Today's Thought - March

[bluidkiti]

March 1

Are you willing to be sponged out, erased, cancelled, made nothing? Are you willing to be made nothing? dipped into oblivion? If not, you will never really change.

~D. H. Lawrence

Many men have a self-centered attitude about change. They say, "Lift yourselves up by your bootstraps! Take charge! Be aggressive!" They have only a beginner's understanding of what real change is. When we try to change ourselves by our own methods, we simply give rebirth to our already limited controlling ideas. We recycle and intensify our problems.

This program has given us a profound possibility for change. We discover we are able to move beyond our compulsion to control by surrendering. The promises for recovery are clear and bright if we yield to this program totally - but they do not come on our timetable. We yield. We allow ourselves to be helped. We allow change to overtake us. We earnestly seek to do our part. And change comes! It comes - not when we say, "Now I deserve it," but when we are ready to accept it.

Today, I surrender again. Each day I learn to surrender and grow deeper.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men*

[bluidkiti]

March 2

Recovery Is Not a Race

When I chose recovery, I felt like I was so behind in my life that I had to make time up quickly. I had to straighten out, smarten up, and get a move on. Or so I thought. My pace in early recovery can best be described as frantic. I barreled through the Twelve Steps in the first couple of years, went to work to get off welfare and take care of my daughters, and barely had my feet on the ground before I dove into intensive therapy and went back to school. I stayed in school for thirteen years. I got so used to busy that I turned into a workaholic.

If you are early in recovery, even if your life feels like a train wreck (mine was), I'd like to give you some advice that I wish I had taken myself (more than a few people gave it to me). Work hard at your recovery, get yourself together, and sort out your life. But don't try to fix everything at once. Tend to the obvious things first; you know what they are. Then be sure to tackle the non-urgent things mindfully. You will be surprised how gentle change can be when you set your own parameters.

Recovery is not a race; it's a practice and a lifestyle, and we can embrace it gently.

Today's reading is from the book She Recovers Every Day: Meditations for Women*

[bluidkiti]

March 3

Finding joy

In the revelation of life (not in booze, pills, or junk) our first joy is the very fact that we are alive. Next, we find gladness and joy in our daily activities and accomplishments.

Soon we discover the joy of service to others. Later our happiness widens when we learn to share the joys of our brothers and sisters. And finally we find joy in our Higher Power.

Am I finding joy?

Higher Power, may I experience joy in the world around me, joy in being myself.

Today I will look for the joy in...

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day: Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts*

[bluidkiti]

Match 4

Reflection for the Day

Looking back, I realize just how much of my life has been spent in dwelling upon the faults of others. It provided much self-satisfaction, to be sure, but I see now just how subtle and actually perverse the process became. After all was said and done, the net effect of dwelling on the so-called faults of others was self-granted permission to remain comfortably unaware of my own defects. Do I still point my finger at others and thus self-deceptively overlook my own shortcomings?
Today I Pray

May I see that my preoccupation with the faults of others is really a smokescreen to keep me from taking a hard look at my own, as well as a way to bolster my own failing ego. May I check out the "whys" of my blaming.
Today I Will Remember

Blame saying is game playing.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People*

[bluidkiti]

March 5

Perfection is expressing God's will enthusiastically.

Sponsors tell us that this is a simple program we are prone to complicate. Reflecting on our lives, we probably would agree. Because we doubt that God will tell us how to handle the circumstances facing us, we aggressively move ahead, making decisions that are often not in sync with God's will and certainly not in our long-term best interests. We complicate our lives unnecessarily.

Before we came into the Twelve Step program, most of us wanted to be perfect. We worked hard and oftentimes were overachievers because we needed the praises of others. Sadly, because we too often relied solely on ourselves, we missed the mark. Now we are learning to let God direct us. Each time we fulfill God's will, we'll experience the perfection and the praises we'd sought for so long. This is a much simpler way to live.

Today I will use the Third Step every time I have a question about my life.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance*

[willbe275]

I love to put the 11 step prayer with
that reading today. Lord Make me a
Channel of Thy Peace.Amen sister
Tammy?

[bluidkiti]

March 6

Money costs too much.

~Ross Macdonald

It may be tempting to base our feelings of satisfaction on what we are paid or to let money lead us in making important choices. In fact, money can't satisfy our deepest cravings, and the absence of it is rarely our true complaint when we're dissatisfied with a work or personal situation.

Self-esteem requires that we place value on what we do and that we become willing to ask for adequate compensation. Even more important is choosing work that we love, deriving self-esteem from exercising our gifts and serving others.

When we must compromise our values and standards for the sake of money, we learn that money indeed costs too much. When we say no to what is wrong for us and yes to our hearts' desires, our Higher Power cooperates with our efforts to work out the financial details.

Today, I do not let money lead me. I embrace the work I love, trusting that I will thrive.

Today's reading is from the book Glad Day

[bluidkiti]

March 7

Children are gifts, if we accept them.

~Kathleen Turner Crilly

Children are gifts. Our children, if we have children, are a gift to us. We, as children, were gifts to our parents. Sadly, many of us did not receive the message from our parents that we were gifts to them and to the Universe. Maybe our parents were in pain themselves; maybe our parents were looking to us to be their caretakers; maybe we came at a difficult time in their lives; maybe they had their own issues and simply were not able to enjoy, accept, and appreciate us for the gifts we are.

