Daily Gratitude February 12 2014 - responsibility

[irenehollimon]

I am so grateful today I can choose to be responsible. My alcoholic lifestyle allowed me to run away from all my responsibilities. To this day, I don't consider myself a very responsible person. But with the help of the program, I've learned to take it one day at a time and do what I can today. A little over ten years ago, my father died after a battle with cancer. I was there during the last year of his life but I also wasn't "there" either. My alcoholic life allowed me not see what was happening allowed me not to believe- so much so that when it actually happened and my father died- I was shocked. I had been there for a year and I didn't see it coming. When my mother would talk about those last days with with my father, she would how wonderful it was of my ex husband to sit with him be with him. As for me I didn't like my father all that much and I could not be bothered to spend time with him in his last days. That was my alcoholic lifestyle.
Today, while I regret that, I'm so grateful I have a second chance. I can choose to do it differently today. My mother is now suffering from dementia and alzheimer's. She is in a nursing home now. She hates the place and doesn't understand why she's there. Visiting her can be depressing and hard. How easy it would be for me to just disappear as I have so many times before? With the help of the program, I don't have to do that anymore. I can choose to do the next right thing. Thank you

[MajestyJo]

Welcome to the site Irene. Thank you for sharing. Prayers for you and yours.

As you say, the program makes the difference.

[MajestyJo]

Grateful for a new day.
Grateful that I didn't listen to myself and go back to bed today, even though I didn't have much sleep.
Grateful for the things that fill up my life and give me joy.
Grateful for a good dinner. I made chocolate pudding for dessert. I cooked it, my son served it, and I told him that he didn't give me the right bowl, it had a hole in the bottom of it. He said, "His was like that too."
Grateful that I can laugh at myself in today.
Grateful I got to the library. I told myself I didn't need any more, but got them anyway. I keep thinking, if there is snow, I don't want to run out. Sounds like an addict to me. God and I are working on it.
Grateful for the people who crossed my path in today. Grateful for my God's blessings, they are all Earth Angels and gifts to me.
Grateful for all those who share this journey with me.

[MajestyJo]

Grateful for another day. Each day has been an Olympic day.
Grateful for the sunshine that came out of the snow we had.
Grateful for the blessings each day.
Grateful and proud to be Canadian. Really enjoying the games, plus the Word Dart Tournament. I had 9 trophies in darts for high double in and outs, most double ins and outs, although I only hit 180 three times in my life. The guys hit 140 and 180, several times during a game.
Grateful that I can find enjoyment in these things, even if I can't play any more. If I tried to throw a dart in today, I wouldn't even be able to get it to the board. When I had to stop playing, the darts didn't stay in the board. One of those things I had to grieve, a loss of something that had been a part of my life for many years. Glad that I can now watch them, even if I can no longer play.
Grateful that I finished my book and starting a new one. I read during the commercials.
Grateful for all of you who share this journey with me.

[MajestyJo]

Grateful for another day.
Grateful for this site, that I can come and get food for my body, mind, and spirit.
Grateful my nap today, I woke up with little pain.
Grateful I was able to go downstairs to the mall.
Grateful that I got Onion Chip Dip, think I will have me a snack.
Grateful for all who walk this journey with me.
Grateful for the freedom of recovery.

[MajestyJo]

Grateful for a new day.
Grateful that a day can start any time.
Grateful for all the blessing received and the thoughts given.
Grateful that there is no snow in the forecast, even if it is cold, if the sun is shining it is a good day.
Grateful that I don't have to have a reason or have to justify my actions, such as walking downtown just for the fun of it or taking a break and going for a nap.
Grateful for the fact my freezer is half full and my refrigerator and my pantry are full. My God has been very good to me.
Grateful for all of you who walk this journey with me. We can do what I can't do alone.

