Daily Recovery Readings - October

[bluidkiti]

October 1

Daily Reflections

LEST WE BECOME COMPLACENT

It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest
on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol
is a subtle foe.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 85

When I am in pain it is easy to stay close to the friends I have
found in the program. Relief from that pain is provided in the
solutions contained in A.A.'s Twelve Steps. But when I am feeling
good and things are going well, I can become complacent. To put
it simply, I become lazy and turn into the problem instead of the
solution. I need to get into action, to take stock: where am I and
where am I going? A daily inventory will tell me what I must
change to regain spiritual balance. Admitting what I find within
myself, to God and to another human being, keeps me honest and humble.

************************************************** *********

Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

A.A. will lose some of its effectiveness if I do not do my share.
Where am I failing? Are there some things I do not feel like doing?
Am I held back by self-consciousness or fear? Self-consciousness is
a form of pride. It is a fear that something may happen to you.
What happens to you is not very important. The impression you
make on others does not depend so much on the kind of job you
do as on your sincerity and honesty of purpose. Am I holding back
because I am afraid of not making a good impression?

Meditation For The Day

Look to God for the true power that will make you effective. See
no other wholly dependable supply of strength. That is the secret
of a truly effective life. And you, in your turn, will be used to help
many others find effectiveness. Whatever spiritual help you need,
whatever spiritual help you desire for others, look to God. Seek
that God's will be done in your life and seek that your will conforms
to His. Failures come from depending too much on your own strength.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may feel that nothing good is too much for me if I look
to God for help. I pray that I may be effective through His guidance.

************************************************** *********

As Bill Sees It

Troubles of Our Own Making, p.272

Selfishness--self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our
troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion,
self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and
they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without
provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we
have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a
position to be hurt.

So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They
arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of
self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so. Above
everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must,
or it kills us!

Alcoholics Anonymous, p.62

************************************************** *********

Walk In Dry Places

Thinking about Blame.
Inventory.
Which is worse: blaming ourselves or others for things that go wrong?
A better question might be, Is anyone to blame?
We're really better off, in 12 Step living, to begin dropping the idea of
placing blame for our thinking altogether. Even is someone's responsibility
for a mistake or wrong is fully evident, we get nowhere by pointing the
finger at him or her. What often happens, in fact, is that the person
becomes defensive... just as we do... And retreats into denial or anger.
Another problem is that placing blame quickly becomes the sticky
business of taking another person's inventory. Let's leave such matters
to courts and prosecutions and focus instead on solving our own problems.
I'll not waste time today thinking about who's to blame. My focus will
be on what can be done for general improvement.

************************************************** *********

Keep It Simple

Continued to take personal inventory. . .First half of Step Ten
Step Ten tells us to keep looking at who we are. We ask ourselves,
“Is what I’m doing okay?”
If it is, then we take pride in the way we're acting. If not, we change our
behavior. Step Ten keeps us in the right direction.
Throughout time, wise persons have told us to get to know ourselves.
Step Ten helps us do this.
We become our own best friend. A true friend tells us when we’re doing
right and when we’re messing up. Step Ten is our teacher. Even when
we want to pretend we don’t know right from wrong, Step Ten reminds
us that we do know. Step Ten is our daily reminder that we now have
values---good values.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, Step Ten is a lot of work. Keep me
working. Help me form a habit. Let this habit be called “Step Ten.”
Action for the Day: Today, I’ll continue to take a personal inventory.
I will list what is good about me today and what I don’t like.

************************************************** *********

Each Day a New Beginning

Women are often caught between conforming to existing standards
or role definitions and exploring the promise of new alternatives.
--Stanlee Phelps and Nancy Austin
This is a time of exploring for many of us. Recovery means change
in habits, change in behavior, change in attitudes. And change is
seldom easy. But change we must, if we want to recover successfully.
We do have support for trying our new alternatives. We have support
from our groups and our higher power. Perhaps we want a career or
more education. Perhaps we want to develop a hobby or try a sport.
Sharing that desire and then looking for support guarantees some
guidance. This program has given us a chance to start fresh--
to become our inner desire.
We are only caught in an old pattern if we assent to it. The going
won't always be easy, but support and guidance are available and
free if we but look for them.
Today I will consider my alternatives. Do I want to make a change?

