Today's Thought - November

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November 16

The cause is hidden, but the result is known.

~Ovid

Causes bring about effects. In human behavior, we tend to get what we do. If what we do is shout a lot and shake our fists, what we get is a shortage of people who want to be around us. If what we do is withdraw and hide, what we get is loneliness and an ever-deepening sense that we are not likeable.

If what we do is get involved with people who are too selfish or emotionally damaged to hold up their end of a loving relationship, what we get is a broken heart—perhaps over and over again. On the other hand, if what we do is concentrate on making ourselves healthier and more generous people, what we get is genuine readiness for a relationship that can work. And if what we do is consistently work our program, what we get is joyous recovery.

Instead of complaining about the effects of our behavior, we could better spend our time by looking at the behavior itself. We do have choices.

Today, I won’t look for apples on a lemon tree. If I want a tree that grows apples, I’ll have to buy an apple tree.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children*

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November 17

Isolation is like a tomb.

~Ian Kennedy Martin

The end road of addiction is isolation. As our illness surrounded our hearts and souls, we lost the ability to truly connect with others. We became trapped in a tomb with someone we couldn’t stand, our Addict. The voice of our Addict kept haunting us with what we had become. The faces of those we had chased away also haunted us.

As our illness created more pain, we used more chemicals. The Twelve Steps and the fellowship of the program offer a passage out of our tomb. We may be scared at times because we don’t always know where the Steps will lead. But they are the way out. We need to follow them, to keep walking until we see the light of our Higher Power and the smiles of the fellowship. We need never be trapped in the tomb of isolation again.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, thank you for your guiding light. Help me use it and follow it. Thank you for the new friends I can turn to when I feel alone.
Today's Action

Today I will connect with others and give thanks to my Higher Power. I will remind myself that if I feel alone, it is now by choice, and I can make different choices.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me: More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple*

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November 18

Prayer is our humble answer to the inconceivable surprise of living.

~Abraham Heschel

There are many ways to pray, and each of us has a style that uniquely expresses our spirituality. Once we open ourselves to our Higher Power, we can get comfortable with our own way of praying. It may mean leaving past ways behind. Maybe we’ve been used to prayer that relied only on words. Perhaps we used to pray for what we wanted, making sure we told God precisely what was best for us and everybody else. Or maybe we didn’t pray at all because we didn’t know how to or were afraid.

We need not worry about how to pray; our Higher Power shows us how. We must, however, be willing to move from the everyday world to a place where it is just our Higher Power and us. It is an exciting part of our spiritual journey to develop new ways to pray, trusting our relationship with our Higher Power to deepen the experience. What matters is that we give ourselves to it. When our prayer is from the heart, we know it and are at peace.

Prayer is another word for “conscious contact with God as we understood Him,” which is important to my recovery. I’ll take time today to pray.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart

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November 19

The Past

Let go and let God. What’s turned over turns out.

~Anonymous

There is a bit of packrat in all of us. We’ve carried things around with us that should have been thrown away long ago. We have had bad experiences that we can recall in an instant. We play the scene back in our minds and bring up those old feelings, and suddenly we are back in time. We feel the anxiety, anger, and resentment of the moment.

We learn in recovery not to carry the effects of old feelings into our present reality. We ask our Higher Power for the willingness to let go and turn over those memories. All they do is cause us pain and remorse. Our willingness to venture beyond the past into the present is the key to the future.

I will learn what I can from my past. Then I turn it over and put it behind me in order to build my future. I trust my Higher Power to take over all the things I’ve tried to control.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It: A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations*

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November 20

Keep your mind stayed on God, keep your mind stayed on truth, thought by thought.

~Martha Smock

When we keep our focus on God, particularly when we’re in the throes of turmoil, we clearly see the path to take. No problem’s solution will elude us for long when we rely on our Higher Power for strength, guidance, and clear vision.

We often forget that our thoughts are within our realm of conscious control; we too often sit idle as if our thoughts are happening to us. It’s true, someone else is in control: God is in charge and has left our thoughts to us, along with our attitudes and our behavior. By keeping watch on our thoughts and choosing those that are hopeful, positive, and loving, we can powerfully influence every aspect of our life.

