went out with peace in their eyes even as the world burned around them. Your presence gave them the comfort and courage to proceed into that hereafter without fear in their gazes.

Addiction brought with it its own kind of hell. Now we look to those on either side of us, and we lead them through it. We show it can be done. We do the next right thing as we work our program. We give back to others. We give our presence and service to them so they can find peace too. So they can find their way through the fire.

Today I will look for the grace in my past, my present, and my future.

~Bradley L., U.S. Army, 2005–2010

Today's reading is from the book Leave No One Behind: Daily meditations for Military Service Members and Veterans in Recovery*

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June 5

Let's not exclude compassion for ourselves when we feel compassion.

It is easier to feel compassion for friends and family members who are in pain than it is to feel compassion for ourselves. But we have suffered too, or we wouldn't be in the Twelve Step program, and we wouldn't have opened this book. Pain is consistent with being human. How we handle it, how long we harbor it, how willing we are to give it up - these are ways we differ from one another.

To give up pain we first need to feel compassion for ourselves and the struggles we have had. We need to acknowledge that we have done our best. We need to be willing to care for the small child within who perhaps has always felt unworthy and inadequate. And after nurturing ourselves, we'll be more able to give up the pain that may block our growth and to help others by our example.

None of us can do it all alone. I will love myself and help my inner child handle all of life today.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance*

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June 6

Father’s drinking became the family secret.

~Scott Russell Sanders

Few families in this country have been entirely spared the impact of addiction to drugs or behaviors. Fortunately, we're living in a time when the secrets of family addictions are finally being spoken aloud and shared. With sharing, the devastation of secrecy has been diminished, and the doors to healing are open.

If we grew up in a family in which someone suffered from addiction we may have become over-responsible, controlling, secretive, or emotionally shut down. Addiction in the family, even generations back, has powerful, continuing effects, until someone is able to stop the pattern.

Addiction is a disease, not a moral failure. Treatment through Twelve Step programs is a powerful way to break the cycle of addiction. Sharing the language of recovery, we’re no longer required to walk through life alone, bearing the burden of a family secret.

Today, I share my story with others and let healing enter.

Today's reading is from the book Glad Day

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June 7

Letting Go of Resistance

Do not be in such a hurry to move on. Relax. Breathe deeply. Be. Be in harmony today. Be open. There is beauty around and in us today. There is purpose and meaning in today.

There is importance in today - not so much in what happens to us, but in how we respond. Let today happen. We learn our lessons, we work things out, we change in a simple fashion: by living our life fully today.

Do not worry about tomorrow's feelings, problems, or gifts. Do not worry about whether we can trust ourselves, life, or our Higher Power tomorrow. Everything we need today shall be given to us. That is a promise - from God, from the Universe.

Feel today's feelings. Solve today's problems. Enjoy today's gifts. Trust yourself, life, and your Higher Power today. Acquire the art of living fully today. Absorb the lessons, the healing, the beauty, the love available to us today.

Do not be in such a rush to move on. There is no hurry. We cannot escape; we only postpone. Let the feelings go; breathe in peace and healing. Do not be in such a hurry to move on.

Today, I will not run from myself, my circumstances, or my feelings. I will be open to myself, others, my Higher Power, and life. I will trust that by facing today to the best of my ability, I will acquire the skills I need to face tomorrow.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency*

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June 8

Thank God every morning when you get up that you have something to do which must be done, whether you like it or not.

~Charles Kingsley

Marshall McLuhan warned that this age of electronic marvels could turn out to be less than marvelous for human development. He predicted that one effect would be the spawning of vast numbers of voyeurs - people who would rather watch than participate, seek vicarious rather than real experiences, and seemingly not know the difference.

We all know (or may be) people who would rather watch television than participate in the living drama of today's world. Being a spectator is safe. The defeats and triumphs and the loves and losses that flicker across the screen don't require that we take a stand or make an effort. As long as we don't participate, we don't have to make decisions or take risks.

But real life is lived in the trenches, and real action is never secondhand. As the years go by and we look back on our lives, will we want to remember that we played the game, or that we played it safe?

Today, I pray for the courage to get involved in my own drama.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children*

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June 9

The now never asks what’s coming next.

~Larry Stillday

We need to spend some time every day in the now. Just being. Just being enough. Relaxing. Enjoying the people around us or enjoying a moment alone. Listening to our heartbeat. Feeling the air enter and leave our bodies as we breathe calmly and deeply. Trusting that, for this moment, all is as it should be. Life is taking care of us. We are in our Higher Power's care.

In this moment, we let go of the past and we let go of the future. We focus on now. Now we don't think. We simply listen. To our heartbeat. To our breathing. To the sounds of life around us. To the quiet voice of our Higher Power.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, in my old life I used alcohol or drugs to forget the past and the future. I wanted to be in the now, but I embraced death instead of life in my search. Hold me as I enter the now sober, alive, and listening. Please use these moments to restore my spirit.
Today's Action

Today I will practice being in the now. I will freeze-frame two times today. Once, alone as I practice a moment of meditation, and once as I simply stop thinking and truly look around me at life's energy.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me: More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple*

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June 10

Honor begets honor; trust begets trust; faith begets faith; and hope is the mainspring of life.

