Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - February

[bluidkiti]

Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - February 1

February 1

Step by Step

Today, tear down the wall that BITTERNESS has built between me and recovery, serenity with the world and myself, inclusion instead of exclusion from others in recovery who have found what I have not, a positive instead of a negative influence on everyone around me. Unlike anger, which in some cases is justified, bitterness has NO justification. Like alcohol, the power of bitterness is in its destruction not only of everything and everyone around me, but of myself as well. And, like alcohol, bitterness is the epitome of selfishness, of rejection of all that is good and constructive – and a validated ticket to loneliness and isolation. With as much work as I expended on drinking, it takes as much if not more to keep bitterness going. Today, I’m too tired and disgusted with bitterness to give it the time and effort needed to fuel it. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

BOREDOM

Is not life a hundred times too short for us to bore ourselves?

~ Nietzsche ~

Boredom is a form of conceit. When we are bored we are saying, “Okay, life, you are not doing your job of keeping me entertained.” To think that life, or those around us, or the world itself is here primarily to keep us amused and entertained is “stinking thinking.”

This thinking can screw up our attitude and take us back to the point where our addiction seems like the only way out of that boredom. We may be miserable, but at least we aren’t bored, we think.

Those who learn to work the Program find that life is far from boring. Each day brings many quiet moments of joy, compassion, and insight. Rich serenity replaces the empty landscape of boredom

I am not in recovery just to be abstinent; I am living to learn, to help others, and to keep bus through positive action.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.

~ Havelock Ellis ~

The wisdom that we attempt to develop in recovery is how to balance the letting go and the holding on in our lives. Many of us have sunk into deep holes of crisis and despair by holding on too tightly when we needed to let go. In other ways, perhaps, we have given up too easily when, with faith and trust, we could have held on to opportunities and values that seemed out of reach.

The Serenity Prayer speaks of the wisdom to know the difference. This power to discern between what we must accept and what we can change creates a deep sense of peace. It brings calm to our intimate partnership, success to our recovery from addiction and co- dependency, and greater effectiveness in our work life.

Today I pray for the wisdom to know the difference between what I must accept and what I can change.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

There is no greater joy than to see my baby’s face break out in a smile. It reminds me of the significance we have in each other’s lives.

~ Maty Larson ~

We have heard, over and over, that there are no accidents in this life. But what does that really mean? Can it mean that the pain we felt when a special relationship ended was intentional? Can it mean that the illness of a friend was God’s will? Can it mean the promotion we failed to get was God’s plan too? We can feel pretty crazy trying to figure out the real reason behind any set of circumstances, and we’ll only be spinning our wheels.

How we respond to these situations is what causes the pain or confusion. When we learn to trust that God initiates our experiences, we will begin to know freedom from fear and confusion.

Every day, we will have opportunities to increase our understanding of God’s presence in our lives. I he smiles we give and get are not accidental; they are part of the divine plan. So may be the chaos. It’s I tow we handle the chaos that matters.

I very person I meet today is in my life by design. What I give to or learn from others helps each of us to grow.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can find a silver lining

Of course given a choice, I would never have asked for a dual disorder—two illnesses that affect one another and require an extended period of recovery. But here I am—and here they are—like it or not!

And yet I can see now that because of hitting bottom, because of the pain and suffering, I have found a new faith and a better way to live. In my process of recovery, I have found my higher power. While “spirituality” used to seem like a foreign word, becoming spiritual is now an integral part of my life.

I will take five minutes today to think of one improvement in my life that has come about through my illnesses.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

He who hesitates is sometimes saved.

Recovery is teaching us to think situations through to the end before we act. In the past, we often reacted first and thought later. Unable to wait out the pain, we tried to “fix” our problems by artificial means: drugs, alcohol, food, sex, excitement. Our only goal was to escape and get relief from the ups and downs of life. Rushing from one situation to another, we seldom slowed down enough to relax and really think through the consequences of our actions.

Now, we’re learning to solve problems instead of escaping from them. Learning to sit still with discomfort, knowing it will eventually pass, has given us real personal power in our day-to-day living. What a wonderful freedom to no longer be driven by the demons of obsession and compulsion, but instead to experience our feelings as friends instead of enemies. When we allow ourselves to sit with such friends, open to what they can teach us, we will never be alone.

Today let me think difficult situations through to the end before deciding how to act.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

~ Step Two ~

A prayer is a humble and heartfelt communication with a power greater than yourself. A prayer can admit a weakness, communicate a need, or convey praise and gratitude. Prayers can unburden your heart, give you strength and courage, and deepen your faith and trust in a Higher Power. Use the following prayer as you work on your understanding and acceptance of Step Two.

Step Two Prayer

Higher Power, I believe in your power to restore me to sanity. I know everything you do is for my greatest good and the highest good of those around me. I am committed to living a life free from addiction. I am committed to release from the struggle, fear, and hopelessness I felt in the past. I am ready to let go of the insanity of using and to replace it with the sanity of sobriety.

I ask for your help so I can do these things with strength and purpose. I ask for your guidance so I may open my heart to love and forgiveness. I ask for your help so I may live each day true to a mission of sobriety, and to reflect this mission in my every word and action. Higher Power, thank you for listening to my prayer.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

The Bookshop has a thousand books, All colors, hues, and tinges, And every cover is a door That turns on magic hinges.

~ Nancy Byrd Turner ~

When we start our day, we have a wealth of meditation books to help lead our focus to faith, strength, and hope. Throughout each day, we have pamphlets and books to enrich our minds and expand our understanding of the disease that affects our lives. We learn we are not alone in our struggles and triumphs; there are many before us, many now, and many to come who will ask the same questions, have the same struggles, find the same hope.

Our literature is written by those who, through the help of their Higher Power, can communicate their feelings and thoughts. By keeping a journal to record our thoughts, dreams, feelings, goals, and daily events, we can create our personal book to use for a better understanding of ourselves. This, combined with the literature of the program, will enrich our lives with valuable and inspiring words.

I can begin my record of growth and goals, plans and dreams, and all my feelings. I can be the author of the book of my life.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Doing our best

Perhaps we are saving our best effort for the “big break.” When such and such happens, then I’ll give it my best shot. What we don’t realize, however, is that success comes from doing a lot of little things well. Learning to live means learning to manage all our daily responsibilities.

If we can’t keep our clothes clean, take out the garbage, or get up on time, how can we expect to handle promotions, marriages, and crises? Daily effort may seem inconsequential, but our big break is the result of all our todays well lived.

Do I always give my best effort?

Higher Power, help me take care of each thing as it comes along.

Today I will do my best when I

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

To accept a favor from a friend is to confer one.

~ JOHN CHURTON COLLINS ~

Newcomer

I’ve been okay for the past few days, so I haven’t called you. I feel as if I’m calling you too much. I don’t know what you could possibly be getting out of it.

Sponsor

I identify with your fear of imposing on other people, so I want to say first that I’m grateful for your phone calls. They help me to stay sober, just as much as they help you. They remind me, every day, of our addiction, and they remind me of the ways we’re growing and being healed.

When we stay in daily touch with a sponsor, it helps to keep us from “slipping through the cracks.” Though I go to a meeting, make coffee or put away chairs, say hello to a few people, even put up my hand and share, there may be parts of my recovery process that I don’t understand, don’t like to talk about, or don’t get to talk about in depth. I can share more deeply and at greater length with my sponsor. My sponsor knows me pretty well by now and is likely to bring up recovery issues I’d rather evade or bury. Calling our sponsors isn’t always easy, but it’s part of our commitment to ourselves and our recovery.

Today, I’m willing to know others and to be known by them.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

To us alcoholics, our Twelve Steps of Recovery are the stars on which we set our course of sobriety. Like the seafaring man, we will not get them completely in our grasp, nor do we need to do so.

If we but follow the course they indicate, we too, will reach our haven.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) There but for the grace of God, go I.

2) The one good thing about repeating your mistakes is that you know when to cringe.

3) We all suffer from self-centered fear.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

My Daily Prayer

God, I turn my will and my life over to You this day for Your keeping. Your will, Lord, not mine. I ask for Your guidance and direction. I will walk humbly with You and Your fellowman. You are giving me a grateful heart for my many blessings. You are removing the defects of character that stand in my way. You are giving me freedom from self-will.

Let love, compassion, and understanding be in my every thought, word, and deed this day. I release those to You who have mistreated me. I truly desire Your abundance of truth, love, harmony, and peace. As I go out today to do Your bidding, let me help anyone I can who is less fortunate than I.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

OUR FATHER

This simple statement in itself constitutes a definite and complete system of theology. It tells all that man needs to know about God, and about himself, and about his neighbor. Oliver Wendell Holmes said: “My religion is summed up in the first two words of the Lord’s Prayer.”

“Our Father.” In this clause Jesus lays down once and for all that the relationship between God and man is that of father and child. This eliminates any possibility that the Deity could be the relentless and cruel tyrant. The vast majority of men and women are at their best in dealing with their children. Speaking of the same truth elsewhere, Jesus said:

If you, who are so full of evil, nevertheless do your best for your children, how much more so will God, who is altogether good, do for you? (Matthew 7:11)

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Choice Words

Only in the sacredness of inward silence does the soul truly meet the secret, hiding God.

~ Frederick William Robertson ~

A friend of mine conducts retreats in Assisi, Italy, the birthplace and home of St. Francis. Much of the retreat time is spent in silent meditation. The program has a rule: Do not speak unless what you have to say is more powerful than the silence.

The Quakers understood this principle and incorporated it into their prayer services. The Quakers sit silently, and no one speaks unless he or she is moved by Spirit to do so. One must not speak until he or she is literally exploding, or quaking. That is the sign that God, and not the ego, is moving through the person.

In my seminars, I’ve noticed a wide range of energies that issue forth when various people speak. When someone speaks from her heart, she may say but a few words and the entire room is riveted; that is how compelling sincere expression can be. Others may go on for a long time and say nothing; the room goes dead, for the speaker is proceeding from their head or ego.

Try practicing periods of silence. Take a morning or a day regularly and go into the quiet chamber of the heart. You will be amazed at the wealth of aliveness you find behind your words, and you will discover that words often detract from truth. When you speak again, your words will be chosen, powerful, and healing. Make every word you speak count, and you will co-create with God.

Lord, make my words an instrument of Your peace.

I use the power of the word to create good, success, and healing.

[bluidkiti]

February 2

Step by Step

Today, dependency is not confined to alcohol addiction CAN impact my relationships with other people. For years, I depended on alcohol to drown feelings I did not want or to “create” feelings I wanted and to shape my attitude and perspective. Is it no wonder that I depended on alcohol to define – in part – my relationships with other people? Honesty says yes! And my expectations in those relationships were either to dominate THEM, or to be so emotionally clinging and dependent on them that MY unrealistic expectations drove them away. Now, in sobriety, I have to admit that quitting drinking is not enough, that I must also be sober in my relationships and find the compromise between being the dominant one – and the needy one. Today, I begin the search for the way to be a contributor to healthy relationships. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

RELATIONSHIPS

Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the right to do the same.

~ Voltaire ~

One of the gifts of recovery is realizing that we can walk away from our prison cells as free people. We are no longer dependent on any other person, place, or thing for our happiness and well-being. The jail of our own making has dissolved. We discover a Power that can provide for every imaginable need.

We realize that the war is over and we have won. We have finally found a way out of our addictions. Morning has broken from our dark night. We listen to other people share their experiences in recovery and realize they are telling our story. Each time we clasp hands, we sense the power of the Fellowship running through us. Our sponsors and fellow members keep our eyes focused on recovery.

I am learning to listen enough to hear the truth and speak enough to tell the truth. I am learning not to become overly dependent on others and to avoid having anyone become too dependent on me.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Just by speaking I can break out of my self-made prison.

~ June Singer ~

For many of us guys, words don’t come easily. Maybe we have strong feelings, strong thoughts, and important things on our mind, but they may not translate easily into spoken words. Even as toddlers, little boys don’t generally start to speak as early as little girls do. But that is no excuse for not working at it. Some of the most difficult challenges produce the most creative responses.

Something magical happens when the unspoken is finally spoken. A little of our private world is finally known by another human being. Even more than that, we finally know more clearly what is on our minds when we put words to it and hear ourselves say it. We may not even know that we are in a self-made prison of silence until we start to break out of it. Talking—finding words to say what is on our mind—is a big part of our healing process.

Today I will talk to someone about a feeling, a memory, or an unanswered question.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

My Higher Power takes many forms. One of the most comforting is the presence of the Great Mother, the magnificent Goddess who has a personal interest in guiding my life.

~ Rita Casey ~

One of the first things we learn in this recovery program is that we have a Higher Power. Next we learn that we can define our God according to our own needs. As we change and get more comfortable in our recovery, our definition of God may change too. However, wisdom is our reward for believing, and any gender or form of Higher Power will do.

Having a Higher Power’s loving guidance is perhaps the most blessed of all the rewards of this program. Never do we need to feel alone. Decisions will be easier to make when we remember to ask our Higher Power for guidance.

Knowing that we have a loving Higher Power who truly cares about our safety and well-being makes every moment of our lives more peaceful and secure. We will be on the right path if we look for the guidance that we’ve been promised.

I may not understand why I have received God’s grace, but my sobriety is a sure sign that I have. I will let her guide me all day long.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I will be taken care of

I used to wonder if anyone was listening to my prayers for help with my illnesses—the mood swings and the drugs. I felt alone and out of control. I felt no one cared and eventually wondered if I was worth caring about.

And yet looking back at that time—not so long ago—I wonder if perhaps I was the one who lost faith, who stopped caring about myself. Because once I chose recovery, once I chose recovery for myself, I began to experience the care and love of many people—in treatment, in the clinic, and in my recovery groups. These days I know that I am worthy, I believe my prayers are being heard, and I trust that I will be taken care of.

I will take five minutes today to remember the people who have been helping me in my recovery.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

The thought is not the same as the act.

~ Joan Ebbitt ~

We can’t just flip a switch and turn off our thoughts. Thoughts of drugs, alcohol, food, and sex may still trouble us in recovery. We may even be tempted into a relapse by telling ourselves, “Well, the thought is there, so a slip is coming; might as well get it over with.”

But in recovery we do not have to act on every thought. We must remind ourselves that the thought and the action are separate. Then we can allow unhealthy thoughts to pass us by.

We can let go of unhealthy thoughts by talking with our sponsor, sharing our thoughts at a meeting, reading Twelve Step literature, praying, or meditating. When the urge to return to addiction is powerful, we can get through difficult times by telling ourselves, “This too shall pass.”

Thoughts end. We can choose neither to act on them nor to judge ourselves for their content. We can see them as information and then move on, strengthened by our recovery program.

Today help me remember that thoughts of relapse will pass. Give me strength to control my actions until the thoughts pass.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Problems, unfortunately, can be addicting. Like it or not, we take a certain amount of pride in the very problems that distress us.

~ Boise Ristad ~

Imagine you have been asked to stand in a frigidly cold room. Chances are you would take one step into the room and then run right out. Now imagine you are placed in a room that offers a comfortable temperature. You are told that the temperature will gradually drop until it reaches subfreezing. You stay in the room, and may even remain long after you begin shivering or even after the room be-comes unbearable.

The difference between the two examples is that in one you are given no chance to adjust. The same is true for living with pain and suffering. For as long as you believe that your problems are infinite and any solutions elusive or nonexistent, you may become increasingly anesthetized to the difficulties in your life. You may feel far more comfortable holding onto feelings of doom, disappointment, and confusion than striving to find ways to decrease or eliminate your problems.

Recovery gives you a choice: stay in a life in which you lace constant problems, or surrender to a life in which you actively explore different ways of thinking and acting.

I free myself from pain by seeking solutions to any problems I may face.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it—and stay there, lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again . . . but also, she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.

~ Mark Twain ~

“Last night I asked for help, but the person couldn’t give it to me. Tonight I’m not going to ask because I’ll be refused.” Poor us! One person has rejected us, so now we’ve got the whole world rejecting us. We believe if one person lets us down, everyone else will too.

Such thinking, as negative as it is, can provide safety. If we believe we can’t trust anymore, then we won’t. But there won’t be any growth in this kind of safety. By condemning everyone, we won’t see those who want to help.

To find help we may have to ask several people. If we get turned away by a few people, we shouldn’t give up hope. There are many flowers in the field of life, but to pick the best, we need to look at them all.

If I get rejected it doesn’t mean I’m a bad person or no one can be trusted. It means I need to take another risk or maybe two.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Learning patience

Many of us spent a long time getting sick, and we can’t expect to recover overnight. We have to want to get well, and we must be patient. If we lose control through lack of patience, we may lose all that we’ve gained.

Patience is a slowly developing virtue. It requires that we watch ourselves each day and use prayer in trying times. (Being selfish, however, retards our progress.)

Am I developing patience?

Higher Power, help me learn patience in living the life set before me.

I will practice patience today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Argue not concerning God.

~ WALT WHITMAN ~

Newcomer

It’s obvious from what I hear people saying in meetings that God is a pretty important part of Twelve Step programs. What if I don’t believe in God or a Higher Power?

Sponsor

We don’t need religion in order to recover. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop using our preferred addictive substance or behavior. To recover, we have to put down what we’re addicted to, and we have to come to meetings. Not easy, perhaps, but simple and clear.

Whether or not we believe in God, most of us recognize that we don’t live entirely independently. The phrase “a Power greater than ourselves,” from Step Two, is a reminder to me that I don’t run the universe. Whatever I believe about God’s existence, I have to accept that I myself am not God—if I’m going to recover. I can’t control my addiction on my own. Willpower stopped working for me some time ago. I owe this newfound willingness to recover to someone or something that isn’t my intellect or will.

Those who reject traditional concepts of God can still point to something inside—what some call their “better self,” their “sense of right and wrong,” their “higher self,” or their “spirit”—that got them here. The desire for wholeness has somehow proved stronger than the impulse toward self-destruction.

Today, I accept that I’m not all-powerful.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Probably no class of people has been brought into deep and turbulent waters of life to the extent of us alcoholics. Thousands of us were saved by a merciful God and emerged from our ordeal cleaner and stronger. That we were spared can be attributed only to the Grace of God.

There is nothing haphazard about God’s actions. He led us into deep water for a purpose; He extracted us for a purpose. Be sure you fulfill that purpose.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) On final judgment day, do you want what you deserve or do you want a forgiving God?

2) FINE: Fearful, Insecure, Negative, Egotistical

3) Boundaries create freedom.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Lord, I’m Hurting

Yes, Lord, I hurt.
The pain is deep,
And I feel the mountains
Are so steep. I cannot seem to stand.
Please, dear Lord, Take my hand.
I cannot seem to find my way.
For me the sun
Is not shining today.
I know You’re there;
I’ve felt Your presence near
But now, my Lord,
My heart is gripped with fear.
Lord, help the sun to shine
And to know That You are mine.
Heal this pain I feel; Make Your presence
Very real.
Today, Lord, I give You all.
Help me, dear Lord,
Not to fall.
And if I fall,
Hold me tight,
So I can feel
Your strength and might.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

OUR FATHER

Now that this clause that fixes the nature of God, at the same time fixes the nature of man. It is a cosmic law that like begets like. It is not possible that a rosebush should produce lilies, or that a cow should give birth to a colt. The offspring must be of the same character as the parent; and so, since God is divine Spirit, man must essentially be divine Spirit too, whatever appearances may say to the contrary.

At a single blow this teaching of Jesus swept away 99 percent of all the old theology, with its avenging God, its chosen and favored individuals, its essential hell fire, and other terrible paraphernalia of man’s diseased and terrified imagination, God exist—and the Eternal, All-Powerful, All-Present God is the loving Father of mankind.

If you would meditate upon this fact, until you had some degree of understanding of what it really means, most of your difficulties and physical ailments would disappear, for they are rooted in fear. If only you could realize to some extent that Omnipotent Wisdom is your living, loving Father, most of your fears would go. If you could realize it completely, every negative thing in your life would vanish away. Now you see the object that Jesus had in mind when he first placed this clause first.

… So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him (Genesis 1:27).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

I Had No Idea

There is more to heaven and earth than meets the eye.

~ William Shakespeare ~

I heard about a man who lived in Kansas all of his life and had never traveled more than a few hundred miles from his home. When Joseph was 85 years old, he took a trip to Oregon and saw the ocean for the first time. Joseph stood on the rugged, windswept beach for a long time, breathing deeply and contemplating its majesty. Then he walked back to his friend and told him, “I had no idea it would be this beautiful. I had to see it to know it.”