************************************************** *********

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

THERE IS A SOLUTION

This is by no means a comprehensive picture of the true alcoholic, as our behavior patterns vary. But this description should identify him roughly.
Why does he behave like this? If hundreds of experiences have shown him that one drink means another debacle with all its attendant suffering and humiliation, why is it he takes that one drink? Why can’t he stay on the water wagon? What has become of the common sense and will power that he still sometimes displays with respect to other matters?
Perhaps there never will be a full answer to these questions. Opinions vary considerably as to why the alcoholic reacts differently from normal people. We are not sure why, once a certain point is reached, little can be done for him. We cannot answer the riddle.

p. 22

************************************************** *********

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition - Stories

Doctor Bob's Nightmare

A co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous. The birth of our Society dates from his first day of permanent sobriety, June 10, 1935.
To 1950, the year of his death, he carried the A.A. message to more than 5,000 alcoholics men and women, and to all these he gave his medical services without thought of charge.
In this prodigy of service, he was well assisted by Sister Ignatia at St. Thomas Hospital in Akron, Ohio, one of the greatest friends our Fellowship will ever know.

If my wife were planning to go out in the afternoon, I would get a large supply of liquor and smuggle it home and hide it in the coal bin, the clothes chute, over door jambs, over beams in the cellar and in cracks in the cellar tile. I also made use of old trunks and chests, the old can container, and even the ash container. The water tank on the toilet I never used, because that looked too easy. I found out later that my wife inspected it frequently. I used to put eight or twelve ounce bottles of alcohol in a fur lined glove and toss it onto the back airing porch when winter days got dark enough. My bootlegger had hidden alcohol at the back steps where I could get it at my convenience. Sometimes I would bring it in my pockets, but they were inspected, and that became too risky. I used also to put it up in four ounce bottles and stick several in my stocking tops. This worked nicely until my wife and I went to see Wallace Beery in "Tugboat Annie," after which the pant-leg and stocking racket were out!
I will not take space to relate all my hospital or sanitarium experiences.

pp. 176-177

************************************************** *********

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Four - "Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves."

But in A.A. we slowly learned that something had to be done about our vengeful resentments, self-pity, and unwarranted pride. We had to see that every time we played the big shot, we turned people against us. We had to see that when we harbored grudges and planned revenge for such defeats, we were really beating ourselves with the club of anger we had intended to use on others. We learned that if we were seriously disturbed, our first need was to quiet that disturbance, regardless of who or what we thought caused it.

p. 47

************************************************** *********

"How things look on the outside of us depends on how things are
on the inside of us."
--Parks Cousins

I shall continue to believe. In hope there is faith, miracles do happen,
in God I trust.
--Shelley

Time is my most precious resource, I choose to use it wisely and
to cherish each moment, sober.
--Bob

I have a choice, I do not have to accept unacceptable behavior.
--Shelley

Whatever you do, you need courage. Whatever course you decide
upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There
are always difficulties arising that tempt you to believe your critics are
right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires some
of the same courage that a soldier needs. Peace has its victories, but it
takes brave men and women to win them.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

Some people make the future; most wait for the future to make them.
--Cited in The Best of BITS & PIECES

There is a choice you have to make, In everything you do. And you
must always keep in mind, The choice you make, makes you.
--Unknown

You can preach a better sermon with your life than you can with your lips.
--Unknown

***********************************************

Father Leo's Daily Meditation

LAUGHTER

"We are all here for a spell, get
all the good laughs you can."
-- Will Rogers

When I first heard recovering alcoholics laughing, I thought I was
in the wrong place. I was angry that they treated the disease so lightly.
Then slowly I began to see that laughter is part of joy --- a deep joy that
comes from personal healing. Laughter is spiritual because it is a
positive response to life. It is the noise of optimism.

