CANADIAN HUMOR

[MajestyJo]

A Little Canadian Humor,



Forget Rednecks,

Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Canucks.


If your local Dairy Queen is closed from

September through May,

You may live in Canada .



If someone in a Home Depot store

Offers you assistance and they don't work there,

You may live in Canada .



If you've worn shorts and a parka at the sametime,

You may live in Canada .



If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation

With someone who dialed a wrong number,

You may live in Canada ..



If 'Vacation' means going anywhere

South of Detroit for the weekend,

You may live in Canada .



If you measure distance in hours,

You may live in Canada .



If you know several people

Who have hit a deer more than once,

You may live in Canada .



If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C'

In the same day and back again,

You may live in Canada .


If you can drive 90 km/hr through 2 feet of snow

During a raging blizzard without flinching,

You may live in Canada .


If you install security lights on your house and garage,

But leave both unlocked,

You may live in Canada .


If you carry jumpers in your car

And your wife knows how to use them,

You may live in Canada .


If you design your kid's Halloween costume

To fit over a snowsuit,

You may live in Canada .


If the speed limit on the highway is 80 km --

You're going 90 and everybody is passing you,

You may live in Canada .


If driving is better in the winter

Because the potholes are filled with snow,

You may live in Canada .


If you know all 4 seasons:

Almost winter, winter, still winter,

And road construction,

You may live in Canada .


If you have more miles

On your snow blower than your car,

You may live in Canada .


If you find 2 degrees 'a little chilly',

You may live in Canada .

If you actually understand these jokes,

You definitely live in Canada .



Yes, They Have Blondes In Canada

An elderly blonde lived on a small farm in Canada,
just yards away from the North Dakota border.
Their land had been the subject of a minor dispute
between the United States and Canada for years.
The now widowed blonde, lived on the farm with
her son and three grandchildren.


One day, her son came into her room holding a
letter. "I just got some news, Mom," he said. "The
government has come to an agreement with the
people in Washington. They've decided that our
land is really part of the United States. We have
the right to approve or disapprove of the agreement.
What do you think?"

"What do I think?" his blonde mother said. "Sign it!
Call them right now and tell them we accept!
I don't think I could stand another one of those
Canadian winters!"