Many of us have lived for a long time in a world much smaller than the one that is available to us. We tread the familiar path, settle into routine relationships, and find security in the known. But to settle for what has been is to miss out on what could be. Imagine that there is an entire unexplored world available to you if you were to reach even a little bit beyond the familiar. If you open your consciousness, the universe will rush to show you what is truly there.

When I first stepped onto the beach in Hawaii, I was moved to tears. The rugged green mountains towered over the azure sea as the warm waters lapped over my bare feet and washed away years of East Coast in–sanity. Everything I beheld spoke of beauty, aliveness, and abundance. I had no idea that such riches existed on the planet. Egotistically, I believed that I had seen most of what there was to see and knew what was available. But I didn’t. What I thought was available was only a small portion of the good that awaited.

There is an entire unseen ocean waiting for you to explore.

Show me the life that is available to me, and let me live it. I am willing to be wrong about what I thought were my limits.

I step out beyond the known to claim the riches of my true potential.

[bluidkiti]

February 3

Step by Step

Today, no self-destruction by believing I do not deserve the benefits of the program and recovery. If I am carrying into today the guilt, remorse and regret of yesterday, their strength lies in sabotaging my progress toward sobriety and in setting me up for failure, i.e., relapse. But my program of admission, surrender and service has empowered me with confidence, courage and strength, each endowed by a Higher Power, and they are powerful enough to assure me that I am worth the gift of recovery. Today, by virtue of returning from the abyss, I am earning worthiness. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

K.I.S.S.

Keep it simple, stupid!

~ Anonymous ~

When we were using, our addicted minds were too clever for their own good. They told us lies. They told us that we knew things we didn’t, that we were strong when we weren’t. The addicted mind tried to analyze recovery and find its fatal flaws. That way it could return to addiction with all the reasons why the Program can’t and shouldn’t work. But the Program doesn’t have its foundation in this type of reasoning. Its foundation is faith, and faith defies reason. Reason is complicated. Faith is very simple.

Our addictions are clever, baffling, powerful, and very patient. Our Program disciplines this addiction with the simple truth. We fight the addiction with honesty. Our Program has revealed to us that truth is not complicated. It is simple. We should not dress the truth up in fancy clothes.

I want to keep it simple, just as it is. I won’t use my clever mind to twist the truth. My Program tells me that I need to keep it simple, just as I found it.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Work for something because it is good, not just because it stands a chance of success.

~ Vaclav Havel ~

We are not following the way of the mainstream. Our troubles required us to follow a path of healing and recovery that most of our community and society may not need to follow. A strong message in the world today says that success, in and of itself, is wonderful. On our path, we are always concerned about who we are, not just what we do. We always ask, what is the moral good in our choices? We don’t only ask, will it work? Financial success at the expense of our sobriety, serenity, or self-respect is won at far too high a price.

On this path, we ask ourselves daily how we are doing on the moral scale for our lives. Do our choices and our work help create something that is good? Are we following our values or are we just trying to get ahead? Do we treat everyone the way we want to be treated? Are we kind and respectful to the weak as well as the strong? Do we speak the truth when it is called for?

Today I will work for that which is good and leave success in the hands of my Higher Power.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Edge up against your pain and give it a name.

~ Patricia Benson ~

Dwelling on our pain is unproductive and can heighten our anxieties. However, we do need to identify the pain, give it attention, and then be willing to let it go. Naming it sheds light on it, preventing the pain from living in the shadows where it remains free to haunt us.

Life is never wholly free from struggle and pain. As part of the human community, we learn significant lessons, and our willingness to experience the journey may sometimes appear directly related to the amount of pain we have suffered. But letting our steps be guided by our Higher Power, instead of fearfully resisting that Power, will make our lessons easier to learn and our journey smoother.

When the pain-filled moments come, as they may today, we can remember to acknowledge them und give them over to the One who has all power.

Today I will recognize my pain if it comes, and I will take responsibility for my part in it. It will leave when I do my part and let my Higher Power do the rest.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I still want to feel my emotions

For a while it hurt so bad that I couldn’t stand it anymore—anger, then rage, abandonment, crying myself to sleep, then emptiness. Yet, now that I’m finally on medication I feel almost nothing. It’s as though the switch to my emotions were shut off. I’m numb.

Medication is a therapy I now know I need. But if I am overmedicated, flattened out, I have no emotions to work on and it’s hard to care about anything. As painful as it has been, I do not want to feel numb. I still want to feel my emotions, even if some of them still hurt.

I will call my doctor promptly, tell him what’s going on, and ask about an adjustment in my medication.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

A man may fall many times but he won’t be a failure until he says that someone pushed him.

~ Elmer G. Letterman ~

“I’m such a failure, I might as well drink!” Feelings of failure are powerful excuses to do any number of self-destructive things. The sad part is, most of us set our expectations so high that falling short is virtually guaranteed. Or we’re so afraid of taking risks, we never get the chance to find out what would happen if we tried something new.

A 45-year-old woman decides to go back to college and halfway through finds she can’t continue. She’s so busy that she’s too tired to go to as many meetings as she’d like. So she drops out of school. Is she a failure? No — she’s honest (“I can’t do it all”). She’s brave (“I tried”). She’s sober (“I need my meetings”). And she’s smart (“This stress is going to kill me if I don’t make some changes”).

All we can do in life is try. Be honest and try. No excuses, no blaming, just try. All those so-called failures are notches of courage on our souls. And each notch brings us new peace and wisdom.

Today let me not consider myself a failure if I don’t get everything 1 go after. Help me feel proud to have tried.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

The biggest lesson I’ve learned… was that if you have all the fresh water you want to drink and all the food you want to eat, you ought never to complain about anything.

~ Eddie Rickenbacker ~

When the airplane he was piloting was shot down during World War II, Eddie Rickenbacker spent nearly twenty- one days floating in a life raft in the ocean. He was hungry, thirsty, and uncomfortable. He lived from day to day, having no idea whether he would survive. After he was rescued, he focused on the very basics in life and lived each day grateful for a second chance.

Are you content, or are you looking for something bigger and better? Are you grateful for challenges, which strengthen your commitment, or are you trying to find an easier path?

It has been said that money can buy a bed but not a good night’s sleep, books but not intelligence, a house but not a home, and amusement but not happiness. You can attain a deeper level of happiness and satisfaction in life by following this simple tenet: Keep it simple. Use this phrase to maintain focus whenever you find you have lost sight of the simple blessings you have been given.

Today I will be satisfied with what I have and what I have been given.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Be strong and of good courage; be not frightened, neither be dismayed. . . .

~ Joshua 1:9 ~

It has been said when we are at the end of our rope, we can do one of three things: let go, tie a knot and hang on, or splice the rope and begin again. Whenever we feel there’s nowhere to go but down and nobody to turn to, that’s when we can start all over again. If we can learn to look beyond the end of something, we’ll always see an exciting, fresh beginning.

At the end of every storm is calm. At the end of every argument is silence. At the end of one relationship there is another. Although life is composed of many endings, there are just as many new beginnings. “Life goes on” is even assured by the passage of time—at the end of each minute there’s another.

Nights may have many endings, but they will also have just as many beginnings. Just as the sun will set, so the moon will rise and the stars will appear. Just as the day’s activities will end, so the evening’s activities will begin. And when those activities are over, there will be new experiences the next day.

I can be unafraid of endings because I know they are only the first half of beginnings.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Practicing what we know

Our Higher Power does not expect us to live what we do not know or do not yet under-stand. But we can gain understanding by ap-plying what we know day by day. (When we turn our backs on what we already know, then we stumble.)

We already know that drinking and using only block our way. When should we begin applying what we already know? Today. For today is the only day we have.

Do I practice what I know?

Higher Power, help me apply what I know and not turn my back on my program of recovery.

I will practice what I know today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

For extreme illnesses, extreme treatments are necessary.

~ HIPPOCRATES ~

Newcomer

I keep hearing people refer to this problem as a disease. I’m not sure I buy that. I’ve stopped, haven’t I?

Sponsor

The “disease debate” reminds me of the old saying, “If it looks like a duck, if it walks like a duck, if it quacks like a duck—then it must be a duck.”

We know from experience that our addiction, untreated, is a craving so powerful that we have no choice but to put it first, before our goals and ideals, before work, health, and love. Willpower and promises may curb our addictive use for brief periods, but our physical craving and mental obsession return. Lives are shattered in the process. Some of us die.

Yet we persist in thinking that our addictive behavior is a moral issue. If we could just pull ourselves together, we could stop for good. Good intentions and inspirational messages haven’t worked for us, but we try them again and again. We forget that recovery isn’t about stopping, but about staying stopped.

We can look at it as good news that we have a disease. Accepting this helps us become willing to make the radical changes in our spiritual, mental, and physical lives that are required for our survival. We’re grateful for the “medicine” of meetings, literature, phone calls, sponsorship, and service. It’s helping us create new, healthy selves.

Today, I’m grateful for the lifesaving principles of this program.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

To shut off from our minds the re-collections of unpleasant yesterdays is of course impossible, but we can refuse to dwell on them unnecessarily, or to lash the present with the cruel whip of the past.

It was in the past that remorse, resentments and self-pity were found, but now we are doing our level best to lose them in order to insure a happy and sober present. Close the gate—we have passed through it.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Alcoholism is a disease of denial.

2) When I am grate-full, I am grace-filled.

3) There are some people who learn from the mistakes of others and then there are the rest of us.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

The Right Road

Dear God,
I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I am actually doing so.
But I believe this.
I believe that the desire to please You does in fact please You.
I hope I have that desire in everything I do.
I hope I never do anything apart from that desire.
Lord, I’m Hurting
And I know that if I do this, You will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it at the time.
Therefore, I will trust You always, for though I may seem to be lost, and in the shadow of death, I will not be afraid, because I know You will never leave me to face my troubles alone.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

OUR FATHER

Now the Lord’s says, not “My Father.” But “Our Father,” and this indicates beyond the possibility of mistake, the truth of the brotherhood of man. It forces upon our attention at the very beginning the fact that all men are the children of the Father; and that

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus (Galatians 3:28).

Here Jesus cuts away the illusion that the members of any nation, or race, or territory, or group, or class, or color, are, in the sight of God, superior to any other group.

The final point is the implied command that we are to pray not only for ourselves but for all mankind. None of us lives to himself, however we may try. In a much more literal sense than people are aware we are limbs of one body.

“Our Father”—a spiritual explosive, that will ultimately destroy every kind of human bondage.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Will Power

There is no try; only do.

Yoda (in The Empire Strikes Back)

“I have been going out with this guy for a while, and he is really nice to me,” Terri explained, “but I don’t feel a lot for him. When I told my girlfriend I would try to make the relationship work, she asked me, ‘Why would you want to be in a relationship that you had to try to make work? Either you are motivated or you aren’t. Trying doesn’t create juice.’ ”

If you experience strain, it is because you are moving against God’s will. God’s will is the easiest and most effortless thing to do in the world, and it is the most effective. We are empowered when we get out of the way and let God do Its will through us. We are totally disempowered when we try to impose another will over the one that Spirit would effect.
The way that most people approach “will power” is quite self-defeating. The number of broken New Year’s resolutions is testimony to the fact that personal will power is paltry. Real will power means hitching your will to God’s will and surfing on the strength of what is, rather than what you are trying to twist it into. God’s will is for health, peace, prosperity, and joy. How much struggle could be required to accomplish what Spirit would give you?

Instead of using your will to fight an uphill battle against a mammoth monster, use it to align with peace. You can be very active and effective in creating world change without bearing the lonely and impossible burden of doing it all yourself. Accept the backing of the home office, and your battle will be transformed into a dance.

I pray to be aligned with Your will. I trust You to do for me what I cannot do for myself.

The will of God is easy and powerful. I claim it now.

[bluidkiti]

February 4

Step by Step

Today, motivated by Einstein’s wisdom that individual happiness should be pinned on goals rather than a person or thing, I will build my sobriety and recovery to attain the full grace and redemption of the program. In doing so, I will not gamble by basing my recovery on what another person does or does not do or on a situation that may or may not play out the way I want or fear. I am playing with fire, not to mention using manipulation and abusing AA, if I decide I will not continue in recovery if the spouse who left me because of my drinking doesn’t return, or if the employer who fired me because of my drinking doesn’t rehire me, or if the judge hearing my DUI case doesn’t dismiss charges because “I’m in recovery.” In keeping my recovery goal-oriented, I am not only paying respect to the integrity of AA’s steps and traditions, I am also reinforcing the truth that I and I alone am responsible for both my alcoholism and recovery. Neither is because I might have been dealt a bad hand in life. Today, I focus on the goal of sobriety instead of people or events to maintain and progress in my sobriety and recovery. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

RESENTMENTS

Nothing on earth consumes a man more completely as the passion of resentment.

~ Nietzsche ~

Resentments are among the greatest roadblocks along the route we travel toward a more rewarding way of life. We recognize resentments for what they are: real or imagined grievances against some people, places and things. They give us an excuse to brood and plan revenge.

Resentments come to all of us at different times. We our hurting ourselves by holding on to them. It is a waste of time that could be spent enjoying the more positive aspects of our lives.

Our Program can teach us how to respond with love, understanding, and compassion to the people, places, and things that displease us. We learn not to fight the windmills of resentment.

Today I’ll remember, resentment doesn’t hurt others; it only hurts me. Time wasted in getting even can never be used in getting ahead.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

What is laid down, ordered, factual is never enough to embrace the whole truth; life always spills over the rim of the cup.

~ Boris Pasternak ~

We like control. We want to know what to expect. We like to think we have things figured out and know the answers. But God cannot be contained by a human definition—and life will not stay in place after we try to put it there.

When we go to work, we expect our routine to fit the normal pattern, but sometimes surprises await us. When we talk to our partner about an important topic, we expect a certain outcome—but our partner is a separate person with a separate outlook. Something happens that throws us a curve ball. When we accept that life will spill over the rim, there is no need to add our anxiety to the situation. We already know that we cannot contain it, and we learn to go with the flow. We are not in charge of everything, and we never will be. We are not responsible to keep the world on track, only to deal as best we can with what comes our way.

Today, as life spills over the rim of the cup, I will strive to go with the flow.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Absolute miracles happen when I can trust enough and be vulnerable enough to get honest feelings out of my mouth to another person.

~ Kathy Kendall ~

Seldom do we know in detail what we or others need at any moment. All of us harbor desires and dreams, but they are frequently fanciful and motivated by our not-so-healthy egos.

Nevertheless, we want to grow and that’s good. We want to feel more secure in our journey. We will have made real progress when we have learned to trust that what we need is contained in every experience, every conversation.

We are miracle makers, each of us. Though much that happens between us seems unimportant, none of it is accidental. We can’t be sure what information is needed by our sister travelers. We can know only that God has brought us together. If we share with honesty and genuine compassion, we participate in God’s plan.

I can trigger a miracle in someone else’s life today by being honest and compassionate in every shared experience.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I need a group that accepts my dual disorder

I wonder if I should have let my Step group know that I also have a psychiatric illness. It didn’t go well—they got so quiet and looked away. I doubt they would ever have known the difference. I only mentioned it because I was trying to be honest, as I’ve learned to be in recovering from chemical dependency.

Right now I feel hurt and misunderstood. I even feel rejected, ashamed. But why should I be rejected? All of us in the meeting are chemically dependent. It’s just that some of us are tall, some short; some black, some white; some men, some women. And some of us—I suspect more than one of us—have a dual illness. We are all more alike than different.

If needed, I will contact Central Service or my local Intergroup to find a Twelve Step group that fully accepts my dual illness.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

In every enterprise, consider where you would come out.

~ Publilius Syrus ~

Relapse starts long before we pick up the drink, use the drug, or eat the donut. First we may skip a meeting or two. We might be too busy or forgetful to call our sponsor. Then one little thing leads to another, like drops in a pail, until we reach the overflow point.

In recovery, we know how dangerous those little things can be, so we need to think our choices through to the end. Missing a meeting may be a symptom of impending relapse. If we’re feeling negative toward our sponsor, it’s vital that we talk to him or her. Being critical of others, especially people in the program, is dangerous. One of the first signs of relapse, in fact, is refusing to go to meetings because we’re angry at one member.

Thinking our feelings and thoughts through to the end works something like this: “If I don’t go to this meeting, it’ll be easier to skip the next, and the next. Then if I also avoid my sponsor, I can convince myself I’m doing okay even though I’m not. Then if I reject the program, I’ll have no support, no reminders about recovery. And without those support systems, I’ll probably relapse.” To maintain solid recovery, we need to see the parts of our behavior as a whole. Now, we can make healthy choices.

Today help me see all the parts of the puzzle as they really are. Help me see through my own denial.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

You never move forward if you stay in the same place.

~ Meghan McCain ~

Making the decision to be clean and sober marks your willingness to embark on a new way of living. It is a time of joyous deliverance from your past. With deliverance comes a gradual release from unhappiness and un-healthiness, bitterness and regret, and fear and anxiety. Through the support and tools of the program, you are breaking free from your habits and old ways of doing things. You are changing for the better!

While recovery represents a huge and positive change in your life, the forward progress you make will not al-ways consist of giant steps or even grand “a-ha” moments. For the most part, you may find recovery to be repetitive and predictable. Even though you are deeply committed to your sobriety, you may find that there will be times when your new beginning feels rather unexciting.

At such times, it is important to remember that in order to get to this new place, you had to crawl out from a very dark hole. That, in and of itself, is truly amazing. Try not to forget that being clean and sober each day is a glorious achievement, and one that is necessary to progress forward.

I will remember that what I bring to each day and what I receive are what matter the most.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

“You silly thing,” said Fritz, my eldest son, sharply, “don’t you know that we must not settle what God is to do for us? We must have patience and wait His time.”

~ Johann R. Wyss ~

The story of the shipwrecked Robinson family is a lesson in patience. It was years before their rescue. They didn’t know what their fate would be on the unfamiliar island. Yet they survived every day by working together and keeping strong faith in a Power greater than themselves.

We are certainly far from the adversities faced by that family. But at times we may feel our lives would be better if our Higher Power would do what we wanted. How many times have we prayed as hard as we could for something we felt we needed?

Today might have been one of those days where we felt our prayers weren’t answered. But we need to remember our prayers are heard. Now it is up to us to Let Go and Let God work His will in His own time.

Have I tried to be in control of my Higher Power today? How can I Let Go and Let God tonight?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Carrying the message

When first we experience the joys and blessings of this program, many of us are filled with a fever to carry the message and do God’s work. We absorb some spiritual principles and grow elated at the prospect of our do-gooding! At this point vanity becomes a danger. We may feel that we, above others, are true messengers of God. Perhaps we are even tempted to start preaching the way to spiritual growth. What vanity!

God works through everyone—not just a select few. God even works through the failure of others, to remind us of our past. None of us knows the way, for God has provided many ways.

How do I carry the message?

As I do my work today, may I know that all of us are from God and all are returning to God, and none of us is more beautiful than the next.

Today I will humbly try to show others the way by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

No one knows what he can do till he tries.

~ PUBLILIUS SYRUS ~

Newcomer

I feel as if I have no energy. When I get home from work, I force myself to go to a meeting, but all I really want to do is sleep.

Sponsor

At the end of active addiction, we were exhausted. Our bodies were used to brief, intense pickups—from drugs or cigarettes, from foods containing large amounts of caffeine and sugar, from the high of acting out behavioral addictions- after which we “crashed.” The boost to our physical or mental energy was brief. Low blood sugar, depression, and renewed craving were the other side of this depleting cycle.

For me, exhaustion returned after the “high” of early recovery. I badly needed rest. This meant sleep, nutritious food, and, in my case, vitamin and mineral supplements. To my surprise, it also meant exercise.

How can we think about jogging around a track when we’re feeling exhausted? If we haven’t been exercising regularly, the key word to remember is gentleness. We can begin with a few minutes of gentle stretching in the morning. We can put on sneakers and walk for a short time each day. Or we can choose some other activity that appeals to us and that feels more like play than work. Surprisingly, regular physical movement increases our feelings of energy and well-being—sometimes more effectively than napping. It helps our digestion and circulation, balances our body weight, strengthens our bones, and helps us feel centered and refreshed.

Whatever we choose to do to get our bodies moving, gentleness and consistency are the keys.

Today, I nourish my body and spirit with gentle exercise.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

In the hurry and press of our everyday living, too many of us fail to stop occasionally to allow our souls to catch up with us. We have no time to think upon those things which are of lasting value. We reserve our spiritual thinking for Sunday mornings and meeting nights, oblivious of the fact we must live every day. Find or make time this very day for just a minute with the Man Upstairs. Remember you need Him and He needs you.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Anxiety is fear of oneself.

