Daily Recovery Readings - April

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April 16

Daily Reflections

ANGER: A "DUBIOUS LUXURY"

If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. The grouch
and the brainstorm were not for us. They may be the dubious
luxury of the normal men, but for alcoholics these things
are poison.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 66

"Dubious luxury." How often have I remembered those words.
It's not just anger that's best left to nonalcoholics; I
built a list including justifiable resentment, self-pity,
judgmentalism, self-righteousness, false pride and false
humility. I'm always surprised to read the actual quote.
So well have the principles of the program been drummed
into me that I keep thinking all of these defects are
listed too. Thank God I can't afford them--or I surely
would indulge in them.

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Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

In A.A. we have insurance. Our faith in God is a kind of
insurance against the terrible things that might happen to
us if we ever drink again. By putting our drink problem in
the hands of God, we've taken out a sort of insurance policy,
which insures us against the ravages of drink, as our homes
are insured against destruction by fire. Am I paying my A.A.
insurance premiums regularly?

Meditation For The Day

I must try to love all humanity. Love comes from thinking of
every man or woman as your brother or sister, because they
are children of God. This way of thinking makes me care enough
about them to really want to help them. I must put this kind
of love into action by serving others. Love means no severe
judging, no resentments, no malicious gossip, and no
destructive criticism. It means patience, understanding,
compassion, and helpfulness.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may realize that God loves me, since He is
the Father of us all. I pray that I in turn may have love
for all of His children.

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As Bill Sees It

"Perfect" Humility, p. 106

For myself, I try to seek out the truest definition of humility that I
can. This will not be the perfect definition, because I shall always be
imperfect.

At this writing, I would choose one like this: "Absolutely humility
would consist of a state of complete freedom from myself, freedom
from all the claims that my defects of character now lay so heavily
upon me. Perfect humility would be a full willingness, in all times and
places, to find and to do the will of God."

When I meditate upon such a vision, I need not be dismayed because I
shall never attain it, nor need I swell with presumption that one of
these days its virtues shall all be mine.

I only need to dwell on the vision itself, letting it grow and ever more
fill my heart. This done, I can compare it with my last-taken personal
inventory. Then I get a sane and healthy idea of where I stand on the
highway to humility. I see that my journey toward God has scarce
begun.

As I thus get down to my right size and stature, my self-concern and
importance become amusing.

Grapevine, June 1961

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Walk in Dry Places

Fix the Need
Taking Inventory
Recovering users have a saying: "Need a fix? Fix the need" It's great advice, if we combine it with our daily inventory.
In good behavior and bad, we're always trying to meet our needs. As compulsive people, we have lots of experience with destructive ways of meeting them. Driven by nameless hungers, we tried desperately to combat boredom, to raise our low self-esteem, to find companionship. What we actually did was place more distance between ourselves and the true satisfying of our needs.
On the new path, one way of fixing needs is to come to terms with them. Maybe we had a need for success that was really a frantic effort to "show others" that we were all right. We should want to succeed, but let's begin by exchanging any false goal for one that's right for us. Maybe we have other needs that are based on defective principles and immature hopes.
What do we rally need? All of us need self-honesty, self-worth, friendship, and purpose.... all available in the AA program as part of sober living. Finding these, we'll gain insight that will enable to sort out and understand other needs,..... and perhaps find those that correspond to our heart's desire and bring real happiness. It's something we can turn over, because God knows our needs before we even ask.
I'll remember today that my needs exist to serve my way of life, and that I must never be a slave to them.

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Keep It Simple

No human creature can give order to love.George Sand
If we are trying to get others to love us, all we’re really doing is trying to be in control. Trying to control others can be a powerful drug. Remember, we can’t control others. We can’t make others love us. Our Higher Power has control, not us.
So, what do we need to do? Turn things over to our Higher Power and just be ourselves. Sure, it can scare us to just be ourselves. The truth is, not everyone will love us. But if we’re honest about who we are, others will respect us. We’ll like ourselves better. And we’ll have a better chance of loving others and being loved.
Prayer for the Day: I pray to have my need for control lifted from me. I pray to be rid of self-will.
Action for the Day: Today, I’ll list five ways my self-will---my need to control---has gotten me in trouble.

