NA Just for Today - June 2014

[MajestyJo]

June 16

Accepting Life

"Some things we must accept, others we can change. The wisdom to know the difference comes with growth in our spiritual program."

Basic Text, p.92

It's relatively easy to accept the things we like-it's the things we don't like that are hard to accept. But remaking the world and everyone in it to suit our tastes would solve nothing. After all, the idea that the world was to blame for all our problems was the attitude that kept us using-and that attitude nearly killed us.

In the course of working the steps, we begin to ask ourselves hard questions about the roles we ourselves have played in creating the unacceptable lives we've lived. In most cases, we've found that what needed changing was our own attitude and our own actions, not the people, places, and things around us.

In recovery, we pray for wisdom to know the difference between what can and can't be changed. Then, once we see the truth of our situation, we pray for the willingness to change ourselves.

Just for today: Higher Power, grant me the wisdom to know the difference between what can be changed and what I must accept. Please help me gratefully accept the life I've been given.

Acceptance has been the key to life. I was sharing with the nurse practiioner who came today to bandage my feet. With my arthritis and all the extra issues going on in today, it is important to accept what is. I ask myself what I need to do, how I can do it, and if I shouldn't do and leave it all up to my God.

Some days the pain feels not acceptable, but it is often what I did or didn't do, that got me to where I am in today. It doesn't have to be prior to recovery, I am still human and can get in the way of my health and well being. I sometimes ifnd myself just sitting in it, accepting what it is, but accepting that there are things I can do to make it better.

[MajestyJo]

June 17

Walls

"Reaching out is the beginning of the struggle that will set us free. It will break down the walls that imprison us."

Basic Text, p.80

Many of us came to NA emotionally shattered. Years of using people and allowing them to use us had taken their toll on our ability to trust anyone, ourselves included. But the love and acceptance we found in Narcotics Anonymous encouraged us to reach out and get close to others.

The longer we stayed clean, the more we began to long for greater intimacy with our loved ones. We began reaching out in deeper, more meaningful ways, even though we might get hurt. Despite our fears of rejection, we decided to risk revealing ourselves, our beliefs, and our needs. We decided to let down our defensive walls.

The freedom we've found has been worth the risk involved. We know there is still work to do before we will be completely free of the barriers built by years of active addiction. But by reaching out to other addicts and allowing them to reach out to us, despite our human failings, we have come to know that we have a great capacity for love and intimacy. When set free of their restraining walls, our hearts hold great power.

Just for today: I will let down my personal walls and reach out to others. I will allow my heart the freedom to love and be loved.

This was a big thing in my recovery. The walls were tall and thick and had to be taken down, one brick at a time. Sometimes I sabotaged myself,and would build a few bricks back, only to have to take it down again. One of the scariest things for me in recovery was to allow myself to be vulnerable.

[MajestyJo]

June 18

Indirect Amends

"Indirect amends may be necessary where direct ones would be unsafe or endanger other people."

Basic Text, p.40

When we used, we allowed nothing to stand in the way of that next high. As a result, many of us didn't always know precisely whom we had injured, either financially or emotionally. When it came time to make amends through our Ninth Step, we found that there were so many people we had victimized that we might never remember them all.

With the help of our sponsor and other recovering members of NA, we found a solution to this obstacle. We vowed to complete these nameless amends by making restitution to our communities. We focused our service efforts on helping the still-suffering addict. In this manner, we found a way to give back to society.

Today, with the love and guidance of members in NA, we are giving back to the world around us rather than taking. We are making our communities better places to live by carrying the message of recovery to those we encounter in our daily lives.

Just for today: I will make indirect amends by reaching out to an addict who may need help. I will strive in some small way to make my community a better place in which to live.

Because I did most of my using up north of where I am in today, a had a lot of indirect amends. My son wasn't open to any talk about the program or anything about my life in active addiction. He couldn't get by the anger, so it helped me to help the young people who came into recoovery, male and female. I allowed the guys to be themselves and they looked at me as someone who was safe and were able to talk to me.