2) Our need is God’s opportunity.

3) FGO’s: ****ing Growth Opportunities

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

O Great Spirit

O Great Spirit,
Whose voice I hear in the winds, and whose breath gives life to all the world, hear me! I am small and weak, I need Your strength and wisdom. Let me walk in beauty, and make my eyes ever behold the red and purple sunset.
Make my hands respect the things You have made, and my ears sharp to hear Your voice.
Make me wise so that I may understand the things You have taught my people.
Let me learn the lessons You have hidden in every leaf and rock.
I seek strength, not to be greater than my brother, but to fight my greatest enemy: myself.
Make me always ready to come to You with clean hands and straight eyes.
So when life fades, as the fading sunset, my spirit may come to You without shame.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

FATHER OF ALL

He that prayeth well, who loveth well
Both man and bird and beast;
He prayeth best, who loveth best
All things both great and small:
For the dear God who loveth us,
He made and loveth all.

~ Coleridge ~

But ask now the beast, and they shall teach the; and the fouls of the air, and they shall tell thee: Or speak to the earth, and it shall teach thee: and the Fishes of the sea shall declare unto thee… that the hand of the Lord hath wrought this (Job 12: 7-9).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Doctor in the House

Use three physicians still: first, Dr. Quiet. Next, Dr. Merryman, and Dr. Dyet.

~ Regimen Sanitatis Salemitanum (1607) ~

Health is our natural state, and it is within our ability to maintain good health at all times. Any notion to the contrary is a limited belief system and must be discarded without hesitation. The length and quality of your life is in your hands, and no external force has power over your vitality.

The first prescription, quiet, is essential to well-being. How can you hear the voice of God if you are preoccupied with the outer world? Each day, take time to be with yourself. Meditate, walk in the woods, or lock yourself in the bathroom. God lives not on a distant cloud, but within your heart. Spirit is not playing a hide-and-seek game. To the contrary, God is utterly desirous of being known and enjoyed. If you feel distant from God, who moved? Go to the quiet inner temple regularly, and all outer activity will be more peaceful.

Joy is as vital to good health as air. Every enlightened being I know is filled with happiness and laughter. Do not fall prey to images of God as a somber, mournful entity. God is not a mean old man; She is a joyful child. You do not need to analyze and process every thought and experience; go out and play, laugh, get silly, and cast fear to the wind. You will find truth more quickly through delight than gravity.

Diet is extremely important. Our bodies were constructed to function at a high level of efficiency, flexibility, and well-being. To keep the body healthy, we must feed it in harmony with nature. Eat fresh, live, whole, pure foods, free of artificial ingredients or preservatives. Avoid sugar, fat, salt, and processed food. Make your meals a sacrament; take time to be with your food, thank God for it, and digest it. Give your body love in the form of quality nourishment, and it will respond with robust health.

I pray to be fully healthy and manifest the well-being I deserve.

I am healthy, whole, vital, and happy as I live in harmony with my natural spirit.

[bluidkiti]

February 5

Step by Step

Today, remembering my drinking days, I was my own judge, jury and executioner. In giving my all to whiskey, I judged myself to be unworthy of anything better, of feeling anything good. I deemed myself deserving all which active alcoholism inflicted on me – emptiness, loneliness, self-destruction, anger, selfishness, desperation, fear. And I executed the judgment that I should die as I lived – then. But a lifeline was thrown my way, and it led me to AA. Now, as a recovering alcoholic, I’ve surrendered the roles of judge, jury and executioner to the only authority that can impose judgment. And because I respect that authority, this day I will not play with my recovery by yielding it to anyone or anything. Today, I am worthy of more by the grace of God and AA. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

TRUE SELVES

To thine own self be true….

~ Shakespeare ~

If we committed suicide within the early years of recovery, we would be killing a stranger. We look back over our hopes, dreams, and ambitions of a few years ago, and they share little or no resemblance with those we have today. When we look at the people in our lives today, we see not only that they’re different people—they are entirely different kinds of people.

The person who is emerging in our recovery is one we truly like. Where has this person been all our lives? We were too scared to reveal this self to the world. Our ego put it down and called it inadequate, ugly, and good-for-nothing.

Our Program has helped us put a lid on our egos and our true self is becoming a wonderful friend. We are no mistake; we are loved by our Higher Power and we are capable of wonderful things.

I do not have to live my life according to the demands of others. I do not have to change my identity to please anything or anyone. It is to myself that I shall be true.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

To ease another’s heartache is to forget one’s own.

~ Abraham Lincoln ~

Sometimes, in our self-centeredness, we fall into a pit of self-pity. Most of us have enough pain and heartache to feed a lifetime of self-pity if we choose to. We all have had serious losses, stressful jobs, difficult family relationships, bad breaks, and unfair dealings with others. When we start to sink into excessive self- absorption and resentment or wallow in endless negativity, we may not even recognize what we are doing. The best way to climb out of this pit is to reach out to help others who have real needs.

We can volunteer at a school to help children learn to read, or visit people in nursing homes, or help clean up a riverbank, or help a disabled person buy groceries. When we focus too much on ourselves, we become narrow and negative, but when we bring help or relief to our community, we become connected and we have a purpose and a mission that expands our world.

Today I will reach out to others with a helpful hand.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Being quiet does not mean sacrificing productivity.

~ Jane Nelsen ~

To be quiet is to be focused. When we are focused, we are generally much more productive. But our inner dialogue often interrupts our focus. Mow seldom we manage to throw our entire being into the present moment. How much more we might accomplish if we could do this at will.

Learning to be quiet is not difficult, even though It doesn’t come naturally to most of us. We are used to racing around; it doesn’t occur to us that life can be experienced in another way. Once we grow accustomed to slowing down, quieting the clatter of our thoughts, we experience a sense of peace: the knowledge of the spirit within.

How lucky for us who share this recovery path that we have the tools we need to learn quietness. Practicing the suggestions in the Eleventh Step will change our lives.

I will relish the quiet today. What I need to do can be easily, accomplished with quiet focus.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can write down my thoughts and feelings

These days I’m afraid I’m not thinking clearly (although the medication I’m taking helps). I’m not remembering things all that well either. There’s much on my mind and I have many problems to deal with.

In my Step meeting, I noticed a friend carrying a daily journal. I asked him about it and he quickly recommended it. He says he uses his journal to write down his thoughts and feelings a few times each day. He says it helps him understand better what’s going on with him. Well, I’m no writer—and I’m not sure what I’d say in a journal—but I can see how such a tool might help me see things more clearly too. It’s worth a try.

I will take five minutes in the morning and five minutes in the evening to record some of my thoughts.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

The point of power is always in the present.

~ Louise L. Hay ~

It’s taken a lifetime of living to arrive right here, right now. Everything we’ve done has prepared us for this moment. Yet in this complicated web of life we’ve spun, threaded through its millions of moments, lay the seeds of our addictions. In looking back we can see their growth, we can see the lines of stress and tension that run around and through.

Coming to this awareness is critical to our recovery. So too is forgiving ourselves for the past. But equally critical to our continued recovery is living in the present, making “one day at a time” more than a slogan. It isn’t easy.

It takes a lot of practice to pick ourselves up whenever we fall into thoughts of the past or the future. But doing so is a skill that can be learned, a skill that rewards us with time in all its fullness. To do what we’re doing when we’re doing it, to be nowhere else but here, now, is to avail ourselves of the power of the present. It is to live where God lives.

Today help me keep my life simple and full by living life one moment at a time.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

The basis of optimism is sheer terror.

~ Oscar Wilde ~

The optimist sees the light bulb as a device that provides valuable illumination. The pessimist sees the light bulb as impermanent and undependable—something that will go out at the most inopportune time. The difference between having an optimistic, positive attitude and a pessimistic, negative one is simple: optimism allows you to see the opportunity in any difficulty, while pessimism encourages you to see the difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist can adjust responses to any situation; the pessimist cannot.

Do you see challenges as opportunities to experience something new and exciting, or do you see such things only in terms of their poor timing, the time and energy they will take to fix, or the cost?

Recovery teaches that it is how you view any given situation—with an optimistic, positive attitude or a defeatist, negative one—that determines whether you move forward with ease, or if you will resort to a familiar pat-tern of ineffective behavior. By becoming more aware of the habitual, and oftentimes negative, ways in which you view situations, you can learn to adjust your outlook. You can discover that responses that enable you to see the possibilities can bring about change for the better.

Today I will develop awareness of how I respond to situations so I can learn to be more optimistic.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

You have to live on this twenty-four hours of daily time. Out of it you have to spin health, pleasure, money, content, respect, and the evolution of your mortal soul. Its right use, its most effective use, is a matter of highest urgency.

~ Arnold Bennett ~

We have twenty-four hours to accomplish all we need for mental, physical, and spiritual growth. Just because morning meditations have been read, the work or school day is completed, and the day is waning doesn’t mean growth time is over.

The first twelve hours of a day are usually spent housecleaning, raising children, working, running errands, and so on. By the time the activities have ended, we’re ready for the second twelve hours: contemplation, relaxation, communication with family and friends, socializing, eating dinner, going to a meeting, sleeping.

Our most effective use of each day means believing we can accomplish something. There is time to be grateful for each day’s experiences. There is time to build relationships with ourselves and others. Each day there is time to grow.

How can I use tomorrow to the best benefit?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Imitating

We don’t need to imitate anyone. If we ad-mire someone, we might aspire to her or his qualities (substance), but we needn’t imitate that person’s every gesture and word (style). A person’s talent is the sum of his or her experiences; we can’t simply adopt them. And we don’t need to! Our Higher Power will teach us what we have to offer.

We don’t know our capabilities—nor do others—until we have exhibited them. When we do what we are asked to do, to the best of our ability, we feel a moment of great joy and fulfillment. No matter how small the task, we are then right in the eyes of God.

Have I stopped imitating?

Higher Power, I pray for your presence in all areas of my life and your guidance in all I do.

I will practice being my best self today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

They are dead even while they are alive.

~ LAWRENCE KUSHNER ~

Newcomer

What exactly is a blackout? I can’t figure out whether I’ve had them or not.

Sponsor

The term “blackout” usually refers to a period of time when we acted under the influence of an addictive substance, but later couldn’t remember or account for what we did. Many recovering alcoholics, for example, whether their drinking was daily or periodic, speak of having had to make phone calls “the morning after” to find out what they said or did the previous night. Blacking out as a result of drinking is one of the warning signs of alcoholism; it can last a few minutes or several days. Some have found themselves in strange beds, or even in foreign countries, with no memory of how they got there. Some people have killed during blackouts.

We don’t have to be using alcohol, drugs, or other substances to experience the blackout phenomenon. Some of us use the term more loosely to name a state in which, demoralized or compelled by our addiction, we behaved as if we weren’t “all there”—took unnecessary sexual risks, for example, or spent money we didn’t have, lied, forgot commitments, or acted in other ways we were later ashamed of. We say of such moments, “I was in an emotional blackout” or “I behaved as if I were in a blackout.”

Today, I look at places my addiction took me without my full consent. I’m grateful for my ability to make conscious choices in recovery.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Created in God’s image, with the breath of God in my nostrils, my body the Temple of the Holy Ghost, called by the Christ a child of God, surely, I could walk with angels if I could only live up to my heritage.

Man has fallen short of his goal mostly because he has not thought he could do it. He timidly denies his own divine origin; he fails to credit the existence of God in him.

He is like the man who wants to fly but not so high that he can’t keep one foot on the ground. His eyes are fixed on the skies but his feet are planted solidly on the earth.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Come out of the closet, you’ve been hung-up long enough.

2) Alcoholism is the only disease that tries to convince you that you don’t have it.

3) Anger: from grateful to hateful in a second.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

A Prayer for Tolerance

Higher Power, help me to know the most lovable quality I can possess is tolerance. It is the vision that enables me to see things from another’s viewpoint. It is the generosity that concedes to others the right to their own opinions and their own peculiarities. It is the bigness that enables me to let people be happy in their own way instead of my way.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

WHICH ART IN HEAVEN

Having clearly established the Fatherhood of God and the Brotherhood of Man, Jesus next goes on to enlarge upon the nature of God, and to describe the fundamental facts of existence. It is the nature of God to be in heaven, and of man to be on earth, because God is Cause, and man is manifestation. Here heaven stands for God or Cause, because in religious phraseology heaven is the term for the Presence of God. The word “earth” means manifestation, and man’s function is to manifest or express God, or Cause. In other words, God is the Infinite and Perfect Cause of all things; but Cause has to be expressed, and God expresses Himself by means of Man. Man’s destiny is to express God in all sorts of glorious and wonderful ways. To express means to press outwards, or to bring into sight that which already exists implicitly. Every feature of your life is really a manifestation or expression of something in your soul.

Since it is misunderstandings about the relationship of God and man that lead to all our difficulties, it is worth any amount of trouble to correctly understand that relationship. Trying to have manifestation without Cause is atheism and materialism, and we know where they lead. “Our Father which art in heaven.”

. . . as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them . . . (2 Corinthians 6:16)

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Beyond Survivorship

I am not a body. I am free. I am still as God created me.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

At a seminar, I met a woman who had become entirely identified with being a survivor of sexual abuse. When she met others, she would introduce herself, “Hello, my name is Marge. I am a survivor of sexual abuse. ” Marge had gotten so involved with claiming this identity that she could not conceive of being more than this. While it’s important to acknowledge the pain and experience surrounding such a significant trauma, it’s also important to remember that there is more to us and our life than being a survivor.

Buddha offered the analogy of traveling across a river on a raft. Once you get to the other side of the waterway, you must leave the raft on the river. It will do you no good to hang the raft on your back and carry it up the mountain. Leave it where you got it, and continue on your journey unimpeded.

All identities serve us temporarily. It is important that we immerse our–selves in an experience as long as it serves us, but then we must grow beyond it. For any affiliation you can identify yourself with, there is a grander one available; we must let go of what we were…to become who we are. Whether you identify yourself as a recovering addict, a student, or even a child of God, there awaits a bigger room to live in.

Ultimately we are simply Spirit. Calling ourselves anything else may help us in the moment, but eventually we must return to what God created us to be.

Help me grow beyond all temporary identities to claim my true nature.

I am Spirit. I am whole.

[bluidkiti]

February 6

Step by Step

Today, ACCEPTANCE of the things I CAN change and those I cannot. In accepting what I can change, I need both humility and courage to make changes even if they are not what I want but know I need – wisdom to accept that I cannot change what I might want. Above all, I must accept that I am powerless over alcohol. AA has quenched any desire to change that fact. With that knowledge, then, I can have faith that my Higher Power will give me the desire, strength and courage to change what I can and leave alone what I cannot change. Today, acceptance is my focus. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

GIFTS

You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.

~ Kahlil Gibran ~

The things that really count in life are not those we can hold in the hand, but those we cherish in the heart. Material possessions can be replaced, at least in part, if they are stolen, lost or destroyed. But those things which are of greatest value to our security, serenity, and continued growth, are safe within our minds and hearts.

Even when we give generously from this store of precious spiritual tools, they magically remain with us to be given away again and again. We are taught to give, share, and be helpful without expecting others to be in our debt.

When I give of myself, the sharing doesn’t stop after a single act. Those gifts are passed on from one to another to form an endless chain of love.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person.

~ Wilbert Donald Gough ~

No matter how much two people love each other, no matter how compatible they are, no matter how great they are as lovers, they will confront matters and situations where their habits and differences will clash. When we face a frustrating obstacle, our first impulse is to blame the other person who doesn’t fit what we want. However, our most effective way of improving our relationship is to look beyond that first impulse and focus on what we can change: ourselves. We need to persistently be the best partner we know how to be. Our partner is not a model of our own creation and was not put on this earth just to fulfill our own image.

As good partners we try to be good listeners and open ourselves to our beloved. We cut our partner some slack when it’s needed; we offer forgiveness. We don’t use our partner’s immature response as an excuse for us to be immature. We practice the kind of detachment that allows our partner self-determination. We don’t try to fix or mold our beloved to our wishes.

Today I will focus on being the best partner I know how to be, regardless of what my partner says or does.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Take time for solitude. How else can you contemplate the blessings of recovery.

~ Abby Warman ~

Is it human nature to focus on what we lack? We waste many precious hours, hours that can never be recaptured, bemoaning what we think we deserve. While it’s true that what we get may not be what we want, the circumstances that have come our way snugly fit God’s plan for our unfolding lives.

It’s far more productive to spend our quiet times acknowledging the array of gifts we have received. Perhaps we need help from a sponsor or a friend to discover that we have not been shortchanged in this life. If we always gaze upon others, comparing their blessings to our own, we’ll never come to believe that each of us receives what is truly necessary to our personal growth. We are where we need to be. We get what we are supposed to have. Let’s practice gratitude.

I am grateful. I sometimes forget that Cod is in charge of my life. I will remember and pay special attention to the gifts I’m given today.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I need a sponsor

Sometimes my attitude doesn’t help; sometimes my attitude even hurts. I want to do things on my own, in my own way, and in my own time. I don’t much like authority or rules. I have a strong will. Yet thinking and behaving based solely on this attitude is part of my chemical dependency.

Now that I’ve taken Step One and admitted I can’t do this alone, it’s clear to me that I need the help of a support person, someone to prevent me from being my own worst enemy. I don’t want my resistance and fears to lead me astray or hold me back. I need a guide, a coach, someone who has already walked a mile (or two) in my shoes.

At my next Twelve Step meeting I will take the first step. I will look for someone to be my temporary sponsor.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

All our power lies in both mind and body.

~ Sallust Crispus ~

Addiction affects every part of our being — physical, spiritual, and emotional. In the early glow of recovery, we often forget the physical part, as though our bodies don’t matter as much as the rest of us. But sobriety doesn’t end at the neck; our spirit and emotions can’t get to meetings without our bodies.

During addiction, we neglected and abused our physical selves. Now that we’re in recovery, our bodies need care and repair. A balanced diet is important every day to rebuild bones and nerves and for energy and strength. Exercise strengthens our muscles, improves our endurance, and brings a great feeling of well-being. It also helps relieve stress and tension. And some of us cut back on or eliminate caffeine and nicotine to help soothe jangled nerves and improve our sleep.

All these changes pay big dividends. It’s hard for our spirit and emotions to prosper when we neglect our bodies. But with some loving care, we’ll feel better, look better, and work a better program.

Today help me remember how important my body is. Let me give my physical being the respect and care it deserves.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Rather than viewing a brief relapse back to inactivity as a failure, treat it as a challenge and try to get back on track as soon as possible.

~ Jimmy Connors ~

Remaining clean and sober, especially in the early days of your recovery, can be challenging. You may even question whether you really do have a problem. But even “old timers” in the program know how easy it is to get into trouble. “Sobriety,” it has been said in meetings, “is the leading cause of relapse.”

Most relapses happen with a gradual shift in attitude, feelings, and behaviors. If you start to notice that your general outlook is becoming more negative than positive, if your emotions and feelings are difficult to control, or if you skip meetings or avoid your sponsor, these are warn-ing signs that your sobriety may be in jeopardy.

Whenever you feel stressed or vulnerable, you may need extra help. Just as you might take more vitamins when you feel a cold or flu coming on, so too can you in-crease your relapse prevention dosage. Reach out to your sponsor and those in the program, attend more meetings, meditate and pray, and avoid situations and people who could trigger a relapse.

Today I will not take my sobriety for granted. I will give thanks for everything and everyone who will help me maintain my sobriety for another day.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

God give[s] us a mind that can or can’t believe, but not even God can make us believe. . . . You have to believe first before you can pray.

~ Harriet Arnow ~

Sometimes it’s difficult to focus on our Higher Power after a hard day at work, after an argument with a loved one, after the frustrating experience of a flat tire, long bank line, or after any of the other nuisances that are part of each and every day. “Why me?” we may cry out in frustration. On a day like today, it may be easier to believe that a Power greater than ourselves is out to get us.

But God does not choose sides. We have not been singled out for punishment. God is on our side, if we only choose to open our hearts and believe that.

As we reflect back on the events of the day, we need to remember the times we asked God for help and the times we didn’t. And we need to believe first—before we pray tonight—that God is there to help us every minute of every day.

Did I ask my Higher Power for help today, or did I decide to “go it alone”? Which do I choose to do tonight?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Seeing the good

The beauty of our souls shines in many ways: The greatest of these is love. In the spirit of loving kindness, every day a little ugliness is removed; our perspective on life grows broader and deeper.

