All We Have Is Now

[MajestyJo]

We can only live now, this moment. We cannot erase the mistakes we made yesterday or bring back the good times we had. We cannot know what tomorrow will require of us, nor can we ensure future security and happiness. Now is what we have, and now is everything.

Food for Thought

No matter what I have done, right or wrong, it can't be undone, it can't be something that I can grasp onto and take with me, it is just a hope and a promise for today.

Just for today, I have to make a decision to turn my day over and ask for help to live in the moment and help to make healthy decision and choices. I can't undo it, I need to let it go. Even what happened at 9 a.m. this morning is old news. My moment is now, the next 24 hours is my day when I turn it over or I can wait until bedtime, midnight, and give thanks and start again.

The piece of cake with chocolate icing that my son told me I shouldn't eat, that I justified by saying, "It is only a small piece," and I can let it go, or have another piece in this moment, and then in turn ask for forgiveness from my Higher Power for two pieces instead of just one.

Love yourself, you are worthwhile, you do deserve recovery.

[MajestyJo]

I have never been to an OA meeting but my ex-sponsor went for many years. Mine is more the thinking behind the eating, although I know what is good, I don't always listen to myself.

The last time I shared my story, I identified myself as an alcoholic who was addicted to alcohol, men, prescription pills, men, food, men, busy/work, men, computers, etc. We can be obsessive, compulsive about anything. I was told that anything I put between me and my Higher Power becomes the 'god' of my life. That gave me a lot of pause for thought.

I didn't recognize it as an addiction. Then I realized that I had substituted food when I felt empty, unloved, and needy. When I get needy, I get greedy, and reach out to anything that will take me out of myself, instead of going within for a spiritual solution.

Like I used my bed to hide in, like I worked overtime and got involved in busy, so I didn't have to be alone with me. I didn't realize I wasn't alone, my God was with me.

[MajestyJo]

Monday, November 12, 2012

You are reading from the book Food for Thought

Don't Anticipate

We wear ourselves out unnecessarily when we spend our energy anticipating the future rather than living in the present. To anticipate bad things is obviously detrimental to our serenity. It is also needless, since most of the things we worry about never happen. Even if some of them do occur, it is easier by far to deal with real disasters than with imagined ones.

Anticipating future satisfactions can also be detrimental to our serenity. If we are living for an event or condition, which is yet to come, we are not completely alive to what is here now. We may build up some future pleasure in our minds to such an unrealistic pitch that the actual event is bound to be disappointing.

Accepting the here and now is what ensures our sanity and our serenity. Reality is never more than we can manage, with the help of our Higher Power. It is our anticipation of the future, which is unreal and dangerous.

May I live today and leave the future to You.

We look at all the holidays coming up, and forget that this is one day at a time program. Thanksgiving isn't here yet even though I started using pumpkins in my posts. One day at a time, and living in today. I got called on projecting into the future by my spiritual adviser, she said that I was being too pessimistic and projecting into the future and getting angry about it before it happens.

I am reminded of something I heard in early recovery, why look into the future when all I have is the past experiences to draw on to make my choices. I am not that person in today. I also have a Higher Power that I can take with me or leave Him/Her at home.

Expecting the worse is negative thinking and we draw that energy to us. So what we expect, is often what we get, because we have attracted it to us. A negative and a negative, makes for negative energy. A positive and a positive, make for positive energy. A positive and a negative, brings one down and more than often, the negative doesn't come up far enough to meet in the middle.

What I put out, I get back!

Going to OA isn't putting AA on a back burner. If OA is your priority right now, Then we need to look at first things first. I spent years in AA, but took time outs for what I needed for my sobriety. I went to NA and Al-Anon. In today, Al-Anon is still my main focus and I go to an AA meeting when I need it.

I never went to OA for my eating disorder. I dealt with a lot of the thinking and issues with my first sponsor. Recently I realized that I was slipping back in my eating thinking, and wasn't making healthy choices.