Obstacles to Forgiving Ourselves

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Obstacles to Forgiving Ourselves

Psalms 51:10-12
Every human being on earth has a sin problem. We all lose our temper, make mistakes, and do things that seem completely out of character. Sin is a universal problem, but the Lord has provided forgiveness for everyone who will accept it. And yet, many believers find it impossible to forgive themselves. Why?
First, we struggle with self-forgiveness at times because we find it difficult to accept God’s forgiveness. Guilt can be so strong that it may seem to overshadow the enormous gift of pardon and restoration that our Father has freely provided. We may think, What I’ve done is just too terrible. I doubt God could ever forgive me for this. That’s a tragic error.
Second, personal disappointment can prevent us from forgiving ourselves. We often have ridiculously high self-imposed standards for our behavior and achievements. When we fail to live up to them, we are all but crippled by disappointment, which can make self-forgiveness seem impossible.
Third, seeing the results of our sin can become an obstacle. That is, if our wrong actions produce a tangible negative consequence, we may become so blinded by the outcome that we can’t forgive ourselves. Seeing the aftermath of our sin day after day keeps guilt alive in our minds, and we may simply refuse to let it go.
Are you harboring guilt and remorse for a sin from your past? God’s forgiveness is available now (1 John 1:9). Christ gave His life to make you free. So do not willingly stay in chains because you’re unwilling to forgive yourself for what God has already pardoned (Galatians 5:1).


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The Challenges of Forgiving Ourselves

Psalms 32:1-2
Yesterday, we considered why people fail to forgive themselves for wrongdoing. Today, let’s look at seven questions to ask yourself when you struggle with self-condemnation.
1. Why should I continue to condemn myself when the Lord no longer condemns me?
2. Is my self-condemnation drawing me into a closer relationship with God, or is it driving me further from Him?
3. What good am I doing by refusing to forgive myself?
4. Does self-condemnation help or hurt my relationships with others?
5. Does my refusal to forgive myself impress God? Does He find me more devout because of my guilt and shame?
6. Is there any biblical basis for withholding self-forgiveness?
7. How long do I intend to condemn myself? What will be the end result?
Normally, the answers to these questions are obvious. However, if you’re in the throes of self-condemnation, the truth may seem hazy.
Often the only way to work through times of self-doubt and remorse is to focus on the basics of who God is and what He wants for your life. If you are struggling with an inability to forgive yourself, prayerfully consider the seven questions above. Read them aloud, and let them work through your spirit. You may even want to open a journal or take out a sheet of paper to record your thoughts as the Lord speaks to you. Don’t be surprised by some intense wrestling in your heart as you consider these points—and as God reorders your thoughts about yourself.

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