Today's Thought - October

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October 1

Sponsorship Saves

For years, I used to think that acceptance meant I had to like something to accept it.

Oh, no, I don't have to like it. I just need to accept it. To let it go. There's a lot of things I don't like about my life, but today is like, wow.

One of the amazing things I've learned in recovery is how to be somebody's sponsor. I have AA pamphlets and the sponsorship book. As your sponsor, I'm not willing to let you just flop around and not do something. I'm not going to let you waste your time; we're going to work together. That's something else I tell my sponsees: if you don't make progress with me, I will cut you loose so you can find the one that's supposed to be working with you.

Today I'll remember that working with others through mentorship and sponsorship brings progress on my path of recovery.

~Stephanie C., U.S. Navy, 1978–1983

Today's reading is from the book Leave No One Behind: Daily meditations for Military Service Members and Veterans in Recovery*

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October 2

Reflection for the Day

When we first stopped drinking, using, overeating, or gambling, it was an enormous relief to find that the people we met in the program seemed quite different than those apparently hostile masses we know as "They." We were met not with criticism and suspicion, but with understanding and concern. However, we still encounter people who get on our nerves, both within the program and outside it. Obviously, we must begin to accept the fact that there are people who'll sometimes say things with which we disagree or do things we don't like. Am I beginning to see that learning to live with differences is essential to my comfort and, in turn, to my continuing recovery?
Today I Pray

May I recognize that people's differences make our world go around and tolerate people who "rub me the wrong way." May I understand that I must give them room, that some of my hostile attitudes toward others may be leftovers from the unhealthy days when I tended to view others as mobilized against me.
Today I Will Remember

Learn to live with differences.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People*

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October 3

Only when we humbly ask for help are we ready to receive it.

On occasion, our problems seem overwhelming, and we don't know where to turn. Our job is stressful. Our health is failing. The pain of living with a drinking spouse is becoming more difficult. But many of us face no truly threatening situations, and we still have problems. Being alive, being human, means having experiences that trouble us.

It's hard to ask for help when we are in a troubling situation because we fear that means we are inadequate. After all, we are grown men and women who have taken care of ourselves and others for years. We don't have the wisdom to handle every situation, and yet we think we should. Seeking guidance from friends, sponsors, and our Higher Power gets easier with practice. Asking for help is a learned behavior. And practice we must!

But just as important as the seeking is the receiving. Are we actually open to the wisdom offered? Do we want it badly enough to truly listen to the guidance?

I will open my heart to God's wisdom today and find help for whatever troubles me.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance*

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October 4

In less than one year, 98 percent of all the atoms in your body are replaced completely. This includes even the DNA, which holds memories of millions of years of evolutionary time. . .
You are literally changing your body as effortlessly as you change your clothes.

~Deepak Chopra

Perhaps we have given up on changing certain aspects of our lives. We may say to ourselves, "This is something I can't change." But when we look back at our old ideas and behaviors, we can see how we have changed. We can see how often change has occurred even without our conscious effort. Change is constant and inevitable in our lives at every level - physical, mental, and spiritual.

Willpower doesn't bring about change, willingness does. With willingness and trust in a Higher Power, we can replace old habits with new ones, just as our bodies replace their atoms.

Today, I am willing to change my life for the better.

Today's reading is from the book Glad Day

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October 5

Receiving

Here is an exercise:

Today, let someone give to you. Let someone do something nice for you. Let someone give you a compliment or tell you something good about yourself. Let someone help you.

Then, stand there and take it. Take it in. Feel it. Know that you are worthy and deserving. Do not apologize. Do not say, "You shouldn’t have." Do not feel guilty, afraid, ashamed, and panicky. Do not immediately try to give something back.

Just say, "Thank you."

Today, I will let myself receive one thing from someone else, and I will let myself be comfortable with that.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency*

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October 6

Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

~Step Two of Alcoholics Anonymous

Having admitted powerlessness in the First Step, we now begin to open our hearts and our minds to a reality greater than ourselves. It takes time to believe in the possibilities, time to exhaust all other means of making our own light, and time to recognize our need for restoration. We have carried our dysfunctional childhood patterns into adulthood and have continued to live those patterns even when they're no longer necessary. This is our insanity.