And there is so much in life to laugh about --- not only the funny things
we did, but also the "humor" that abounds in living. How funny is our
self-righteousness! How amusing we are in courtship. How ridiculous we
appear when we pretend to be serious and "in charge".

Laughter is the conversation of angels.

Let me see the miracle of humor in the gift of life --- and let me be
prepared to share it.

************************************************** *********

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition,
with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Philippians 4:6

"Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs."
Proverbs 10:12

Even so faith, if it has no works, is dead, being by itself.
James 2:17

************************************************** *********

Daily Inspiration

Don't give up because your best has not yet been achieved. Lord,
take away my doubts and give me courage to accept my opportunities.

Often times that which we find difficult is that which teaches. Lord,
may I always be able to see the good that comes from even my trials.

************************************************** *********

NA Just For Today

Not just a motivation for growth
Page 287

"We learn that pain can be a motivating factor in recovery."

Basic Text, p.30

"Pain-who needs it!" we think whenever we're in it. We see no good purpose for pain. It seems to be a pointless exercise in suffering. If someone happens to mention spiritual growth to us while we're in pain, we most likely snort in disgust and walk away, thinking we've never encountered a more insensitive person.

But what if human beings didn't feel pain-either physical or emotional? Sound like an ideal world? Not really. If we weren't capable of feeling physical pain, we wouldn't know when to blink foreign particles out of our eyes; we wouldn't know when to stop exercising; we wouldn't even know when to roll over in our sleep. We would simply abuse ourselves for lack of a natural warning system.

The same holds true for emotional pain. How would we have known that our lives had become unmanageable if we hadn't been in pain? Just like physical pain, emotional pain lets us know when to stop doing something that hurts. But pain is not only a motivating factor. Emotional pain provides a basis for comparison when we are joyful. We couldn't appreciate joy without knowing pain.

Just for Today: I will accept pain as a necessary part of life. I know that to whatever level I can feel pain, I can also feel joy.

************************************************** *********

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Perhaps nature is our best assurance of immortality. --Eleanor Roosevelt
Everything in nature contributes to something else--like the hundred-year-old tree that stood tall until a wind storm. The protection it gave to thousands of birds and squirrels it now gives to insects and fungi. As it slowly decays, it nourishes the ground, and from the enriched soil grow several other trees. We human beings are part of this eternal cycle, our ideas and actions enriching those around us and influencing generations yet to come. Being part of this vast plan gives us comfort, and faith that everything that happens is meant to be. Our hearts fill with joy with the knowledge that we are needed; just as every tree is needed.
How do I fit into nature's plan today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
It was football time, apple time, harvest time, hunting time, and school time. Footsteps quickened. It was exciting to be in transition. It seemed more like the beginning of something than like the end of it. --Paul Gruchow
Some days seem filled with the exciting energy of change. They are like walking on a bridge from one time period to the next. In the fall, our senses are filled with messages of change. Trees tell us it is happening. So do football games, and the cool chill in the morning air.
As summer wanes and winter approaches, we may need to grieve for what we leave behind before greeting what comes next. The changes we experience in recovery bring similar responses. We grieve the loss of our old friends, the bottle, the food binge, the romantic thrill, or the excitement of gambling or spending. We are able to grieve our losses because we accept them. We have chosen them. Now we move to the next season of our lives.
As I experience the circle of seasons outside me, I am grateful for the ongoing flow of change within.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Women are often caught between conforming to existing standards or role definitions and exploring the promise of new alternatives. --Stanlee Phelps and Nancy Austin
This is a time of exploring for many of us. Recovery means change in habits, change in behavior, change in attitudes. And change is seldom easy. But change we must, if we want to recover successfully.
We do have support for trying our new alternatives. We have support from our groups and our higher power. Perhaps we want a career or more education. Perhaps we want to develop a hobby or try a sport. Sharing that desire and then looking for support guarantees some guidance. This program has given us a chance to start fresh--to become our inner desire.
We are only caught in an old pattern if we assent to it. The going won't always be easy, but support and guidance are available and free if we but look for them.
Today I will consider my alternatives. Do I want to make a change?


