Keys For Living

[MajestyJo]

When I was using and when I fall back into old patterns and habits in today, my decision making is generally around three things, me, myself, and I.

It was always about my drug of choice and what I want and not about what other people wanted. I was the big I am and it was my way or the highway. There were no options, no compromise, no discussion, no avenues other than the direction I wanted and the way I wanted it, which was now, yesterday if possible.

When I learned to do all the things I hadn't been doing to process things and live in today, without using people, places, and things, then I could open my mind and my heart and include others and look at what was good for the whole and it was no just about me. Just for today, that is all I have. I learned to deliberate. If I didn't know, then I leaned to accept it without covering it up with a lot of bluster, promises, confrontation, and threats.

As my spiritual adviser said to me, "If you don't know then the time is not right. If the time was right, then you would know. If you ask that the knowing be given onto you, then it will be there." I have come to believe in this and found it true in my life. It helped me to not beat myself up by meeting unattainable goals and timelines.

So much of my life was should I, shouldn't I. I ended up shoulding all over the place. Then I would rationalize and say, If I did this, and try to figure it out instead of leaving it in God's hands. I would think, "I could do this and this, and again trying to play 'God' with my life instead of letting go and letting my God lead, guide and direct me."

Just for today, my life is in His/Her Hands. I have been in too much pain. Something has to change, and I know it will. My doctor never called back, so call or no call, I have quit the medication. Nothing further can be said to change my mind or make me think I made the wrong decision, even though the pharmacist yesterday told me I should come off it gradually. I haven't wanted to take this medication for a long time. I kept listening to my doctor instead of myself. No more, I need to do what is good for me.

I should have researched it further and things wouldn't have gotten this to this stage. When it started affecting my eyes, enough was enough. I already had an enlarged kidney before the present damage was done. Not waiting for it to affect my heart too. I don't see the internist from the hospital until Sept. 3. I have no desire to wait that long.

One of my pet peeves is a ditherer! I just realized that "that is what I become" when I hum and haw over a decision.

Posted on another site on 2011

Step Three says we come to a decision. We can put our life in God's Care or we can go on, in our old merry way, which generally ends up in natural disaster. We plunge in with no thought of the consequences.

[MajestyJo]

CHANGE OF ATTITUDE



-Your attitude decides whether you are happy or not. You can change your attitude.

-Happiness is a state of mind. More correctly put, it is the state beyond the mind.

-It is our attitude that makes us feel happy or unhappy.

-Your thoughts and worries hide away your happiness.

-If you smile while you talk, you make people happy.

-A calm and detached mind is the gate to true happiness.

-Happiness is experienced after a problem has been solved, a fear has disappeared or after realizing a desire. At this moment the mind is released from it fears, worries and desires and becomes quiet, letting the happiness emerge.

-Look at the happy side of life, and you will develop the happiness habit.

-Learn to laugh. This will make you feel better.

-Focusing your mind on everything that you, do increases your control over your mind, which makes it easier for the inner joy to manifest.

-Your inner nature is bliss and joy. Clean your mind and you will find this treaSure within you.

-When you wake up from deep sleep you feel happy. This is because the mind was quiet. If you are able to make your mind quiet in your waking hours you will experience happiness.

received with thanks from Inspiration Plus

[MajestyJo]

FREE TO BE YOU

Watch your attitudes, know that you are responsible for yourself and not others. Realize that all judgment of, criticism of, condemnation, and anger towards other people is to be released to their own good. Bless all people as they travel the highway of life and always remember that you are free to be you. And therefore, everybody else is free to be themselves.

Begin to enjoy everyone around you. Keep in mind that love, intelligence and courage is always present enabling us to always be who we are. We can rise up and accomplish all that we desire and maintain the joy, happiness and fulfillment we seek - all we need do is practice our spiritual exercises, study and act as we believe with deep faith. II TIMOTHY 1: 7 reads, "For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but the power and love and sound mind."