The sanity promised by the Second Step restores the ability to think on our own and to act on today's decisions rather than those made decades ago in a dysfunctional system. It is the sanity of integration - thoughts, actions, and feelings acting as one - instead of the fragmented insanity of having our thoughts say one thing and our actions doing just the opposite. We take this Step confident that our Higher Power can restore our ability to live rationally.

Perhaps for the first time in my life, I am ready to believe that help is available to me.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children*

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October 7

A single grateful thought toward heaven is the most complete prayer.

~Gotthold Ephraim Lessing

Thank you is one of the most important things we can say to anyone. Thank you packs a lot of meaning into two little words. Thank you says, "I see you. I see what you have done for me. You have been kind to me. I know it takes work to be kind. I feel special that you did the work of being kind to me. I am grateful."

Sometimes it is hard for us to say thank you because we are too busy feeling shame or sadness or anger. So what? No excuses. Those feelings are our own problems, and we know what to do about them now that we have a recovery program. No matter what is going on with us, we can always find help. And we can always be kind to others. Saying thank you is an easy way to start.
Prayer for the Day

Thank you, Higher Power. Thank you for the gift of life, for a world of natural beauty and power to live in, and for the people around me who love me and accept my love. Thank you for caring about me and helping me every day in my recovery, and please help me ask for the gift of your help each day.
Today's Action

Today I will practice thinking "Thank you, Higher Power" every time I receive a little help or a lucky break.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me: More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple*

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October 8

The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.

~Mark Twain

It's not that we want God to change everything about us or remake us to perfection. (OK, maybe we do.) It's not that we wish we were other than who we are; some days we even like who we are. It's more that we want to have faith in ourselves, a deep-down, constant faith that steadies us. We want to have roots deep in the earth, not fragile roots of glass.

Strong and deep roots are made of self-esteem, hope, love, willingness, humility, and faith. Our longing to be grounded in life may take the form of wishing we were not addicted, but that's a cover-up for the deeper things we truly want.

Recovery reorganizes our personalities, indeed our very souls, around new, spiritual principles. We remain addicts and always will be, yet that doesn't prevent us from possessing faith in ourselves and the courage to keep growing.

I am a vessel containing life. I am a vessel that has been shattered and mended. I will endure.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart

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October 9

Guilt and Worry

With the Past, as past, I have nothing to do; nor with the Future as future. I live now.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

We discover a truth about the past and future in our recovery. They are areas over which we have no control, so it's useless to feel guilty about the past or worry over the future. Our Steps have allowed us to clean the slate and make amends for the mess of the past. We receive a generous and loving forgiveness from our Higher Power.

We ask our Higher Power to accept our past mistakes and to free us from the garbage those mistakes have produced. The future is in God's hands. There is nothing we can do about what might happen except to pray for acceptance of God's will. These prayers produce plenty of work for the present. When the future comes, we will be ready.

The amount of time I spend right now feeling guilty or being worried only uses time that I could spend thanking God for the moment I am living. Gratitude will always make mincemeat out of guilt and worry.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It: A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations*

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October 10

All sorrows can be borne if you put them into a story or tell a story about them.

~Isak Dinesen

Sharing our experience, strength, and hope with others in this program helps to clarify for all of us the miracle of recovery. Telling another woman how we survived the most awful of experiences lets her know that her life is survivable too. It's not by accident that the founders of AA stressed the value of telling our stories.

Each time we share an aspect of our own traumatic past, its sting is diminished. The more we repeat these awful truths, the less their hold on us. Our storytelling lets our listeners know that their own experiences are not so different after all.

What lucky women we are. No longer do we hide ourselves from others. Each conversation with a sponsor, sponsee, or friend is an opportunity to lighten our load.

I will tell a part of my story to someone today. She may be helped by it, and I will be freed from it!

Today's reading is from the book A Woman's Spirit: More meditations for Women*

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October 11

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined.

