Wisdom For Today - March

[bluidkiti]

March 16

Wisdom for Today
There were times early in my recovery process where I simply "white knuckled" it. The fear of relapse was very real. This was a time that I had to draw on faith that my Higher Power would not let me down. There were days when I simply had to take it a few hours at a time. There were still other days when I had to take it one hour, or even a few minutes at a time. I used my Higher Power a lot in these times. But as I look back, it was not just faith that I used to get me through these tough times. I used the fellowship. I used my sponsor. I used the steps. I used the literature from the program. I used whatever worked.
One thing I found that helped me over and over again was talking to the newcomer. The pain of their addiction was so fresh and vivid; it reminded me where I came from. Mind you, I did not talk to these newcomers alone. My sponsor always led me to these people after a meeting and encouraged me to reach out and help them. Guess my sponsor knew what he was doing, because talking with these individuals always bought me back to the pain of my addiction. It reminded me that I did not want to go back and drink or use. Faith was needed to get me through these times, but so were all of the other components of my recovery. I needed lots of support, and I got it at meetings. I got support in reaching out to others. I got support though the wisdom of my sponsor. I got it in many ways. My Higher Power knew I needed more than just faith in these situations. I needed to put it all into action. Do I use all the tools available to me?
Meditations for the Heart
One thing the program has taught me is to seek out God each morning before my day becomes busy with the events of life. I have learned that I need to do this each day so that I may ask for the strength and guidance I need. I cannot afford to wait until life's problems come up and then seek God. I need to do this on an ongoing basis. If I wait until I am "white knuckling" it, I cannot trust myself to seek God first. By starting my day this way everyday, I plan to seek God first in all that I do. I can really tell a difference when I don't do this. My day doesn't start out right, and I am quick to mess it up further. Seeking God first becomes a way of life with enough practice. Then should life throw me a curve ball, I can stand ready, knowing that God is standing there with me. In making a decision to turn my will and life over to the care of God, as I understand Him, do I put Him first in my day?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Let me always remember to start my day with You. Help me to prepare myself for the day and to stand in faith with You in all that I do. Lead me this day along the path that I walk. Help me put into action what I have learned. Help me to keep my past present in my day so that I do not forget who I am and my ongoing need for You.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

March 17

Wisdom for Today
One privilege I earned by coming into the program was the possibility of living two lives. When you stop and think about it, most people do not get such a chance. I had the opportunity to live one life as a drug addict and an alcoholic. I lived through the failures, the deceit, the insanity, the defeat of addiction. My life of addiction is not one that I am proud of, yet it is also not something that I regret. Much of my life as an addict and an alcoholic has gone into making me what I am today.
Then I was given a new chance at life. When I walked through the doors of the program, I was simply hoping that I could stop the insanity so that I would not die. Yet here it was, a chance to start all over again and a chance to live a whole new life. Those of us that have taken advantage of this opportunity have the privilege of being a walking miracle. What could be more wonderful than this – to start all over again and become something new? God has given us this privilege, and He has shown us how to be rid of the loneliness, insanity, hopelessness and despair. Today I can see that the time I have each day is part of the gift of recovery. By all rights I should be dead, but God has blessed me with the privilege of a new start. What will I do with this new start I have been given?
Meditations for the Heart
I try to think often of God as my Higher Power. I think of the love He must have for me as an alcoholic and addict to give me this second chance at life. I also try to think of Him as my protector. He guards me from all evil and rescues me from the bondage of self-will. God is my lifeline to the future. He gives me the time I have this day and each day to come. I can choose to ignore this gift, or I can use it for good. I can choose to ignore this gift, or I can choose to grow along spiritual lines. In growing spiritually, I open myself to God's will for me. He gives me the strength I need to overcome all temptation, and He will give me help to quiet my fears. He is always there for me to ask for help. He grants me courage and gives me wisdom to grow beyond my faults. He gives me purpose, and He directs my path. Can I ignore the miracle that is my life?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Help me to keep You at the forefront of my thoughts. Let me seek You out in all that I do. Let me not waste the opportunity You have given me for a new life. Let me take this privilege seriously. Today help me when I need it, and guide the steps that I take on this journey called recovery. Help me to seek Your vision for my life. In gratitude I pray.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

