Trusting The Process

[MajestyJo]

Peace comes when one can accept that they are not the center.
Life or the energy of life,is a circle
Everyone, everything shares the same life force call it a spirit,energy,Karma etc etc.
It is important to find a way to feel this.
Sit beneath a giant tree with your back against it block out everything, you will feel the energy flowing from the tree into you.
It seeks to have you part of the circle.
When one becomes apart of the circle they can feel the whole circle.
When I make my self the center I take myself out of the
circle.
It does not matter what belief you want to believe what doctrine you profess.
If you have eyes look around, someone something much much greater than i put this all together.
Nothing is by accident and nothing is written in stone for my human experience I call life.
Feel the life force all around and you can feel peace and serenity.

mender1 - used with permission

One of the greatest feeling that I have experienced in recovery was at my first home group. It was a Women's Discussion Group and we stood up and joined hands after the meeting, gave out chips and read the Promises while in that circle while joining hands and closing with the Lord's Prayer.

I have come close to that feeling several times, but nothing was ever quite as powerful as that group for the first three years of my recovery. I referred to that group as my bread and butter and the Saturday morning meeting as my cake and ice cream. I went to other meetings, but it certainly was home. When I moved it was difficult for me to get there so I joined a Twelve Step Group, which ended up me being the only woman in the group. I started the circle at that group, and then I joined an open meeting with women members and brought the circle there too.

I have been back to the Women's Group several times and am often referred to as an Honorary member. When I am hurting really bad and need to get back to basics, that is one of the places I go when I can.

I am now a member of a Women's CA Discussion Group. I never used Cocaine or Crack, but I am was addicted to Codeine and a new substance called computers. I like it because I have always known I was an addict, some is good, more is better in what ever I choose to do with my life, and their material is AA literature. God willing I will be celebrating 13 years this August, and it wasn't until last year after the AA conference that the words came to me, "I used alcohol like I used everything else in my life!" That phrase brought a lot of peace and serenity to me.

I stole a glass of wine at 10, was given Valium at 16, and didn't start drinking until I was 21. From the time I was 29, I was only governed by the amount that was available. Note that the change took 8 years, yet the first time I went out and drank socially I had 8 rum and coke. They told me in AA that wasn't social drinking. I said it was different than the social drinking I did before I came into recovery. In the last years of my drinking it was, "if you are going to have a drink SO SHALL I!"

I think I shared in my story that I was in Akron, Ohio for my ex-husband's cousin's wedding. I was too sick to drink the wine at the burgundy breakfast the next morning and I was so hung over that I couldn't help with the driving home. Yet I remained in denial about my alcoholism and didn't find acceptance for two years after I got here. I think it just took me that long to detox and for the brain to clear so I could face reality.

Sorry if this is a repeat.