Accepting Life

[MajestyJo]

What is accepting life? Is it thinking everything is hunky dorey? I don't think so!

For me, a lot of it is accepting that I can handle life without picking up and having to use to deal with it.

Life didn't get better, I did. It is one of the spiritual principles of the first step. Until I can accept the fact that 'I' have a disease, not those around me, not those I work for, not my siblings, parents and spouse, but me!

Accepting the fact that in the past, the only way I could deal with life was to use. Not just prescription drugs and alcohol, but people, places and things. Looking to be accept, looking for attention, looking for affirmation, "Hey aren't I wonderful!" because couldn't find it within myself. I couldn't accept myself, so I had to go look for someone who did. I had to use something that made me not care how I felt, and I used places to distract me from what was going on because I didn't want to acknowledge it, or I found a place to hide in, or I just went out and got lost in the crowd. I looked for love in all the wrong places! It may be a song, but it was a theme for many years of my life.

If I can't accept me, then I am unable to accept life. Self-esteem, self-worth and self-respect were not something I knew existed. They were beaten out of me a long time ago, if I ever had them in the first place.

I have learned in life that I have to accept it, but I don't have to like it.

I have learned that by accepting life, it gives me more serenity.

I have learned that my acceptance will bring me to a point where I can be honest with me, and surrender to the fact that I am not in control.

God grant me the Serenity,
To accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

It is the last line that was my problem. I didn't realize I was as smart as I thought I was, and that I was in control and could change anything. Then I found some truth, my truth, that when I surrendered to my Higher Power, I was empowered to do what ever I needed to do for myself. The courage came, the direction came, and sometimes all it said was, "Let go!"