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Each Day a New Beginning

In the face of an obstacle which is impossible to overcome, stubbornness is stupid. --Simone de Beauvoir
Sudden obstacles, barriers in the way of our progress, doors that unexpectedly close, may confuse, frustrate, even depress us. The knowledge that we seldom understand just what is best for us, comes slowly. And we generally fight it, even after we've begun to understand. Fortunately, the better path will keep drawing us to it.
We may wonder why a door seems to have closed. Our paths are confounded only when our steps have gone astray. Doors do not close unless a new direction is called for. We must learn to trust that no obstacle is without its purpose, however baffling it may seem.
The program can help us understand the unexpected. We perhaps need to focus on the first three Steps when an obstacle has surfaced. We may need to accept our powerlessness, believe there is a higher power in control, and look to it for guidance. We may also need to remind ourselves that fighting an obstacle, pushing against a closed door, will only heighten our frustration. Acceptance of what is will open our minds and our hearts to the better road to travel at this time.
The obstacles confronting me invite me to grow, to move beyond my present self. They offer me chances to be the woman I always dreamed of being. I will be courageous. I am not alone.

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

Chapter 11 - A Vision For You

Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give freely of what you find and join us. We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny.
May God bless you and keep you—until then.

p. 164

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories

EMPTY ON THE INSIDE - She grew up around A.A. and had all the answers--except when it came to her own life.

I had never expected to live to see thirty. Suddenly I was 29 1/2 and showing no signs of dying anytime soon. I knew in my heart that I would live whether I drank or not, and that no matter how bad it was, it could always get worse. Some people get sober because they're afraid to die. I knew I would live, and that was far more terrifying. I had surrendered.

p. 518

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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Twelve - "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs."

Then perhaps life, as it has a way of doing, suddenly hands us a great big lump that we can't begin to swallow, let alone digest. We fail to get a worked-for promotion. We lose that good job. Maybe there are serious domestic or romantic difficulties, or perhaps that boy we thought God was looking after becomes a military casualty.
What then? Have we alcoholics in A.A. got, or can we get, the resources to meet these calamities which come to so many? These were problems of life which we could never face up to. Can we now, with the help of God as we understand Him, handle them as well and as bravely as our nonalcoholic friends often do? Can we transform these calamities into assets, sources of growth and comfort to ourselves and those about us? Well, we surely have a chance if we switch from "two-stepping" to "twelve-stepping," if we are willing to receive that grace of God which can sustain and strengthen us in any catastrophe.

p. 113

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"One of the tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us
tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose
garden over the horizon, instead of enjoying the roses that are
blooming outside our windows today."
--Dale Carnegie

The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life
to celebrate.
--Oprah Winfrey

Deep, abiding joy is available to anyone who learns the secret of
pursuing every task with energy and dedication, as though it were a
calling.
--Thomas Kinkade

The value of life lies, not in the length of days, but in the use we make
of them: a man may live long, yet live very little.
--Michel de Montaigne

It is not length of life, but depth of life.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

Do not return hurt for hut.
--Jerry C. Whybrew

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Father Leo's Daily Meditation

LAUGHTER

"You grow up the day you have
the first real laugh - at yourself."
--Ethel Barrymore

Today I can laugh at myself. I do not take myself too seriously and I
am beginning to grow. I used to be so serious. Having the "poor me's",
sitting on my pity pot demanding attention; I was so unhappy. And I
was causing my unhappiness.

Then a friend listened to my complaints for half an hour and then
began to laugh, giving out a real belly-laugh and at that point I began
to laugh, too! My attitude was so stupid, selfish and futile that it
demanded a laugh to shake me out of it - at that point I began to grow.

Today I laugh at my funny little ways, my funny little walk, my
ridiculous pretensions, my grandiose behavior. Today with the laughter
comes humility.

O Lord, let me experience the miracle of laughter.

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"Peace be with you.
John 20:21a

"If we walk in the light as he himself is in the light, we have fellowship
with one another."
1 John 1:7

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Daily Inspiration

Don't spend a lot of time second guessing yourself because often times our first choice is the best choice and, if it isn't, we are free to choose again. Lord, guide me through all of my decisions and help me to be flexible enough to change my mind when necessary.

Never let the abundance of gifts from God cause you to forget the Giver. Lord, may I start and end each day with a thank you to You for all of my blessings including those which I take for granted.

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NA Just For Today

"Acting As If"

"Today, we seek solutions, not problems. We try what we have learned on an experimental basis."
Basic Text p. 55

The first time we heard that we should "act as if" many of us exclaimed, "But that's not honest! I thought we were always supposed to be honest about our feelings in Narcotics Anonymous."

Perhaps we can reflect on when we first came into the program. We may not have believed in God, but we prayed anyway. Or maybe we weren't sure the program would work for us, but we kept coming to meetings regardless of what we thought. The same applies as we progress in recovery. We may be terrified of crowds, but if we act confidently and extend our hand, we'll not only feel better about ourselves, we'll find that we are no longer so frightened of large gatherings.

Each action we take in this vein brings us closer to becoming the people we were meant to be. Each positive change we make builds our self-esteem. Through acting differently, we will realize that we are beginning to think differently. We are living ourselves into right thinking by "acting as if."

Just for today: I will take the opportunity to act as if I can accept a situation I used to run from.
pg. 110

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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
. . . there is as much dignity in tilling a field as in writing a poem. --Booker T. Washington
It's not what we do for a job that counts, it's how we do it. It's not what our chores at home might be, it's how we do them. And it's not what grades we get in school, but rather how hard we try. Doing our best, whether it's making a bed, writing a report, or listening to a friend tell about an experience gives us a good feeling about ourselves.
Each of us is special to one another. And we are special to this very moment. Because what is past can't be repeated, let's remember to enjoy every moment as it comes. Let's pay close attention to each person, each activity that we encounter today. It's not what we do today, but how we do it that counts.
Can I do each thing well today, even the small things?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
A woman should be able to be both independent and dependent, active and passive, relaxed and serious, practical and romantic, tender and tough minded, thinking and feeling, dominant and submissive. So, obviously, should a man! --Pierre Mornell
The weakest men, most vulnerable to stresses in life, are those with narrow ideas about masculinity. In our growth, we are finding parts of ourselves we didn't know were there. Some of us are finding the tough part of us that makes it possible to stand up to our bosses or our wives or lovers when necessary. We are also finding the soft parts, warm parts, sad parts. And the greater the variety of sides we develop, the more successful we are in meeting life.
Whatever we discover about ourselves is another example of being human. Sometimes we might think what we feel is not right, or is weak or sick. We need never fear our feelings. The denial of our feelings had devastating effects on us. Knowing and accepting our many sides will lead us into strength and health.
I am thankful that I am able to be both sides of many coins.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
In the face of an obstacle which is impossible to overcome, stubbornness is stupid. --Simone de Beauvoir
Sudden obstacles, barriers in the way of our progress, doors that unexpectedly close, may confuse, frustrate, even depress us. The knowledge that we seldom understand just what is best for us, comes slowly. And we generally fight it, even after we've begun to understand. Fortunately, the better path will keep drawing us to it.
We may wonder why a door seems to have closed. Our paths are confounded only when our steps have gone astray. Doors do not close unless a new direction is called for. We must learn to trust that no obstacle is without its purpose, however baffling it may seem.
The program can help us understand the unexpected. We perhaps need to focus on the first three Steps when an obstacle has surfaced. We may need to accept our powerlessness, believe there is a higher power in control, and look to it for guidance. We may also need to remind ourselves that fighting an obstacle, pushing against a closed door, will only heighten our frustration. Acceptance of what is will open our minds and our hearts to the better road to travel at this time.
The obstacles confronting me invite me to grow, to move beyond my present self. They offer me chances to be the woman I always dreamed of being. I will be courageous. I am not alone.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Letting Things Happen
We do not have to work so hard at gaining our insights. Yes, were learning that painful and disappointing things happen, often for a reason and a higher purpose. Yes, these things often work out for good. But we don't have to spend so much time and energy figuring out the purpose and plan for each detail of our life. That's hypervigilence!
Sometimes, the car doesn't start. Sometimes, the dishwasher breaks. Sometimes, we catch a cold. Sometimes, we run out of hot water. Sometimes, we have a bad day. While it helps to achieve acceptance and gratitude for these irritating annoyances, we don't have to process everything and figure out if its in the scheme of things.
Solve the problem. Get the car repaired. Fix the dishwasher. Nurse yourself through the cold. Wait to take the shower until there's hot water. Nurture yourself through your bad day. Tend to your responsibilities, and don't take everything so personally!
If we need to recognize a particular insight or awareness, we will be guided in that direction. Certainly, we want to watch for patterns. But often, the big insights and the significant processing happen naturally.
We don't have to question every occurrence to see how it fits into the Plan. The Plan - the awareness, the insight, and the potential for personal growth - will reveal itself to us. Perhaps the lesson is to learn to solve our problems without always knowing their significance. Perhaps the lesson is to trust ourselves to live, and experience, life.
Today, I will let things happen without worrying about the significance of each event. I will trust that this will bring about my growth faster than running around with a microscope. I will trust my lessons to reveal themselves in their own time.


Today I picture myself flooded with the glow of a powerful bright light that is guiding me on my positive path of success and happiness. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

You’ll See the Answer

The answer you are looking for may be right before your eyes.

Have you asked the question? Have you put it out to God, the universe, yourself, and the world?

What do I need to do now? What do I need to do next? Where and why am I stuck? What am I not seeing? What’s the answer? I need a clue.

Often, asking the question means the answer is trying to find you. Follow your heart, then open your eyes. You’ll see it.

The answer may be right in front of you.

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More Language Of Letting Go

Say what’s next best

Okay, so you can’t have what you want most in life.

What’s next on your list? If you can’t have what you really want, put that aside. It’s a no. It doesn’t mean you can’t have other things. Don’t let it contaminate the rest of your life. So you can’t have that particular relationship. What do you want, a good healthy love relationship? Put it on your want list. So you can’t live in that house. What did you like about that house? What would you like in the place you want to live?

Dig deeply. Look inside. I bet there’s all kinds of dreams buried in you. Go ahead. Take a risk. Let them come out. Look– you’re already thinking about something you denied yourself a long time ago.

Most of us have things in life we wanted more than anything or anyone else. Many of us have had to learn to let these things or people go. Put all the things you can’t have on a different list. Or maybe add it to your list of questions to God, your “why’s.” “God, why couldn’t I have that when it’s what I wanted most?” Then let it go.

Now make another list. Call it, “if I can’t have what I wanted most, what would I want next best, after that.

God, help me come up with a next best list. Show me what to put on it and help my dreams come true.

Activity: Make a wishes and dreams list. This is a very important list. We talked about doing it at the first of the year. If you made your list then and are satisfied with it, maybe this activity isn’t for you. But if you think you may have held back, or you didn’t make the list at all, the time is right for you to start pursuing your dreams. If you could have anything in life, what would it be? What places would you visit? What peope would you meet? What kind of work would you do? Where would you live? What kind of spiritual growth would you experience? How would you treat others, and yourself? What ideals would guide your actions? What would your ethics be in life? Spice this list up. Don’t hold back.

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Co-Creating with Nature
Conscious Gardening

by Madisyn Taylor

When we decide to give up control of our garden and work in cooperation with the earth, your garden and your life will blossom.


Gardens offer us a perfect opportunity to reconnect to our true selves and remember our place in the natural world. Rather than approach our gardens as mere investments of energy, we can look at the entire process of gardening, from planting seeds to harvesting food, as a way of deepening our conscious relationship with the creative force of the universe. If we are willing to shift our intention from dominating, or at least directing nature, to co-creating with nature instead, we may discover a deep peace and renewed sense of wonder.

To co-create we must first begin with a foundation of mutual respect. As you create your garden in partnership with nature, you can respect the earth, water, insects and animals by using organic seeds, soil and fertilizers. You can also communicate with the plants, insects and elements involved in your garden, and create a regular practice of stillness to listen for any messages they may have for you. When it comes time for harvesting fresh vegetables or picking beautiful blooms, you might even ask permission first. If you ask with an open heart, you will always receive an answer.

Imagine what it would be like to surrender certain aspects of your human world to the precision and surety of the natural environment. You might decide, for example, to forego your calendar and plant in rhythm with the cycles of the moon. Or, you might choose to ignore clock time and water your garden when the sun hits a certain position in the sky. By opening your garden experience to more of nature’s input, you can become available to witness a whole universe of miracles, while engendering a greater sense of honor between the two worlds.

When we recognize ourselves as allies, co-creators, with the earth and the natural world, our relationship to our environment begins to change. We no longer feel the need to control the circumstances around us and can relish in the perfection of all that is. Published with permission from Daily OM

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In God’s Care

God is no enemy to you. He asks no more than that He hear you call Him “Friend.”
~~A Course in Miracles

It is natural for us to take a bit of pride in where we find ourselves today. It is natural for self-centered people like us to think we owe it all to our own efforts. So it’s an imposition to be asked to turn our will over to our Creator. We sometimes feel resentful at the suggestion that God can do a better job of running our life.

We don’t even want to think about the sacrifices we might have to make with God in charge. But God doesn’t ask for sacrifice. God is not our enemy; we are. God only asks, as our friend, to be included in our decisions.

My prayer today: Thanks, Friend, for my continuing recovery. Join me in everything that I do today.

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

I once heard it said that “the mind is the slayer of the real.” Looking back at the insanity of those days when I was actively addicted, I know precisely what that phrase means. One of The Program’s important fringe benefits for me today is an increasing awareness of the world around me, so I can see and enjoy reality. This alone helps diminish the difficulties I so often magnify, creating my own misery in the process. Am I acquiring the sense of reality which is absolutely essential to serenity?

