Sharing

[MajestyJo]

Thursday, February 20, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Say what you like: say I'm ill,
Say I broke my leg on the stairs,
Say we've had a fire
—T. S. Eliot

Think of the trouble of excuses and lies. They force us to make ourselves sick, live with a whole broken leg, start some sort of slow burn. When we tell someone we're not at home, we have to hide in that place. When we invent a long line of lies, we have to memorize each one. It's easiest just to come clean, use plain and simple words, and speak true. When accusers spear us with their stares, we can disarm them by looking them right in the eye.

Not only do lies deceive others, they keep us hidden from ourselves, and make our real reasons for the choices we've made seem unworthy, if we feel we can't express them. Better that we be truthful, even if a little pain results. Truth keeps communication lines open. Then, when someone really wants to know what's on our minds, we can simply open our hearts.

Is anything too terrible to tell to a friend?

This reminds me of a day when I had 3 years sober, and don't even remember the issue at hand, but called my sponsor, and a few close friends and all I got was answering machines. I felt like I just had to talk to someone, and it was in between meetings, so I made the decision to pick up my phone book. I started at the back and worked my way through and finally got someone in the "R"s and it was a guy named Ross. I said, "I hope you have time, I need to talk and you are it. This same guy told me once, after I called myself stupid, "Jo you may be a lot of things, but stupid is not one of them. This guy started a group across the street from where I lived at the time, and if it was still in operation today, it would be next door, it was in the mall next door to me, in the same building as my pharmacy. I wouldn't have to go outside to go to the meeting.

I know that I need to share and not keep things to myself. Because of my pain, I don't get out to meetings very often, and I can't sit and talk for any length of time, so I am glad that my fingers can do my talking here on the site.