Defects of Character

[MajestyJo]

Honest/Dishonest

Honestly, at the moment, I am having problems getting motivated.

With my sleeping disorder, Sometimes I wake up to sunlight and other times, I am going to bed and miss a lot of it, which is why the motivation is lacking. I find myself saying, "I can't do this because.... It is very negative, and what I put out comes back to me.

Honesty is the best policy. How many times have we said that and thought, "Yahdy, Yahdy, Dah! I needed that self-honest to heal and get better. It isn't about other people, places, and things, it is about me and how I react to the situation in the moment.

Often make a list, so I wouldn't forget the things I need to discuss with my doctor, sponsor, son, etc. It isn't that I don't want to tell, I often forget. Then I forget my list, and then I feel dejected. How can I get my needs met,if he/she doesn't see the whole picture.

So often in the past, I only told people what I thought they wanted to hear. Who am I to judge? Who am I to make the decision for someone else? Then I have to ask, "Who am I to hurt someone by telling them the truth. They need to find their own answers." My sponsor always said, "Go within, you have all the answers." I would reply, "Yes but I don't always know what the question is." That is why we have sponsors!

I know my tongue use to be a weapon, today I try to use it to put people back together. That means being honest, speaking my truth. It is my truth and I came to realize that my truth isn't always that of others. I have a right to my own, yet in turn, to have my truth respected, I needed to respect that of others. I didn't have to agree. They didn't have to agree. We could agree to disagree.

Honesty is the best policy. Self-honesty helps me to heal and grow.