In the spirit of love, our lives become fresher, our souls humbler; evil seems to disappear, and we learn to distinguish sinner from the sin.

Do I see the good in people?

Higher Power, let me walk in your love and see the good in all things.

Today I will look for the good in

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

This disease is like an elevator going down; you can get off at any floor.

~ WOMAN IN RECOVERY ~

Newcomer

What does it mean to say, “I’ve hit bottom”? People seem to mean different things by it. I’ve heard some who have been homeless, others who have lived luxuriously. And a whole lot of people seem to have had pretty ordinary lives with typical human problems.

Sponsor

I’ve heard it said that if you stay in recovery, your story gets worse as time goes on. For me, that means that as I cleared up and listened to recovering people tell about their lives, I gradually remembered more about my own: places I’d forgotten my addiction had brought me to. Actual places, yes—but even more important, places in my soul. Feelings of uselessness and despair, feelings that somehow, somewhere, I’d lost the dreams I’d once had for my life. Whether you and I consumed the same quantity of what we’re addicted to, whether we had trust funds or were living on the street, spiritually we arrived at the same place. Instead of comparing my story with yours, I think about what, exactly, brought me here. No one gets here by mistake.

Today, I remember what got me here. I know that I’m in the right place.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

We alcoholics were saved from un-numbered deaths in our drinking days and preserved for a purpose that only we could accomplish. God has His way of doing things and He selects people to be the instrumentality through which He works.

If you fail to fulfill your appointed function, then just that much of God’s work goes undone until He finds another instrument through which to work.

You were not dragged from the gutter so that you might be able to enter your home and lounge before an open fire in ease. God saved you because He had work for you to do. Go do it.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) There is a big difference between being a mistake and making one.

2) Be yourself today. You are perfect for the part.

3) Sobriety is not for people who need it, it’s for people who want it.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Changes

Today I pray that I may understand there are some things I cannot change:
I cannot change the weather.
I cannot change the tick of the clock.
I cannot change the past.
I cannot change another person against his or her will.
I cannot change what is right and wrong.
I cannot change the fact that a relationship ended.
I can stop worrying over that which I cannot change and enjoy living more! I can place those things into the hands of my Higher Power. Save energy. Let go. Instead of trying to change someone else:
I can change my attitude.
I can change my list of priorities.
I can change my bad habits into good ones.
I can move from the place of brokenness into wholeness, in the beautiful person God created me to become.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

HALLOWED BE THY NAME

If we trace the derivation of the word hallowed we will discover a most extraordinarily interesting significant fact. The word hallowed has the same meaning as holy, whole, wholesome, and heal, or healed; so we see that the nature of God is not merely worthy of our veneration, but is complete and perfect—altogether good. Some very remarkable consequences follow from this. We have agreed that an effect must be similar in its nature to its cause, and so, because the nature of God is hallowed, everything that follows from that Cause must be hallowed or perfect too. Just as a rosebush cannot produce lilies, so God cannot cause or send anything but perfect good. As the Bible says, “The same fountain cannot send forth both sweet and bitter water.” From this it follows that God cannot, as people sometimes think, send sickness or trouble, or accidents—much less death—for these things are unlike His nature. “Hallowed be thy name” means “Thy nature is altogether good and Thou art the author only of perfect good.” Of purer eyes than to behold evil, and canst not look on iniquity.

If you think that God has sent any of your difficulties to you, for no matter how good a reason, you are giving power to your troubles, and this makes it very difficult to get rid of them.

Thou art of purer eyes than to behold evil, and canst not look on antiquity . . . (Habakkuk 1:13)

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Get Outside

Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature’s peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop away from you like the leaves of Autumn.

~ John Muir ~

One winter day while I was with some friends, I began to feel depressed and anxious. My friend Tom noticed my condition and suggested, “Why don’t you take a walk outside?” I continued to stew in my own juices, and later Tom offered again, “I’ll bet you’d feel better if you took a little walk.” Again I did not heed his suggestion, and my tailspin become worse. Finally, he said, “I know you’d regain your perspective if you just got outside.” Then I listened. I went to a little park where I walked around a crystalline ice-covered pond. I breathed the cold air deep into my lungs and felt the blood coursing through my veins. The stark beauty of winter was wondrously invigorating, and I returned to my friends feeling healed and renewed.

Nature is the great healer. Many of the ailments that plague our society stem from the way we have alienated ourselves from nature. We live in little boxes piled high atop one another, breathe fecund air from auto and chimney exhausts, eat food tainted by artificial chemicals, and sit at desks in front of computer monitors for many hours a day. Then we wonder why we do not feel well.

Even small doses of nature will begin to restore our sense of balance, wonder, and aliveness. I love to walk in the mountains, swim in the ocean, and enjoy the warm blessing of the sun. I am a spiritual being, and I honor my body as a friend and vehicle to feel the presence of God.

Choose an aspect of nature that you love, and immerse yourself in the world that God created. Nature will heal you.

Help me return to my source. Thank you for the beauty of nature, which feeds my soul.

I am healed by the natural world.

[bluidkiti]

February 7

Step by Step

Today, be not too eager to “Let Go and Let God.” In whatever needs to be handed over to my Higher Power, there may be something I must learn about myself before – and if – I let it go. If something I think is bad and is causing me feelings I don’t want to feel, I may need another Fourth or at least a 10th step to ask if the problem is ME, not the situation or another person. And if the problem is me, I need to determine why. If the issue is someone or something else, I must ask God for His will and if the matter is something that I should and must confront instead of taking the “easy out” by letting it go. Today, I ask God for the wisdom to know the difference between dealing with something painful but which might give me growth – and expecting Him to do what He wants ME to handle. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

THE NOW

Yesterday is gone; forget it. Tomorrow never comes; don’t worry. Today is here; get busy.

~ Anonymous ~

When we live in the now, for this day only, one day at a time, we assure ourselves a comfortable reality. We cannot afford to regret the past. Solutions that worked for yesterday’s problems might be obsolete today.

Thinking into the future is projection, an act of purely wishful thinking that is a waste of precious time for growth. The time we spend “projecting” is time wasted. The future is never what we project it to be. Instead of spending time thinking about the future in the present, we can be spending time making the present better.

The only thing that emerges from thinking about the negative parts of our past is guilt and shame. The only thing that emerges from thinking about our future is fear of the unknown. We can eliminate guilt, shame, and fear from our present lives by dealing only with the present.

Today I will spend each moment in the here and now, making the present better.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

You don’t get harmony when everybody sing the same note.

~ Doug Floyd ~

A tradition of our healing program is that we put principles above personalities. When we encounter a diverse group of people, we find some with whom we feel an immediate affinity and closeness, and others we don’t particularly like. But we can learn something valuable from both types. Whether at our workplace, at our place of worship, or in our Twelve Step meetings, the diversity of a group enriches everyone. The wisdom of two or three is greater than the closed loop in our own individual mind.

Sometimes it takes a while to arrive at that wisdom. The Twelve Steps were created by a group of people trying to formulate a set of suggestions that they had found effective as a path of recovery. They disagreed and debated over how to express that set of steps. What they created was better than what any one of them could have done alone. The groups we are in have the same spiritual creative process working for our own recovery. So we listen to the harmony created by the wisdom of our group. Even when we don’t like what we hear, we continue the dialogue and we grow through it.

Today I am grateful for the harmony created by the diversity of people in my life.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

To gain maturity I need to become acquainted with all aspects of myself.

~ Maureen Brady ~

Learning about ourselves is often likened to peeling an onion. We’ve grown layer on top of layer, sometimes for the purpose of protecting ourselves. None of us came from the perfect home. We’ve learned there is no such thing. We’ve all experienced injuries, some physical, some emotional, and we’ve figured out how to handle these hurts and go on with our lives. To be really healthy, however, we have to unlearn many of the cures that seemed effective in the past.

Delving into our psyches to discover who we really are can be intimidating. Fortunately we have the Fourth Step to guide our efforts. Let’s not lament who we became in our struggle to grow up. Instead, let’s accept that we did the best we could. And with the help of this program, we can become who we want to be.

I write my script today. Who I choose to be is in my power. My past performance doesn’t determine my present personality.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can admit my dual problems

At times before recovery, I was losing control over my moods and over my life. I felt like I was coming apart. One week I felt on top of the world, the next month I was in the gutter. It didn’t help that I kept drinking through it all. I was afraid, I was in danger, and I didn’t know where to turn.

I threatened suicide—spent two nights in a locked ward—and got a clue. At rock bottom, I realized there was only one way left to go. First, I admitted to myself that I no longer had control over my life. Then, I admitted this fact to another person: I asked for help. In doing so, I had taken the first Step.

I will humbly share my Step One story and talk about the relief, freedom, and strength of admitting (and accepting) my dual illness.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

I’ve got four things to live by: don’t say nothing that will hurt anybody; don’t give advice, nobody will take it anyway; don’t complain; don’t explain.

~ Edward “Death Valley Scotty” Scott ~

Learning to mind our own business is one of life’s trickiest lessons. Often, we may find ourselves in the role of “master fixer,” feeling we are responsible for other people instead of being responsible to them. Putting our foot into the middle of someone else’s life we can get our toes stepped on as we discover that most people relish directing their own lives. It’s hard at first to step back and let others make their own decisions, especially if we feel we know what’s best for them. But letting others tend their own lives frees us to take care of ourselves.

In giving our loved ones back the reins of their lives we must trust that they know what’s the best for them and that they’ll do the best they can. Our negative comments and critiques are, in fact, just another form of control.

When we live and let others live we create breathing room. We have more room for ourselves and for others.

Today let me live my own life and allow others the right to live theirs.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

All growth is a leap in the dark, a spontaneous unpremeditated act without benefit of experience.

~ Henry Miller ~

From time to time you may move through the day with little energy or interest, as if on automatic pilot—taking the same route to work, eating the same meals, attending the same meetings, or spending time with the same people. You may ask, “Where am I going in my life?” But a more productive question is, “Where am I growing in my life?”

Although familiar routines provide comfort, they can prevent you from experiencing new challenges, excitement, and opportunities for change and growth. Doing something new or different every once in a while can help you break out of the rut of your daily grind and give you something new to think or talk about.

Today, strive to experience something new and different in your life. Take a new route to work. Stop at a different coffee shop. Strike up a conversation with some-one you do not know at a meeting. Accept an invitation to dinner. Such experiences can spark a new interest in your life and stimulate you into a new way of thinking, feeling, and acting.

The goal of doing something new is awareness, not anxiety. Today I will be open to new experiences and view them as a source of challenge, novelty, and excitement.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Do not consider any thing for your interest which makes you break your word, quit your modesty, or inclines you to any practice which will not bear the light, or look the world in the face.

~ Marcus Antonius ~

Being honest with ourselves and others may be difficult for us. Honesty does not always mean telling the truth. Honesty can also mean knowing our limitations so we don’t make promises we can’t keep. It can mean letting our actions support our statements. It can mean living for today and not becoming wrapped up in the promises of tomorrow.

How do we feel when people are dishonest? No matter who they are, we probably lose a little trust in them. We doubt their word and don’t depend upon them for support. When we are less than honest with others, they may feel the same about us.

Dishonesty may be a quick fix at that moment, but it will never provide a solid foundation for the future. Instead, we can try to be more honest with our abilities and limitations. Honest people attract those who respect them for their honesty.

I can be honest with myself and others about the events of the day and my part in them.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Avoiding compulsiveness

Being compulsive people, once we leave the alcohol and other drugs behind, we want our dreams fulfilled now. But when we first get into recovery, all we have is potential. Fulfillment is not realized immediately; rather it is something we work toward.

Each day we must work on our lives with what we know today. Gradually we will grow closer toward our ideal. (Recovery is a process.) But we won’t get anywhere if we try forcing ourselves into situations we are not ready for. God sets the pace.

Have I stopped being compulsive?

Higher Power, I pray for the patience to live today with what I have and what I know.

I will avoid being compulsive today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Every new moment that arises in your life can now be a point of choice…in which you can choose to treat yourself and others with Compassion rather than Judgment.

~ DAVID HARP ~

Newcomer

I wince every time I hear the words “God as we understood Him” and “Higher Power.” When meetings close with the Lord’s Prayer, I feel like I’m being railroaded. I don’t fit into the same religious slot that other people seem to take for granted.

Sponsor

All of us qualify to be here, but not because of any religious identification or belief. Most of us are tolerant of differences, but, being human, some of us forget that not everyone shares the same religious context. Whatever an individual member has to say about the role of his or her Higher Power, the only requirement for membership is the desire to stop using the addictive substance that got us here.

Once I heard a member say, “This meeting is my church.” I’m glad that notion works for her. By the same token, I’ve always been grateful that this program is not a church—otherwise, I might have to rebel against it! We’re not required to subscribe to a particular set of religious beliefs or rituals. In recovery, each of us is free to explore what we believe.

Today, I respect others’ rights to their beliefs, just as I respect my own. I bring my love of openness, inclusiveness, and harmony with me wherever I go.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

You want the world to be better? Then be better yourself. True, you are only one individual in a thickly populated world, but your life touches hundreds of others and each of those touches hundreds more. Who knows how far the influence of one smile travels or where a word of wisdom will take root? Even should your influence for good extend no further than your own skin, there will be at least one less rogue in the world.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) FOG: Fear Of God

2) Don’t “Should” on yourself.

3) Better living through denial.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Take Time

Today I pray that I can:
Take time to think.
It is the source of power.
Take time to play.
It is the secret of perpetual youth.
Take time to read.
It is the fountain of wisdom.
Take time to pray.
It is the greatest power on earth.
Take time to be friendly.
It is the road to happiness.
Take time to laugh.
It is the music of the soul.
Take time to give.
It is too short a day to be selfish.
Take time to work.
It is the price of success.
Take time to do charity.
It is the key to heaven.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THY KINGDOM COME

Thy kingdom come (Matthew 6:10)

Man being manifestation or expression of God has a limitless destiny before him. His work is to express, in concrete definite form, the abstract ideas with which God furnishes him, and in order to do this, he must have creative power. Elsewhere, he would be merely a machine through which God worked—an automaton. But man, having the nature of his Father, remains a creator. Notice the word creator means undivided. The consciousness of man is not separated from God’s consciousness.

“Thy kingdom come” means that it is our duty to be ever occupied in helping to establish; the Kingdom of God on earth. That is to say, our work is to bring more upon this plane. That is what we are here for. The old saying, “God has a plan for every man, and he has one for you,” is quite correct.

If only you will find out the thing God intends you to do, and will do it, you will find that all doors will open to you; all obstacles in your path will melt away; you will be acclaimed a brilliant success; you will be most liberally rewarded from the monetary point of view; and you will be gloriously happy.

There is a true place in life for each one of us, upon the attainment of which we shall be completely happy, and perfectly secure. On the other hand, until we do find our true place we never shall be either happy or secure, not matter what other things we may have. Our true place is the one place where we can bring the Kingdom of God into manifestation, and truly say, “Thy kingdom cometh.”

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Buy a Ticket

Pray devoutly, hammer stoutly.

~ English proverb ~

Every day Ralph prayed to God to help him win the lottery. Each week when he didn’t win, Ralph became more and more frustrated, and he grew angry at God. Finally in exasperation, Ralph went to church, stood before the altar, shook his fist, and railed, “If you are a true God, how can you say that prayer works? I have been praying for a long time to win the lottery, and now I have less money than when I started! Why have you not helped me? ”

Suddenly, a deep voice from above the altar boomed, “The least you could do, Ralph, is buy a lottery ticket!”

God is delighted to answer our prayers, but we must act in accordance with our intentions. We cannot expect to sit around and do nothing while God dances for us. We must dream with our feet moving. God can do no more for you than It can do through you. Manifestation is a co-creative enterprise. You are not expected to do it all yourself (indeed you cannot), but do not expect God to do it all for you. “On earth as it is in heaven” means that we act with the authority of God, even on the physical plane. Vision is the key, but action is that hand that turns it to unlock the door.

I offer you my hands, feet, heart, mind, and voice to manifest your love on earth. Together we can do anything.

I act in accordance with my vision, and Spirit manifests blessings through me.

[bluidkiti]

February 8

Step by Step

Today, living only for today without reaching into yesterday and bringing its baggage into today and leaving tomorrow to its own time. Sobriety is a reprieve from drinking – but only for today. I have no guarantee that my current 24 Hours of sobriety will carry into tomorrow, if there is one, and I cannot take for granted that what is mine today won’t be thrown away – by me – tomorrow. And while I have no guarantee that my sobriety today will be mine tomorrow, I CAN improve the chances by doing today what the program requires of me – to tend to the business of today and not yesterday or tomorrow, to seek through contact with my Higher Power absolute and unconditional surrender, faith, gratitude and humility, and NOT to do to anyone what I would not want done to me. By strengthening the foundation of my sobriety today, the storms of tomorrow, if any, will be weakened by my sobriety then. But today’s business must be tended to first, and today is my business. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

ONE DAY AT A TIME

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.

~ Will Rogers ~

Doesn’t life sometimes seem like a jigsaw puzzle with all the pieces scattered on the floor? Our Program provides us with simple instructions for matching the pieces. We are told if we follow these few instructions, in time we will begin to see the picture develop. But there can be no shortcuts. We can start anywhere, but the picture will only emerge one piece at a time.

Each day for us is like a piece of the jigsaw puzzle. It gives us a glimpse of the picture of our lives. We learn that we must live the while day through to get to the next day. There is no way to get to tomorrow but through today. One day at a time becomes the key to the future.

I will only be able to keep my addictions in check today. I can do anything for one day. This is the only day I have, so let me do the best I can.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

An ounce of apology is worth a pound of loneliness.

~ Joseph Joubert ~

The healing that comes when we make amends happens in two places. First of all, it mends the split between what we want to be and the mistake we have made. In that way, we take responsibility for our actions and reaffirm our standards for ourselves. It’s a way of respecting ourselves by saying, I believe in the standard that I didn’t keep and I will try harder next time.

The second place that healing may happen is between ourself and the person we have harmed. If it’s an old mistake, with apology long overdue, the relationship may take on renewed meaning after an apology. It opens the possibility for a discussion about the friendship and its importance to each person. In other situations, an apology doesn’t heal the connection and perhaps the other person isn’t willing to accept it. In such a situation, we still take comfort in knowing that we have restored the split within ourselves and we can let go of the past.

Today I will be sincere and quick with my apologies.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other.

~ George Eliot ~

Always seeing our struggles as the fault of others is a good indication that we need an attitude adjustment. There is no better place to get one than in this program of recovery. The women around us and the Steps that guide us can help us discover the joy of cultivating a new attitude.

Trying to determine the grand purpose of our lives can be overwhelming and anxiety-provoking. As alcoholics, we gravitate toward complicating the simple. That’s why one of our slogans is “Keep it simple.” We can apply this to all our relationships. Asking ourselves what we can do to help someone else, at every opportunity, defines our purpose in life quite clearly. Moment by moment, we’ll never doubt what to do next.

My purpose is to help someone else today. If I think someone is causing me a problem, perhaps I should address my attitude.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am building a new source of strength

When I had symptoms of my psychiatric illness, I used street drugs to manage them. Drugs were my higher power. They seemed to do what I thought I couldn’t do. When I used them, I seemed to feel better—briefly. But instead of restoring my mental and emotional health, the drugs led to addiction, and the addiction has made my psychiatric recovery that much harder. Now I must work on two illnesses together.

These days, it’s clear that I won’t find relief in street drugs. Real relief comes from people, caring people who accept and understand my no-fault illnesses. With the help of my friends and fellows in dual recovery, I can remain both stable and abstinent.

I will make a commitment to myself to spend more time with people who have the experience, strength, and hope that can help me recover.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Openly accept who you are and the restoration has begun.

~ David M. ~

Our egos may struggle with the very idea of being restored. We hate to admit we lost our sanity in the first place. But when we look at the rubble around us, the picture is pretty clear: the way we were living was definitely insane. Though we weren’t crazy, our lives lacked order, direction, serenity, and spirituality. We kept trying the same things over and over, expecting different results. This is a good definition of insanity.

Our egos and our disease blocked acceptance of our problems, but both lost power and control over our lives when we began to accept who we are.

Just as an antique table is restored to its original beauty, we can be restored to sanity. It will take time and effort. There’ll be some scraping and rubbing. But, we’re worth it. We are valuable creations of our Higher Power, who is willing to work with us and restore us. Our job is to do the next right thing, one step at a time. What a better life, a more beautiful world, one with order, direction, and a relationship with our Higher Power to help us manage it.

Today restore me to sanity. Bring me serenity and a sane way to live.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Appearances aside, we need no advice but approval.