It says to make an amend, except when to do so would hurt others. I also figured I figured into that equation.

[MajestyJo]

June 19

A Sense Of Humor

"We find that when we lose self-obsession, we are able to understand what it means to be happy, joyous, and free."

Basic Text, p.103

The laughter in our meetings often surprises the newcomer. As a group, we appreciate the healing that healthy laughter brings. Even if we are deeply troubled, the joy that often fills the meeting rooms allows us, for a time, to have some fun with our recovery. Through humor, we can be temporarily relieved of our obsession with self.

Life on life's terms is often anything but funny. But if we can keep a sense of humor about us, things that might overwhelm us can be made bearable. How often have we allowed ourselves to be upset by incidents that, taken with a bit of humor, are not all that intolerable? When we become annoyed with people and events, a search for the humor in the situation can put things in a brighter perspective. An ability to find humor in a difficult situation is a gift to develop.

Just for today: I will look to find the humor in adversity. When I make mistakes, I will find a way to laugh at the humor of my imperfections.

Mine hasn't made itself known too often the last few days. Said to the Property Manager the other day, if I didn't laugh, I would cry. The last couple of days pain has won out and masked it. It was enough is enough already. As they say, "This too shall pass."

[MajestyJo]

June 20

Meditation For Beginners

"For some, prayer is asking for God's help; meditation is listening for God's answer. Quieting the mind through meditation brings an inner peace that brings us into contact with the God within us."

Basic Text, pp.44-45

"Be patient when you're learning to meditate," many of us were told. "It takes practice to know what to ‘listen’ for."

We're glad someone told us that, or many of us would have quit after a week or two of meditating. For the first few weeks, we may have sat each morning, stilled our thoughts, and "listened", just as the Basic Text said-but "heard" nothing. It may have taken a few more weeks before anything really happened. Even then, what happened was often barely noticeable. We were rising from our morning meditations feeling just a little better about our lives, a little more empathy for those we encountered during the day, and a little more in touch with our Higher Power.

For most of us, there was nothing dramatic in that awareness - no bolts of lightning or claps of thunder. Instead, it was something quietly powerful. We were taking time to get our egos and our ideas out of the way. In that clear space, we were improving our conscious contact with the source of our daily recovery, the God of our understanding. Meditation was new, and it took time and practice. But, like all the steps, it worked - when we worked it.

Just for today: I will practice "listening" for knowledge of God's will for me, even if I don't know what to "listen" for yet.

Learning to quiet the mind so that you can hear Good Orderly Direction.

[MajestyJo]

June 21
New Levels Of Honesty

"We have been experts at self-deception and rationalization."

Basic Text, p. 27
When we come to our first meeting and hear that we must be honest, we may think, "Well now, that shouldn't be too difficult. All I have to do is stop lying." To some of us, this comes easily. We no longer have to lie to our employers about our absence from work. We no longer have to lie to our families about where we were the night before. By not using drugs anymore, we find we have less to lie about. Some of us may have difficulty even with this kind of honesty, but at least learning not to lie is simple - you just don't do it, no matter what. With courage, determined practice, the support of our fellow NA members, and the help of our Higher Power, most of us eventually succeed at this kind of honesty.

Honesty, though, means more than just not lying. The kind of honesty that is truly indispensable in recovery is self-honesty, which is neither easy nor simple to achieve. In our addiction, we created a storm of self-deception and rationalization, a whirlwind of lies in which the small, quiet voice of self-honesty could not be heard. To become honest with ourselves, we first must stop lying to ourselves. In our Eleventh Step meditations, we must become quiet. Then, in the resulting stillness, we must listen for truth. When we become silent, self-honesty will be there for us to find.

Just for today: I will be quiet and still, listening for the voice of truth within myself. I will honor the truth I find.

