Addicted to Busy

[MajestyJo]

I think many of the "addictions" people have are really obsessive compulsive disorders.

For me, that is what addiction is. Anything that becomes me and who my God would have me be in today.

Many times I have picked up other things to not look at or do what I need to do for my recovery. Several times I have had to turn my thinking about food, service work and my computer to my Higher Power. I was starting to act out in old patterns and behaviors. I resented interruptions, I ignored other things and focused on them, I stuffed my feelings, I was again, looking for something outside of myself to make me feel better. I was shutting down and not allowing myself to deal with my issues at the time.

The same happened when in relationships. My focus was on them and what made them happy. Wanting them to fulfill something that I thought was missing in me. I looked to them for affirmation and validation. I was so wrapped up in them, I let some of the do things that I need to for my recovery slip and be put aside.

It isn't the substance that is the problem. It is me and my thinking.

Between my books, TV shows and computer, I can get caught up on busy. I tell myself, it is okay and I do get out and about and I do go out to bridge. The reality was I played 3 times a week and then I was only playing once every other week.

Because of my pain, I was able to detach from it by going online but now the pain is less, instead of being on the computer less, I seem to be on it more.

I have been making a conscious effort to do more meditation and more quieting of the mind and trying to find some balance in my life.

It is good to be busy and doing. It is not good to be busy and over doing.

Posts I made in 2011

It is not good to be busy to hide from reality and shut off from what needs to be addressed. Service can be a busy that is good, but it often takes us away from our own issues that need to be addressed.

I know that t the beginning, I discounted my stuff because it didn't seem as bad as what other people went through. So I went through 2 abusive marriage, so I had an abusive boss, so I was raped 4 times, it is nothing compared to what others went through. I had to realize that I had to identify, not compare, and what was traumatic too me, had to be dealt with, and not compare it to someone else's life.

I couldn't postpone the steps and work on my own recovery, or I would relapse or die. I found it was very easy to pick up one substance for another and tell myself that I was clean. I realized you could be addicted to exercise, service, religion, work, and oh so much more. Anything that stands in the way of your recovery, anything that prevents you from having an honest one on one with your God. He know, you know, so we are we kidding?

It was an awesome gift to be able to sit and be with myself in the silence, without turning on a light, turning on the music or the TV, picking up the book, to fill up the space. It is not a problem to do. It is a problem if you HAVE TO DO.

As they say, busy as a beaver.



http://www.whats-your-sign.com/anima...sm-beaver.html