~ Coco Chanel ~

Decisions based on people-pleasing take the focus from your wants and needs and place it on the wants and needs of others. You may feel that you are protecting yourself from criticism and disapproval by acting and verbalizing in ways you feel will earn acceptance and approval. But the time you spend focused on pleasing others is less time spent on yourself, and you may become out of touch with who you are and what you want and need.

Your recovery depends upon your ability to understand and act upon what is right for you. This does not mean that you have to be selfish, self-centered, or uncaring about others, nor does it mean that every decision you make has to be based solely upon what you want. It simply means that you need to take care of yourself first so your commitment to your recovery remains strong.

If you are unsure of your wants and needs, simply change the word should to want whenever you need to make a choice. So instead of thinking, I should go to a meeting tonight, you can think, I want to go to a meeting tonight.

Today I will keep my focus on what I want and need to become n stronger person. I will make choices that support my recovery.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

All miseries derive from not being able to sit quietly in a room alone.

~ Blaise Pascal ~

When we are alone, what’s the first thing we do? Do we turn on the radio, call a friend, invite someone over, make plans to go out, or turn on the television? How easy is it for us to be in silence for a period of time?

Perhaps we grew up in homes filled with confusion and yelling and everyone talking at once. Silence may be uncomfortable for us. Perhaps we prefer to fill our rooms with noise so we don’t feel alone. Whatever method we choose to drown out the sounds of silence, we are also drowning out another sound—the inner self.

How can we possibly think, read, meditate, or write in a journal with noise bombarding us? To learn to sit comfortably alone in silence, we need to try it in small steps. We can start with five minutes, then ten, then fifteen, then a half-hour. By gently easing ourselves into quiet moments, we will allow our inner selves the time and space in which to grow.

I can spend a short time alone in silence, and listen to my inner self.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Expressing love

As we recover, we come to realize the presence of a Higher Power in our lives. Eventually we realize how much progress in recovery comes through our Higher Power. We realize that we are loved.

Being loved, we can love others, but we cannot love mankind until we love our God. And we cannot love our God until we love each other. (And we cannot love each other until we love ourselves.)

When we practice loving our fellows (in thought, word, and deed), we feel the presence of our Higher Power and feel that we, too, are loved.

Do I express my love for others?

Higher Power, help me recognize your presence and power in my life. Help me love others as I am loved.

I will show my love for others today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

But let me think away those times of woe;
Now ’tis a fairer season….

~ JOHN KEATS ~

Newcomer

I feel trapped and miserable. I don’t want to pick up my addiction, but, frankly, my life feels bleak without it. I’m not like those goody-goodies who do everything right and spout program. I’ll never be like them. What’s the point of being in recovery, if I feel this bad?

Sponsor

In recovery, I make the decision not to change my mood with an addictive substance or behavior today. And I can make other decisions as well. Recovery is the freedom to make choices. I can choose to remain isolated with feelings of fear, anger, and loneliness, or I can choose to share my feelings with another recovering person. I can arrange to go to a meeting. I can make phone calls—even short ones—to people whose numbers I have asked for. If I only reach answering machines (some days are like that!) I can choose to leave messages asking people to call back. I can let go of results, knowing that I’ve done my part. If I’m feeling stressed, I can light a candle or just sit quietly for a few moments to relax and breathe. I may read a page from some program literature.

We can choose to put yesterday and tomorrow “on the shelf” and just let ourselves be, for this moment.

Today, I make choices that support my recovery. I have the willingness to be happy.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

The difference between your pre-AA existence and your present is in direct ratio to the extent “God’s way of living” has influenced your life.

Those of us who have witnessed the miracles in our own midst and who have felt the surge of power that we acquired when we tapped this unlimited reservoir, know that our “horsepower” is dependent on our God-power.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Be grateful you have been given two ears and only one mouth.

2) There is no mistake so great as that of being always right.

3) Discover yourself. Everything else has been done.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Life Is a Celebration

Lord, help me today to:
Mend a quarrel.
Seek out a forgotten friend.
Dismiss suspicion and replace it with trust.
Write a friendly letter.
Share a treasure.
Give a soft answer.
Encourage another.
Manifest my loyalty in word and deed.
Keep a promise.
Find the time.
Forego a grudge.
Forgive an enemy.
Listen.
Acknowledge any wrongdoing. 
Try to understand.
Examine my demands on others.
Think of someone else first.
Be kind.
Be gentle.
Laugh a little.
Smile more.
Be happy.
Show my gratitude.
Welcome a stranger.
Speak Your love.
Speak it again.
Live it again.
LIFE IS A CELEBRATION!

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THY WILL BE DONE

Thy will be done on earth, as it is in heaven (Matthew 6:10)

Now we too often choose to use our free will in a negative way; allowing ourselves to think selfishly, and this wrong thinking brings upon us all our troubles. Instead of understanding that it is our essential nature to express God, to be ever about our Father’s business, we try to set up our own account. We abuse our own free will, trying to work apart from God; and the very natural results is all sickness, poverty, sin, troubles, and death that we find on the physical plane. We must never for a moment try to make plans or arrangements without reference to God, or suppose that we can either be happy or successful if we are seeking any other end than to do his will.

Our business is to bring our whole nature as fast as we can into conformity with the will of God. “In his will is our peace,” said Dante, and the Divine Comedy is really a study in fundamental states of consciousness, the Inferno representing the state of the soul that is endeavoring to live without God, the Paradisio representing the state of the soul that has achieved its conscious unity with the divine will. It was the sublime conflict of the soul that wrung from the heart of the great Augustine the cry, “Thou hast made us for Thyself; and our hearts are restless until they find themselves in Thee.”

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

I’ll Be Your Rock

A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

The acclaimed motion picture Field of Dreams touched the hearts of millions and was nominated for an Academy Award as best picture of the year. Actor Kevin Costner accepted the lead role in spite of a deluge of criticism from his advisors, who warned him that he could damage his image and career by making a “Care Bear” film. The sponsoring studio also levied immense pressure against Costner and producer Phil Robinson in an effort to add sex and violence to make the movie more marketable. When Robinson was tempted to buckle, Costner urged him, “Don’t give in, Phil—I’ll be your rock.” Encouraged by Costner’s support, Robinson held his ground, and the film went on to be a huge success without exploitative elements.

Is anyone your “rock”? Have you acknowledged this person? Are you a rock for another? What can you do to support someone who is being challenged to hold to their vision?

The support of a friend during a time of adversity can make the difference between success and failure, despair and triumph. Encouragement and confidence are priceless spiritual gifts that can change an entire life.

Give me the strength to be a rock to my friends. Help me sustain the spirit of my loved ones and to be open to receive their support.

Founded in Spirit, I can do all things in the name of love.

[bluidkiti]

February 9

Step by Step

Today, set aside a couple of minutes to think about drinking. And in mustering the courage to be absolutely honest, Memory Lane will be strewn with broken whiskey bottles, broken hearts, broken dreams, broken promises, broken potential, lost time, lost jobs, lost friends, lost relatives, grief, sorrow, tears, loneliness, emptiness, prayers to a porcelain god, dry heaves, the color of vomit on a bed pillow the morning after, remorse, guilt, and swearing no more – until I jump into the insanity of the vicious cycle again. There are no fond memories of alcohol, no memories of any good times before they weren’t good anymore, no romanticizing of the reality of my drinking. Today, I’ll think about drinking – and I’ll refuse to lose anymore. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

EMOTIONS

We know too much and feel too little. At least we feel too little of those creative emotions from which a good life springs.

~ Bertrand Russell ~

A fear of dealing with deep emotional experiences must not become a retreat from reality. We can’t stick our heads and our hearts in the sand and avoid experiencing our emotions, and still hope to grow in the Program. Only robots are emotionless, unable to grow and change.

We need energy to make the spiritual growth to which we aspire. All emotions are sources of energy. None are static. Power emerges from every emotion, be it positive and constructive, or negative and harmful. The power unleashed by our emotions will fuel our spiritual growth if we use it correctly.

We need to steer the energy of dangerous emotions such as fear and anger into beneficial channels. We need to keep emotions like love and humility from becoming excessive.

I am fortunate to have found a way to deal with positive and negative emotions through my recovery program.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

I never think of the future, it comes soon enough.

~ Albert Einstein ~

In our spiritual development, we learn to think about time in new ways. Many of us have come to our healing journey stuck in the past, imprisoned by fears or angers that arose years ago. We live in the past through regrets and grief’s about things that can never change, and we translate them into the future with fears and foreboding. Yet we all know that life is only in the present. All we need to do is live today.

Our memories shaped us but our development is not finished. Today, we don’t have to deal with all the problems we can foresee in the future. Today we are given a hand to play, and we can play the cards we have as we choose. With the spiritual guidance of our recovery path, we can resolve the pain of the past and our fears of the future. Our Higher Power reassures us that we will never be alone.

Today, once again, I awake into the present and I thank God for the chance to live this day. I will let my Higher Power care for my fears and regrets.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Prayer is not a science.

~ Mary McDermott Shideler ~

Since becoming clean and sober, many of us are coming to understand the purpose and value of prayer in our lives. Our friends tell us that any words spoken in sincerity to our Higher Power serve as prayers. That’s good fortune for women like us.

This means we have the freedom to pray in any way that satisfies us. Now we can talk with God whenever and however it suits us. We will be heard, always. We will be answered when the time Is right. What an empowering opportunity! Coming to believe this gives us a respite from our Incessant fretting over everyday concerns.

Prayer can be anything—a thought, a request, a conversation, a plea, a dream. Our honesty is all that’s needed. Prayer is not mysterious unless we make it so.

Every thought I take to God is a prayer. Today I’ll be free of anxiety if I think of God before every action I take.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I want to face my liabilities

I’ve been afraid to do Steps Four and Five. Although it makes sense to become more honest about myself, I’m afraid of the guilt and the shame—some of which I’m feeling already. I am afraid that somehow I’ll be rejected or punished. Yet what I need more than anything is understanding and acceptance.

As I have struggled (and watched others struggle) with these two Steps, I’ve learned that their acceptance and forgiveness are so important to my recovery. But I’ve also learned that one must be ready to do them. (There is no hurry. There are no tests. And it’s OK to take my time.) Before proceeding with Steps Four and Five, I need faith in my higher power, trust in the program, and the courage to face my liabilities.

When I feel ready, first I will carefully pace my inventory. Then I’ll select a Fifth Step listener who truly understands dual recovery.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

There is no greatness where there is not simplicity, goodness, and truth.

~ Leo Tolstoy ~

Intimacy is friendship at its deepest level, the profound comfort that comes from complete trust between two human beings. It means being loved unconditionally, as is, for our spiritual selves rather than as a package with decorative trimmings and marks of status. And it means loving back the same way.

We learn about intimacy from our families of origin. Many of us, however, didn’t have very good role models, so intimacy eludes us.

But all is not lost. Working the Twelve Steps in a Twelve Step fellowship makes us honest. Then when someone loves us, they love us. We are being who we really are (as best we know) and in so being we offer ourselves to another. It doesn’t mean we won’t get hurt if the feelings aren’t mutual, but at least we’re spared the effort of trying to be what we’re not or living in fear that we’ll be found out. On the other hand, if the feelings are mutual, what great joy to finally be with a friend and be who we really are.

Today help me find the courage to be as honest as I can be in all that I do.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Making mental connections is our most crucial learning tool… to see patterns, relationships, context.

~ Marilyn Ferguson ~

One day, on the famous “bullet train” from Kyoto to Tokyo, passengers rushed to one side of the train just in time to see thick clouds suddenly part, revealing the beauty of Mount Fuji. They exclaimed with excitement and took pictures until, just as suddenly, the clouds once again hid the mountain.

The incident affected the rest of the journey. People who had been strangers started talking to one another, more aware of all around them. Those who had been sleeping awakened and watched the scenery pass by as the train sped to its destination.

Those passengers shared a common connection that brought them unity. The same is true in your recovery. You are an essential part of every meeting you attend. The story you bring to others is a story with which they are familiar. The thoughts and feelings you have resonate with them. Every time you share your thoughts and feelings, you become empowered. It is through this connection that you can come to realize that you are an important part of the world.

Today I will be aware of the simple truth that I belong. I trust that I am part of everything and everyone around me.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Life is like a library owned by an author. In it are a few books which he wrote himself, but most of them were written for him.

~ Harry Emerson Fosdick ~

In our minds there are multitudes of stored memories, knowledge, and skills. Some of these are the results of living and learning, but most are information given to us by others. Our family, friends, co-workers, teachers, and children are the greatest sources for our storehouses of information.

Most of our learning comes from others. Teachers give us much in the way of facts. Our family instructs us in morals. Friends show us different personalities and lifestyles. Our children reflect what we’ve taught them and give us their views of the world.

All the information we have is valuable to our growth and maturity. Every person we meet, each place we visit, and everything we try contribute to our library of knowledge and experience. At times we may borrow from what is on our shelves, but we must keep our shelves stocked with fresh material. Each night we can write a new volume based on the day’s experiences.

I have more valuable contributions to make to my library of knowledge and experience.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Remembering our powerlessness

If we’ve been around so long that we think our bad times are over and we can’t get “crazy” again, then we probably have already gotten “crazy” in the head. None of us is immune to relapse nor so spiritual that we have no room for improvement. If we think we no longer need help, we may be in trouble already.

If we have forgotten our powerlessness, we may have to learn it all over again. As addicts, we will always be at risk to relapse, but with proper guidance we can be productive and fulfilled.

Do I realize how powerless and at risk I truly am?

Higher Power, I take pride and joy in being clean and sober, but help me remember how powerless I still am and keep me humble.

I will remind myself of my powerlessness today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Example is always more efficacious than precept.

~ SAMUEL JOHNSON ~

Newcomer

It’s devastating to me to watch old friends and family members whose lives are still being screwed up by this disease. How can I convince them to join me in recovery before it’s too late? I’m sad and frustrated. Life’s so unfair! Why am I in recovery, while they’re still suffering?

Sponsor

Recovery is a gift that somehow, against all the odds, has been given to you. You can refuse it, trash it, or think yourself out of it. Loss of recovery not only would be your loss, but would also be a loss to all who could be helped by your example. You have a responsibility to maintain it each day, to nurture it by going to meetings, by using the tools that have been given to you, and above all by not picking up addictive substances and behaviors.

Friends and family members who need recovery but who don’t want it yet may be able to see the changes in us over time. Even though we’d like more than anything to persuade them to do themselves a favor and join us in recovery right now, we need to accept that this approach doesn’t work. Could anyone have persuaded you?

I am entitled to the gift of my recovery. I cherish this gift, not by preaching or trying to rescue others, but by making recovery central in my own life.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Many practicing alcoholics know their desperate need for AA, but are reluctant to do anything about it as they feel their friends would ridicule them, and so they continue drinking and making themselves ridiculous.

Too many of us put too much emphasis on the reactions of people whose reactions are not worth considering.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Sometimes the worst things in life happen after you get what you think you want.

2) FOG: Fear, Obligation, Guilt

3) Don’t just do something. Stand there!

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Language of the Heart

Dear God, You know my needs before I ask, my heart before I pray, and my gratitude before I even offer my thanks. You understand me better than I understand myself, and I thank You for communicating with me in the language of the heart.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

OUR DAILY BREAD

Give us this day our daily bread (Matthew 6:11)

Because we are the children of a loving Father, we are entitled to expect that God will provide us fully with everything we need. If we do so expect, in faith and understanding, we shall never look in vain.

It is the Will of God that we should all lead healthy, happy lives, full of joyous experience; that we should develop freely and steadily. To this end we require such things as food, clothing, shelter, means of travel, books, and so on; above all, we require freedom. In the Prayer all these things are included under the heading of bread. Bread, that is to say, means not merely food in general, but all things that man requires for a healthy, happy, free, and harmonious life. But in order to obtain these things, we have to claim them, not necessarily in detail, but we have to claim them, and, we have to recognize God and God alone as the Source and fountainhead of all our good. Lack of any kind is always traceable to the fact that we have been seeking our supply from some secondary source, instead of from God Himself, the Author and Giver of life.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

As Thyself

I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line.

~ Lucille Ball ~

“My ex-wife wants me to do one thing, my son wants me to do something else, and my girlfriend has another agenda,” Tom complained to me during a seminar.

“What would you like to do?” I asked.

Tom looked stunned. “Me? I don’t know.”

“Think about it,” I suggested.

The next day, Tom came on-stage and reported, “Yesterday was a turning point in my life. Alan asked me what I wanted to do, and that was the perfect question. I realized that I’ve spent most of my life trying to please other people. For a moment, I set aside what everyone else was asking me to do and considered what would make me happy. I came up with something that not only empowered me but would work for everyone else. I feel like I have my life back!”

Jesus’s most often-quoted commandment is: “Love thy neighbor as thy–self.” Usually we equate this advice with taking good care of our neighbors, but we often overlook the “as thyself” portion. If you are loving your neighbor more than yourself, or at the expense of yourself, you have not fulfilled the commandment. Jesus was suggesting that we love all equally, including ourselves. If your vision of service does not include your own happiness, you’ve left out a very important person.

The universe works on a win-win basis. There is always a way for everyone to be taken care of. Do not stop until you have blessed everyone, including yourself.

Help me find the compassion to honor my own heart, along with others.

I give myself the kindness and forgiveness I would shove others.

[bluidkiti]

February 10

Step by Step

Today, review Step 10, the follow-up and maintenance of the Fourth Step of “moral inventory” infamy, with two purposes in mind: to detect any pending resurgence of any character defects that might derail my recovery, and to measure if I am proceeding with the program’s integrity. In working for and progressing toward sobriety and maximum benefits, I must also be reminded that the program expects and deserves something from me in return: openness, honesty, humility, gratitude, and ethical 12th-stepping. Today, my 10th Step is designed to determine if I am working with gratitude and respect of the program’s entire steps and traditions and, in return, that I am respecting the program through honesty, integrity and loyalty. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

ROSE GARDENS

Give me roses to remember in the shadow of December.

~ Margaret L. Woods ~

When we began recovery, nobody promised us a rose garden. Yet each day in recovery we find that we do have a rose garden full of cherished beauty.

No flower garden will ever produce lovely blooms for us unless we work constantly at weeding, hoeing, mulching, fertilizing, pruning dead wood, watering and spraying for plant enemies. How much spiritual growth our garden brings us depends on the amount of spade work we do.

The gifts of the Program are realized when we put our best efforts to work. This way of life is based on our positive action.

I must make my life like rich soil so that what is planted within me will be nourished and grow.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Real friends are those who, when you’ve made a fool of yourself, don’t feel that you’ve done a permanent job.

~ Erwin T. Randall ~

Friendship is one of the most important elements in a rich and joyful life. Good mental health requires that we not walk through life without one or two good friends. Many of us have been very lonely. We built invisible shields around ourselves that protected us from letting others know what we were thinking or doing, but they also separated us from the comfortable closeness of good friends. Many of us have a deep and abiding anxiety about being vulnerable to anyone, and many of us are especially guarded about getting close to other men.

In our growth as men, we are abandoning notions of perfection in ourselves and in others. We don’t expect perfection, and we can expect our friends to cut us some slack when they see our mistakes and our weaknesses. True friends see in each other a complex weaving of many qualities, many experiences, and a mixture of more and less attractive qualities.

Today I will give my friendships the primary place they deserve.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Loving means moving my ego aside and letting my Higher Power send energy through me to others.

~ Jane Nakken ~

We commonly hear in Twelve Step meetings that ego is the culprit in our experiences, but what does that mean? Isn’t having a healthy self-image the same as having a strong ego? Not exactly; a strong ego is not necessarily a healthy one. But how can we tell the difference?

Perhaps the best way is to look at our behavior. If we are trying to control others against their will, the unhealthy dimension of our ego has taken over. Backing off, letting that person be directed by a Higher Power rather than by us, enhances the good feelings we have of ourselves. That’s how a healthy self-image is developed.

I will love the people in my life today. They are here with me now because that is God’s assignment for me.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can get by with less money

Recovering from two chronic illnesses costs money. And these days I have little—all I can manage is a part-time job. Sometimes it’s hard to pay the bills. I miss what extra money I used to have. I can’t have fun the way I used to.

On the other hand, does that mean I can’t have any fun at all? In the Sunday paper I noticed a list of free events for “folks on a budget” (that’s me—and apparently I’m not alone!). True, money is important, but maybe I don’t have to let it be so important. Maybe this is a chance for me to change how I think about money.

I will make a note of two free things I like to do, or two free places I like to go, and tack the note on my bulletin board.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

The more balanced our lives, the more serene we feel.