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Be Who You Are
In recovery, we're learning a new behavior. It's called Be Who You Are.
For some of us, this can be frightening. What would happen if we felt what we felt, said what we wanted, became firm about our beliefs, and valued what we needed? What would happen if we let go of our camouflage of adaptation? What would happen if we owned our power to be ourselves?
Would people still like us? Would they go away? Would they become angry?
There comes a time when we become willing and ready to take that risk. To continue growing, and living with ourselves, we realize we must liberate ourselves. It becomes time to stop allowing ourselves to be so controlled by others and their expectations and be true to ourselves - regardless of the reaction of others.
Before long, we begin to understand. Some people may go away, but the relationship would have ended anyway. Some people stay and love and respect us more for taking the risk of being whom we are. We begin to achieve intimacy, and relationships that work.
We discover that who we are has always been good enough. It is who we were intended to be.
Today, I will own my power to be myself.


I am grateful for the power I have over the future of my life. I am being guided at all times to use my power with wisdom and with love. --Ruth Fishel

************************************

Journey To The Heart
October 1
Are You Ready, Willing, and Able?

Have you cleared the path you want to travel? Are you ready, willing, and able to do whatever it takes to have what you want?

Decide what you want. Be as clear as you can be. Say it. Write it. Share your idea with a friend. Then ask yourself if you are ready, willing, and able to do what it takes to have what you want. Ask yourself the question as often as you need to.

Watch how you feel when you say what you want. Look for objections, blocks from within, obstacles on your path. Look closely at yourself, your fears, your angers, your resistance. Let your feelings come up, acknowledge them, then let them go. One after another remove the blocks until the path you want to travel is clear. Remove the obstacles until you can clearly see your vision and your voice is strong and clear. I’m ready, willing, and able to have what I want and it’s in my highest good.

The way to your dreams, the way to make your visions come alive is by taking a journey inside your soul. Are you ready, willing, and able to have what you want? Do you believe it when you hear yourself say it? When you do, the road will be clear, and you’ll be ready to travel the path you desire.

*****

more language of letting go for October
Say I see

I was out at the drop zone one day soon after I'd begun skydiving, when the idea occurred to me. I know, I thought, I'll get a cabin out here, on a little hill with a hot tub, fireplace, and lined inside with scented cedar wood.

Wouldn't it be nice, I thought, to live high on a hill and look down at night at the twinkling lights, overlooking the city and the lake?

I didn't think much more about it, until the cold, rainy season started. Then, despite all my efforts to repress the dream of the cabin, it just popped up and sprang right out from inside of me.

I called my friend Kyle and asked him if he was busy. He said no. So I asked him if he had some time to go driving around with me.

"I just want to check out the area," I said. "Let's see if the cabin's there. Let's just drive to where my intuition takes me."

We drove down highway fifteen when an exit approached. Taking the exit felt like the thing to do. We turned off and started driving west. I looked to my right and suddenly felt an urge to drive up the hill. So we followed the road, driving by one house after another. Finally, at the end of the road, there was a small cabin at the top of a hill. The outside was covered with rough-sawn cedar. A brick fireplace covered the front of the house. A hot tub sat in the backyard. And a for sale sign was posted in the frontyard.

There are other pieces to this story. Chip got in on the dream. At some point we stopped calling it "the cabin," and it became the Blue Sky Lodge. Pat and Andy came along and helped make the dream real. It was going to be a comfortable place for people who liked to do things in the air. We'd have extra beds available. It wouldn't be a hotel, but it was open to any guest who wanted to spread his or her wings and learn how to fly.

We camped at the Lodge during construction, Everything took longer than we thought, but eventually it turned into the place of our dreams.