Like this, true self-honest takes a lot of healing and awareness.

Step Three in the AA Big Book, asked us to listen for the quiet and in the stillness say the Serenity Prayer.

Once we have come into agreement with these ideas, it is really easy to begin the practice of Step Three. In all times of emotional disturbance or indecision, we can pause, ask for quiet, and in the stillness simply say: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Thy will, not mine, be done."

This may be from that 'other' fellowship, but the words are the same even though the substance may not be your drug of choice.

[MajestyJo]

July 22

Spiritual Death

"For us, to use is to die, often in more ways than one."

Basic Text, p.78

As newcomers, many of us came to our first meeting with only a small spark of life remaining. That spark, our spirit, wants to survive. Narcotics Anonymous nurtures that spirit. The love of the fellowship quickly fans that spark into a flame. With the Twelve Steps and the love of other recovering addicts, we begin to blossom into that whole, vital human being our Higher Power intended us to be. We begin to enjoy life, finding purpose in our existence. Each day we choose to stay clean, our spirit is revitalized and our relationship with our God grows. Our spirit becomes stronger each day we choose life by staying clean.

Despite the fact that our new life in recovery is rewarding, the urge to use can sometimes be overwhelming. When everything in our lives seems to go wrong, a return to using can seem like the only way out. But we know what the consequence will be if we use - the loss of our carefully nurtured spirituality. We have traveled too far along the spiritual path to dishonor our spirit by using. Snuffing the spiritual flame we have worked so hard to restore in our recovery is too dear a price to pay for getting high.

Just for today: I am grateful that my spirit is strong and vital. Today, I will honor that spirit by staying clean.

Using was never an option, when I use, I block the healing Spirit from reaching me.

Tonight I am too tired and in too much pain to post.

[MajestyJo]

June 23

Surrender

"We didn't stumble into this fellowship brimming with love, honesty, open-mindedness, or willingness....When we were beaten, we became willing."

Basic Text, p. 20

Surrender may be the necessary foundation for recovery, but sometimes we fight it. Most of us look back after some clean time and wonder why on earth we fought so hard to deny our powerlessness when surrender is what finally saved our lives.

As we recover, new opportunities to surrender present themselves. We can either struggle with everyone and everything we encounter or we can recall the benefits of our first surrender and stop fighting.

Most of the pain we experience comes from fighting, not surrendering. In fact, when we surrender, the pain ends and hope takes its place. We begin to believe that all will be well and, after some time, realize that our lives are much better as a result. We feel the same way we did when we gave up the illusion that we could control our using-relieved, free, and filled with fresh hope.

Just for today: Is there a surrender I need to make today? I will remember my first surrender and remind myself that I don't need to fight anymore.

When I surrender I am empowered to do what I need to do to stay clean and sober. Just for today, I choose not to use, no matter what.

[MajestyJo]

June 24

Tolerance

"...ever reminding us to place principles before personalities."

Tradition Twelve

Sometimes it's hard to accept others' character defects. As we recover together, we not only listen to others talk in meetings, we also watch how they walk through their recovery. The more we get to know other members, the more we become aware of how they live their lives. We may form opinions about how they "work their program." We may find that certain members upset us, or we may even hear ourselves say, "If I worked their program, I would surely use."

We have found tolerance to be a principle that not only strengthens our own recovery but also our relationships with individuals who are a source of irritation to us. It becomes easier to accept other members' frailties when we remember that we ourselves rarely turn over our own character defects until we become painfully aware of them.

Just for today: I will strive to accept others as they are. I will try not to judge others. I will focus on the principles of love and acceptance.

A newcomer asked me at a NA meeting one night, "Why do they always say 'Principles before personalities' over and over again?" I said, "Because we have short term memory loss!" They say it so we won't forget.

When I see the word "tolerance" I remember what I was told, "Be careful of what you pray for, you just might get it. If you pray for patience and tolerance, you get things to tolerate to test your patience on.