~ Ann Smith ~

Recovery is a balancing act. As we begin to grow and change, we find that balance is a key opening the door to serenity. In our old using days, we lived on the edge and had become disaster experts. Major areas of our lives seemed to be in constant flux. We had disturbed relationships, little or no spirituality, poor emotional and physical health, and trouble with money.

Today our world is changing. We are coming to value and cherish our serenity and honesty. When one of our major life areas is out of balance, we find that we pay attention. We’re beginning to see patterns and, through these patterns, a new hope for real, lasting change. By the grace of God, we seem to be losing our high tolerance for confusion and uncertainty. Every new day, our newfound knowledge about ourselves and our spiritual guidance are working together to change our lives.

Today help me find the middle ground and take the time I need to find my balance.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

If you’re feeling miserable, force yourself to smile broadly, holding your goofy grin at least ten seconds. When you relax your face, you’ll actually feel happier.

~ Sandra Stier ~

It has been said that humor may be hazardous to your illness. Research shows that those who are seriously ill can use humor and laughter to help turn the tide of their illness. Yet when you are in pain, depressed, or stressed, the last thing you may want to do is smile.

A smile can open up a positive flow of energy, while laughter can provide a positive balance to negative feelings. They can be as beneficial to your body as aerobic exercise and as helpful to your mind as a peaceful meditation.

When you laugh at your problems and see humor in challenging situations, you open yourself to greater capabilities for handling whatever comes your way. A smile or a laugh can take you away from your problems and troubles—if only for a few moments—and provide you with the ability to see things with different eyes and a fresh perspective. You may discover that something you were obsessing about is really quite inconsequential, and something that caused you great upset is really not as terrible as you thought.

Today I will remember that it is okay to laugh through my tears and smile through my sadness.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

When folks have allotted themselves a task and work together in unison, they escape unhappiness.

~ Emile Zola ~

We may have been loners in the past, preferring solitude to the company of others. We may have spent time as children buried in books instead of outside playing with other children. We may have endured high school without lots of dates. We may now feel more comfortable with people in one-on-one situations rather than in large groups.

A meeting is an ideal place to learn how to interact with others. We don’t have to act a certain way or hide our feelings, because our group will understand us no matter what. We can give as much as we choose and they will neither harm us, nor ask for more.

By attending meetings regularly, we’ll learn they exist because people are working together in unison. Someone “opens up,” others make coffee, one will chair and one will speak, and some will clean up at the end. We can learn that the strength of our group lies in the ability of each member to do what is comfortable for him or her. Such coexistence can help us learn we can gather strength from numbers.

I can do something to add to the strength of the group.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Praying for things

It seems that in our selfishness we’re always praying for the things that we want and not the things we need. If we pray for and receive luxury sexual fulfillment, or an easy life, what do we gain? Certainly not strength, wisdom, and love.

To gain strength we must carry burdens; to gain wisdom we must become honest with ourselves; and to gain love we must become loving. These virtues are not accomplished through material things, sex, or a soft life.

Am I praying for the right things?

Higher Power, help me pray for the right things and to accept that you will give me what I need and not necessarily what I want.

Today I will pray for

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

As we advance in life, we learn the limits of our abilities.

~ JAMES FROUDE ~

Newcomer

If I hear “This is a ‘we’ program” one more time, I’ll get sick. I don’t like groups, I don’t like the idea of depending on this program, and I don’t like the idea of depending on a Higher Power to take care of me. I’ve always been a strong person. I cherish my independence.

Sponsor

Let’s take a look at some different kinds of dependency. Of course, there are dependencies that aren’t appropriate; they keep us from growing, just as our addictions did. For example, a parent’s continuing financial support of a grown child who is capable of earning a living on his or her own enables a mutual dependency that’s probably unhealthy for both parties.

There are other kinds of dependency that most of us accept without hesitation. When we strike a match, we expect a flame; when we put seeds into the earth, we trust that plants will grow. Dependency isn’t enslavement. If we’re diabetic and depend on daily insulin to regulate our blood sugar level, we don’t regard ourselves as weak. We’re grateful that the means exist to keep our disease in check. The same is true of Twelve Step programs for those of us who acknowledge our addictions. We can count on these meetings being here when we need them. We can count on the fact that if we follow the program, we will not have to depend on addictive substances and behaviors.

Today, my willingness to depend on this program gives me freedom.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

We should choose to want less of material things and more of substantial values.

Happiness comes not from possessions but from an ability to possess the things that assure happiness. Live up to the Twelve Steps as best you can and you will find your sense of values will change and that real, lasting happiness is within your reach.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Denial, is not just a river in Egypt.

2) Grateful addicts don’t drink and drug and drinking and drugging addicts aren’t grateful.

3) We must learn from the mistakes of others because we won’t live long enough to make them all ourselves.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Am I Willing?

Dear Higher Power, help me:

To forget what I have done for other people, and to remember what other people have done for me.

To ignore what the world owes me, and to think what I owe the world.

To put my rights in the background, and my duties in the middle distance, and my chances to do a little more than my duty in the foreground.

To see that my fellow members are just as real as I am, and to try to look behind their faces to their hearts, as hungry for joy as mine is.

To own that probably the only good reason for my existence is not what I can get out of life, but what I can give to life.

To close my book of complaints against the management of the universe and look for a place where I can sow a few seeds of happiness—am I willing to do these things even for a day?

Then I have a good chance of staying with the Program.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THE GIVER OF OUR BREAD

People think of their supply as coming from certain investments, or from a business, or from an employer, perhaps; whereas these are merely the channels through which it comes, God being the Source. A particular channel is likely to change, because change is the cosmic law for manifestation. Stagnation is really death; but as long as you realize that the Source of your supply is the one unchangeable Spirit, all is well. The fading out of one channel will be but the signal for the opening of another.

In its inner and most important meaning, our daily bread signifies the realization of the Presence of God—an actual sense that God exist not merely in a nominal way, but as the great reality; we can rely upon Him to supply all that we need to have; teach us all the we need to know; and guide our steps so that we shall not make mistakes. This is Emanuel, or God with us.

But my God shall supply all you need . . . (Phillipians 4:19).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Pass the Salt

Respect the past in the full measure of its desserts, but do not make the mistake of confusing it with the present, or seek in it the ideals of the future.

~ Jose Ingenieros ~

As I unpacked my suitcase at a hotel, I discovered that I had left two of my favorite articles of clothing hanging in a closet at another hotel 2,000 miles away. As I picked up the phone to call the hotel to see if the items had turned up in Lost and Found, I noticed that I was hesitating. I realized I didn’t want to call because I didn’t really want to retrieve the items. One was a sweatshirt given to me years ago, and another was a casual shirt I have customarily worn on plane flights. Both felt very old, laden with memories and history I no longer wanted to carry with me. I put down the phone and smiled. I was done with the shirts. They did not belong to me now, and I would not call them back to me.

Every time we haul an old, painful memory into the now, we are phoning a distant hotel and asking for our tattered garments to be forwarded to our new abode. Messengers will do so if we ask. Then we wonder why our present looks like our past. But we are under no obligation to replay old scenes; all of life is optional, including reliving ancient pain. Every day we are free to choose anew. If today looks gruesomely like yesterday, and your life is a long replay of Groundhog Day, do not blame karma, the environment, or other people. Instead, look at the choices you are making today.

The Bible tells how, as Sodom was being destroyed, God told Lot and his family not to look back. Lot’s wife disobeyed, and she was turned into a pillar of salt. The story is a metaphor. When we clutch at the old after it no longer serves us, we become petrified. Salt is a preservative. We cannot preserve the past; we must release it to make way for a fresh new future.

I return my past to You, and allow You to make me new.

I release the past and invite love to meet me in the present.

[bluidkiti]

February 11

Step by Step

Today, empower no one and nothing to doubt the self-confidence and self-respect I have developed in my recovery, nor will my progress be discouraged. People I might have injured in my drinking days but who cannot or will not accept my amends may want nothing more than to see me fail. They will not have that control over me, even if insecurity might want me to yield just to avoid a problem. But a bigger problem looms if I permit anyone or any situation to implant in me deeper insecurity or a disgraced self-confidence and self-respect. Today, with the AA’s principles as my lifeline, I will hold tightly onto what I have gained and will not allow anyone or anything to take it from me – not even alcohol. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SERVICE

Whomsoever shall compel you to go with him one mile… go with him…. Go another mile.

~ Og Mandino ~

No effort must ever seem so great that it will stop us from giving completely of ourselves in helping someone find the kind of life others helped us find. It is the responsibility of each member to go to any lengths in giving service. Whatever sacrifice it may require from us will bring great rewards.

We always learn that, in the act of one person helping another, no person can give without receiving, or get without giving. We learn from our sponsors that when they help us, they are also helping themselves. This experience is a very important part of the Program. Our 1st, 2nd, and 5th Traditions are grounded in the principle of service to others. We are privileged to share in that experience.

When I undertake to help another person or our Fellowship, I must strive to do more and serve better than is expected of me.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Time spent lauding is time spent with the gods.

~ Japanese proverb ~

Many of our stories have both a dark and a light side. As we make peace with ourselves, we can take ourselves less seriously. We hang out with others who have had similar experiences and we begin to relax. That is when the healing effect of laughter can move in. The worst of times has its funny side, and learning to laugh at it lightens the burden.

The inside jokes of a group that has lived through hard times are wonderful things to share. Suddenly we don’t feel so alone. If my brother can laugh at the stupid things he did, I can laugh at myself too. That sense of recognition—we know what it was like, we are insiders—is another form of bonding that heals us.

Today I will not take myself so seriously that I cannot laugh at myself.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Learning to listen to one’s own inner voice is the last crucial step to wholeness.

~ Paula Sunray ~

How does our inner voice develop? Those of us who grew up in violent families most often heard abusive voices. Or perhaps we grew up in near- empty homes where the absence of attention Injured our well-being. Almost certainly, the voices most of us heard didn’t affirm us. But the voices we can now cultivate, with the help of this program, will change us and make us whole and healthy.

Developing the inner voice we want and deserve may seem difficult at first. Luckily, sponsors get us on the right track, modeling habits that will help us change our lives, just as soon as we express our willingness. Becoming whole is our decision, and developing a healthy inner voice is our responsibility. Utilizing the program tools assures it.

I can listen to a loving inner voice if I practice loving myself and others today.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I help myself when I help others

Some nights when the phone rings, I hope it isn’t a friend calling for support. Even though I have some time in dual recovery, I’ve still got my own worries. I’ve still got my own pain. Some nights I just don’t have the energy for helping.

And yet, somewhere, through my higher power, I find the energy. When I hear a voice in pain, when I am asked for help, I know that I can listen. I don’t have to take on the pain or fix the problem, but I can be a good listener. And when the conversation is over, I can feel lighter about my own worries and yet stronger for having helped.

I will answer any call for support with all the strength of my program.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Be still…

~ Anonymous ~

“Be still,” says a mother to her children or a teacher to his or her students. At one time or another all of us have been told to be still, sometimes for good reason.

There is also good reason to tell ourselves to be still. Life is often hectic and stressful. Work, school, family, and social life can pull us in many directions. When we can hardly think because of so many things going on at once, the message “be still” is most helpful.

By stopping what we are doing and being still, we give our body, mind, and spirit a chance to recuperate. We can let the world race on without us. It will still be there when we are done, but by learning the art of being still, we re-enter the world more relaxed. And relaxed, we no longer are reacting to forces out of our control — we are accepting those things and choosing to put our energy into what we can control. Stillness gives us serenity and choices. It is how we work together with our Higher Power.

Today help me practice being still.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

It seems to me that there are two great enemies of peace— fear and selfishness.

~ Katherine Paterson ~

Imagine you are going on a vacation. A friend has offered to help you pack your bags, take you out to lunch, and then drive you to the airport.

You lay out the clothes and toiletries you will take, and your friend starts to pack them but not in your usual way. So you tell your friend how the items should be packed. Later your friend takes you to a restaurant. But it isn’t one you like, so you tell your friend to take you to the place where you want to eat. As your friend drives you to the airport, you notice it is not the route you would have taken, so you tell your friend the route to take. When you arrive at the airport, is it any wonder that your friend is more than happy to toss your bags out of the car and leave you on the curb?

When things do not go the way you want or planned, let go. Reach out to your Higher Power for the serenity you need.

When I humbly reach out to my Higher Power, I give up my need to control. Today I trust that my Higher Power will always hear and answer my prayers.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain.

~ Emily Dickinson ~

Many times we may say, “I need a meeting,” or “I need to call someone.” There are times when other people say the same things because they, too, are in need. The purpose of the program is to help ourselves, but we need to remember others are there to help themselves too. Do we know someone who needs help?

There are so many great rewards in helping another through a time of need. Probably the greatest reward is that we lose our self-centeredness. Helping another through pain or sorrow also lets us help ourselves through our pain and sorrow. We say some helpful things to another that we, too, benefit from hearing.

A third reward is seeing another person’s vulnerability. We may find it easier to take risks and expose our humanness by seeing another do the same. Finally, helping another is a way of showing love in a nonphysical way. Many of us may need to learn love isn’t only a relationship or sex. Love is gently showing concern and compassion with no thoughts of reciprocation.

I can help another and know there are great rewards in reaching out.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Avoiding procrastination

In the midst of our addiction, everything could be put off, including people: We had to have our stuff.

Now that we have the business of life to tend to—now that we have a life—are we doing what we need to today? Or are we putting things off until tomorrow? If we don’t take care of business today, we could relapse and lose what we have gained from the Twelve Steps and the fellowship.

Have I stopped procrastinating?

Higher Power, help me do what I need to do today; help me persevere to prevent losing what I have gained.

Today I will do three things that I have been putting off, they are

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Rest in natural great peace.

~ NYOSHULKHENPO ~

Newcomer

I keep hearing people say that giving up the addiction itself is only the beginning of the process. Today I’m feeling upset and downhearted. I don’t know if I can face the literature on the Steps yet.

Sponsor

As we prepare to continue on the path of the Steps, we can do an exercise that helps quiet our mental agitation and gently begins to restore our sense of connection with positive forces in our lives. We start by finding a comfortable position, either sitting or lying down, with our spines straight but relaxed. We can close our eyes, if that helps us concentrate. We take several deeper, slower breaths. Then we take a few minutes to think of positive aspects of our lives. One by one, we make mental note of things we’re grateful for. If we can’t think of any, we begin with air, water, food, then see what else occurs to us. As each blessing comes to mind, we picture it clearly and see ourselves benefiting from it. We breathe it in, and breathe out heartfelt gratitude. This is an exercise we can do any time of the day or night, even in situations when we’re not alone. It need only take a few moments.

Cultivating gratitude can help change our belief that what lies ahead will be burdensome. When you’re ready to begin exploring the Steps, you may even feel the joy and excitement that accompany an adventure.

Today, I feel life’s richness and beauty. I let it fill me.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

AA is full of paradoxes. Our great Victory came as a result of our unconditional surrender; because we fell we are able to lift others; because of our mental, moral and spiritual illness we attained a health we never had in our non-alcoholic days; because we were social outcasts we have become the hope of society.

Alcoholism, which was our weakness, has indeed become our strength.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Don’t judge yourself by the way you feel.

2) Sometimes you have to stop looking to find what you need.

3) FUBAR: ****ed Up Beyond All Recognition

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

The Way

Dear Lord, today I pray:
The way is long
Let us go together.
The way is difficult
Let us help each other.
The way is joyful
Let us share it.
The way is ours alone
Let us go in love.
The way grows before us
Let us begin.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

CLAIMING OUR DAILY BREAD

The common mistake, of course, is to suppose that a formal recognition of God is sufficient, or that that talking about divine things is the same as possessing them; but this is exactly on a par with supposing that looking at a tray of food, or discussing the chemical composition of sundry foodstuffs, is the same thing as actually eating a meal. It is this mistake that is responsible for the fact that people sometimes pray for a thing for years without any tangible results. If prayer is a force at all, it cannot be possible to pray without something happening. Pray regularly and quietly—then presently, the realization will come.

Another reason why the symbol of bread for the experience of the Presence of God is such a telling one, is that the act of eating food is essentially a thing that must be done for oneself. No one can assimilate food for another. In the same way, the realization of the Presence of God is a thing that no one can have for us.

For he satisfieth the longing soul, and filleth the hungry soul with goodness (Psalm 107:9).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Priorities

If you greatly desire something, have the guts to stake everything on obtaining it.

~ Brendan Francis ~

“You’ve got to hear this woman play the violin,” my friend Albert elbowed me. “It will bring you to tears.” (That wouldn’t surprise me, I thought—some of my friends have played the violin for me, and each time I wanted to cry.) When Barbara played at the concert I was attending, however, I was moved to my depths. She wielded the bow with awesome mastery and extracted a tone from her instrument unlike any I have ever heard. Within moments I was enraptured, and I did not want Barbara to stop. When she did, the audience gave her a standing ovation.

After the concert, Albert told me, “The way that Barbara got that violin a Stradivarius was as amazing as her performance. She was looking for a new violin in a modest price range, but when she found this violin, she knew it was for her. As you can expect, the price was astronomical. So she sold her house to buy the violin.”

I believe that Barbara made the right choice. The breadth of passion, joy, and beauty she brought into the world through playing that violin far exceeded any gifts she might have offered by inviting friends to her house for tea.

It is said that “all healing occurs outside of the safety zone.” In the same way success and extraordinary beauty are born of leaps of faith. When your heart is intent on living your dream, you will gladly let go of everything that is unlike the dream in order to manifest your vision.

Give me the knowledge of my worthiness, and the courage to invest in myself.

I am willing to give it all to have it all.

[bluidkiti]

February 12

Step by Step

Today, trust and have faith in the program more a fear of relapsing and tempting fate with “just one.” Instead of the emotional and physical demands of running ahead of the threat to sobriety, I will expend them on the faith, trust, confidence and safety of the program. In AA, I have been given the simple steps of surrender, action and service, and each is stronger than my preoccupation with fear of losing what I have gained. Today, AA is stronger than my alcoholism, and I have no reason other than insecurity to fear anything. Today, I will acknowledge the power of recovery. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

LET GO, LET GOD

WILL POWER = Our WILL-ingness to us a HIGHER POWER.

~ Anonymous ~

One of the greatest decisions any of us ever made concerned our Third Step. This decision seemed to go against everything we wanted to do. We all know so well that every time we tried to manage our own lives, we produced misery and heartache. Human beings seem created to fight the decision in Step Three, very hard for us to make, was one of the greatest decisions we ever made.

When we did our Third Step, we merely embraced the truth. When we decided to let God be God, we were able to participate in the plan. Whenever we let go and let God, we become a player on a team that will always win.

When what I knew in the past was mostly failure, the decision to let God’s will become mine continues to make sense.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Growing old is not growing up.

~ Doug Horton ~

We have all met men who seemed very wise and strong for their age and other men who seemed immature and stuck in a boyish mind with an aging body. So we ask, what is a truly grown-up man? We think of masculine values we admire, such as strength, courage, the ability to think for oneself, wisdom, self-respect, and a sense of balance and proportion in one’s actions and relationships.

Many of us have felt that we never really grasped the key to what adult masculinity was all about. We could play the role, and we could make it look pretty good, but we didn’t feel in our hearts that it was ours. By walking the daily path in which we get to know ourselves from the inside, and by learning to stay true to ourselves, we develop a true self. Our true self is, by definition, no longer trapped in boyhood. We have found our inner gyroscope, and from that comes the sterling feeling of authenticity that we wouldn’t trade for anything.

Today I am grateful for the wisdom and strength of character that is growing within.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Each day is a “workshop.” Let’s remember to keep our minds and hearts open so we won’t miss our opportunities.

~ Dudley Martineau ~

Looking at every day as a workshop for more productive or rewarding living eases the dread of new or unfamiliar circumstances. Developing the belief that we will be given exactly what we need to learn will change how we meet every twenty-four hours.

Before recovery we expected life to be hard. Our jobs often felt like drudgery. Our families seldom gave us the affirmation we longed for. Friends were unavailable. What we felt we deserved and sought, we often didn’t find. That was then. This is now.

It’s a simple change in perspective to come to believe that we are given what we need from our jobs, our families, our friends, every day. Accepting this belief will influence the outcome of every experience. Our lives will never seem the same.

I paid my dues for today’s workshop by becoming abstinent. What I will learn is up to me.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

It is an honor to be supportive

It’s an honor (and a gift) when a friend calls for support. As I listen, I am reminded of my own stages of recovery—what I’ve felt, experienced, learned.