There's a pool table, a dartboard, a whimsical guest room called the clown room, a comfy guest bedroom, a living room with a massive stone fireplace and a big-screen TV. Then there's the Blue Room, a master bedroom with blue plaid material on the walls. It houses the biggest, most comfortable bed in the world-- the Cloud Bed-- and my desk.

Red beams line the cedar wood ceiling. Chip has a desk in the foyer, and there's video cameras and regular cameras and computers on top of it. And there's books and CDs and flight bags and parachutes and helmets and climbing ropes lying around all over the house.

The Blue Sky Lodge is really about learning that your dreams can come true.

Whether your dreams for yourself come to you in bits and pieces, over a period of time, or whether you practice visualization to see and focus on your dreams yourself, dreams are just another way of God communicating with us

She's saying, "Look at what you can have."

An important part of the language of letting go is learning to say, "I see what I can have, who I am, where I am, and what I have right now."

God, help me become aware.

*****

Observing Evolution
Allowing Others to Walk Their Paths by Madisyn Taylor

It is important to allow others to walk their own path because it is just that, their own path.

Watching a loved one or a peer traverse a path littered with stumbling blocks can be immensely painful. We instinctively want to guide them toward a safer track and share with them the wisdom we have acquired through experience. Yet all human beings have the right to carve their own paths without being unduly influenced by outside interference. To deny them that right is to deny them enlightenment, as true insight cannot be conveyed in lectures. Rather, each individual must earn independence and illumination by making decisions and reflecting upon the consequences of each choice. In allowing others to walk their paths freely, you honor their right to express their humanity in whatever way they see fit. Though you may not agree with or identify with their choices, understand that each person must learn in their own way and at their own pace.

The events and circumstances that shape our lives are unique because each of us is unique. What touches one person deeply may do nothing more than irritate or confound another. Therefore, each of us is drawn to different paths—the paths that will have the most profound effects on our personal evolution. If you feel compelled to intervene when watching another human being make their way slowly and painfully down a difficult path, try to empathize with their need to grow autonomous and make their own way in the world. Should this person ask for your aid, give it freely. You can even tell them about your path or offer advice in a conscious loving way. Otherwise, give them the space they need to make their own mistakes, to enjoy the fruits of their labors, to revel in their triumphs, and to discover their own truths.

The temptation to direct the paths of others is a creature of many origins. Overactive egos can convince us that ours is the one true path or awaken a craving for control within us. But each person is entitled to seek out their path leading from the darkness into the light. When we celebrate those paths and encourage the people navigating them, we not only enjoy the privilege of watching others grow—we also reinforce our dedication to diversity, independence, and individuality. Published with permission from Daily OM

************************************

A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

We can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely. We can be all by ourselves and still feel happy and content. What makes the difference? We feel lonely if we look to other people for something they really can’t provide. None else can give us peace of mind, an inner sense of acceptance, and serenity. And when we find ourselves alone, we needn’t feel lonely. God is with us; His presence is like a warm shawl enfolding us. The more we’re aware of ourselves as beloved by God, the more we’re able to feel content and secure — whether we’re with others or when alone. Am I experiencing a sense of God and His love at all times and in all places?

Today I Pray

May I understand that we each have our own kind of loneliness — whether we are young and friendless, old and kept waiting by death, bereft, left, running away, or just feeling out of it in a crowd. May my loneliness be eased a bit by the fact that loneliness is, indeed, a universal feeling that everyone knows first hand — even though some lives seem more empty than others. May I — and all the lonely people — take comfort in the companionship of God.

Today I Will Remember

Shared loneliness is less lonely.

************************************

One More Day

Solitude is not measured by the miles of space that intervene between a man and his fellows.
– Henry David Thoreau

Solitude is the time we choose to be alone, but it becomes loneliness when we believe we have no choice. When we are lonely, we feel trapped in a web of isolation.

Lonely people are caught in a trap with only themselves for company. There can be a difference between loneliness and aloneness — or solitude.

