Daily Practice - September

[bluidkiti]

September 16

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 55-
Ch 4- We Agnostics
We finally saw that faith in some kind of God was a part of our make-up, just as much as the feeling we have for a friend. Sometimes we had to search fearlessly, but He was there. He was as much a fact as we were. We found the Great Reality deep down within us. In the last analysis it is only there that He may be found. It was so with us.
We can only clear the ground a bit. If our testimony helps sweep away prejudice, enables you to think honestly, encourages you to search diligently within yourself, then, if you wish, you can join us on the Broad Highway. With this attitude you cannot fail. The consciousness of your belief is sure to come to you.

-Tom- for me, these are 2 of the most Powerful paragraphs in the BB.
They talk about the one place, I had never looked, to find My Higher Power:
Within myself.
My motivation was that I wanted to join them “on the Broad Highway “ stay sober and live differently.
However there are listed requirements I had to commit to:
-sweep away prejudice
-think honestly
-search diligently within myself
But they promised:
With this attitude you cannot fail. The consciousness of your belief is sure to come to you.
So I gave it a whole Hearted shot, and it worked. The consciousness of My Belief came to me for the first time in my Life.
Today I pray that I am given the Willingness to put in the Work, my sobriety requires.

[bluidkiti]

September 18

Practice of the Day-
BB pg-84-
Ch -6- Into Action:
This thought brings us to Step Ten, which suggests we continue to take personal inventory and continue to set right any new mistakes as we go along. We vigorously commenced this way of living as we cleaned up the past. We have entered the world of the Spirit. Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime. Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. Love and tolerance of others is our code.

-Tom- my Sponsor and I spent a lot of time on this one paragraph. It contains the directions for how to live my Life once I finish with my 11th Step “upon awakening.....” .He told me many people think they know what the 10th Step means but there are actually 4 action items in this Step.
The 10th step, on the wall reads:
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
However, as with all the Steps, there are more directions on how to actually do them.
Notice it says “when” these crop up, not “if”;
Selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear.
When these occur, here are the actions within the 10th Step, it says to do:
1. Ask my God, at once to remove them
2. Discuss with someone immediately
3. Make amends quickly, if I have harmed someone
4. Resolutely turn my thoughts to someone we can help.
Cleaning my House is one thing (Steps 4 through 9)
Keeping it clean is another (Steps 10-11)
Today I pray that I continue to grow and learn in the Basics of our Design for Living.

[bluidkiti]

September 19

Practice of the Day-
-AA Responsibility Statement:
I am responsible...When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help, I want the hand of A.A. always to be there. And for that:
I am Responsible.

-Tom- After I had been working with my sponsor for a week or so, one day he said “tell me what you are Grateful for” I said I had nothing to be grateful for, all I ever cared about in my life is gone. He said, well that’s a problem. I said, I agree. He said well there is always one thing you can be grateful for Tom. I said, oh really, so what is that?
He said “ you can always be forever Grateful for Alcoholics Anonymous, because no one else would have your sorry ass”
I wanted to punch him in the face, but I didn’t because it was True.
Before AA, there was only a Living Hell, jails, Institutions and Death if you were an alcoholic/addict. That was it. There was no recovery option.
I often think about, what if there was no one ready and willing to grab my hand when I finally reached out for help?
My Higher Power and my Willingness to Do AA saved my Life, but I couldn’t have done it without my sponsor, I know that.
I asked him one day, “how can I ever repay you for all you have taught me and all you have done for me?” He smiled and said “give to the next man, what I gave to you. That is the only way you can repay me”
If you are attempting to grab the hands that are reaching for help in AA, then you are on track for what was done for you. Continue.
If you are not, I suggest you re read the section above.
Today I pray that I Remember what was Freely Given to me, so that I will do same for another.

[bluidkiti]

September 19

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 63-
Ch 5-How It Works:
We were now at Step Three. Many of us said to our Maker, as we understood Him: “God, I offer myself to Thee—to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I might better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love and Thy Way of Life. May I do Thy will always!” We thought well before taking this step making sure we were ready; that we could at last abandon ourselves utterly to Him.