And when I listen deeply—when I am fully present—I can see myself in the speaker and realize that in my own right, I have more to learn. I have come to see that recovery is discovery—a wondrous experience of becoming open to whatever life brings.

I will welcome and respect any call for support as a chance to learn more about recovery—as a “teacher.”

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

A soft answer turneth away wrath…

~ Proverbs 15:1 ~

There is nothing wrong with anger. Anger tells us we need to pay attention, that something’s happening to us. But we may need to learn new ways of expressing anger. We need to take responsibility for our feelings and use “I” statements to tell others how we feel without putting other people on the defensive.

Expressing anger in a healthy way is a skill, and we can learn it. As with all skills, it will take practice to develop new ways of expressing our anger. But we can learn to be assertive, not aggressive, even when we’re angry. Our recovery program can teach us ways to let go of anger, and can help us learn new healthy ways of telling loved ones how we really feel and what we need.

Anger needs expression. Without expression it builds, it simmers, it stockpiles, it blurts out sideways through sarcasm or whining, it ferments into resentment. With practice, however, we can make anger an ally instead of an enemy.

Today help me find a healthy way to express my anger.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

There are no victims, only volunteers.

~ Anonymous ~

Are you a volunteer for pain and negativity? If you are uncomfortable talking to a constant complainer, do you make yourself accessible, or do you avoid that person? If someone asks you to do something that makes you un-comfortable, such as attending a party where you know there will be drinking or using, do you say yes or no? If someone tells you a tale of woe, do you try to match the story with your own heartbreak? If someone asks, “How are you?” do you put on a sad-sack face and share all the things in your life that make you feel unhappy?

When you volunteer for pain and negativity, you continually place yourself in situations that perpetuate them. So rather than stay in an uncomfortable situation, leave. Excuse yourself from conversations or activities with those whose words or actions bring you down. Strive to respond positively, rather than negatively, to others. Seek out people who are centered and optimistic and who have inspiring things to say. Seek out the positive in all that you do, and you will find that you no longer want or need to be a volunteer for negativity!

Today I will choose to participate in helpful, positive, and up- lifting experiences. Such things can provide more comfort and joy in my life.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Be aware of yourself and validate your experience. Pay attention to your world, to what’s happening, and why. . . . Feel your strength. Value it, and use it.

~ Alexandra G. Kaplan ~

To truly exist in the here and now, we need to feel ourselves in the present. We need to enter each moment without the excess baggage of the past, nor the anticipation of the future.

How do we think or feel in the present? Take away thoughts of other times and we may feel lost and confused. It takes time to learn to live in the present and to trust it. We need to learn that, for as long as we’re in the present, we exist. We are.

Imagine the moment as a brand new car. All we need to do is open the door, hop in, and drive away. For that moment, our thoughts will not be focused on cars we used to own or on those we’re going to buy in the future. Instead, for that moment, we are in the here and now. That’s how each of our moments can be: fresh and clean and exciting.

I can sit in the driver’s seat and experience each moment as it occurs. Therein lies my strength.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Living today

Sometimes we expect so much so fast that we become nervous wrecks. Expecting answers for tomorrow’s or next week’s problem is not living today.

If we have a problem today, let us retake the Third Step, offer the problem to our Higher Power for an answer, and practice patience with the future.

Can I work on just today’s problem?

Higher Power, help me live one day at a time and to accept your answers when you send them.

My plan for working on today’s problem is

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

When God wants to he what is not God, man comes to be.

~ KARL RAHNER ~

Newcomer

I listened to a long reading from the AA Big Book that was all about atheists and agnostics, and how, if they expect to stay in recovery, they have to recognize the evidence that God exists. I didn’t find the God argument very convincing. Sometimes I think that the program literature is incredibly illogical and old-fashioned.

Sponsor

Yes, there are days like that. I, too, have sat in meetings saying, “No, no, no” to everything that I heard said about God. Though I may resist certain ideas, it helps me to remember that this isn’t a debating society. I don’t have to agree with everything I hear, but I’m not in this program to make intellectual arguments against the existence of a Power greater than myself. The intellect I’m so proud of today neither prevented me from engaging in addictive behavior nor led me to recovery. I’m here to address my addiction, and my path is the path of my spirit.

Each of us knows what our own experience of a Higher Power is. We don’t find this Power through argument—our own or anyone else’s—but through going deep within. We know that when we entered recovery, we surrendered our heavy task of trying to be God. Our egos are no longer in charge.

Today, I don’t have to be my own Higher Power.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

From the beginning of recorded history man has had his difficulties to overcome. In fact, history is a recording of these ordeals.

We, of this highly mechanized age, have turned our problems over to bigger and bigger machines to do our work for us. We have raised economic efficiencies to the point where we can provide all our needs and luxuries by easy work in just a few days a week. We are going soft.

No wonder, then, that when a problem confronts us we try to escape it by hiding in a bottle. We try to escape the seriousness of living, forgetting that when life ceases to be serious it will become a joke—at our expense.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Feelings are not facts.

2) Denial is not a river in Egypt, but you can drown in it.

3) Grateful alcoholics don’t drink, and drinking alcoholics aren’t grateful.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

On Awakening

God, please direct my thinking, especially move it from self-pity, dishonest and self-seeking motives.

As I go through the day and face indecision, please give me the inspiration, an intuitive thought, or a decision. Make me relax and take it easy; don’t let me struggle. Let me rely upon Your inspiration, intuitive thoughts, and decision instead of my old ideas.

Show me all through the day what my next step is to be and give me whatever I need to take care of each problem. God, I ask You especially for freedom from self-will and I make no requests for myself only. But give me the knowledge of Your will for me and the power to carry it out in every contact during the day.

As I go through this day, let me pause when agitated or doubtful and ask You for the right thought or action. Let me constantly be reminded that I am no longer running the show, humbly saying many times each day, “Thy will be done” and agreeing that it is.

I will then be in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity, or foolish decisions. I will be more efficient. I won’t be burning up energy foolishly as I was when trying to run life to suit myself. I will let You discipline me in this simple way. I will give You all the responsibility and all the praise.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

OUR DAILY BREAD

In speaking of the “bread if life,” Jesus calls it our daily bread. The reason for this is very fundamental—our contact with God must be a living one. It is our monetary attitude that governs our being.

. . . behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation (2 Corinthians 6:2)

The most futile thing in the world is to seek to live upon a past realization. The thing that means spiritual life to you is your realization of God here and now.

Be thankful for yesterday’s experience, knowing that it is with you forever in the consciousness that it brought about, but do not lean upon it for a single moment for the need of today. The manna in the desert is the Old Testament prototype of this daily nourishment. The people wandering in the wilderness were told that they would be supplied with manna from heaven every day but they were on no account to try to save it up for the morrow. When, notwithstanding the rule, some of them did try to live upon yesterday’s food, the result was pestilence or death.

So it is with us. The art of life is to live in the present moment, and to make that moment as perfect as we can by the realization that we are the instruments and expression of God Himself.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Sweet Success

Disappointments are the hooks upon which God hangs his victories.

~ Anonymous ~

Let me tell you about a man who was plagued by defeat. In ’31 he failed in business and declared bankruptcy. In ’32 he lost an election for the legislature. In ’34 his business failed again, and he declared bankruptcy a second time. The following year, his fiancee died. The year after that, he suffered a nervous breakdown. Two years later, in ’38 he was defeated in another election. In ’43 he ran for the U.S. Congress and lost. In ’46 he made another bid for a seat in Congress, and he was defeated. In ’48 he ran again for Congress, and again he lost. Seven years later, he entered a race for the U.S. Senate, and he was defeated. In ’56 his name was placed on the ballot for the Vice Presidency of the United States, and he lost the election. In ’58 he ran for the Senate and lost again.

In ’60—1860— he was elected President of the United States. His name was Abraham Lincoln. In spite of an incredible string of setbacks, he went on to become one of the greatest statesmen of history. He said, “You can–not fail unless you quit.”

The greatest victories are those we must persevere to accomplish. It is rare that great people just show up on the planet shining in glory. Often the most powerful world-change agents grow through experience and adversity. As a young lawyer, Mahatma Gandhi was literally laughed out of court when he became tongue-tied while arguing a ten-dollar case. Later he was thrown off a South African train because his skin was dark. Gandhi went on to become one of the greatest human liberators of the 20th century.

Eat defeat for breakfast. Do not let setbacks put you off; instead, use them as springboards to the success you desire. Only those who are willing to go the distance can taste the sweetness of victory.

Help me to not be put off by setbacks. Give me the strength to go all the way.

I succeed because I make up my mind to emerge victorious.

[bluidkiti]

February 13

Step by Step

Today, understand that not reaching back into yesterday and bringing the emotional baggage of regret, shame and grief into today is easier said than done, Instead come to terms by pledging once again to the program. If I can remember that most of the emotional wounds I bear today were bred on the battleground of active alcoholism, I ask for the wisdom not to deepen those wounds by way of a slip or relapse. As for dealing with any hurts from past losses, regrets and anything else bad, I must first forgive myself for my role in bringing on those injuries, and I must believe that my strongest amend is not to take the action that set it off – drink. Today, I confess that ignoring the mistakes of my past condemns me to repeat them, and my recovery may well hinge on staying in a program of recovery – and starting the process of forgiving myself. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SERENITY

Give me, kind Heaven, a private station ~ a mind serene for contemplation.

~ Alexander Pope ~

Serenity must be a permanent state of mind, not a temporary experience. We know that some degree of serenity must be present before acceptance is possible. Acceptance is an ongoing act required for any success in a recovery program. Therefore, it is obvious that we can’t afford to settle for merely feeling at peace.

Peace of mind is a mood we can create for ourselves only. Peace leaves as an attitude changes. Serenity is a life-time possession because it is not only with us but also within us. It cannot be taken away.

Serenity is positive. It is not a placid or negative state of being. It is a positive force for good.

Today, I’ll remember serenity comes and lasts when I stay tuned to God’s will and the principles of the Program.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

I’m more like I am now than I ever was before.

~ Anonymous ~

We are becoming more ourselves. That is our true calling. If we grow wiser and stronger with life experience, we learn to know ourselves and we find the confidence and courage to fulfill our best self. We walk a path that is sometimes very difficult and complicated. Weighing the choices before us, we seldom have a clear, unequivocal answer. But as we know ourselves better and as we gain confidence, we gradually fulfill our true nature.

A story in the Talmud describes a man at the end of his life who fears that he will be judged by God for not living a life like Moses. The rabbi replies that God will not judge him for not being Moses, but for not being himself.

Today I will allow myself to be more like I am than I ever did before.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Our inner journey is a transformative process. It involves becoming who we already are in essence and letting go of the phony in favor of the authentic self.

~ Mary Norton Gordon ~

Wearing the right face for every occasion was a goal many of us strived to master in years past. Quite likely we succeeded too. We were accomplished at reading the faces of others, discerning who we needed to be in order to please them. Our worth seemed dependent on pleasing them.

Recovery doesn’t mean we stop pleasing others. Learning to love others unconditionally, thus inspiring joy in them, is a benefit of recovery. But pleasing ourselves is of utmost importance too, and we can feel good about ourselves only if we are living honest lives. That means wearing the face that matches who we really are inside.

Our lives become less confusing as we learn to 11*veal our true selves. When we stop trying to be the person we think others want us to be, we will find more time to simply love them for the person they are, and to love ourselves too.

I will please others simply by loving them as they are today. I can be honest and loving just being me.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I want to deal with my painful emotions

I feel alone, lost, and afraid. Again. Once again I find myself thinking about escaping from my sadness and anger by getting high. Yet I would only plunge myself into more guilt, shame, and remorse. Instead of producing relief, it would produce a lapse.

I don’t want to do this again. It hurts too much and helps too little. But the good news is that I am slowly, truly, learning that using drugs and alcohol doesn’t prevent emotions, it only postpones them. It keeps me from facing them and then adds a new layer of painful emotions. I am looking forward to change.

When I need to release pain, I will try writing about it, drawing it, or talking about it with a friend, sponsor, or therapist.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Humility is like your underwear; it shouldn’t show.

~ Anonymous ~

Humility is knowing there are forces outside ourselves, like the grace of God, and family and friends, who have helped shape our lives. There is no humility without gratitude.

It’s always nice to be with humble people because no matter how talented or experienced or successful they are, they will treat us with dignity and respect and be genuinely interested in us. Humble people appreciate themselves and other people, and know the value of others’ experiences and wisdom. We know who the humble people are, not because they’ve told us about their humility, but because we can see it in the way they live their lives. In time, we can become more like them.

Today let me practice humility, and in doing so attain the wisdom and peace it brings.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

God gave us life. What are we willing to give him in return?

~ Oral Lee Brown ~

Think of those people who only call when they need something, rarely if ever give a gift, say they are too busy to offer assistance, or focus solely on themselves in conversations. You would consider such people to be selfish, and you might, over time, distance yourself from them.

Now think about your relationship with your Higher Power. How frequently do you connect with your Higher Power? Do you pray only when you need something? Do you think and speak only of yourself in your prayers?

Just as there is a balance of give and take between two people in a healthy relationship, so should there be a healthy give and take between you and your Higher Power. Ask what assistance your Higher Power needs so that this loving presence can be felt by those around you. Open your heart and fill it with love and compassion, even for those you may not like. And set aside time to assist others who are less fortunate, so that they may understand that God considers the needs of all.

Today I offer assistance to my Higher Power. In my prayers, I will ask of what service I can be so that my usefulness on earth can benefit those around me.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Have you learned lessons only of those who admired you, and were tender with you, and stood aside for you? Have you not learned great lessons from those who braced themselves against you, and disputed the passage with you?

~ Walt Whitman ~

Wouldn’t it be grand if we could have everything our way! We’d have people at our beck and call. We’d never have to take responsibility for ourselves, never have to struggle for anything, never be refused any wish or want.

But how would we mature? Learning involves gains based on the effort we expend. We learned early that we couldn’t listen to a music box unless we wound it. We learned we couldn’t get good grades unless we studied. And now we’ve learned we can’t change our behaviors without working the program.

If we can’t see the results of the energy we put into things, then our motivation, determination, and confidence can’t grow. Some things will come easily, some won’t. But the things we work on now will mean the most in the end.

I am not afraid to put energy into something I really want. I need to do this for my self-esteem.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Solving problems

If we start the morning feeling hopeless, our day doesn’t stand a chance. But if we ask our Higher Power for help in the morning and then accept the help throughout the day, we won’t have to solve any problems alone.

We will see that problems can be resolved, and we are responsible only for our efforts. Do I leave the solutions to God?

Higher Power, grant me the strength to ask for help and simply to do my part well.

Today I will work on three problems and leave the solutions to God.
The problems are

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

The business of being human among other humans is holy business.

~ CATHERINE MADSEN ~

Newcomer

I keep hearing that this isn’t a religious program. So why is the word “God” everywhere? It’s in the Steps, and I hear people use it when they share in meetings. When they say “HP,” doesn’t it mean the same thing? And then there’s all this prayer and “spiritual awakening” stuff. How can you say it isn’t religious?

Sponsor

There is a big difference between the religious and the spiritual. This is a spiritual program. When I see in Step Twelve the words “having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps,” I think, not of a voice from the mountaintop, but of the ways my spirit has come alive—how I’ve become capable of living in the here and now, connected to my fellow human beings, conscious of so much I used to miss out on.

The program makes suggestions, not rules. There are no priests or rabbis, no prescribed beliefs, no blasphemies, no excommunication. “God as we understood Him” and “Higher Power” are terms meant to allow each of us his or her own understanding of the energy that sustains us. This program is not about what we believe, but about what actions we take—how we stay away from addictive substances, how we help others to stay on the path of recovery.

Today, I know that many things other than my own will are sustaining me.
I don’t have to be in charge of my own recovery.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

No election is won or lost until all the votes are in. On that occasion when we felt all was lost, that we had utterly failed and despaired of help from any source, we found the doors of our Fellowship and learned the underlying causes of our failure.

It was the admission of our failure, our complete inability to manage our lives, that opened the door to the greatest blessing. Over and beyond sobriety, through happiness and peace of mind, we finally found a conscious contact with a God of our own understanding.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) When making amends, a subtle shift occurs in our thinking. We go from thinking we were a mistake to acknowledging we made a mistake.

2) Don’t take yourself too darn seriously.

3) Success is not getting what you want; it’s knowing what you don’t need.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

A Morning Prayer

Good morning, God. You are ushering in another day, all nice and freshly new.
Here I come again, dear Lord. Please renew me too.
Forgive the many errors that I made yesterday 
And let me come again, dear God, to walk in Your own way.
But, God, You know I cannot do it on my own.
Please take my hand and hold it tight, for I cannot walk alone.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES

Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive them that trespass against us (Matthew 6:12).

This clause is the running point of the Prayer. It is the strategic key. Having told us what God is, how the universe works, how we are to do our own work, what our true nourishment or supply is, and the way in which we can obtain it, he now comes to the forgiveness of sins.

The forgiveness of sins is the central problem of life. Sin is a sense of separation from God, and is the major tragedy of human experience. It is, of course, rooted in selfishness. It is essentially an attempt to gain some suppose good to which we are not entitled in justice. It is a sense of isolated, self-regarding, personal existence, whereas the Truth of Being is the all is One. Our true selves are at One with God, undivided from Him, expressing His ideas, witnessing to His nature. Because we are all one with the great Whole of which we are spiritually a part, it follows that we are one with all men.

Evil, sin, the fall of man, in fact, is essentially the attempt to negate this Truth. We try to live apart from God. We act as though we could have plans and purposes and interests separate from him. All this, if it were true, would mean that existence is not one and harmonious, but a chaos of competition and strife. But, of course, it is not true, and therein lies the joy of life.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Still Good

The art of living lies not in eliminating but in growing with troubles.

~ Bernard Baruch ~

“How’s everything going?” my friend Tori asked me as we passed in a restaurant.

“Life is good,” I answered readily.

“It sure is,” Tori agreed. “Even at its worst, life is still good.”

Even when times are tough and we can’t see our direction, life is a gift. Sometimes the hardest times are our most productive and growth producing. I visited the home of a very wealthy doctor named John in Bremerton, Washington, where he and his family lived in a magnificent mansion with a heavenly view of the Olympic Mountains. John owned several expensive automobiles, played on a world-class pool table in his den, and enjoyed many comforts and luxuries.

As I chatted with his family over dinner, John reminisced, “When we first got married, we had nothing. We lived in a tiny apartment and watched our pennies. Jan worked hard to help us get by while I was immersed in school; we really didn’t know how we were going to make it. As I look back now, that was one of the best times of our life. In a way I enjoyed that period of earnest striving more than being successful and having all this stuff. ”

Life is always good. It isn’t always comfortable, easy, or understand–able, but it is good. Sometimes the most difficult moments bring us together in ways that we would miss if we stayed isolated. When I lived in New Jersey, the only time I saw and talked to some of my neighbors was after a snowstorm, when we would help push each other’s cars out of the snow. Many families have told me that a health crisis reunited them in a way that never would have happened otherwise.

Life is good, even at its worst. Love is always present.

Thank You for all the blessings You shower on me, even when I am not aware of them. Help me to continually celebrate the goodness of the life You give.

I bless every experience, trusting that God is with me.

[bluidkiti]

February 14

Step by Step

Today, no concession to any disappointment or fear of someone or something gone wrong, no caving in to self-pity as an excuse to wallow in the “poor me’s.” Sobriety does not promise being spared setbacks, disappointment, fears and seemingly insurmountable challenges – everyone faces them. As an alcoholic with a personality that is both emotionally and spiritually challenged I might be apt to “give up,” “give in” and whine, “Why me?” Answer: why not? AA has given me the tools to meet setbacks and disappointments effectively. It is up to me to use them. Today, then, I will meet disappointment, fear, frustration, anger and anything else potentially lethal as a challenge to find and nourish them into something less than bad. But I first must be in a place where I don’t want to twist anything into an excuse to drink, use, gamble, over-eat, whatever. Today, I choose not to want to return to the very dark place from whence I came. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

LOVE IS…

The pleasure of love is in loving.

~ La Rochefoucauld ~

Love is one of the most useful tools we have for building a house for spiritual living. We received love generously from new friends in our Fellowship who told us, “Let us love you until you can learn to love yourself.” Today we are happiest when we give love rather than seek it.

Love is being available to anyone who is in need. May we always give love to the seemingly unlovable until we can see them as lovable. Our ultimate joy would be to do, each day, one act of love in such a way that nobody but us would ever know its origin.