March 18

Wisdom for Today
At meetings you hear the program described as a "simple program." This statement is true; the concepts and principles of the program are simple. But recovery is not easy; in fact, I believe recovery is the hardest thing anyone of us can do. The fact is that we have met the enemy, and the enemy is in us. Our own self-will constantly works to lead us astray. This does not mean that recovery is not worth it. Each of us is worth the effort it takes to get clean and sober and stay that way.
The adventure of recovery is also exciting. It is this adventure of living a new life that is worthwhile. Recovery is so much better than our old way of living. There is no comparison for the joy, peace of mind and happiness we are seeking to find. Without the program and a Higher Power, we have no chance of finding this happiness. It is only with the program and the grace of God that we can begin this adventure, and it is only through working the steps and the fellowship that we make progress toward our goal. In this adventure, we find that we can have reasonably good lives. Our lives are not trouble free, but we learn how to deal with adversity and struggles within and without because of the program. God knows that we are worth the battle; and He knows that we will have what we need to fight the battle, because He has given us the tools to use through the program. Am I fighting the battle for recovery?
Meditations for the Heart
A strong spiritual foundation is made up of two distinct parts. The first part is lived out in prayer and meditation. It is here that we maintain communion with our Higher Power. It is here that we seek knowledge of His will for us. It is here that we establish gratitude, and it is here that we seek to meet our needs in recovery. Each day I need to spend time in prayer and meditation to keep the foundation of my recovery strong. The other part of a strong spiritual life is found in service to others. Every time I reach out to others and offer a word of encouragement, or share my experience or act in unselfish service, I also strengthen the foundation of my recovery. When I can describe a victory I have had in the battle of recovery and share this with others, I am giving away what I have received. This service and others just like it take me out of my self-centeredness and allow me to show others that the battle over self-will can indeed be won. When I share these victories with others, I become aware that this victory occurred, not because of my will, but because I followed God’s will for me. Do I work to strengthen my foundation?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
You have given me this adventure called recovery, and I am grateful for all the possibilities it brings. It is not always easy; in fact, sometimes it is quite hard. Still, I know it is better than what life would be in active addiction. Today I seek You out to strengthen me for this adventure, and I pray that I may give away what I have learned in this adventure.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

March 19

Wisdom for Today
Each and every day I am faced with a choice – a choice to continue on the path of recovery or a choice to do an about face and return to the insanity. One choice leads to life, and the other choice leads to death. None of us knows for sure, certainly not I, where my next drunken high might lead. But one thing is certain. Making the choice gets easier if I really value my recovery. If I truly value my own life, if I truly value my relationship with a Higher Power, if I truly value honesty and if I truly value what recovery has given me, then making the choice is not so hard.
So the question each addict and alcoholic faces is this: What do I truly value? It is easy to say the words that I value my recovery, but it is entirely something different to look at where I spend my time. My sponsor once told me that all I had to do to determine what I really valued was to look at how I was spending my time. If I truly valued the program, I would spend time at meetings and working the steps. If I truly valued a relationship with my Higher Power, I would spend time with Him in prayer and meditation. If I truly valued honesty and the things that recovery had gifted me with, then this is where I would spend my time. What do I really value today?
Meditations for the Heart
The real work of the program is to grow spiritually. It is too easy to grow complacent and lazy about my spiritual life. It takes real commitment to develop good spiritual habits. Each day I have a routine to build my relationship with God. But a strong spiritual life exists far beyond the morning and evening routine. It is about seeking after good in all that I do. It is about becoming willing to be obedient to His will for me. It is about seeking His treasure for me that exists here in this life. Only when I am diligent about this search in all that I do can I hope to find the hidden treasure. And what is this treasure? Well, the program speaks of the promises of recovery. It talks of things like peace of mind and serenity. It speaks of a new way of living, being no longer baffled by life. Are these things too high a goal? I think not. I have seen these things in my own life, and I have seen these things in the lives of many other recovering people. It takes work, but the goal is worth it. Am I working to grow spiritually?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
You know the inner workings of my soul. You know my true desire and what I really value. Help me this day to seek after what You want in my life. Lead me to a place of willingness, and teach me to become obedient. Let me this day grow along spiritual lines and learn to value the gift of recovery I have been given.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