-Tom- As mentioned before, sobriety is not free. In this prayer I am asking my God for things and saying the things I will do in conjunction “relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do Thy will” I get the Gift of sobriety, then I must perform the work.
One of the greatest gifts in my life was as a result of doing a 3rd step with a buddy of mine, that I Love dearly. The time we shared; hands joined, knees bent, in the presence of our Creator, on Sacred Ground, praying the 3rd step prayer together, I will always cherish.
You see, My Friend could not or would not see our way of Life, so he took his own.
As for me, I am eternally Grateful for the precise clear cut directions of the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous that enable me to truly Live Life as a Free Man.
I can ask myself “did I say my 3rd step prayer today?”
If your answer is yes, then Continue on with the rest of your step work and enjoy a day of Freedom from the bondage of self and helping others.
If your answer is no, then take out your BB and pray the 3rd step prayer, then Continue.
I pray that today my Creator keeps me close to Him so that He May be able to match Calamity with Serenity, that occurs in my Life

[bluidkiti]

September 20

Practice of the Day-
BB pg xxii-
Ch- Foreword To The Third Edition:
(March 1976)
The basic principles of the A.A. Program, it appears, hold good for individuals with many different lifestyles, just as the program has brought recovery to those of many different nationalities. The Twelve Steps that summarize the program may be called Los Doce Pasos in one country, les Douze Etapes in another, but they trace exactly the same path to recovery that was blazed by the earliest members of Alcoholics Anonymous.
In spite of the great increase in the size and the span of this Fellowship, at its core it remains simple and personal. Each day, somewhere in the world, recovery begins when one alcoholic talks with another alcoholic, sharing experience, strength and hope.

-Tom- all my life I wanted to be part of something Big, Powerful, Special, World changing, Purposeful and really made a difference in people’s lives. That is one of the reasons I loved the Military so much. Then the wreckage of my past and untreated alcoholism got in the way of that Desire.
Once I got sober and was living the 12 Steps, to the best of my ability, I found all of that in The Program and The Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. I chose that their primary purpose: to stay sober and help another alcoholic to achieve sobriety, was now also my purpose. With that in place, I knew where I was, where I was going and who I was going with. What a relief and super bad ass!
I have been to meetings and worked with alcoholics all over this planet: Mexico, Colombia, England, Ecuador, Germany, Iraq, Nicaragua, Australia and more. All my life I have looked for a place to fit in. Since I got sober I fit into many places but none of them compare to A.A.
Today I pray that I have the Strength to fulfill My primary purpose: to stay sober and help another alcoholic to achieve sobriety.

[bluidkiti]

September 21

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 84-85-
Ch 6- Into Action:
(Some of the 10th Step Promises)
And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone-even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality-safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is our experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.

-Tom- After Doing Steps 1 through 8 and all the amends I could in my 9th Step, my Sponsor and I read this paragraph together. As we read, he kept stopping and asking me, “is this true in your Life, Yes or no?” To my surprise, my answer was and is , yes.
In the 2nd Step I owned my insanity: “Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity”
After fully doing Steps 1-10, to the best of my ability, I received The Miracle of Alcoholics Anonymous in the 10th Step Promise: “For by this time sanity will have returned.”
This was a Gift given to me by focusing on doing the work of each step. However there is a hook at the end: “That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.”
My job is to do the Work and leave the outcome of the Work to my Higher Power.
Today I pray that I remember that I can’t stay sober today, off of yesterday’s work.

[bluidkiti]

September 22

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 31-
Ch 3- More About Alcoholism:
Here are some of the methods we have tried: Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off forever (with and without a solemn oath), taking more physical exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums-we could increase the list ad infinitum.

-Tom- My sponsor asked me if I had ever tried any of these methods? I said yes, most of them and some that were not on that particular list.
He asked me does your drinking cause problems for you in your life? I said yes, pretty much any major problems going on in my life are because of what happens when I drink.
He asked, then why don’t you just stop drinking?
I said at first I didn’t stop because I didn’t want to, now it’s because I can’t stop.
He said, that’s because alcohol is not your problem, it’s your only solution. So when you stop drinking you are stopping your solution and are only left with your problem.
Made logical sense to me and was absolutely accurate.
Today I pray for the ability to seek the Solution for my problem, which is found in The Program and The Fellowship of A.A.

