My Sponsor, My Self

[bluidkiti]

MY SPONSOR, MY SELF

My sponsor knows me better than anyone, and is a key person in my recovery. Until I was able to get completely honest with another man in A.A., my sobriety was limited and, at best, precarious.

My old sponsor had several good qualities. He was a nice guy. He understood me. He saw my side of every issue. He told me I was right even when I was clearly wrong. He said I could skip, meetings--after all, I had several years of not drinking under my belt. He said I had prayed so often in the past that I could scale back.

What happened? I got drunk. Then, I realized it's not a good idea to sponsor myself.

Since then, I have begun a new journey into the Twelve Steps. But this time, I am relying on my Higher Power to lead me through, along with help of my sponsor.

Received in email

[MajestyJo]

Self-sponsoring isn't a good thing. I needed this today, because I haven't called my sponsor too often. I forget that I am suppose to call her in the good times as well as the bad times. I forget that when I think of her, perhaps she needs a call and it isn't all about me. (written in May on another site)

This is why I picked up the phone and called my sponsor yesterday. When I did, I found that she need to talk too. Her husband`s sister passed away and he had to go to Scotland and she was alone for a week. I informed her that she should have called me, as I am a night person, because they were hard times for her.

[MajestyJo]

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

As you sponsor others, remember this: If you are trying to recreate someone in your own image, then one of you will be redundant.

My job as a sponsor is to model, not mold, recovery for my sponsees.

This is from today`s reading, and really spoke to me. I had some good sponsors and some strong support, that showed me the way, and this is one of the things I was told.

You are not trying to make them into you, you are helping them to find themselves.

Sponsoring isn`t about how you would have them go and be. It is about who their God wants them to be and the way He would have them go. All I can do is share my experience, strength and hope, what they choose to do with it, is none of my business. I offer the gifts and blessing that have been given to me with the hope it will help someone else.

Unconditional love and acceptance of where you are and where they are. We travel this road of recovery together, some have more luggage than others, some haven`t been on it as long as some of us, yet it is one day at a time. Often when you are in the midst of something, you can`t see it or you get overwhelmed by it, so it is then that I reach out to the greatest Sponsor of all, my God.

[MajestyJo]

My sponsor use to say to me, "You are only half a hand shake you know, go stand at the door at put out your hand and say, "Hi, my name is...."

As a result of her advise I did, and it was the start of a lot of service, and I still like to go on the door to greet and welcome others. Some have been out there doing the research for me and come to meetings and tell me it isn't any better out there, others are regulars and it gave me a sense of security, and there was the sense of family and belonging. I don't think I would have what I have today in my recovery if I hadn't gotten involved in service. Sometimes all you need to do is show up, it gives someone a message and if you share, it is amazing how many people will identify.

I found myself reflect in the people around me. I learned what to do and what not to do for my own recovery.

Keep coming, and the smile will come. You get so that you no longer have to go, but you want to go, sometimes just for the fellowship, other times to get help with a problem, or just the spiritual connection of one person sharing with another.

When you have doubt, there is a good chance that you need to call your sponsor. She can set us on track and guide us by sharing her/his experience, strength and hope. If I don't know, then the time isn't right. When the time is right, I will know!

It is good to talk to your sponsor in good times and not so good times, so you won't have a problem picking up the phone, when things are difficult. So many times, I have had newcomers call me after the fact. I have said to a few, too bad you didn't call me before you picked up. One said, "I did think of you, but went out anyway. I didn't want you to know." They don't realize that when I don't hear from them, I know it is bad news. I try to connect, but if I don't hear, I say a prayer.

God Bless, continued God's Goodness on your journey.

I am not the Power and the Source as much as I would like to think I have.

[MajestyJo]

I am a firm believer in my program, his program and our program. Ours isn't running to my partner's sponsor and telling tales on him, but I think that if you see them doing something that is harmful to their sobriety, I think we should bring it to attention of our partner and what he or she does with it, is their business.

If a sponsor approaches me, I won't lie. I would tell the truth as I see it, and I would say "This is what I see." It isn't up to me to sponsor my partner. I have had a couple of relationships were they tend to look to me as sponsor and not share with their own sponsor who seemed to be 'in name only.'

I really need to watch that. I can't live with someone, be sponsor, friend, lover, etc. it is too many hats to wear and I found I end up not doing any of the roles well and have ended up with major resentments, only to find myself at wrong for taking on the role. I am spread to thin, and they become too dependent on me, which isn't healthy for both of us.

Those that judge don't matter and those that matter don't judge.

You do what works.