March 20

Wisdom for Today
Sometimes it is just important to laugh at ourselves. When I look back at all the games I played and all the ways I tried to make bargains with myself, deny my problems, or just lie to myself, it is amazing that I am still here to talk about it. There is a story that dates back to the beginnings of the program that tells of a man who was meeting with the founders of the Twelve Step program. In this story the man is asked if he wants to stop drinking. He responds, “Yes, I need to stop for at least six to eight months.” The men meeting with him in the hospital at the time smile and laugh at his response. They laugh, not at him, but at themselves for they also played this game.

I needed people who would laugh at my insanity – people who would listen to the schemes, games and denial I presented and would laugh at me and with me. They were entitled to laugh because they had done the same crazy things. These individuals taught me to laugh at myself. They taught me to consider new options. They taught me to laugh at my own games. They taught me to laugh at my disease. Addiction to alcohol and drugs is no laughing matter. It is a matter of life and death. But learning to laugh at the insanity of my disease, the games, bargains, denial and dishonesty helped me to understand that my way would not work. Have I learned to laugh at my disease and myself?
Meditations for the Heart
Laughing at my disease and myself also had a spiritual benefit. Laughing at the insanity of my behavior taught me to be humble. Only a man who is not filled with egocentric pride can laugh at himself. Only a man who is not filled with arrogance and self-centeredness can laugh at himself, and humility is something that I lacked early in my recovery. Humility meant that I could admit my brokenness and that I could admit recovery was not possible without outside intervention. I love listening to others tell of their experiences. Invariably I hear them recount stories of crazy, stupid and useless attempts to control their behavior. I laugh sometimes out loud and sometimes on the inside because I realize how senseless my same attempts were. I laugh because of the humility I am given in recognizing my own powerlessness. Sometimes I even imagine that God, as I understand Him, must laugh, too. Does my laughter bring humility in the face of despair?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,

Teach me to laugh at myself. Teach me to laugh at all the desperate ways I used to play games with myself. Teach me to use this laughter to see myself in a new light. Teach me to use this laughter to understand the cunning and baffling ways my disease talks to me. Teach me to laugh at my disease. Teach me humility.

Amen.

[bluidkiti]

March 21

Wisdom for Today
There was a time when I really didn’t want to do many of the things that were suggested to me in recovery. The reasons for this were many. Sometimes it was because I was just lazy and didn’t want to do the work. Other times it was fear that held me motionless. Sometimes depression got it the way, and still other times it was pride or arrogance. I look back now and am surprised at the progress I have made despite all the reasons I didn’t want to do what was necessary for my recovery.

The reality was that something kept pushing me, urging me, guiding me each step of the way. These things did not happen because of what I was doing. There was a Power outside of me that kept me moving in the right direction. Sanity returned to my life even when I was doing things to get in the way. Hope returned to my life. Over time, one day at a time, my life has come back together. I have changed not because of what I do, but because of what is being done for me. Belief that miracles happen only requires that you open yourself to growth along spiritual lines. Miracles surround me at meetings. Miracles exist in my life. Yes, when I look back at all the struggles I had and what has happened in my life, belief is simple. Do I see that all that I have is a gift given to me in recovery?
Meditations for the Heart
Recovery has a way of growing on you. The longer you stay clean and sober, the more likely you are to open yourself to this growth. What I am talking about is how “maybes” begin to appear in your life in recovery. I have had one maybe after another come into my life. Maybe there is a way out. Maybe there is a chance that I can make it. Maybe I need to grow in my understanding of God. Maybe I need to repair the damage done. Maybe I am an okay person. Maybe I can help others. Maybe I can ask for help. Each and every maybe that has come into my life has opened the door to spiritual growth. Sometimes the maybes have come quickly, and at other times the maybes seem to be slow in coming. But the maybes are there and are revealed over and over again. God knows when I am ready for the maybes in my life. He sees to it that each of these maybes happens when I need them. Each of these maybes opens me to new possibilities. Do I stop long enough to recognize the maybes in my life?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,

