Self will was just as hard for us to learn as God's will is but with a completely different outcome. We can call it whatever we want but we were all looking for something that was better than what we already knew. That's where we start out in our journey of recovery that very few of us ever sign up for, but no the less end up there anyways. Our way wasn't working and because of that we're all led to something that's about doing things a different way. We all questioned why. Why was this happening to us? Recovery is not what we wanted or was it we didn't know. In that single moment there is the possibility that there is something better that we didn't know about. Trying to find out what that is, has been one of the reasons many of us have stuck around recovery. Also being spared the literal hell that we were putting ourselves through might also have something to do with it as well.