~Henry L. Stimson

If anything characterized the severity of our addiction, it was hopelessness. How often had we tried to stop on our own, only to slip again into the shame of acting out? How often did we promise ourselves we would start over tomorrow, that today was hopeless and we might as well do whatever we wanted?

The problem was that we were trying to remove the addiction ourselves, relying on our willpower and intellect. We don't have to recover alone, and there is hope. There is a Higher Power - each of us can choose what we name it - who will straighten out the mess of our life and our behavior.

Of course, it would be nice if that happened right away, but as we become willing to wait, we find the strength and hope that allows us to live today. Feeling hopeful gives us a place from which to start changing. It gives us a reason to care, to keep going, no matter how great the odds, and to start again if we stumble.

May I never lose hope that I can grow and change. Today I will look around and see where there's hope in my life.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart

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June 11

Service

Whomsoever shall compel you to go with him one mile ...go with him two. Go another mile.

~Og Mandino

No effort must ever seem so great that it will stop us from giving completely of ourselves in helping someone find the kind of life others helped us find. It is the responsibility of each member to go to any lengths in giving service. Whatever sacrifice it may require from us will bring great rewards.

We always learn that, in the act of one person helping another, no person can give without receiving or get without giving. We learn from our sponsors that when they help us, they are also helping themselves. This experience is a very important part of the program. Our First, Second, and Fifth Traditions are grounded in the principle of service to others. We are privileged to share in that experience.

When I undertake to help another person or our fellowship, I must strive to do more and serve better than is expected of me.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It: A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations*

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June 12

Today I forgive all those who have ever offended me. I give my love to all thirsty hearts, both to those who love me and to those who do not love me.

~Paramahansa Yogananda

In time we come to understand that the forgiving heart is the peaceful heart, and we always have the choice to be "right" or to be peaceful.

Forgiveness and love are partners on our path to genuine self-love and self-acceptance, and thus peace. Peace - or serenity - is our goal and is guaranteed to us each moment that we forget ourselves and shine the light of our love on others.

To not forgive, whatever the offense, pulls the shade on God's light. When we harbor ill feelings toward others, we become stuck in the darkness of old ideas, ideas that won't let us experience the growth, peace, and well-being promised us.

When we forgive, we are freed. When we love, we are nurtured. What we bestow on others is returned by God a hundredfold.

Today I will express love through forgiveness and I will feel God's love in return.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care: Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery*

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June 13

The self is a calm stable center surrounded by a continuous changing sea. Merge with yourself and be ready for any emergent sea.

~Coretta Scott King

Wise ones tell us to be true to ourselves. Being true to ourselves means daring to disagree with a loved one, even when we know it might cause painful tension. It means refusing to go along with the group's plans if our values are being ignored. It means standing alone, if necessary, in our family of origin if their expectations of us no longer nurture our growth.

With the help of the Fourth and Tenth Steps, we are learning who we are. We have recognized our shortcomings, and we have defined the assets that make our lives productive and enviable. Each day we are getting closer to knowing more completely the "inner woman" who is calm and centered. She is unruffled by the activity around her. She is quiet and accepting of the circumstances that have called to her. She is our guide, if we want one. She is our protector, if we need one. She is our voice when we become ready to let her speak.

I can be calm and centered today if situations get tense. My "inner woman" will take my hand and give me the words I need.

Today's reading is from the book A Woman's Spirit: More meditations for Women*

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June 14

AA Thought for the Day

When we alcoholics first come into AA and we face the fact that we must spend the rest of our life without liquor, it often seems like an impossibility to us. So AA tells us to forget about the future and take it one day at a time. All we really have is now. We have no past time and no future time. As the saying goes: "Yesterday is gone, forget it; tomorrow never comes, don't worry; today is here, get busy." All we have is the present. The past is gone forever and the future never comes. When tomorrow gets here, it will be today. Am I living one day at a time?
Meditation for the Day

Persistence is necessary if you are to advance in spiritual things. By persistent prayer - persistent, firm, and simple trust - you achieve the treasures of the spirit. By persistent practice, you can eventually obtain joy, peace, assurance, security, health, happiness, and serenity. Nothing is too great in the spiritual realm for you to obtain, if you persistently prepare yourself for it.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may persistently carry out my spiritual exercises every day. I pray that I may strive for peace and serenity.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day: A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life*

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June 15

Let there be spaces in your togetherness.

~Kahlil Gibran

Sometimes it is just as important to know when to leave others alone as it is to know when to talk with them. We all need to be alone at times - to think, to work out a problem, or just to be quiet with ourselves. This is especially true in families, where we're often surrounded by others. If we tune in to our other family members, we can develop sensors that will let us know when they need some time alone. Part of good communication is knowing when not to talk, too.

Can I be sensitive to my family's needs for privacy today?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families*