~Henry David Thoreau

To have a dream takes courage and a bit of hope. A dream guides us, even if we haven't let ourselves bring it to consciousness. How often do we stop to ask what our dreams are? Do we even know what we want? This path is about becoming the best men we can be. It's more about who we become than what we achieve. So it inspires us to create dreams for our development as men.

When we take a few moments to reflect on the kind of men we want to be, we create reference points, or beacons, to move toward. This gives us a way to measure our actions and our choices. Do our actions take us in the direction we want to go, or do they take us off course? Are we growing into the men we want to be, or have we forgotten to follow our beacons?

In my actions today, I will keep my dreams in mind and choose my course with confidence.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones: More Daily Meditations for Men*

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October 12

AA Thought for the Day

Some people find it hard to believe in a Power greater than themselves. But not to believe in such a Power forces us to atheism. It has been said that atheism is blind faith in the strange proposition that this universe originated in a cipher and aimlessly rushes nowhere. That's practically impossible to believe. I think we all can agree that alcohol is a power greater than ourselves. It certainly was in my case. I was helpless before the power of alcohol. Do I remember the things that happened to me because of the power of alcohol?
Meditation for the Day

The spiritual and moral will eventually overcome the material and unmoral. That is the purpose and destiny of the human race. Gradually the spiritual is overcoming the material in our minds. Gradually the moral is overcoming the unmoral. Faith, fellowship, and service are cures for most of the ills of the world. There is nothing in the field of personal relationships that they cannot do.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may do my share in making a better world. I pray that I may be part of the cure for the ills of the world.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day: A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life*

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October 13

Listen to your feelings. They tell you when you need to take care of yourself, like finding a friend if you feel lonely, crying if you feel sad, singing and smiling if you feel happy, and acting frisky if you feel good.

~Pat Palmer

When we get too much of anything - too much fun or too much work - we may feel really crummy when it's over.

One way to listen to our crummy feelings is to say, "Here comes the letdown after all that fun." We can imagine a spaceship falling to earth, floating on the ocean. Coming down to earth is as much a part of the adventure as the countdown and blastoff.

A letdown for us means we need to let our bodies and minds rest, just like the spaceship, bobbing around without any special direction. We need to take it easy, do nothing, put off making plans.

Then we can ask God to help us let go of the crummy feelings that come along with a letdown. We can ask the spirit within us to guide us through this time of change. Then we will let down and let go.

What are some things I can do to take it easy the next time I feel down?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families*

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October 14

In my friend, I find a second self.

~Isabel Norton

We are all part of each other. We are part of others. When we can't see ourselves, maybe we need to look at others in our group. We can learn from them. We can learn how to stand firm, even when our knees are shaking and we want to run away. We can learn to speak gently to ourselves, even when our heart is full of tears. We can learn how to take pride in the simple things we do. Our friends in the program can teach us all these things.

We will learn to love again as others come to love us. We will become the friend another stranger needs because we were that person once. Through us, others will believe that a Power greater than themselves can restore them to sanity.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, please watch over the members of my Twelve Step group. Keep them safe and sober, for they have helped to keep me safe and sober.
Action for the Day

I will take time to find some way to say thank you to my group.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal*

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October 15

When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.

~Mark Twain

Feelings of anger are a knotty problem for many men. Some of us as children were injured or so frightened by an angry adult that we have instinctively avoided anger ever since. Or we have been appalled by ourselves when we lost control of our anger. Still, we are taught that it is masculine to be aggressive. Some of us have tried so hard to squelch our anger that we don't even know when we feel it. We treat anger like a rejected child - once rejected, we no longer have good discipline over it. So it comes out in hurtful jokes and sarcastic comments, or it bursts out of us in scary and destructive ways.

For some of us, overcontrolled anger turns inward against ourselves. We get physically ill or depressed and self-hating. Every recovering man needs an honest relationship with his anger. We must acknowledge this feeling within us when it is there. It is healthy to express anger directly, honestly, and respectfully.

Thanks to God for the richness of my emotional life. Today, I will notice my feelings of anger and accept them so I can learn to relate to them.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men*