Where will You lead me today? What new maybes will You reveal to me? How do You want me to grow today? I do not yet know the answers to these questions, but I am open to the maybes that You will present to me in Your time. Increase in me the willingness needed to follow where I am led. Thank You for the growth I have received. Most of all thank You for the miracle of new life You have given me.

Amen.

[bluidkiti]

March 22

Wisdom for Today
Sometimes I think we all get stuck along the path of recovery. I know there have been several times when I reached a point that I just didn’t know what to do or simply wanted to quit working the program. It is not so much that I wanted to go back to drinking or using, it is just that the issue or problem I faced seems to be too big. These stuck points are a normal part of the recovery process. Getting stuck is not how I get myself into trouble, it is what I do or don’t do when I am stuck that can cause real problems. This is when it is most important for me to remember the first word of the First Step – “We.”

Getting stuck means that what I am doing or not doing is not working. It means that I can’t handle it on my own. I need others to help me. I need to ask for help. I need a fresh perspective or a new viewpoint regarding my situation. I need new ideas and redirection. I need others to tell me what to do. I need to gain insight, understanding and wisdom. I need encouragement to get back into action. I need help finding what I have missed. I need to be shown what to do. I need not to avoid, ignore or run away from the issue. I need new hope and guidance. I need to be reminded, and I need to go back to the basics. I need to keep it simple. When I go back to the concept of living as “We” rather than “I,” life seems to get unstuck. I get back on track and find new energy. Do I do what I need to when I get stuck?
Meditations for the Heart
“Thy rod and thy staff comfort me.” These words in the Psalms describe a shepherd caring for his sheep. A few summers ago I had the opportunity to spend some time on a sheep ranch. Sheep are not the brightest creatures on the planet. Sometimes they wander from the flock and can become lost or get into trouble. A shepherd searches them out and leads them back to where they belong. He uses a rod and staff to guide the sheep. A sheep that gets lost or in trouble becomes anxious and scared. The rod and staff comfort the sheep because it realizes it is being cared for and guided to where it belongs. I am not so different. When I get lost in recovery or stuck in some dangerous spots, I also need a rod and staff to comfort me. When I use God as my shepherd, He will use the program and the fellowship to guide me back to safety. He uses the voices of wisdom and the understanding of those that have been there to lead me back. Do I trust my Higher Power as a sheep trusts its shepherd?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,

Sometimes along the path of recovery I get lost or into trouble. I am so grateful that You are there to find me and lead me back. Give me the courage to ask for help when I need it. Lead me with Your rod and staff back to a place of safety. Comfort my fears when they arise in my spirit.

Amen.

[bluidkiti]

March 23

Wisdom for Today
Ever so often in my recovery process I am pleasantly surprised. It’s like something happens that has it all make sense. It’s like a light goes on, and the struggle that I have been facing looks different. For a long time I just wanted to believe these experiences were just a coincidence, but my viewpoint on these events has changed. As I look back on all of these events in my life, I can now see that each of these events in my life was a part of my spiritual awakening.