[bluidkiti]

September 23

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 16-
Ch 1, Bills Story:
An alcoholic in his cups is an unlovely creature. Our struggles with them are variously strenuous, comic, and tragic. One poor chap committed suicide in my home. He could not or would not see our way of life.
There is, however, a vast amount of fun about it all. I suppose some would be shocked at our seeming worldliness and levity. But just underneath there is deadly earnestness. Faith has to work twenty-four hours a day in and through us, or we perish.
Most of us feel we need look no further for Utopia. We have it with us right here and now. Each day my friend’s simple talk in our kitchen multiplies itself in a widening circle of peace on earth and good will to men.

-Tom- “an alcoholic in his cups is an unlovely creature”. For me, that is really churching it up. I was an absolute Monster. I brought to AA nothing but hate, anger, violence, aggressive attitude, rebellion and a bunch more not good stuff.
Y’all took me in and showed me the only thing could penetrate all those walls; human kindness and genuine unconditional Love.
Also, y’all did not accept unacceptable behavior. You didn’t kick me out or abandon me. You said,
”keep coming back”it was constant and baffling to me, and the only thing I did not have a defense against. It broke me.
You see all the acts we do in AA; sweeping floors, making coffee, giving people rides, listening to someone share, greeting people at the door, cleaning the bathroom at the meeting hall, sponsorship, helping people move, cutting people’s grass, late night talks, etc
All of these and much more, are,
Acts of Love.
In AA, we do Love. We don’t talk about it, think about it or preach about it,
We Do it.
I can ask myself “am I doing acts of Love with those who’s space I occupy?”
If your answer is yes, then Continue to do your acts of Love and enjoy the Happiness and contentment those acts bring.
If your answer is no, then write a Gratitude list and do something for someone without them knowing who did it, and see what that experience feels like.
Today I pray that I remember how hard it was for me to get sober, and give others the same compassion and kindness.

[bluidkiti]

September 24

BB pg 77-78
Ch- Into Action
(some directions for 9th Step, Amends)
Under no condition do we criticize such a person or argue. Simply we tell him that we will never get over drinking until we have done our utmost to straighten out the past. We are there to sweep off our side of the street, realizing that nothing worth while can be accomplished until we do so, never trying to tell him what he should do. His faults are not discussed. We stick to our own. If our manner is calm, frank, and open, we will be gratified with the results.
In nine cases out of ten the unexpected happens. Sometimes the man we are calling upon admits his own fault, so feuds of years’ standing melt away in an hour. Rarely do we fail to make satisfactory progress. Our former enemies sometimes praise what we are doing and wish us well. Occasionally they will offer assistance. It should not matter, however, if someone does throw us out of his office. We have made our demonstration, done our part. It’s water over the ****.

-Tom- The actions of the 9th step is where the rubber meets the road. Do I really mean what I say? Do I really trust My Creator? Do I really trust the process of the 12 Steps?
The answer is in our actions.
If I am doing my amends, then the answer is a loud and thundering yes. If I am not, then it is a whimpering no, and I am in a lot of trouble and don’t even know it.
Doing a hard amends is a tremendous act of Courage. Acts of Courage change Everything, especially ourselves.
It is important for me to know what courage feels like before and during the act. In my experience courage feels horrible, anxiety, worry, over thinking, fear,nausea ,etc..............However after the Courageous act it only feels like one thing.......Freedom
I must always remember why I must make amends. It’s not forgiveness. It’s not because they deserve it. It is so that I can be Free of it and move on to a better Life for me and my Family.
Do I want to be right, or do I want to be Free?
Today I pray that I have the Courage to do what I need to do, and continue to grow, with Grace.

[bluidkiti]

September 25

BB pg XXVii, XXiX
Ch-The Doctors Opinion
Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks—drinks they see others taking with impunity. After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the
well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change, there is very little hope of his recovery.

