Oh the attraction of the wild and craziness that goes along with the drinking partying lifestyle, it's so much fun right ? I think in recovery somehow in one form or another we all are still chasing the madness from it all thinking we can still get something from it for ourselves. Maybe being the wildest or craziest as a means of getting respect. I don't know. Whatever the reasons are for this it never really ended well for me. By remembering that I'm less likely attracted to the glow that still comes from it that still attracts me. I now know that to have a good time means I don't have to cross that line into wild and crazy behavior that only leads to trouble. Maybe that's the reason I was always craving being wild and crazy was I was trying to match how I felt.