How did the fear and hopelessness change into confidence and hope? How did loneliness change into friendship? How did confusion change into insight? How did mistrust turn into faith? How did resentment and anger turn into forgiveness? How did insecurity turn into peace of mind? How did isolation turn into relationship? How did manipulation and deceit turn into honesty? How did shame turn into self-acceptance? How did all these things and more happen when I had little to do with making them happen? How did my spirit, which was dead, rise and wake? These events are all a part of my awakening, an awakening that has occurred because of the program, the steps and my Higher Power. Has my spirit been awakened?
Meditations for the Heart
In my addiction to alcohol and drugs I always looked for a way out. I would run to my alcohol and drugs to escape, to hide and to avoid dealing with life. Just because I stopped drinking and using did not mean that I automatically stopped running. I continued to look for a way out. I looked for an easier, softer way. I hid from reality, and I still wanted to escape. I even ran from God because I did not understand how He could help me. Even after I had some time under my belt, I would still turn to this old behavior whenever I faced pain, struggles, fear or loss. My way did not work. Running got me nowhere. I just spun around in circles, remaining miserable. However, when I stopped doing the same old thing expecting different results, my life changed. When I stopped running and started to deal with life on life’s terms and I started to look for God in the middle of my pain, my life changed. When I stopped running, I was able to find light in the middle of my darkness. Have I stopped running?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,

I am so grateful to be in this place. To stand in Your presence and know that You are my God and that You will always care for me. I am so grateful for each and every light switch You have shown me along this journey. I am grateful for the light that I have in my life and to be reawakened.

Amen.

[bluidkiti]

March 24

Wisdom for Today
All of us face failure at different times in the recovery process. For some of us this leads to relapse. For others it leads to getting stuck and being "dry." For others it comes in the form of taking the "easier, softer way," only to find out it doesn't work. Failure comes in many forms. I have experienced the tremendous sense of failure, falling flat on my face on more than one occasion. But recovery has taught me that failure is not a bad thing. It is what we do with failure that determines whether or not it becomes devastating or not. When I have run into failure in my recovery, it is easy to want to just give up. It is easy to want to run away or hide. It takes courage to stand up and learn from failure.
Much can be learned from failure, if we open ourselves up to finding out what went wrong. When I have opened myself up to this learning, the lessons have become some of the most important I have gained in my recovery process. I have learned not to face failure alone. I need to ask for help to sort through what went wrong. If I don't, I am too quick to look for something or someone to blame, including myself. Blame doesn't change the problem. I have to become willing to do the work necessary to find the answers. I must learn the lesson so that I don't repeat the failure. Failure can be a good teacher. Am I willing to open myself to learning even in my failures?
Meditations for the Heart
Each of us needs to find our own way to develop a relationship with a Higher Power. It is a process, not a single event. It is a process of growth. For me one of the biggest struggles was simply learning how to quiet myself to become open to hearing God. I spent time yelling at God, as I understood Him. When I was yelling in my frustration and anger, I could not hear His voice. I spent time in quiet prayer, but my head was still spinning with the events of the day, and I could not hear Him. I spent time in silence hoping He would speak and still could not hear Him. It was difficult to hear my Higher Power with all the noise in my head. Then one day I tried whispering to God, as I understood Him, and waited for Him to whisper back. What I discovered for me is that God was not a booming voice, nor was He silent. God whispers in a still, small voice. It requires a good ear. Sometimes He speaks to me through other people. Sometimes He whispers to my conscience. Other times I hear Him in my heart. It takes practice, but you can learn to listen to God. Am I willing to open myself up to hear His voice?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
You have and will continue to help me face failure in my life. Open me to learning from these failures. Let me walk through this day with my head up. Help me not to give up and hide myself in shame when I face failure. Give me courage to listen for Your voice today.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

