Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - April

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April 16

Step by Step

Today, start to forgive myself and let go of any guilt I harbor for failing or not getting the chance to make amends to someone who is no longer able to hear them. If someone I injured is not able to receive my amends, may God grant me the comfort in remembering the good I hopefully showed that person before active alcoholism inflicted its damage. And if I can no longer go to that person although I wish I could, let my amend be progress in recovery and not imposing injury or hurt on anyone else. Forgiving has to begin at home, and without forgiving myself, I probably cannot “allow” anyone else to forgive me. Today, I take responsibility for harm I did the person to whom I can no longer make amends, and my sincerest apology may be progress in recovery. There will be no amends if I let my guilt take up the bottle again. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SEIZE THE DAY

Possibilities and miracles are one and the same.

~ Anonymous ~

Many of us have seen happiness as a goal we couldn’t find. When we were children, we were taught that “life is a hard row to hoe.” We carried that over into our adult lives.

Seize the day! We let too many of our days just slide by. None of those hours can be replaced. Why worry over past failures if there is a victory to win? Why keep thinking about our faults when we could be practicing virtues instead?

Seize the day! Hold each moment tight and look at each one with wide-open eyes and mind. They are our lives, special to each of us. The moments pass swiftly into memory. Let those memories be good ones, filled with joys large and small.

Yesterday’s unhappiness can’t be changed, but today’s happiness is my own responsibility.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Anger is a great energizer if you don’t get stuck in it

~ Lavonne Stewart ~

Many of us have to face up to our anger and the negative ways we have handled it. For most men, the real problem is not anger itself, but how we express it. Some of us never express it; others get abusive when we express it. Either way calls for more growth. Often, people confuse anger with abuse. They may say, “I just have to express my feelings, and when I’m angry, I have to let it out.” Other people say, “Anger is so hurtful. I will avoid it at all costs.”

Healing requires that we look to see the sources of our anger, how we have expressed it or failed to, and then learn how to say our feelings honestly and with respect. When we see what we are actually angry about, it gives us energy, it motivates us. It’s a life force. There is no rule that we have to show our anger in destructive ways. We can be flat-out angry at someone we love and still maintain the respect we hold for that person. It is possible to learn to look at a friend and say, “I feel angry about this and I’m here to tell you about it be-cause I care about our friendship.”

Today I will accept my angry feelings as a source of life energy, and I will find honest, respectful ways to show it

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Everything passes, and as I flow with this river of highs and lows, I become calm. I trust my experience and the life force guiding me.

~ Ruthie Albert ~

Everything passes. There is perhaps no greater comfort when we’re caught in the throes of trauma than the knowledge that this too shall pass. We lived many years without this knowledge as we struggled to change the unchangeable. Unfortunately, the only thing that changed was our level of frustration: it got higher. Now we know that we can patiently wait for a situation to pass. Nothing lasts forever.

The good times pass too, of course. We hope to hold on to them, but the same principle applies. The minutes tick by, carrying us to new experiences. What we need to learn will become known to us through both the good times and the struggles. They all will pass, having prepared us for the highs and lows that wait to serve us.

I am at peace with the knowledge that everything passes. My needs will be met today.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am accepting my dual disorder

I know I have an addiction and I know that addiction is an illness, a disease. But it’s hard for me to believe that I have an “emotional,” or “psychiatric,” or “mental” illness. I always pictured such people in a hospital or institution. I thought of them as “crazy.”

These days I am finding out how mistaken I’ve been. Such people are not crazy, they’re not always in a hospital or institutionalized. More likely, they’re with me at work, with me at the store, with me in church. They are like me and I am like them. In fact, I am one of them.

I will write out an affirmation that reads, “I am more like other people than I am different.”

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.

~ Psalms 90:12 ~

Modem technology lets us record the past and predict the future, but the time that is really alive — the time when we’re really alive — is now, right this moment.

Up until now we may have tried to block out, distort, or gloss over what was happening. We may be ashamed of the past or fear the future, while we completely miss the real meaning and action of the moment we’re in.

Recovery gives us the tools to live in the moment by helping us keep it simple, put first things first, and practice “easy does it.” We are more able to see the joy of living this day.

Knowing we are no longer alone, knowing we have the comfort of our Higher Power, each moment gives us the confidence to stay alive in the present in a healthy, sober way — one day at a time.

Today help me realize I don’t have the events of yesterday or tomorrow in my grasp right now. Show me the joy of today.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

What is the use of climbing Mount Everest? If you cannot understand that there is something in man which responds to the challenge of this mountain and goes out to meet it . . . then you won’t see why we go.

~ George Leigh Mallory ~

In experiments with deer mice in captivity, researchers discovered the animals exhibited behaviors that favored decision making. For example, the mice were able to control the lighting in their cages. The mice preferred dim lighting, but if researchers made the cage completely dark, the mice would make the light as bright as possible. If the researchers turned the lights up bright, the mice would make the cage dark. “They cared about choice more than comfort,” wrote the researchers. “When given the opportunity to manage their environment, they battled fiercely for control.”

When you were using, your habit held you captive by its power over your life. But when you resolved to be free from your addiction, you regained control of your life.

Your daily commitment to the program is one of choice. Abstinence provides a foundation from which your freedom emanates and from which you can make choices— both in your recovery, and in your life.

Today I am grateful for the release from the imprisonment of my addiction. I am free from its control, and free to make choices.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

I am more involved in unlearning than learning. I’m having to unlearn all the garbage that people have laid on me.

