Steps By The Big Book

[bluidkiti]

2.) How? The Second Column: “How did they hurt or threaten me?” (65: 2) After you have made the list of all the people, institutions, and principles that you resent, one at a time you are ready to begin to fill in the second column. You might consider selecting a few representative “grudges” to work on now, reserving the option to eventually work through all of them.

• We asked ourselves why we were angry. (64: 3)
• We set opposite each name our injuries. (65: 1)

Grudge List
Who? (People, Places, Things,
Institutions, Principles, etc.)
How? How they hurt or
threatened me.
…example… (65: 2)
Mr. Brown
His attention to my wife.
Told my wife of my mistress.
Brown may get my job.


Now that you have made a list of everything the people, places, institutions, principles, etc. on your list did to cause your resentment, you are ready to proceed to the Third Column. You list what part of yourself was affected by the actions of the person, place, institution, or principle that you resent.


3.) What? The Third Column: “What part of my Self did they hurt or threaten?” In most cases it was found that our self-esteem, our pocketbooks, our ambitions, our personal relationships (including sex) were hurt or threatened. (64: 3-65: 0)

• Was it our self-esteem, our security, our ambitions, our personal, or sex relations, which had been interfered with? (65: 1)
• Opposite each selected name, and every cause (65: 2) listed, one at a time succinctly write down in the third column what part of your self, or your instincts, or your actor’s role, was affected. [See: Each person is like an actor…. (60: 4)]
• [Heard in a meeting: “We list the three ‘S’s’ of the instinct of Self:

• 1. 1. • a.) Security instinct – material and emotional;
        • b.) Self-esteem instinct – fear for our very existence
        • c.) Sex instinct – relationship, companionship.”]
• Our resentments are part of our reaction to these perceived threats.

Grudge List
Who? (People, Places, Things, Institutions, Principles, etc.)
How? How they hurt or threatened me.
What? What part of self affected that I reacted to.
…example… (65: 2)
Mr. Brown


Brown may get my job.
Security
Self-esteem (fear)








p. 42
http://www.stepsbybigbook.net/