March 25

Wisdom for Today
Sometimes even in recovery I still feel like I am riding a roller coaster. It is usually a roller coaster of emotions related to events going on in my life. The difference now is – I can get off the roller coaster. With addiction I had no choice. I simply continued the ride until I crashed and burned. In recovery the emotional roller coaster I get on can spin me around and around if I let it. Or I can use tools that I have learned in recovery to slow down and stop safely. Perhaps the most important tool I have is something called "intelligent faith." What is this tool you might ask? Well, let me explain.
Intelligent faith has two components. The first is the wisdom to know the difference, just as it is said in the Serenity Prayer. I need to sort out all my emotions and decide what it is that I am really feeling. Then I can make intelligent choices about whether or not it is something I can change or not. I can make intelligent and wise choices about how I respond to my emotions. The second component is to trust my Higher Power and have faith that He will walk through the emotions with me. I can turn over the fear, sadness, anger, guilt or any other distressing emotion and ask God to help me. But asking for help is only part of the puzzle. I have to have faith that He indeed will help me. Yes, intelligent faith has stopped the crazy ride in recovery more than once. Do I use intelligent faith when I need to?
Meditations for the Heart
If I am to be a spiritual person, it is proper for me to seek out spiritual things. One thing that I am always looking for is serenity and peace of mind. When my world gets turned on end and life is filled with surprises, I find that intelligent faith is the only way I can again reclaim serenity and peace of mind. When everything is spinning around and around, I know that if I use wisdom and I turn things over to my Higher Power, I am more likely to calm down. I am more likely to breathe a sigh of relief, and I am more likely to let go and let God do for me what I cannot do without Him. When I calm down and can breathe in His peace, I begin to see a broader picture. Life seems fuller. I realize that what is going on in the moment will pass, and God is with me. Manageability returns, and I find decision making to be easier and definitely wiser. When things get really crazy, as they sometimes will, I seek harder to find these spiritual things. Do I know that God will give me both wisdom and faith if I ask for them?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Today is a new day, and I ask You to walk with me as I face the day. Help me to use the tools I am given for the greater good. Help me to seek out both wisdom and faith in You as I walk through this day. Let me not be overwhelmed with emotional responses to life's events. Instead help me to remain calm and serene.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

March 26

Wisdom for Today
As we go through recovery, each of us will be called upon to carry the message. I believe each of us needs to be ready and willing to carry the message of recovery when called upon to do so. I know for myself, I came up with lots of excuses at first. I felt like I wasn't qualified or that I didn't know what to say. But the truth was all I needed. All I had to do was simply tell others about my experience and what I did to find a way out of the insanity of addiction. My experiences in addiction qualified me to carry this message, and my experience in using the steps gave me the truth of my experience.
Each day I try to live for a greater purpose. Each day I look to my Higher Power and ask that He lead me. I have come to realize that God indeed will give me opportunity to carry the message to the alcoholic or addict that still suffers. I have an obligation to repay the program for what it has done for me, to give back what I have received freely. Yes, there are times when it would be easier to just let Twelve Step work slide or let someone else do it, but I also need to recognize that God cannot do His work in and through me unless I make myself available to Him and to others. It is important for each of us to have a greater purpose than just to be selfish. Carrying the message to others in whatever way we can do this serves that greater purpose. Am I willing to answer the call to serve?
Meditations for the Heart
In my addiction I was blinded by the insanity and denial of my addiction. In recovery my eyes become opened. As the layers and layers of self-deception are removed, I can begin to see life in a new way. Yet it is not until I become willing to see with eyes of faith that my life can take on new meaning. In addiction the only meaning I had in my life was to serve my self-centeredness. With eyes of faith I can serve my Higher Power. I can seek after His will for me, and I can see the things that He wants me to do with my life. It is only when I begin to see things with eyes of faith that His miracles can happen in my personality. When I think of the miracles in my life, I know that each of them has happened in my personality. It was faith that bought me to a place where I could surrender my will. It was faith that bought about changes in my character. It was faith that bought me to a place where I became willing to do the repair work in my life and in the lives of those affected by my addiction. It was faith that bought me to a place where I could establish a personal relationship with my Higher Power. Am I looking at life through the eyes of faith?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Today is a new day, and You have given me an opportunity to increase my willingness to serve You and others. Help me to take advantage of this opportunity and to begin to look at life differently. Open my eyes so that I may see through eyes of faith. Grant that I may find new meaning in my life by following Your will for me this day.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