We are finding ways to create solitude from loneliness. We strive to fill our lives with meaningful experiences such as work, family, hobbies, and relationships with friends. As we enrich our lives with these activities, our alone time becomes solitude — a peaceful time to withdraw from the world and into thoughts, prayers, and meditation.

A moment of solitude today can enrich and replenish me.

************************************

Food For Thought

Being True

Without rigorous honesty, we do not recover from compulsive overeating. We need to be honest about what we eat and honest about how we feel. In the past, we covered up pain with sugar frosting and tried to drown our inadequacies in carbohydrates. The time has come to deal with truth.

Alone, we are not perceptive enough to see the truth, nor strong enough to bear it. It is through our Higher Power and the OA fellowship that we are able to become true to the best that is in us. We admit that we have been living falsely, and we turn over our muddled lives so that God may straighten them out. His spirit is truth, and the light of that truth is what we need for our recovery.

Our Higher Power shows us how to be true step by step, as we are ready to progress. Each day we become more in touch with our real selves and each day our strength increases. Being true sets us free from compulsive overeating and free from the false values, hopes, and expectations, which have inhibited us.

Lead me into truth.

*****************************************

One Day At A Time

The Fear of Failure

“It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare;
it is because we do not dare that things are difficult.”
Seneca

I was full of excuses: “I can’t start a food plan. Won't it be the same as a diet? I’m a free spirit! I don't like such restrictions! If I can’t do something perfectly, why should I even start? I do it perfectly, or I don’t do it at all! I have gone too far to ever go back to being anywhere near healthy. I don’t have time to plan my Food. I am young. I have plenty of time to worry about taking off the weight!”

These were my favorite excuses. Underlying all the excuses was the fear of failure. I did not know that true failure comes about by not ever having tried. My life circumstances never got better by ignoring my problems with food. Ignoring my condition began to complicate every aspect of my life.

This moment I have a choice. I dare to choose in the next few moments even one small thing that I can do to make my life better or more healthful.

One day at a time...
If I cannot think of anything, I will pause and ask my Higher Power to help me learn to choose.
~ January K.

*****************************************

AA 'Big Book' - Quote

The distinguished American psychologist, William James, in his book 'Varieties of Religious Experience,' indicates a multitude of ways in which men have discovered God. We have no desire to convince anyone that there is only one way by which faith can be acquired. If what we have learned and felt and seen means anything at all, it means that all of us, whatever our race, creed, or color are the children of a living Creator with whom we may form a relationship upon simple and understandable terms as soon as we are willing and honest enough to try. Those having religious affiliations will find here nothing disturbing to their beliefs or ceremonies. There is no friction among us over such matters. - Pg. 28 - There Is A Solution

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

Sometimes we are confused about what to do. But we tell people, 'Do the next right thing.' We do know what is right and what is wrong from the age of seven. Often our mind tries to muddy our thinking by making excuses or rationalizing. You really do know the right thing to do.

Higher Power, of my understanding, please let me respond to the right and wrong of my Higher Self--for the basic knowledge that was once so clear.

My Family Illness

My family has a disease and it's not me. My family drinks poison and serves poison up to each other, but I don't have to. My family chooses to deny the impact of addiction and the trauma that follows it but I don't have to. My family defends their right to stay sick but I want to get well. My family, for whatever reason, is determined to not identify the family illness that has made us all sick. But the illness stands out to me in Technicolor. I see it and I trust my own eyes.

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

When you place your sponsor on a pedestal you are like a child bragging to the other kids, 'Nah, nah, nah, my sponsor is better than your sponsor!'

I don't place my sponsor on a pedestal. It is only from a high place that they can fall.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

Addiction: touched by an angle. Recovery: touched by an angel.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

As I am learning to see the world through the eyes of love and compassion, I am becoming more and more full of love and compassion for myself and others.

I deserve to feel good about myself today and I am learning how.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

Why I tell you how long I've been sober is that there are so many new things happening in AA that one day we might get a pension plan going here, and I want to get my full benefit! - Norm A.