We are all sick, me I was one of the really sick ones, and it took me a long time to recover from the insanity of this dis-ease we have.

[MajestyJo]

June 25

Not Just Lucky

"The process of coming to believe restores us to sanity. The strength to move into action comes from this belief."

Basic Text p. 24

Coming to believe is a process that stems from personal experience. Each of us has this experience; all addicts who find recovery in NA have solid evidence of a benevolent Power acting for good in their lives. Those of us who are recovering today, after all, are the fortunate ones. Many, many addicts die from our disease, never to experience what we have found in Narcotics Anonymous.

The process of coming to believe involves a willingness to recognize miracles for what they are. We share the miracle of being here clean, and each of us has other miracles that await only our acknowledgment. How many car accidents or overdoses or other near-catastrophes have we survived? Can we look back at our lives and see that we were not just "lucky"? Our experience in recovery, too, gives us examples of a Higher Power working for our good.

When we can look back at the evidence of a loving Higher Power acting on our behalf, it becomes possible to trust that this Higher Power will continue to help us in the future. And trust offers us the strength to move forward.

Just for today: My recovery is more than coincidence. My strength comes from the knowledge that my Higher Power has never let me down and will continue to guide me.

Don't like the word lucky. I grew up believing "something that is God given." If there is luck, it is often of our making because we did the do things, followed the guidance and thoughts we were given to bring things about. But then there is 'dumb' luck, which often brings people to think they can do things without the God of their understanding or the misunderstood their God and followed their own will, which let them to what they wanted, rather than waiting on His/Her will.

[MajestyJo]

June 26

Surrendering Self-Will

"Our fears are lessened and faith begins to grow as we learn the true meaning of surrender. We are no longer fighting fear, anger, guilt, self-pity, or depression."

Basic Text p. 26

Surrender is the beginning of a new way of life. When driven primarily by self-will, we constantly wondered whether we'd covered all the bases, whether we'd manipulated that person in just the right way to achieve our ends, whether we'd missed a critical detail in our efforts to control and manage the world.

We either felt afraid, fearing our schemes would fail; angry or self-pitying when they fell through; or guilty when we pulled them off. It was hard, living on self-will, but we didn't know any other way.

Not that surrender is always easy. On the contrary, surrender can be difficult, especially in the beginning. Still, it's easier to trust God, a Power capable of managing our lives, than to trust only ourselves, whose lives are unmanageable. And the more we surrender, the easier it gets.

When we turn our will and our lives over to the care of our Higher Power, all we have to do is our part, as responsibly and conscientiously as we can. Then we can leave the results up to our Higher Power. By surrendering, acting on faith, and living our lives according to the simple spiritual principles of this program, we can stop worrying and start living.

Just for today: I will surrender self-will. I will seek knowledge of God's will for me and the power to carry it out. I will leave the results in my Higher Power's hands.

My sister said to me a few months ago, "You were never known for your will power." What I had was a lot of wilfulness and attitude.

What I didn't have was a lot of won't power.

[MajestyJo]

June 27

Change And Growth

"When someone points out a shortcoming, our first reaction may be defensive. There will always be room for growth."

Basic Text, p. 35

Recovery is a process that brings about change in our lives. We need that change if we are to continue our growth toward freedom. It's important that we remain open-minded when others point out our shortcomings, for they are bringing to light opportunities for us to change and grow. Reacting defensively limits our ability to receive the help they are offering us; letting go of our defenses opens the door to change, growth, and new freedom.

Each day in the recovery process will bring an opportunity for further change and growth. The more we learn to greet change with an open mind and heart, the more we will grow and the more comfortable we will become with our recovery.

Just for today: I will greet each opportunity for growth with an open mind.

If there isn't a willingness to change, there is no growth.