Antestian Newsletter - Road to Enlightenment

Something I posted in 2010

[MajestyJo]

"If life is a bowl of cherries, what am I doing in the pits?"

-- Erma Bombeck

When I saw this, I thought it read, "What am I doing with the pits?"

Both are worth thought and require action on my part. The 12 Steps are applicable to both.

Am I practicing the principles in all my affairs? Do I work the Steps into my daily life? Do I just think program in meetings and leave my program at the door when I go home, to work, or out into the community?

Do I think, oh woe is me? I am an alcoholic. I am so hard done by, forgetting that I should be grateful that I have found this new way of living. If I wasn't an alcoholic, I wouldn't have known that there was a chance at recovery.

Do I sometimes need to eat my words? Do I give others a second thought? Am I so caught up in self that I don't have time for others?

[MajestyJo]

WE CAN HANDLE ALL THAT COMES TO US

We are never divorced from our past - we are in company with it forever, and it acquaints us with the present. Our responses today reflect our experiences yesterday. And these roots lie in the past. We look at the past, check that which appears to be negative and mentally correct it by handling it in our mind as we would now. Then release it and begin again fresh and new. Everyday is offering us preparation for the future, for lessons to come, without which we'd not offer our full measures to the design which contains the development of all of us. Our experiences, past and present are not coincidental. We will be introduced to those experiences that are consistent with our talents and the right lessons designated for the part we are requested to play in life. We can remember that no experiences will attract us that are beyond our capabilities to handle.

PEARL S. BUCK wrote, "One faces the future with one's past."

Are you able to recognize situations in your past and mentally correct them now?

- Antestian Newsletter

As The Promises in AA say, "We will not regret the past or wish to shut the door on it."

eally like this, if I don't think or I am not aware of my past, I just might continue to act out in my disease. Like the Five As, I need to be aware I have a problem, I have to admit to it, I have to accept it so I can take action to change my attitude, and/or change my attitude so I can take action.

Another thing I found was that I can't base my future on my past, that person isn't any more. In today, I take my God with me.

We never know what is going to happen each day, we never know what is coming our way, and what we need to handle. Life on life's terms, means stay clean and sober, using the Steps and going to our Higher Power for Good Orderly Direction.

This past week to ten days, has been a prime example of this. So grateful my God is Comforter, Creator, Master, Teacher, Counsellor, and all things that I need in today.

[MajestyJo]

PERSONAL WORTH:

No matter how intelligent, attractive, or talented you may be - to the degree you doubt your worthiness you tend to sabotage your recovery efforts and undermine your relationships. Life is full of gifts and opportunities; you will open to receive and enjoy them to the degree that you begin to appreciate your innate worth, and to offer to yourself the same compassion and respect that you would give to others. Discovering your worth sets your spirit free.

Many factors shape our lives, including beliefs, support systems, motivation, relationships, family dynamics, fate, karma. But the central premise is that our sense of self-worth is the single most important determinant of the health, abundance, and joy we allow into our lives. Discovering your Worth is no more or less important than other potentials but only when you recognize your personal worth will you be open to other life potentials. Discovering your worth provides a foundation from which to build, one potential at a time, a new way of life. Finding your worth is the first step in creating enlightenment and enhancing your recovery work.

At its core, your level of self-worth is your answer to a single internal question: "How deserving am I?" Or, to put it more directly as it pertains to your daily life: "How good can I stand it today?" If you observe your life very closely, you will discover that you don't necessarily get what you deserve. Your addictions or life problems has not diminished your worth as a person. Only to the degree that you appreciate your innate human worthiness will your subconscious mind open up to life's gifts. Success involves talent, effort, and creativity, but first of all, it requires a willingness to receive. Do you feel worthy of being well? When a window of opportunity appears, do you pull down the shade? Each of us has a specific degree of pleasure that feels right and appropriate. If that level is exceeded it makes us anxious. Many recovering people fear success because they do not feel worthy.