We generally complicate our life by the attention we give our random thoughts, but there’s nothing complicated about quieting our mind. The power of simply visualizing the light of God’s spiritual presence surrounding us is astounding.

I can change my life today. My only need is to think quietly of God.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care: Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery*

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November 21

Gentleness is not a quality exclusive to women.

~Helen Reddy

Each of us has our soft side: maybe it's when we're petting a kitten, caring for a baby robin with an injured wing, or soothing a crying child who is afraid. Behaving in a gentle way toward others gives us warm feelings inside. It also encourages others to treat us gently, too.

We don't always feel like being gentle. If we're sad or worried about school or a friend, we might not even notice the people around us who need our gentleness. But when we remember gentleness, it lifts our spirits. Two people will always be happier when we're gentle—the person we've been gentle to and ourselves.

Who can I share my gentleness with today?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift: Daily Meditations for Families*

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November 22

It is well to remind ourselves that anxiety signifies a conflict, and so long as a conflict is going on, a constructive solution is possible.

~Rollo May

Anxiety is a sign of life. All living things experience it; it is nothing to be feared. In fact, we double our anxiety if we are afraid of our feelings of fear. Anxious feelings may be a guide, an intuition pointing us in a direction we need to follow. They can direct us away from some situations and toward others. They may be a sign that we have neglected something or that an important matter remains unfinished.

When we become familiar with our feelings, we also become more comfortable with them. We welcome them like friends who tell us what we need to pay attention to. One way to become more aware of our feelings is to just pause and quietly breathe with slow, deep breaths. In that simple physical act, our bodies quiet down, and we can think more clearly.

Today, I will give my anxiety its rightful place rather than fighting it, and I will pay attention to its message.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones: More Daily Meditations for Men*

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November 23

AA Thought for the Day

In AA we have insurance. Our faith in God is a kind of insurance against the terrible things that might happen to us if we ever drink again. By putting our drinking problem in the hands of God, we’ve taken out a sort of insurance policy, which insures us against the ravages of drink, as our homes are insured against destruction by fire. Am I paying my AA insurance premiums regularly?
Meditation for the Day

I must try to love all humanity. Love comes from thinking of every man or woman as your brother or sister, because they are children of God. This way of thinking makes me care enough about them to really want to help them. I must put this kind of love into action by serving others. Love means no severe judging, no resentments, no malicious gossip, and no destructive criticism. It means patience, understanding, compassion, and helpfulness.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may realize that God loves me, since He is the Father of us all. I pray that I in turn may have love for all of His children.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day: A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life*

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November 24

Celebrate your life and hear your spirit sing.

~Elisabeth L.

“What’s to celebrate?” some people ask. We all get our fill of the cynics. Their negativity can weigh down our spirits. But we don’t have to let them control how we see our lives or theirs. To keep our own perceptions positive, it helps to detach from the naysayers. We will improve our chances if we consciously focus on gratitude for even the tiny blessings rather than on whatever might be wrong.

Becoming grateful is the strongest, safest means of feeling good now that we are in recovery. Not only does it readily alter our mood, but it changes our perspective on every detail of our lives. To be thankful rather than thankless is a small price to pay for unqualified happiness coupled with serenity.

We’ve all known people who radiate a singing spirit. They love life, themselves, and others. We seek out their company. We can be like those people for the travelers sharing our journey. Let’s do it!

I will practice gratitude today and be a blessing in everyone’s life.

Today's reading is from the book A Woman's Spirit: More meditations for Women*

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November 25

Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.

~Martin Luther King Jr.

During our addiction, we were on a path leading to death—death of our spirit, mind, and body. On that path, we tried not to think about where it would lead. We didn’t want to get there. We just followed the path toward death, with one drink, pill, snort, or toke at a time.

Now we’ve chosen a new path for our lives. Making that choice was hard. We knew only the old path. We were afraid to change; it took faith. But we did it!

We are excited to follow our new path, our new staircase. We know it leads to good things. We can follow the map—the Twelve Steps—and enjoy the trip. It will last as long as we live, and the map will guide us.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, thanks for helping me choose the path of life.
Action for the Day

Today I’ll study the map for my life by reading the Twelve Steps.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal*

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November 26

Fine friendship requires duration rather than fitful intensity.