Even my son, who is a self-admitted addict, who has been in treatment several times, quoted to me yesterday, "Nothing changes, if nothing changes."

[MajestyJo]

June 28, 2014

Group conscience

Page 186

"Working with others is only the beginning of service work."

Basic Text, p. 59

Service work calls for a selfless devotion to carrying the message to the still-suffering addict. But our attitude of service cannot stop there. Service also requires that we look at ourselves and our motives. Our efforts at service make us highly visible to the fellowship. In NA, it is easy to become a "big fish in a little pond." Our controlling attitude can easily drive away the newcomer.

Group conscience is one of the most important principles in service. It is vital to remember that the group conscience is what counts, not just our individual beliefs and desires. We lend our thoughts and beliefs to the development of a group conscience. Then when that conscience arises, we accept its guidance. The key is working with others, not against them. If we remember that we strive together to develop a collective conscience, we will see that all sides have equal merit. When all the discussions are over, all sides will come back together to carry a unified message.

It is often tempting to think that we know what is best for the group. If we remember that it doesn't matter if we get our way, then it is easier to allow service to be the vehicle it is intended to be - a way to carry the message to the addict who still suffers.

Just for Today: I will take part in the development of group conscience. I will remember that the world won't end just because I don't get my way. I will think about our primary purpose in all my service efforts. I will reach out to a newcomer.

If your group isn't getting newcomers, may I suggest a group conscience meeting.

[MajestyJo]

June 29

Keeping Recovery Fresh

"Complacency is the enemy of members with substantial clean time. If we remain complacent for long, the recovery process ceases."

Basic Text, p.80

After the first couple of years in recovery, most of us start to feel like there are no more big deals. If we've been diligent in working the steps, the past is largely resolved and we have a solid foundation on which to build our future. We've learned to take life pretty much as it comes. Familiarity with the steps allows us to resolve problems almost as quickly as they arise.

Once we discover this level of comfort, we may tend to treat it as a "rest stop" on the recovery path. Doing so, however, discounts the nature of our disease. Addiction is patient, subtle, progressive, and incurable. It's also fatal-we can die from this disease, unless we continue to treat it. And the treatment for addiction is a vital, ongoing program of recovery.

The Twelve Steps are a process, a path we take to stay a step ahead of our disease. Meetings, sponsorship, service, and the steps always remain essential to ongoing recovery. Though we may practice our program somewhat differently with five years clean than with five months, this doesn't mean the program has changed or become less important, only that our practical understanding has changed and grown. To keep our recovery fresh and vital, we need to stay alert for opportunities to practice our program.

Just for today: As I keep growing in my recovery, I will search for new ways to practice my program.

When in doubt, go to a meetings. If you can't get to a meeting, pick up the phone. If you don't have phone numbers, it is best you get them. They were a big part of my recovery. I lost my phone book once and I filled up with fear, because I felt that withoui those numbers, I would relapse. I was fortunate, I didn't lose them all. I was living with my friend and she had copied most of them to the directory on her phone.

When I need to freshen my recovery, I go back to basics.

[MajestyJo]

June 30

Maintaining The Foundation

"Our newly found faith serves as a firm foundation for courage in the future."

Basic Text p. 93

The foundation of our lives is what the rest of our lives is built upon. When we were using, that foundation affected everything we did. When we decided that recovery was important, that's where we began to put our energy. As a result, our whole lives changed. In order to maintain those new lives, we must maintain the foundation of those lives: our recovery program.

As we stay clean and our lifestyles change, our priorities will also change. Work and school may become important because they improve the quality of our lives. And new relationships may bring excitement and mutual support. But we need to remember that our recovery program is the foundation upon which our new lives are built. Each day, we must renew our commitment to recovery, maintaining that as our top priority.

Just for today: I want to continue enjoying the life I've found in recovery. Today, I will take steps to maintain my foundation.

A good topic, all structures need maintenance. Steps 10,11, and 12 are for that purpose.