Trusting The Process

[MajestyJo]

"It was the hardest two years of my life," a woman said. "So many painful, unexpected events happened. I felt so abandoned, so lost. I didn't understand what was happening, and I felt tortured by God and life. I didn't think it would ever end. But it did. Now I can look back on that time and say, Wow. Look at all I learned. There's nothing that life can bring my way that I can't handle and get through."

She learned self-confidence. But whether she's conscious of it or not, this woman is beginning to learn the value of trusting the process.

Application:

Sometimes we don't know what we're learning, or whether we're learning anything at all. It's easy to look back on a situation once it has worked itself out and be in awe of the process and all that we learned. The time we most need to trust the journey is when it looks like we can't.

52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie

How true this is, when things get rough, the tough get going. Even my horoscope today told me that I needed to reach out and ask for help, that I am not omnipotent.

Learning to accept things in the day, with the thought that everything is subject to change, give me hope for a better tomorrow. Not only acceptance of my disease, but acceptance of myself, as I am in today, knowing that I am a Child of God and that I am Loved and Worthy of Recovery!

I can't, God can, just for today, I choose to let Him.

Originally posted in 2010

[MajestyJo]

This is a good reread for me today. My attitude has been "If it isn't one thing it is another." I need to change that into something more positive, living in the moment and accept what is in the moment.

Lately I have been back in that old space of being sick and tired of being tired and sick.

I am grateful today for some clarity of thought and being able to think and act through the pain.

Must remember always that this is a we program and to live in the solution, not the problem.

[MajestyJo]

Even though we don't pick up our drug of choice, often we slip into old behavior and patterns, and act out in our disease. Recovery for me was learning to recognize those old habits and changing them in today.

Recovery isn't just about stopping the drinking and drugging, it is about living in today without using.

Temptation comes in many forms. Often to escape it, we reach for a substitution instead of going to our Higher Power for help to resist.

[MajestyJo]

Giving up drinking?

'The best thing for you is to give up drinking.' 'Yeah.. What's the next best thing?' - Anon.

Had to chuckle when I read this. My sponsor told me to change 'EVERYTHING' and it wasn't all about the drinking.

What I did learn was that I needed to quit, just for today, not for ever, not for a month, 90 days, a year, but one day at a time.

Found that drink took me to other things, places, and to people that were not healthy for me. So if I gave up drink, a lot of those other things were no longer in my life. Certainly the people didn't want me to be there if I didn't drink. They didn't want me to admit to a problem, because if I had one, then they might need to look at their own drinking, so best I leave and they can stay in their denial.

Just for today, I choose not to drink. It is an inanimate object until such a time as I choose to ingest it.

[MajestyJo]

Had to laugh about this, as the group I opened, was known for the good coffee. I made coffee for 7 years, taught others how to make it. One member, went home to his own group made coffee and was elected to do it all the time.

We had a home group meeting on Saturday night along with meetings Monday-Friday and a Promises meeting on Friday, so we used a lot of coffee. I suggested that members take a can and make a "God Can" (instead of a God Box).

Had a guy say that he wouldn't come in the morning and do two meetings a day if it wasn't for our coffee. We were working Step 12 and not aware of it. Our coffee was attracting people to us. Our secret was either a pinch of salt or mustard to cut the bitterness and bring out the flavour. Of course, you couldn't skimp on the coffee either.

Our meeting were small, 2-20 and I bought Half & Half each meeting as part of my 7th Tradition.

Wasn't sure if I made the right decision to quit the group and go back to school. I still went Friday and Saturday and did service there. I went to take a computer course. Ended up with a certificate for Business Administration on computers. It allows me to do my volunteer job in today. It helped me to build my sites and post and share on others.

Ironically, when I quit smoking 22 years ago, I quit coffee. I have one every month or two. Coffee didn't taste the same without sugar and a cigarette.

Hope these are not reruns, all I know is the pictures aren't. Original post I made on another site in 2011. Some may have been on the old site.

[MajestyJo]

The process works no matter what your drug of choice is. A drug is anything outside of yourself that becomes your 'god' for the day, you take the drug, and the drug takes you.

[MajestyJo]

Peace comes when one can accept that they are not the center.
Life or the energy of life,is a circle
Everyone, everything shares the same life force call it a spirit,energy,Karma etc etc.
It is important to find a way to feel this.
Sit beneath a giant tree with your back against it block out everything, you will feel the energy flowing from the tree into you.
It seeks to have you part of the circle.
When one becomes apart of the circle they can feel the whole circle.
When I make my self the center I take myself out of the
circle.
It does not matter what belief you want to believe what doctrine you profess.
If you have eyes look around, someone something much much greater than i put this all together.
Nothing is by accident and nothing is written in stone for my human experience I call life.
Feel the life force all around and you can feel peace and serenity.

mender1 - used with permission

One of the greatest feeling that I have experienced in recovery was at my first home group. It was a Women's Discussion Group and we stood up and joined hands after the meeting, gave out chips and read the Promises while in that circle while joining hands and closing with the Lord's Prayer.

I have come close to that feeling several times, but nothing was ever quite as powerful as that group for the first three years of my recovery. I referred to that group as my bread and butter and the Saturday morning meeting as my cake and ice cream. I went to other meetings, but it certainly was home. When I moved it was difficult for me to get there so I joined a Twelve Step Group, which ended up me being the only woman in the group. I started the circle at that group, and then I joined an open meeting with women members and brought the circle there too.

I have been back to the Women's Group several times and am often referred to as an Honorary member. When I am hurting really bad and need to get back to basics, that is one of the places I go when I can.

I am now a member of a Women's CA Discussion Group. I never used Cocaine or Crack, but I am was addicted to Codeine and a new substance called computers. I like it because I have always known I was an addict, some is good, more is better in what ever I choose to do with my life, and their material is AA literature. God willing I will be celebrating 13 years this August, and it wasn't until last year after the AA conference that the words came to me, "I used alcohol like I used everything else in my life!" That phrase brought a lot of peace and serenity to me.

I stole a glass of wine at 10, was given Valium at 16, and didn't start drinking until I was 21. From the time I was 29, I was only governed by the amount that was available. Note that the change took 8 years, yet the first time I went out and drank socially I had 8 rum and coke. They told me in AA that wasn't social drinking. I said it was different than the social drinking I did before I came into recovery. In the last years of my drinking it was, "if you are going to have a drink SO SHALL I!"

I think I shared in my story that I was in Akron, Ohio for my ex-husband's cousin's wedding. I was too sick to drink the wine at the burgundy breakfast the next morning and I was so hung over that I couldn't help with the driving home. Yet I remained in denial about my alcoholism and didn't find acceptance for two years after I got here. I think it just took me that long to detox and for the brain to clear so I could face reality.

Sorry if this is a repeat.