Steps By The Big Book

[bluidkiti]

TEP 4 Resentment Turnarounds


For every item in the Third Column we ask, “Where am I responsible?”
Make multiple copies or expand in your notebook.


For every Third Column situation or event, and reaction, fill in resentment ‘turnarounds.’
“Where am I responsible?” We write down and share precisely and in detail what our motives were.

• Putting out of our minds the wrongs others had done, [Second Column] we resolutely looked for our own mistakes. (67: 2)
• Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened? (67: 2)

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Where was I selfish? (67: 2) [Concern for self regardless of others. Self-absorbed.]
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Where was I dishonest? (67: 2) [A tendency to deceit, conceal our true character, lack perspective. We believed our own lies.]
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Where was I self-seeking (67: 2) or inconsiderate? (69: 1) [Concern for self over – or under – others.]
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Where was I frightened? (67: 2) [Habitual anxiety: Afraid of losing something we have, not getting something we want, or of being found out for who we are.]
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Write our faults. The inventory was ours, not the other man's. (67: 2) When we saw our faults we listed them. We placed them [faults] before us in black and white. (67: 2)


Where was I at fault? (67: 2) [A seismic gap between our own and others’ deeply held values or our own instincts in collision. Out of bounds? Miss the mark?]
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(Why do we act this way? Because….see p. 338)
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Willing to set matters straight. Were willing to set these matters straight. (67: 2)


Step 4 Resentment Turnaround Meditation / Prayer.


[Optional: God bless _____________(including myself), for they are a sick person, and but by your grace, there go I. I pray for their health, happiness, and prosperity. I pray I may show them the patience, tolerance, kindliness and love I would want to be shown or that I would show a sick friend. God save me from being hurt, threatened, insulted or angry. How may I help them? May thy will, not mine be done. (See 67: 0; 552: 1)]


pp. 51-52