Many of us have a deep, sometimes subconscious, belief that we were, and are, a burden to the world and the people around us. This belief can block our ability to enjoy life and our relationships with others. This belief can even impair our relationship with a Higher Power: we may feel we are a burden to God.

If we have that belief, it is time to let it go. We are not a burden. We never were. If we received that message from our parents, it is time to recognize that issue as theirs to resolve. We have a right to treat ourselves as a gift - to ourselves, to others, and to the Universe. We are here, and we have a right to be here.

Today, I will treat myself, and any children I have, as though we are a gift. I will let go of any beliefs I have about being a burden - to my Higher Power, my friends, my family, and myself.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency*

[bluidkiti]

March 8

Every natural fact is a symbol of some spiritual fact.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Our spirituality doesn't reveal itself only when we pray, meditate, or go to church. The implications of spirituality are much wider and deeper than that. Nearly everything we do is a reflection of the presence or absence of a spiritual dimension in our lives.

"How much is enough?" is a primary spiritual question. If we are not enough, all the food, drugs, or material goods in the world can never be enough. A sense of worthiness is a sign of the spirit. "Where is my security based?" is another primary spiritual question. If my security is based on status or the approval of the crowd, this is also a statement about my spirituality. We act out our spirituality when we smile and pat people on the back or gossip and tell insensitive jokes.

Our spirituality defines us. We don't need to tell anyone how spiritual we are - if they're hanging around us, they already know.

I seek to enrich my spirituality right now, but remember that it will be reflected in everything I do today.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children*

[bluidkiti]

March 9

You can pay too high for a bit of soft living.

~Mary Norton

We didn't become addicts by choice. We thought we had found an easier, softer way. We thought we could squeeze a little bit more fun and excitement out of life by our drinking or drug use. We thought we could control the outcome of our use, but we could not. Soon it controlled us. Oh, we pretended we were still in control, but in our heart of hearts, we knew we were lost.

Our addiction then asked for our dignity, and we gave it. Our addiction asked for our relationships with those we loved, and we paid up. Addiction asked that we betray our values and spiritual principles, and we did. Addiction kept asking for more, and we kept on paying; this is loss of control.

Social users will not give up their dignity, relationships, and values for their use, but addicts do. This is our illness. Now that we are in recovery, we don't have to give them up either.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me do the things I need to do to stay sober, even if I think they are hard to do - for with your help all things are doable.

Today's Action

I will do the hard things first. If there is a call I've put off, I'll make it. If there is someone I need to talk with but I'm afraid to, I'll talk with that person today.'Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me: More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple*

[bluidkiti]

March 10

The great thing about new friends is that they bring new energy to your soul.

~Shanna Rodriguez

We sometimes look into a face, and we see the Other. Other times, we look into a person's eyes, and we only see the Differences Between Us. As recovering addicts, we have known the pain of disconnection from other people. Why, then, would we want to continue that disconnection by not having people of many different backgrounds, sex, and genders in our lives? No matter what boundaries we may have to set in our lives because of our addiction, the gifts we receive from each other are many and invaluable. It is still possible for us to grow friendships.

A way to start exploring the gifts of friendship is to have diverse friends. With friends we can be ourselves. We can make mistakes; we can share activities; we can talk. We can call on and support in each other the subtleties and strengths we carry as individuals. We can learn from each other.

Is there someone I know who I'd like to spend more time with as a friend? I will be vulnerable and reach out to start new friendships.''

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart

[bluidkiti]

March 11

Responsibility

Faith is our greatest gift; it's sharing with others, our greatest responsibility.

~Anonymous

Places and things never wronged us. We justify old actions when we blame other people for what we once did to ourselves. This can cause us to return to old behaviors.

We want to give up all stinking thinking. We cannot safely act the way we think we are expected to, but we can work at being ourselves.

We take risks only if they aim at spiritual progress. We become assertive only in seeking whatever can help us grow. Above all, we must try to stop being a "blame thrower" and start shouldering our responsibilities. If we react with compassion, understanding, and love, then we will achieve spiritual progress. If we let ourselves be hurt or angry or full of self-pity, we achieve no growth and accept no responsibility.

It's not always what happens that is my responsibility; it's how I react to what happens.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It: A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations*

[bluidkiti]

March 12

Forgiveness is the key to action and freedom.

~Hannah Arendt

Resentments keep us in the past, a past that can never be relived. Resentments keep a stranglehold on our mind. They keep us from appreciating the beauty of a moment. They stop us from hearing the loving voices of friends. We forget that we have a mission to fulfill God's Divine plan for our life.

Fortunately, we can shake this hold on us, and our freedom comes when we decide to forgive whatever transgressions are made against us. This decision, with some practice, can become second nature.

Clearly the choice to resent no one is our opportunity to free our mind and heart for the real activities God hopes we'll attend to. Our purpose in this life goes unfulfilled when we're consumed by resentments. Now we have a program of recovery to help us develop a forgiving heart and find the peace and joy that are part of God's will for each of us.

Holding resentments against others hurts me. Forgiveness can make me glad I'm alive today.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care: Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery*