Wisdom For Today - April

[bluidkiti]

April 16

Wisdom for Today
Today we live in a time of much confusion and delusion regarding our basic beliefs about who we are as spiritual beings. In fact, many of us have thrown out our old ideas completely and have not looked for answers outside of ourselves. This narrow view that we are the center of the universe leads people to rely only on themselves. Many addicts and alcoholics experience this same confusion and delusion. "I am the center of the universe, and I can rely on no one except myself," is the mindset by which many addicts live. This narrow view in part leads to a terrible sense of anxiety. "What if I don't do it right? What if I can't make it? What if . . . ?"
Yet the program directs us not to look at ourselves, but to look for a Higher Power outside of ourselves. In fact, the program even names this Higher Power - God, as we understand Him. I know that when I walked into the doors of the program, I walked in filled with a strong sense of anxiety and failure. I was spiritually bankrupt. I needed to find hope somewhere, and this is exactly what I found. I found this hope not by looking in myself, but by looking outside of self. This is the hope that relieved my anxiety. Have I ceased relying only on myself?
Meditations for the Heart
Fence sitting is exactly what many addicts and alcoholics do. We do not want to make any decisions. Doubt keeps us captive on the fence. We just do not know which way to turn. I remember many times using the words, "I don't know." I would say these words to my family, and I would say them at meetings and to my sponsor. These words kept me from taking any action. I just couldn't get off the fence. There were many issues that I sat on the fence about. What recovery has taught me is to say, "Yes!" to the will of my Higher Power. Saying “Yes” leads me down the paths to a better place in my recovery. “Yes” brings me to a place to find strength and power. “Yes” brings me to a place to find courage and willingness. “Yes” brings me to a place where I am filled with His wisdom. Do I still let doubt and fence sitting keep me stuck?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
You have helped me remove the veil of confusion and doubt. My heart has been calmed, and I no longer live in an anxious state. I am grateful that I no longer have to live a life run by self-centered thinking. I am learning that the ways of the program do work, and I am willing to get off the fence and get into action. Lead me this new day.
Amen.