-Tom- at the beginning of my sobriety, all I was doing was not drinking, going to meetings and reading the BB, stark raving dry. One day at a meeting I got tricked by an old timer. He asked me, “why do you drink?” I said, cause I like the taste of Miller Lite and Jim Beam. He said “ok, well when not drinking those, is there any kind of sodas you like the taste of?” I said yeah, Pepsi. He said,”ok, so you like the taste of Pepsi, have you ever sat down and drank a case of Pepsi one after the other as fast as you could?” I said, no, that is stupid.
He said, “ok so tell me again why you drink?”
I said, “whatever” and walked off.
Of course later I thought about what he said and I realized that I drank because I HAD to change the way I felt.
Before AA, not drinking/sober felt like, restless, irritable, discontent, anxiety, shame, fury, guilt, worry,remorse, loneliness,depression, angry etc....all at once. It was horrible and a living Hell.
Alcohol was not my problem, it was the only solution I had to all my problems. So when my only solution was taken away, all I was left with was problems.
I am sober today through the Grace of God which I found through the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, and as the results of the 12 Steps, I received a psychic change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism.

[bluidkiti]

September 26

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 82-
Ch- Into Action:
If we have no such complication, there is plenty we should do at home. Sometimes we hear an alcoholic say that the only thing he needs to do is to keep sober. Certainly he must keep sober, for there will be no home if he doesn’t. But he is yet a long way from making good to the wife or parents whom for years he has so shockingly treated. Passing all understanding is the patience mothers and wives have had with alcoholics. Had this not been so, many of us would have no homes today, would perhaps be dead.
The alcoholic is like a tornado roaring his way through the lives of others. Hearts are broken. Sweet relationships are dead. Affections have been uprooted. Selfish and inconsiderate habits have kept the home in turmoil. We feel a man is unthinking when he says that sobriety is enough. He is like the farmer who came up out of his cyclone cellar to find his home ruined. To his wife, he remarked, “Don’t see anything the matter here, Ma. Ain’t it grand the wind stopped blowin?”

-Tom- my sponsor set me straight from the beginning “Tom, we don’t get any pats on the back for being Grateful, doing our step work, taking direction from our sponsor, going to meetings or working with other alcoholics. All of that just puts us in a position to live in a manner in which we should have been doing all along. We have a lot of work to do to make things right in our lives and there are many who need the opportunity we were Given”
I can ask myself “ do the people in my life hold me accountable and inspire me to be and do better?
Or do they buy into my bull**** and let me get away with not being accountable and feel sorry for me?”
There is a saying, not in the BB, it says “show me your friends and that will show you your future”
Today I pray that I have the Courage to choose wisely, the company that I keep.

[bluidkiti]

September 27

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 76-
Ch- Into Action:
If we can answer to our satisfaction, we then look at Step Six. We have emphasized willingness as being indispensable. Are we now ready to let God remove from us all the things which we have admitted are objectionable? Can He now take them all—every one? If we still cling to something we will not let go, we ask God to help us be willing.
When ready, we say something like this: “My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go from here, to do your bidding. Amen.”
We have then completed Step Seven.

-Tom- the Seventh Step prayer was the first prayer I could 100% pray Honestly because I am giving Him the good and the bad. For me that was Real Hope,
Also what I love about steps 6 and 7, there is no show going on, no audience, no one to impress, no one saying if they think I did it right or really meant it, it’s just me and My Creator sorting some Real **** out. Big boy and Big girl stuff.
The obsession to drink/drug is removed somewhere along the steps, guaranteed by the 12th. For me it happened after I completed the 7th step prayer.
I can ask myself “when was the last time I got down on my knees and communicated the 7th step prayer to my Higher Power?”
If the answer is, today, then Continue.
If the answer is not today, then stop right now and communicate it.
If the answer is, I am not there yet in the steps, then get there as fast as your Sponsor will allow.
I pray that today I Remember that my Sobriety is contingent on my Willingness to engage in my own Step Work.