~ Leo Buscaglia ~

What are some of the messages we got while growing up? That we were awful people, or stupid, or unemployable, or lazy, or unlikeable? These messages may have turned into beliefs as we grew older, and we’ve carried these horrible, negative burdens into adulthood.

Today we may have seen ourselves acting like children again. We may have done or said things to get approval and acceptance. We may have been less than honest with others so they wouldn’t see the real us – and perhaps not like what they saw.

We can start to change some of the things we’ve learned. We don’t have to do anything unless it is what we need to do for our healthy growth. We don’t have to be someone we aren’t. We can be totally honest with ourselves and others even at the risk of possible rejection. We can speak our minds and feel our feelings.

I am in charge of my lesson plan. Who are the ones I choose to teach me?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Working on our goals

Our goal of staying clean and sober is a good one. At the spiritual level it is clear, but at the practical level some of us lack a commitment to it. Some of us even believe that the program won’t work for us.

Such a belief is only an excuse not to realize our goals. We must work hard to hang on to our goals when fear, selfishness, and lack of faith get in our way.

Am I working on my goals?

Higher Power, help my unbelief so that I may understand you on both a practical and a spiritual level.

The goals I will work on today are

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.

~ SOREN KIERKEGAARD ~

Newcomer

When I look at Step Four, the phrase “the exact nature of our wrongs” sounds so grim and old-fashioned. I don’t know if I can face my past that way.

Sponsor

We have a phrase—“the arrogant worm”—to express the way some of us think of ourselves: one moment we’re too important to take the Steps; another moment we’re the worst things that ever walked the face of the earth. Both are distortions. I’m a human being living among other human beings. I’m not a saint, but I’m not a worm, either. Words I’ve said or failed to say, and actions I’ve taken or not taken have had an impact both on other people and on myself. Chances are that the behavior I’d most like to forget is the behavior most important to include in my inventory,

The point of this Step isn’t just to list our faults, nor is it to beat ourselves up for them. Nor is it to complain about the ways we’ve been victimized by people or circumstances. It is to look at where our addictions have taken us.

In recovery, I cherish my innate sense of right and wrong. Today, it leads me to take actions for which I esteem myself.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Man is the only animal that smiles and he is the only one that has need of it. Not that God provided more for the animal kingdom than He did for us, but man, through the stupid misuse of his will power and his other advantages, has brought misfortunes upon himself that would be unendurable but for the healing balm of smiles and a sense of humor.

No man is completely beaten as long as he can smile, and we know from past experience that we can wade out of most our messes on the stepping stones of good humored grins.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) My Gratitude Speaks When I Care and I Share With Others the NA Way.

2) Serenity is not freedom from the storm but peace within the storm.

3) If there is someone weaker than you, be kind to them. If there is someone stronger than you, be kind to yourself.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Amazing Grace

Amazing grace! How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now am fond,
Was blind, but now I see.

‘Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears relieved.
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils, and snares,
I have already come.
‘Tis grace that brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.

When we’ve been here ten thousand years,
Bright shining as the sun,
We’ve no less days to sing God’s praise
Than when we’d first begun.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

TAKE STOCK OF YOUR RELIGION

What has our religion done for you? For years probably, you have been attending church, reading spiritual books, studying the Bible. Now I suggest that you have a spiritual stocktaking. Ask yourself what difference religion has made in your life, in your home, in your affairs. How much peace of mind has it given you? How much courage? How much understanding? How much opportunity for service? For, make no mistake, real religion does give all these things.

If your spiritual stocktaking does not turn out to be satisfactory, I believe that you will find the explanation to lie in the following law: What you put into your religion, that you get out of it.

If you put in 5 percent of yourself, you will receive a 5 percent dividend or demonstration. If you put in 20 percent of yourself, you will receive a 20 percent demonstration. Complete returns call for a 100 percent investment.

Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might . . . (Ecclesiastes 9:10).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

In Their Best Light

Treat your friends as you do your pictures, and place them in their best light.

~ Jennie Jerome Churchill ~

It was probably a grace that Brenda passed away, I thought. My elderly neighbor was a severely addicted alcoholic, and, from what I saw, her life had little meaning. The few times I attempted to converse with Brenda I looked into her eyes, and it appeared that no one was home. She had to be in a better place now, I imagined. Then I talked to Marvin, a man whom Brenda and her husband had taken in as a caretaker. Marvin felt a great sense of loss in Brenda’s death.

“She was so good to me,” Marvin tearfully confided. “Like a mother. I will miss her a lot.” Through Marvin’s words, I gained a profound realization: I saw only one limited aspect of Brenda’s life. Even while I judged her life as empty, she had riches. She loved someone, and someone loved her. Her life, broken as it appeared to me, was a blessing to at least one other person. In spite of the ravages I beheld, God lived through her.

The Bible tells us not to judge—not because we should not judge, but because we cannot judge. When we hold a judgment about someone, we are focusing on one moment from one angle. At another moment or from another angle, we would see an entirely different person or story.

While visiting a children’s zoo, I watched a man become very abusive at the snack bar, ranting and raving at the clerk over a minor mishap. I thought, This guy is one ornery hombre. A few minutes later I saw a man feeding a fawn through a fence. As he tenderly stroked the deer’s nose and gave it love, he reminded me of St. Francis. When he turned his head, I saw that it was the same man who created the scene at the snack bar.

When we release judgment, we find God in every person. Moreover, we free ourselves to be lovable and forgivable. Judgment is illusion, and love is real.

I pray to see Your children as You do, through the eyes of love and appreciation.

I focus on the good and let all else go.