March 27

Wisdom for Today
There was a time for me when life was filled with doubts, but recovery changed much of that. There is something really wonderful about sitting down with old-timers who share how doubt was removed when he or she decided to turn their life over to the care of God, as they understand Him. But there is one thing that will bring doubt back quickly, and that is self-centered fear. This is the fear that says we are not getting what we want or what we deserve. This is the self-centered fear that will lead us into resentment. It is the fear that opens the door to let doubt back into our lives.
I know that when I open this door even a crack, I open the door to dozens and dozens of opportunities for my disease to play with my emotions and mess with my thinking. When I open this door to self-centered fear, I begin to want what I want; and I want it all right now. This type of thinking can get me into more trouble than anything else. When I allow myself to feel dissatisfied and cheated by life, I am quick to want to give up. I am quick to build resentment, and I am quick to get back into stinking thinking. However, when I make a conscious decision to turn my will and life over to God each morning, I leave no room for doubt and open the door only to faith. Do I close the door to self-centered fear each morning?
Meditations for the Heart
Each of us in recovery draws on images to strengthen our resolve to stay clean and sober. One image that has been very helpful for me is to think of the Red Sea . When I begin to feel surrounded by the troubles of life, I imagine myself standing by the Red Sea with the hordes of evil about to pounce upon me and then having the sea parted by God’s power. I gain a sense of renewed strength and renewed hope. I am provided with a new path where I can cross safely to the other side. Yes, I have an active imagination; but the reality is that this is what happens in recovery. When I am surrounded by the noise and confusion of life, if I call on God for help and talk to others in the program, new options for dealing with my problems open up to me. I am given new choices and I am guided safely to another place, a place where life does not seem so difficult. Do I have an image of God’s power and strength to draw on?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
In gratitude I can look out on my day without doubt, because I know You are always near. Should I become surrounded by the noise and confusion of life today, quiet me and let me see Your power working in my life to lead me safely to a new place. Help me to accept the tasks that I have in this day, and increase in me a strength and faith that only You can provide.
Amen.

[bluidkiti]

March 28

Wisdom for Today
When I first got clean and sober, I felt very weak, like I didn’t have the strength needed for the task of not using. But I began to create linkage between others and myself in the program. I developed a reliance on a Power outside of myself because I could not rely on my own power. Soon all the links in this chain felt strong, and I began to feel like I could actually stay clean and sober one day at a time. But there was one thing I forgot: A chain is only as strong as it’s weakest link.

Despite having several strong links in my chain of recovery, I found that when I was at my weakest moments, my program began to break; and I faced failure. This is why it was so important for me to build my faith in a Higher Power. During these times of weakness, I needed to pray, sometimes every five minutes. In these prayers I began to discover what my weak links were. I was able to begin to guard against some of these weak links. I began to see how my emotions could throw me off track. I saw how my unwillingness to call someone and ask for help was a real problem. I learned the wisdom of the program through some very difficult lessons. I think that each of us needs to learn these lessons and how to use intelligent faith to strengthen each and every weak link. Do I know what my weak links are and how to guard against them?
Meditations for the Heart
I have to keep my batteries well charged to keep my spirit alive and well. Each day I find that I need to make conscious contact with the Divine Spirit to get my batteries charged. Through quiet time and through prayer and meditation, I find that I can indeed recharge my batteries. I also get recharged at meetings and by talking with others in the program. As I make these connections, my very spirit is filled; and His Spirit flows into me and recharges me. When I grow weary, it is even more important to stop and rest with my Higher Power. Here I can gain strength and power to continue my journey. Here I can get recharged so that I am ready for whatever comes my way. In these quiet times I can rest until every worry, every fear and every concern is relieved. When my batteries are recharged, I feel a sense of serenity and inner peace. I know His love, and I know joy in that moment. It fills me with whatever I need. Do I keep my batteries well charged?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,

Today let me seek out any weak links in my chain and learn to guard against these weak links. Help me to find Your strength and use it to renew and recharge my batteries. Let me stay plugged into You in all that I do this day. Grant that I may seek after Your will for me today; and give me the courage, power and strength I need to accomplish Your will for me today.

Amen.