Because many people assume that self-esteem and self-worth mean the same thing, it seems important for me to note the distinction between the two. Self-worth (associated with self-respect) refers to your overall sense of value, worth, goodness, and derisiveness. Your sense of worth can change over time based upon your actions. For example, my sense of self-worth has increased over time as I gradually learned to be a responsible person, loving father, a good friend and partner, my work as a therapist, and whatever minor assistance I bring to Dynamics Of Recovery or other services that I become involved in.

Self-esteem (associated with self-confidence) refers to liking or feeling good about yourself, your appearance, or your abilities. Your sense of self-esteem may change moment to moment, based on appearance, ability or situation. For example, as a clinical therapist I feel high self-esteem (confidence) in therapeutic situations, but less self-esteem at parties or social gatherings.

The central theme of this lesson/posting is that you "subconsciously" choose or attract into your life those people and experiences you believe you deserve! In everyday life pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional - a by-product of poor choices. Get it? Want to argue the point? Your sense of worth or deserving shapes your life by creating tendencies. If you feel unworthy and undeserving, you tend to make destructive or limiting choices. Do you see why this is the first lesson?

At each and every crossroads you are free to choose the high road - by being kind to others, working hard, finding supportive partners, and following good role models. Or you may choose the low road - by burning your bridges, practicing addictive behaviors, or choosing destructive relationships. Your sense of self-worth tends to influence whether you choose to learn easy lessons or difficult ones, to strive or to struggle, to cave in to difficulties or rise above them. Such choices determine your educational and income level, your health habits - even your longevity. Those of us with a strong sense of self-worth are less likely to get caught up in self-destructive habits with addictions or other aberrant behaviors..

There is a danger of studying self-worth from a distance - exploring the issue the way some people explore a territory from an air conditioned bus. Keeping a safe distance is more comfortable but far less useful than feeling its impact on your life right now. Remember that your sense of self-worth - of derisiveness - is related to your perception of your relative goodness.

Self-worth is not a thing; it is a perception. The first step is to realize that you are not alone. We have all made mistakes as part of our life and growth. We have all said, thought, felt, and done things we regret. Our worth is not dependent upon being perfect. If we can stop judging our mistakes so harshly, we can also stop ourselves from reactively engaging in the negative behaviors.

The second realization is that no matter what your behavior, you have done the best you could every day of your life. You may not agree with this. So before we tackle that question, consider this principle in relation to your parents or other caregivers: Whether they were kind or abusive, they were doing the best they knew how in light of their own limitations, wounds, beliefs, fears, values, and anxieties. Their best may have been wonderful, or terrible, or somewhere in between. In the same way, even though you have certainly fallen short of your ideal many times and made mistakes, you have also done the very best you were capable of at the time.

Most of us have replayed in our minds an incident we wish we could do over. Maybe we could have done better on a job interview, an exam, or a performance. You cannot change past mistakes, but you can avoid repeating them. The past no longer exists except as a set of memories and impressions you keep alive in the present. By focusing on doing what you can do now - by reviewing your mistakes with eyes of compassion and asking for forgiveness - you do much to heal your fragmented sense of worth.

Trust the process. The next time you feel that something good can't last, remind yourself that evolution moves in an upward spiral and that life can, and usually does, get better over time. You live and learn, stumble and fall, fail and grow, expand, and progress.

Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow.

-Alice Mackenzie Swaim

Originally posted at Dynamics of Recovery and taken from my group Star Choices

[MajestyJo]

Send loving-kindness to yourself. Really love yourself.
Want yourself to be happy and joyful. Recall a happy
time and hold that feeling in your heart.



Repeat these phrases in your mind:

I love myself.
May I be free from anger.
May I be free from sadness.
May I be free from pain.
May I be free from difficulties.
May I be free from all suffering.
May I be free from attachment,
Free from anger and ill-will.
May I be healthy.
May my body be healthy and strong.
May I be filled with loving-kindness.
May I be happy.
May I be really happy.
May I be at peace.
I spread this loving-kindness out.

Unknown to me