In recovery, the simplest love we can give is to wish others well. Our worst enemy would never deserve a wish that they resume the bondage of addiction.

Today, I’ll find love in my Higher Power, the Program, and my friends.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

All our loves are first loves.

~ Susan Fromberg Schaeffer ~

When we fall in love with someone, it is a unique thing that comes from deep within us. Any relationship is the creation of two people who open themselves to each other and share themselves beyond the usual boundaries. That is the excitement of true love. Two people give each other the keys to their private world, just as we might share the key to our home, trusting that it will be used with care and respect. This intimacy isn’t usually instantaneous. It builds on experience together.

In an intimate relationship, we have the responsibility to be good stewards of the trust given to us. Looking at our partner’s role is always so much easier than looking at our own, but we need to resist that easy temptation. Our first questions should always be, Do I make it safe for my partner to be open with me? Do I take my partner’s vulnerability as a trust that I do not abuse? Am I gentle and respectful with the key my partner gave me?

Today I will be a good partner, honoring and guarding the trust I have been given. 

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

My husband, four children, six grandchildren, and four great-grandchildren are the most important things in my life. I love them all.

~ Thelma Elliott ~

Liking, let alone loving, those closest to us seems elusive at times, because as relatives, we seldom put on our best face for each other. With ease we express our criticism. But coming to really love the members of our family, loving their faults as well as their strengths, will help us love ourselves. And loving ourselves is the primary lesson we are here to learn.

By the time we reach this program, we all have numerous regrets. But we can make amends and demonstrate through changed behavior our new commitment to acting from an attitude of love. Time is too fleeting and life too fragile to let our most important companions walk by unnoticed, unappreciated, unloved. Each family member will benefit, but even more important, our spirits will be lifted each time loving thoughts guide our actions.

I will take time to notice the most important friends I have, my family. Each family member will get my love and kind thoughts today.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can be forgiven

As I look closely at my assets and liabilities in Step Four, I see mistakes I am not proud of. I see mistakes that I still feel guilty about. It hurts to realize that I cannot undo them. It hurts even to admit them.

Yet in my dual recovery program, there is forgiveness. The more meetings I attend and the more I share, the more I sense the love and care of my fellow members. And as they accept me where I am in recovery—with my faults, failings, and problems—the more I accept myself, and the less shameful and guilty I feel. In the fellowship, I experience true forgiveness.

I will forgive one mistake I make today and one mistake of another.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

A mighty fortress is our God.

~ Martin Luther ~

Our Higher Power is there for us when we need a safe place, a place where there is only love. That fortress shields us from the dangers of the world, the thoughtless word, the unkind deed. Without judgment or criticism, our Higher Power loves us as we are, flaws and all. No one else can give us this kind of acceptance. No one else can bring us this kind of peace. How wonderful to be loved no matter what we do, no matter what mistakes we might make, to be loved and nurtured even when we don’t love ourselves.

Our Higher Power is there for us, any time we are in need, in the midst of a crowd or on an empty street. Springing from the goodness in us, our Higher Power will never abandon us, but is in us and with us forever. We can see our Higher Power’s grace everywhere we look, in the goodness of others, in nature, in a newborn baby, or in an older individual. Always, our Higher Power is there to protect, love, support, and nurture us.

Today let me give thanks for my Higher Power. Help me be grateful for the gifts I’ve been given.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

We do not love people because they are beautiful, but be-cause they seem beautiful to us because we love them.

~ Russian proverb ~

How would you write the words “I love you” to someone you love, using twenty-five words or less and without using the words “I love you”?

Intimate relationships can have a profound influence in your life. They can take you outside yourself, encouraging you to think about and give to others. They can make the less enjoyable aspects of life more enjoyable by providing companionship, communication, and support. They can bring you shared experiences, joy, and laughter. They can offer romance and passion. They can provide stability and security. They can strengthen and deepen love, both self-love and love for another person.

Perhaps the love you feel today is different from love you were shown in the past. The healthier you become, the more you will understand that love has a far deeper meaning than sex. Love is based on courtesy and kind-ness, openness and honesty, and acceptance and trust. Love is having a generous heart, a willingness to forgive mistakes, and a desire to see and fully accept who another person is.

Today I will write an “I love you” essay to someone I love. I will focus on the good qualities of that person and communicate how wonderful our love feels.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

I will love you no matter what. I will love you if you are stupid, if you slip and fall on your face, if you do the wrong thing, if you make mistakes, if you behave like a human being—I will love you no matter.

~ Leo Buscaglia ~

Wouldn’t it be nice if there were just one person in our lives who loved us no matter what our faults? And wouldn’t it be equally nice if we, too, could love just one person in the same way?

Love is not an easy emotion for us to feel. In the past we may have associated feelings of love with negative feelings such as pain, hurt, rejection, or disappointment. But we can put the negative feelings aside and learn how to feel love as a positive emotion.

Love does not necessarily mean sexual attraction or commitment. Love can simply be seeing someone for who he or she is, whether that person is a friend, co-worker, boss, family member, or lover. To show love, we can keep our actions simple—by making a phone call, writing a letter, or sharing a hug. Let’s show someone we care.

How can I use Keep It Simple to show someone I care?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Learning that God is love

“God is love.” Through love our lives can be made whole. If we love ourselves, we don’t abuse our bodies with alcohol and other drugs. If we love ourselves, we don’t mistreat our minds with hate. If we love ourselves, we don’t treat our fellows unkindly.

When we truly know that God is love—a love that includes suffering and pain as well as splendor and light—we need never be alone in despair again.

Do I know God is love?

Higher Power, I pray that I may know the meaning and power of your love.

I will seek to know God’s love today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

First, I came. Then I came to. Then I came to believe.

~ SAYING HEARD AT MEETINGS ~

Newcomer

Step Two begins, “We came to believe …” I’m uncomfortable with the idea that sooner or later I’m going to have to have the same belief in God that everyone else here has.

Sponsor

I’d be uncomfortable with that, too. Step Two isn’t about sticking around until your beliefs are similar to others’ beliefs. I can assure you that not everyone here shares the same spiritual beliefs or practices. Far from it.

I didn’t come here seeking to embrace a particular, prescribed belief, but I did come here seeking something. Addiction was in charge of my life. It had been a long time since I’d felt that I could truly believe in myself, in my connection with others. I was exhausted, scared, unhappy. Some people call this “rock bottom.” Some call it a spiritual crisis.

When I could admit that I wanted to stop my addictive behavior and that I hadn’t been able to stay stopped on my own, something changed. After coming to some meetings, I felt less alone, and I felt hope. I could look within myself and acknowledge that something in me wanted to live. The life spirit at the center of my existence was waking up. I wanted to be whole again.

In Step Two, we begin to accept that healing is possible, and that, in fact, it has begun.

Today, I look inward and see light and health.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Comparatively early in our drinking careers we knew our principal fault was our drinking, and we even knew but would not admit that our other faults were the offspring of the first.

We changed brands, we switched from whisky to beer, we changed our drinking companions, we put more time between drinks, we changed jobs, wives, localities. Somehow it never occurred to us that the only way to deal with our drinking was to abandon it to a glow death by starvation.

You can’t shoot, drown or strangle alcoholism but you can abandon it.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) GIFT: God Is Forever There

2) Focus on the program, not the problem.

3) If you saw myself as others see you, would you deny it?

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Who, Me?

I need to be forgiven, Lord, so many times a day. So often do I stumble and fall. Be merciful, I pray. Help me to not be critical when others’ faults I see. For so often, Lord, the same faults are in me.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

AS WE FORGIVE

As we repeat the Great Prayer intelligently, we are suddenly caught up and grasped as though in a vice, so that we must face this problem of separation from God. We must extend forgiveness to everyone.

Notice that Jesus does not say, “forgive me my trespasses and I will try to forgive others.” He obliges us to declare that we have actually forgiven, and He makes our claim to our forgiveness to depend upon that. Who could be so insane as to endeavor to seek the Kingdom of God without desiring to be relieved of his own sense of guilt? We trapped in the inescapable position that we cannot demand our own release before we have released our brother.

Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts (Psalm 139:23).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Be My Valentine

O, be swift to love! Make haste to be kind.

~ Henri F. Amiel ~

The legend of St. Valentine goes back to the early days of Christianity when Christians were being persecuted by the Romans. One Christian, Valentinus, was tried as a heretic and sentenced to death. In prison, Valentinus befriended a guard who respected his wisdom, and soon the guard brought his seven-year-old blind daughter, Julia, to Valentinus for lessons. Daily, the two talked of important things, and Julia developed a deep love and respect for her mentor. One day Julia asked him, “Valentinus, do you think I will ever be able to see?”

Valentinus thought for a moment and answered, “With love in your heart and belief in God, anything is possible, Julia.”

At that moment, Julia was overtaken with a flash of light, and suddenly her eyesight was restored. “Valentinus, I can see!” the child shouted.

“Praise be to God,” he humbly answered.

The next day when Julia came to visit Valentinus, he was gone. He had been taken to his execution. Julia found this note:

My Dear Julia,

Although we shall never see each other again, know that I will always love you. You are very dear to me. I will stay unseen by your side, and I will live in your heart. I believe in you.

Your Valentine

Be a true valentine by reminding your beloved ones that they are un–limited. Inspire them to trust their heart’s wisdom, and miracles will occur. And if you are your own valentine, remember that all the love you need is within you, just as you are, right where you are.

I pray to remind my loved ones of their highest possibilities.

I create miracles by using the vision of divine love.

[bluidkiti]

February 15

Step by Step

Today, carry from yesterday into this current 24 Hours the gratitude for all that has been given by the program and sobriety. I can claim a renewed faith because gratitude, if sincere and unselfish, DOES yield the fruits of humility, awakening and serenity – all that is promised in the program. But in having gratitude rewarded in an expected way, pray that my faith in my Higher Power and the program be strengthened and its power undiminished by time or human follies of greed, selfishness, a demand for more. Today, the gratitude of yesterday has evolved into a faith that, when conveyed without expectation of something in return, when sincere and when humble, can and does yield dividends of unexpected payoffs. Today, my faith has been awakened. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

THE PROMISES

The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it.

~ Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous ~

On page 83 of the Big Book, there begins a long paragraph worthy of study. The sentences in that paragraph have been referred to as “The Promises.”

We who are finding spiritual growth should frequently take time to examine the promises we find in working our Program. We always discover that we are working toward a definite purpose for promised rewards.

Just before the listing of the Promises, we read that we will be surprised at the spiritual progress we have made after finishing the Ninth Step. The Ninth Step concerns making direct amends.

We once believed that we needed a certain substance or behaviour in order to avoid loneliness and boredom. The Promises get rid of that idea. We are made aware that “God wants us to be happy, joyous, and free.”

After completing the journey through the first Nine Steps, the Promises begin to unfold for me.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

I imagine that God speaks to me, saying simply, “I kept calling to you, and you did not come.” And I answer quite naturally, “I couldn’t until I knew there was nowhere else to go.”

~ Florida Scott-Maxwell ~

We are willful. We worship individual determination and guts. A man wants to do things in the way that he devises for himself, and it may not occur to him to open himself up to a Higher Power. Yet our Higher Power is always there, calling to us.

There is a paradox in this spiritual lesson: more genuine strength and more options are in our hands when we let go of our willful, controlling attitudes. This is the secret wisdom of a man who has learned from experience. The young, unseasoned man tries to control everything and push on things that he cannot budge. The wiser, more experienced man says, “I see the limits of what is mine to change, and I can let my Higher Power take care of the things I cannot change.”

Today I will notice those concerns that I cannot fix, and I will let them go. Then I will focus on a few areas where I can make a difference. 

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Choices are not irrevocable. . . . They can be remade.

~ Julie Riebe ~

Knowing that we can make choices about every circumstance in our lives fills us with awe at the breadth of our personal power. For decades, perhaps, we felt we had none. Life was bleak and we were at its mercy. How thrilled we are to understand, finally, where our power begins.

We are learning so much from this program. At limes we wonder how we survived for so long on so little understanding. Our condition felt hopeless, and because we took no responsibility for changing our circumstances, nothing changed.

That’s true no more. Every day we intentionally make choices about what’s happening in our lives. Some choices, like changing a job or confronting a friend, are big. Others, like deciding whether to exercise today or tomorrow, are small. Large or small, our choices allow us to decide who we are, und none of our choices are without significance. I hat’s exciting!

I will choose carefully today. If a change of mind is in my best interest, then I can change my mind.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

It will help if I let go

When will this roller coaster ride stop? I work my dual recovery program for my addiction and psychiatric illness and still I have setbacks. I feel stuck. What else can I possibly do to get better? Sometimes I feel helpless. On very bad days, I feel hopeless.

And yet, when I take a deep breath and look back at the first three Steps, my program reminds me (yet again) that I do not control my dual illness. My program reminds me of my higher power who will help me cope with my struggles, who will help me recover, if I allow it. If I allow it, if I turn my will and my life over, I will know what to do to avoid the slips, prevent the setbacks, and regain stability. If I let that power help, I will get better.

I will review Steps One, Two, and Three and pray for courage.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Be honest with the man in the mirror.

We may find it easy to criticize another, to fault in him or her what we despise in ourselves. It takes so little effort to take another’s inventory. Yet, when we turn the magnifying glass on ourselves our vision blurs; we’re blinded by anxiety. For a long time chemicals blurred our vision. We were incapable of honesty and perhaps felt no desire to learn or change anything about ourselves.

Now we are asked to get spiritual, to get honest, to look at ourselves, to focus on the changes we need to make, and to leave others to their own keeping.

We can only change ourselves. Recovery asks that we acknowledge our shortcomings and pray for the courage to change the things we can. More than enough self-work lies ahead; enough to preclude our working on others. It’s important that we be real, that we not strive to be someone else. This is where the serenity to accept ourselves will come from.

Today help me tend my own garden and let others tend theirs.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

The Wolf and the Crane

A wolf had been eating when a bone became stuck in his throat. Soon, the pain became excruciating. He rushed to a pond, thinking water would loosen the bone. But he could not swallow. Frantic, he looked around and saw a crane watching him. “I would give anything,” he rasped, “if you would remove this bone from my throat. Your neck is long and your beak is strong. Please help me.”

The crane agreed. It lowered its neck and put its long beak into the wolf’s throat, removing the bone. “I would now like the reward you promised,” said the crane.

But the wolf growled. “It is enough that you have placed your head into my strong jaws, and I have spared your life. Be gone with you, or you will be my next dinner.”

The moral of the story: An enemy’s promises were made to be broken.

While making a fearless moral inventory, you may remember when you mistreated others, pushed them aside when they tried to keep you safe, or made promises you did not keep. Your promise today—to live a clean and sober life—can help you to make amends to them.

Today I will make a list of those who helped me and were always there for me and make amends to them.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

People are lonely because they build walk instead of bridges.

~ Joseph Fort Newton ~

Remember building snow forts? After a sticky snowfall we’d build a big snow wall. Then we’d mass- produce snowballs, preparing for battle. The team who built the best snow fort usually won, for their wall provided the best protection.

Are we still playing snow fort when we meet new people or spend time with family? Each of us has a wall we started building in our childhood. Each time we were hurt, we would fortify the wall to offer greater protection. We may not even realize it now, but we may have such strong, high walls in front of us that even the most ardent friends can’t get over them.

We may feel protected behind our wall, but we may also feel lonely. Walls are built to keep people out. To feel less lonely, we need to make a little crawl space to let people in. We don’t have to destroy our walls in one day, but perhaps we can let at least one person in. We will learn, one person at a time, what it feels like to be less protected, and less lonely.

I can make an opening in my wall of protection and let someone get to know me. I will be safe.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Overcoming barriers

When situations seem the darkest, the storm may be about to break up and let the sun shine through. A bit more persistence, a bit more effort, and the emotional turmoil that seemed hopeless may resolve into a process of growth. All battles, whether won or lost, are internal.

God never places impossible barriers in front of us; our barriers are only those we create for ourselves.

Am I still erecting barriers against my own progress?

Higher Power, grant me the strength to carry on my internal struggles.

Today I will work on bringing down barriers by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

No one should have to dance backward all their lives.

~ JILL RUCKELSHAUS ~

Newcomer

When I was active in my addiction, I often felt smart and strong. Now that I’m in recovery, I feel little and weak and depressed. I’m afraid I’m never going to feel like a full human being again.

Sponsor

Many of us have similar fears at the beginning of recovery. Back in the early days of being active, we were convinced that we had the key to living. There were behaviors we engaged in that lent us feelings of power and control. We may look back wistfully at those days when we felt stronger, smarter, more important. We wish we could have those feelings again, without paying the penalty.

But we need to remember the deprivation or panic we felt when we had to do without whatever magic “pill” we depended on to put us together each day. We can’t forget the times when addiction only made bad situations worse. We don’t want to repeat the crash we experienced when the drug or addictive behavior stopped being effective and our self-doubts came back.

Strength, intelligence, and competence don’t, in fact, depend on addictive substances and behaviors. They are ours. They are returning to us over time in recovery, and in much more dependable ways.

Today, my gifts are emerging into the light.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

When we were drinking we all had an interest and it was all contained in the shortest word in the English language—I. Our conversations always started with—I need—I want—I said, etc. No wonder people crossed the street when they saw us coming. Our conversations were as obnoxious as our breath.

Take note of the older men on the Program; their conversations are seldom about themselves except ‘as they fit into the other fellow’s problems. It is no accident that they are popular with the group for they never bore you with themselves but instead they talk about your most popular subject—You.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Grateful I’m not dead.

2) You don’t make as many mistakes when you keep your mouth shut.

3) Egoism isn’t necessarily thinking a lot of yourself—just thinking of yourself a lot.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Let Go, Let God

Higher Power, help me to understand:
To “let go” does not mean to stop caring, it means I can’t do it for someone else.
To “let go” is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To “let go” is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To “let go” is not to try to change or blame another, it’s to make the most of myself.
To “let go” is not to care for but to care about.
To “let go” is not to fix but to be supportive.
To “let go” is not to judge but to allow another to be a human being.
To “let go” is not to protect, it’s to permit another to face reality.
To “let go” is not to deny but to accept.
To “let go” is not to nag, scold, or argue but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To “let go” is not to adjust everything to my desires but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

DEMONSTRATING FORGIVENESS

And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise (Luke 6:31).

The forgiveness of others is the vestibule of Heaven. You have to get rid of all resentment and condemnation of others, and, not least, of self-condemnation and remorse. You have to forgive yourself, but you cannot forgive yourself sincerely until you have forgiven others first.

Of course, nothing in all the world is easier than to forgive people who have not hurt us very much. But what the Law of Being requires of us is that we forgive the very things that are so hard to forgive that at first it seems impossible to do it at all. But the Lord’s Prayer makes our own escape from guilt and limitation dependent upon just this very thing.

If your prayers are not being answered, search your consciousness and see if there is not some old circumstance about which you are still resentful. Search and see if you are not really holding a grudge against some individual, or some group. If so, then you will probably make your demonstration. If you cannot forgive at present, you will have to wait for your demonstration until you can, and you will have to postpone finishing your recital of the Lord’s Prayer too.

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Maybe Better Off

Lust brings excitement. Love brings peace.

~ Harvey Freeman ~

When I was 15 years old, I saw a flashy red electric guitar hanging in a music store window. It was shiny, slickly shaped, and looked like the kind of guitar a rock star would play. I ran home and told my father that I absolutely had to have that guitar. “Do you know how to play it?” he asked.

“No, but I swear I’ll learn, ” I promised.

“Maybe you could take some guitar lessons on a basic model, and then if you still want this one, we can get it then,” he reasonably suggested.

“But Dad,” I argued, “then this guitar might not be there. I really want to get this one now”

My father looked me squarely in the eye and asked me the most compelling question he ever confronted me with. In Yiddish he asked, “Voss brendt ba dir?” which meant, “What’s burning in you? ” Needless to say, I didn’t get the guitar. But my father’s question still haunts me to this day: What’s burning in you?

While passion imbued by Spirit can save our life, passion directed by ego can ruin it. The fear-driven mind will tell us that we must have what we want, and we must have it now. The voice of peace, on the other hand, knows that all good things come to us by right of consciousness, and we do not have to fight, sweat, or rush to receive our good.

Looking back now, I realize it was a blessing that I didn’t get that guitar; the thing was all flash and no quality, and sooner or later I would have discovered I had made a bad deal. I was better off without it. My father’s words, however, have blessed me for a lifetime.

Help me to be patient to receive Your gifts. I pray to focus on what will truly bring me peace.

All quality things come to me at the right time by the hand of a gracious God.