Alcoholism: Disease or Bad Habit?

[MajestyJo]

Understanding my problem...

While AA has always considered alcoholism a disease, controversy still simmers over its definition. In the past, alcoholism has been considered a sin, a sickness, or just a very bad habit. More recently, there has been a suggestion that some "problem drinkers" might not be alcoholics at all and can very possibly bring their drinking under control.

For me, it works both ways. It is an allergy, which is a physical malady and an obsession that takes over my mind. I do not metabolize alcohol as other people do. A dis-ease of the mind and spirit. Addiction is more than a bad habit. It isn't just an action that is repeated physically, but a mental obsession, which makes you think about the action even if you aren't acting out in it.

It is cunning, baffling and powerful. It tell you that this time it will be different. It tells you that you don't have it. It takes over the body, mind and spirit. It changed me into a person I didn't like and didn't know. My values changed, what use to be important faded and my priorities lessened and all I want was more alcohol. When alcohol stopped working, I look to other things to give that 'buzz' that excitement, that fix that made me feel that I was back in control and able to function. It was an illusion. When I tried to control it, I got hurt anyway. If you have to control it, it is already out of control.

Something I posted in March 2010 on another site

Don't see Alcoholism as a bad habit. Anything can become a bad habit. Mind you, we can become addicted to anything.

Many can't see it as a disease, but when I look at it as dis-ease, I can see how my illusions of being in control and in charge of my life was pure insanity.

I was at dis-ease within myself and I looked out of myself for ANYTHING that would make me feel better. When I found something, be it short-term, or long lasting, I clung to it and was not willing to let go. I didn't know that what I needed to do was go within, connect to the God of my understanding, and find the solutions. My sponsor use to say, "You have the answers within you." I replied, "Yes, but I don't know the question(s)!" It was when I stopped questioning and intellectualizing, that I was able to hear the answers.