[bluidkiti]

March 29

Wisdom For Today
In my addiction to alcohol and drugs, I simply was not comfortable being me. I did everything I could to avoid myself. I deceived myself. I spent time living in tomorrow or yesterday. I focused on other people and found ways to blame them for my problems. I spent time sleeping when I should have been awake, just to avoid myself. It was too painful being me. I didn't like who I had become. I didn't like how I behaved and how I hurt others. Most of all, I would run to the alcohol and drugs just to escape reality and escape myself. I didn't like me, and I didn't like thinking about my life.
Then recovery came along and I was able to barely look at myself in the mirror. There was so much shame. I was disgusted with myself and now I didn't have the drugs and booze to run to. I got into the steps and began to find my way out of the fog. I began to spend time in the fellowship and even began laughing occasionally. Over time my whole outlook changed, and I even began to like this new me. I was able to forgive myself and accept who I was. I got comfortable living in my own skin. For this I am grateful. Am I getting comfortable living in my own skin?
Meditations for the Heart
Sometimes, I wonder what God sees when He looks at me. Is He happy with me today? Is He happy with the choices I am making in my life? I know that often times I don't measure up. I am not perfect; but I have to believe that God likes what he sees, since I have cleaned up my act. I guess I want to do things that are pleasing to God now. Before all I ever wanted to do was please myself. I was so wrapped up in my self-centeredness I could not see God. I am glad He continued to watch over me in my insanity. When I think about how God sees me through his eyes, I know He sees a much bigger picture of me than I will ever see. This makes it much easier to trust that He is leading me to where He wants me to be. God's vision is clear, and He sees me in a whole different light that I do. Am I open to God's vision for me?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,
Each day I stay clean and sober is a gift from You. Thank you for this gift and thank you for helping me to become comfortable in my own skin. Help me this day to follow after your vision for me. Teach me to live the program. Grant me this day new light and a new vision of myself.
Amen

[bluidkiti]

March 30

Wisdom for Today
One of my biggest personal weaknesses was deep inside; I struggled with all the unstable emotions I carried. Alcohol and drugs helped to keep me anesthetized so I simply did not have to feel. As my disease progressed, I had increasing mental conflicts; and my emotions became more and more unstable. I began looking for ways to escape by drowning my troubles in alcohol and drugs. I looked for anything to help me push away the reality of my life. I would experience short-term gain only to suffer long-term pain.

Eventually, I became so numb and so out of touch with reality that I had no idea what I was truly feeling anymore. I was just a balled up mess of confusion, rage, shame, fear, and sadness. I guess this is why the steps are numbered. I needed to learn how to stay clean and sober before I even begin to untangle the weakness deep inside. I needed to begin to unpeel the layers and layers of emotional mess to find an inner calm. I did not do this alone; I needed the fellowship and my sponsor to help me sort through the mess. Eventually I was able to deal with my emotions as they came up and learned healthy ways to cope with all my feelings without alcohol and drugs. Nothing about this was easy, but the inner calm I now have has been worth it. Am I ready to untangle the unstable emotional wreckage of my life?
Meditations for the Heart
Probably the biggest struggle I had was not letting my resentments get the best of me. Often times they would get in the way and prevent me from doing the next right thing. I would get resentful, and my behavior would soon be misdirected and off track. I would find excuses for my actions and even look to blame others. But this simply kept me sick. I needed to find a way to let go of these resentments. I searched my heart for ways to accept the other person. I was told to pray for them. When I could accept that the people I was so angry and resentful toward were human and that their behavior had been their way of trying to deal with my insanity, I began to find room in my heart for forgiveness. I found that I could do this to help me in my life. It was not so much to make them feel better, but it was so that I could feel better by letting go. Even the ones that I could not find a way to accept or forgive, I found a way to let go and let God do for me what I could not do for myself. Do I still harbor resentments against others?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,

Another new day, God, and I am clean and sober. I grow each day You grant me reprieve from my addiction. Sometimes I am purposeful in my growth, and other times I am surprised by how You help me grow. Help me this day to seek and find an inner peace. Help me to deal with life on life’s terms and not be controlled by unstable emotions. Take from me the roadblocks that I have that get in the way of doing the next right thing.

Amen