Today I Pray

May I be revived by a sharpened sense of reality, excited to see — for the first time since the blur of my worst moments — the wonders and opportunities in my world. Emerging from the don’t-care haze of addiction, I see objects and faces coming into focus again, colors brightening. May I take delight in this new-found brightness.

Today I Will Remember

To focus on my realities.

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One More Day

Any real progress in the tangled world of emotions must be made by the individual. Each of us must hold the mirror to our own souls and gaze intently at what we see there.
– Benard S. Raskas

“Making do” is an old-fashioned phrase that signifies our ability to manage with whatever we have. We have all thought of that phrase in terms of food, money, or clothes, but rarely in terms of health.

If we have not begun to cope with our limitations, we may find ourselves wallowing in the negativity of self-pity or anger. We may become so entangled in these self defeating thoughts that we lose our ability to grow and to see other real choices. Instead of raging at the unfairness of poor health or limited mobility, we can “make do” with the strength, time, ability, and creativity we sill have.

I will use what I have and not bemoan what I don’t have.

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Food For Thought

Helping Others

Twelfth Step work is essential in OA, since in order to keep the program ourselves we have to give it away. Each of us finds opportunities to share what we have received.

It is discouraging when someone we wish to help turns down the program. It is hard to know what to say or do when a friend who needs OA responds to our efforts with indifference or hostility. Sometimes, those we are trying to help take advantage of our time and patience. Often, we feel inadequate when we encounter a person with seemingly overwhelming and insoluble problems.

As we go about our Twelfth Step work, let's remember that the best way we can help someone else is by maintaining our own abstinence. Let's also remember to turn over our perplexities to our Higher Power. We do the best we can, according to the insight we are given at the time, and we leave the results to God.

Show me what to do for those I would help.

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One Day At A Time

PAIN
“Your pain is the breaking of the shell
that encloses your understanding.”
Kahlil Gibran

How many of us in recovery thought we were in pain before seeking help, only to find that recovery itself was even more painful? I know that is how my progress in Twelve Step recovery from compulsive eating has been. Fortunately, pain in recovery doesn’t break my spirit the way pain did before I started working the Twelve Steps. As I work my recovery, the walls that I had built for protection around my inner-spirit are being slowly broken down and moved away.

This changing and renewing of my inner-self is extremely painful at times. If I didn’t have the tools of the program, (such as sponsorship, a food plan, working the Steps, and conscious contact with my Higher Power) there would be no understanding born out of my pain. Before recovery, the pain would start to fill my inner-shell with self-pity, self-disgust and despair. Now when the pain comes to me, I’ve slowly learned to embrace it and hold it close to my heart. This new pain means that I will be shown by my Higher Power the insight and understanding needed for me to continue this daily recovery process. Does this mean I am filled with joy as I see the pain coming? Absolutely not! This means that I now have a power greater than myself to shield me from the pain that would break me. After feeling the pain needed to give me understanding, I am given healing to continue my journey.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will seek to feel and face the pain on this journey, knowing that understanding and healing will follow through my Higher Power's hand.
~ Ohitika

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AA 'Big Book' - Quote

We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic EVER recovers control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals - usually brief - were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. - Pg. 30 - More About Alcoholism

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

Have you identified yourself clearly as a chemically dependent person suffering from a chronic disease? We have short memories and it is easy to forget why we sought help in the first place. In this disease, only abstinence can pave the way to recovery, so we must never lose sight of our first step.

I admit that I suffer from the disease of addiction and this is my first step toward health--help me remember!

I Say Thanks

Today I will say thank you. If someone does something for me, I will say thank you. If I feel good when I wake up I will say thank you. When I have food that gives me pleasure and nourishment, I will appreciate its flavor. If the world provides me with another day of what I need to keep going, I will say thank you for being alive, for my health, my family and my friends. As I show appreciation a curious thing happens, I get more of what I am saying thank you for. People want to be appreciated; saying thank you allows them to give with pleasure. Life wants to be appreciated; saying thank you allows life to give with pleasure.

I do not take things for granted

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

There will be many times when nothing anyone does, including yourself, seems right. But these 'nothing is ever right' times pass like a cloud over-head. Do not make decisions until the cloud passes, so that you make them in the full light of your good senses.

I do not make decisions when 'nothing is going right.' How can my decision be right if nothing else is?

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

What We Resist - Persists

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

Today I picture myself flooded with the glow of a powerful bright light that is guiding me on my positive path of success and happiness.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

I never heard a better name for booze than Lunatic Soup. - Trip S.