~Aristotle

Once we have embarked on this program, we find spiritual recovery through relationships more than any other single factor. We find it through relationships with other people, with ourselves, and with our Higher Power. But most men in recovery need to learn how to be in a relationship. We have to give up ideas that a friendship is an intense connection or a conflict-free blending of like minds.

A meaningful friendship is a long-term dialogue. If there is conflict or if we make a mistake or fail to do what our friend wants of us, we don’t end the friendship. We simply have the next exchange to resolve the differences. Our dialogue continues over time, and time—along with many amends—builds the bond. With it develops a deepening sense of reliability and trusting one another. When we have lived with our friend through many experiences—or with our Higher Power—we gain a feeling that we really know him or her in a way we could never have in a brief, intense connection.

Today, I will do what I need to do to be reliable in my friendships.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men*

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November 27

Removing the defects

Ralph Waldo Emerson once wrote, “No change of circumstances can repair a defect of character.” For us, this is the absolute truth. If we are impossible to live with, finding another spouse will not change our disagreeableness. If we constantly bum favors from friends, changing friends will not make us less of a bum. If we are inconsiderate to our neighbors, moving to another state will not make us more considerate.

But working our character-defect Steps can remove our undesirable characteristics. In fact, working these Steps will help us want to give up our faults.

Am I rid of all my defects of character?

Higher Power, help me realize that the only way to change my character defects is to change my character defects.

The defects I will work on today are…

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day: Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts*

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November 28

Creating Family

My dad was a great provider, but he was a physically and verbally abusive alcoholic. I don’t know how my mom didn’t kill him. I guess it’s why she stayed out of the house so much with church-related activities and other things. I know it was why I joined the military. I never got involved in sports or anything as a kid, because if I failed, I was afraid I’d hear about it. By the time I was thirteen, my self-esteem was all but gone. That’s when my dad’s drinking got to the blackout stages. He didn’t know what he was doing.

He hasn’t consumed alcohol for twenty-some years—he quit drinking about the time I left home. I was seventeen at the time. So the family joke for years has been, “Yeah, the day your dad quit drinking is the day you moved out.”

I’m more selective about relationships these days. Those closest to me are friends in recovery or “normies” in my family. I call this group of people my “framily,” because they are the family I’ve created.

Today I am thankful that in recovery we can create the family we wished for but never had.

Today's reading is from the book Leave No One Behind: Daily meditations for Military Service Members and Veterans in Recovery*

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November 29

Reflection for the Day

Another common denominator among those who slip is failure to use the tools of the program—the Twelve Steps. The comments heard most often are “I never did work the Steps,” “I never got past the First Step,” “I worked the steps too slow,” or “too fast” or “too soon.” What it boils down to is that these people considered the Steps but didn’t conscientiously and sincerely apply the Steps to their lives. Am I learning how to protect myself and help others?
Today I Pray

May I be a doer of the Steps and not a hearer only. May I see some of the common mis-Steps that lead to a fall: being too proud to admit Step One; being too tied to everyday earth to feel the presence of a Higher Power; being overwhelmed by the thought of preparing Step Four, a complete moral inventory; being too reticent to share that inventory. Please, Higher Power, guide me as I work the Twelve Steps.
Today I Will Remember

To watch my Steps.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People*

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November 30

Each day we get the gift of hope.

Those of us sharing this program are so fortunate. First, we have a set of suggestions for living with whatever comes our way. This means that no experience will be too much to handle and no person can intimidate us unless we let it happen. Second, we can look to our Higher Power for strength and comfort. We’ll find both. Third, the Twelve Step principles will be internalized in time if we give them steady attention.

But to keep growing, we need to continue our commitment to meetings and newcomers. From them, we’ll get concrete reminders of how we have changed. Our willingness to help newcomers begin their journey of growth will benefit us tenfold. Seeing hope in the eyes of others will remind us of our own blessings.

Today I will offer to someone else a lesson I have learned from experience.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own: Meditations on Hope and Acceptance*