[MajestyJo]

Grateful for a new day, the pained lessened and I can think through the pain.
Grateful a day can start any time, start this day way too early and already thinking bed.
Grateful I had leftovers to eat yesterday, wasn't up to cooking.
Grateful that curling has been on. My favourite team didn't make it through this year, they played out of the Coldwater (where I was born and lived for so many years) arena. This year's winner is from Hamilton.
Grateful for those of you who walk this journey with me.
Grateful that each day is a new beginning.

[MajestyJo]

Grateful for a new day. A day full of blessings.
Grateful that over the last week that I didn't have to pick up because of my pain. I didn't abuse myself or people, places, and/or things.
Grateful I was able to go downtown with my son's help.
Grateful it was sunny and not as windy and cold. Temperatures are suppose to get warmer, so even more grateful. I am not going to hold my breathe waiting for it to happen.
Grateful I don't have to put my life on hold waiting for some person, place, or thing to happen. It is a gift, when you live one day at a time.
Grateful for the special blessing I received today. I was walking in the corridor of the mall, and got the thought to go to Cole's Book Store, thought I would check to see if there was any new cards in stock. Found one called Flower Therapy, something new to me. When I went to pay, I was told that I had enough points on my Plum card to get a $5. discount on my purchase. Sounds like God was working in my life.
Grateful for a phone call from my friend who was taking a course, and she got a graduation ticket. She is going into a new course next week, so happy for her.
Grateful for all of you who walk this journey with me.

[Paul G.]

I am grateful for your post Irene. I was still drinking/using when Momma got sick and passed from the cancer 10 years ago. While i did my best to "comfort", i know that my best was lacking. In recovery, i honor my Momma by taking care of my Father, who has dementia. Blessings to all!

[MajestyJo]

Thanks for sharing. God Bless.

My mother passed away at the age of 41 when I was 21 and my dad passed away from his disease at 67. Each holiday I try to honor their memory and am grateful for the good foundation they gave me, even if some of it was dysfunctional, it brought me to the doors of AA.

My mom's sister dies at 83 with dementia. She was my second mother.

[MajestyJo]

Grateful for a new 24 hours, even though I am just putting yesterday to rest.
Grateful that I got all my shopping done.
Grateful that I met up with my long time friend, who just celebrated a birthday.
Grateful our wee talk turned into 90 min.
Grateful I got my book finished.
Grateful that I said no to taking out more books.
Grateful that I got to see our top Canadian player win his match today.
Grateful that I got laundry done.
Grateful that I have fresh clean bedding waiting for me.
Grateful for the gifts received today.
Grateful that I can recognize God given Gifts.
Grateful for all of you who walk this journey with me.

[MajestyJo]

Grateful for another day.
Grateful that it is raining, I can't run away from home and I can do some catch up, on the computer and my housekeeping.
Grateful for this day which my God as made.
Grateful that He will lead and guide me through it.
Grateful that I remember to ask Him, if I don't remember first thing, it doesn't take long to realize that I hadn't asked Him into my day.
Grateful for the Serenity Prayer. I call it the Go To PGrayer, it covers all the basics.
Grateful that I haven't had too much pain, other than my feet acting up once in a while, and like now, my shoulders are protesting because I have been too long on the computer.
Grateful for the awareness and clarity each day. Something I pray for daily, along with prayers for those of you who walk this journey with me.
Grateful that this is a 'we' program. Together we can.

[MajestyJo]

A grateful alcoholic/addict will never have a reason to pick up. As Irene stated, "I am responsible." I always say to the best of my ability. Because of health issues, I can't always get out to meeting or go for coffee with someone, but I try to take time to listen to them and pass on any info they need, and if I don't know, I suggest places they can go to get it.

Lots of excuses, but no reason. As I was told, "If you have one hand in the hand of a newcomer and the other hand in the Hand of your Higher Power, you won't have any hands left to pick up.

As the program say, "I am responsible when anyone, anywhere, reaches out, I want the AA/NA or any other Fellowship, to reach out and always be there."

You don't have to be a newcomer to hurt. Just for today, I choose not to use. It isn't the substance, it is me and my attitude that needs to change.