[bluidkiti]

September 28

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 21
Ch 2-There is a Solution:
Here is the fellow that has been puzzling you, especially in his lack of control. He does absurd, incredible, tragic things while drinking. He is a real Dr Jekyll and Mr Hide. He is seldom mildly intoxicated. He is always more or less insanely drunk. His disposition while drinking resembles his normal nature but little. He may be one of the finest fellows in the world. Yet let him drink for a day, and he frequently becomes disgustingly, and even dangerously
anti-social. He has a positive genius for getting tight at exactly the wrong moment, particularly when some important decision must be made or engagement kept. He is often perfectly sensible and well balanced concerning everything except liquor, but in that respect he is incredibly dishonest and selfish. He often possesses special abilities, skills and aptitudes, and has a promising career ahead of him. He uses his gifts to build up a bright outlook for his family and himself, and then pulls the structure down on his head by a senseless series of sprees........

-Tom- my sponsor would often stop and ask me if I could relate to the what we read. He said it was very important because if I could not relate to what we were reading and talking about, why would I continue?
Another reason why it is important for me to relate is because I suffer from
Terminal Uniqueness.
Terminal Uniqueness requires that I cannot relate to anyone and no one or nothing can relate to me. It sounds like this “you don’t know me, you don’t understand what I’ve been through, this will never work, you just don’t get it, I am different, my issues are different than yours, I’m just too damaged.......etc”
All my life, I had looked for the “differences”, and I found them.
Sobriety taught me to discard the differences and look for the “similarities”, and I found them.
Whatever I am “looking for”, I will find.
I pray that today I look for similarities and not just pick out the differences.

[bluidkiti]

September 29

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 60-
Ch 5- How It Works:
Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:
(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives
(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.
(c) That God could and would if He were sought.
Being convinced, we were at Step Three, which is that we decided to turn our will and our life over to God as we understood Him. Just what do we mean by that, and what do we do?

-Tom- at this point, my sponsor asked me if I was convinced that a,b and c were true in my life. He then turned them into direct questions -example- “are you convinced that you are an alcoholic and could not manage your own life?” same for b and c. I was convinced and said yes to all three. He said because you are convinced, we can Continue.
This is also where the rubber meets the road on how much time and effort I have put into developing my “own conception of God”. If I have not put the work into constructing my own understanding of God, why would I turn my thinking and my actions over to something I don’t know or trust?
The answer is simple,
I won’t and will continue to half ass the program and wonder why it didn’t work.
My sponsor was key in slowing me down, making me think about what I was doing and why I was doing it. On my own I would have just tried to go as fast as I could and make mistakes without knowing it.
My sponsor knew better.
Today I pray that I remember learning to live without drinking is a one day at a time Adventure and I cannot do it on my own.

[bluidkiti]

September 30

Practice of the day-
BB pg 6-
Ch 1- Bill’s Story:
The remorse, horror and hopelessness of the next morning are unforgettable. The courage to do battle was not there. My brain raced uncontrollably and there was a terrible sense of impending calamity. I hardly dared cross the street, lest I collapse and be run down by a early morning truck, for it was scarcely daylight. An all night place supplied me with a dozen glasses of ale. My writhing nerves were stilled at last. A morning paper told me the market had gone to hell again. Well, so had I. The market would recover, but I wouldn’t. That was a hard thought. Should I kill myself? No—not now. Then a mental fog settled down. Gin would fix that. So two bottles, and—oblivion.

-Tom- That is very similar to my story of my last few months of drinking to live and living to drink. Getting to oblivion was the goal, and I did, only problem is I couldn’t stay there and had to start the living Hell all over again, and again, and again, and again.
Early sobriety was the hardest thing I’ve ever done my entire life. They told me it was supposed to be hard, that was normal.
But my sponsor said He guaranteed I could do it if I just kept doing the basics everyday:
-Gratitude list
-Communication with my Higher Power
-Do my Step Work
-Go to a Meeting
-Talk with my Sponsor
My sobriety requires a daily commitment, and, if you are like me, I suspect yours does too. I am responsible for my own sobriety. Not my sponsor, family, friends, I am responsible to do the Work.
I pray that today I remember where I come from, so I don’t have to go back.