Defects of Character

[MajestyJo]

Forgiving/Resentful

"Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is
not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget
creates a new way to remember". We change the memory of our
past into a hope for our future". - - Lewis B. Smedes

Need a whole lot of work on this chip at the best of times, they say it is an Aires nature to be unforgiving. I know it is true when it comes to myself and that I can quite often get mini-resentment and have to use the tools of the program to let them go.

After Thanksgiving last Monday, I am still harbouring a whopper that doesn't seem to want to go. I think I need to reinforce the prayers because I am not too sure that I have been really willing to let them go.

I am certainly not willing to let by gones be by gones. I am not sure I want to have this person in my life any more as the incident was not the first time she promised something and never called to cancel and was a no show. Guess I trust people too much and always expect the best from them, hoping this time will be different. My biggest fault through all this was issuing the invitation in the first place and expecting different results.

Written in 2010

Realized a long time ago that I don't have to pay forever and ever about what I did in the past. It is done, I can't change it, and all I can do is try to be the best me I can be in today. No more "You owe me!" or "That's your job" or "That's your role." I don't allow others to define who I am or who I should be. When I feel like that, I know to pack the bags, and get out of there. Thank God for the program!

They say if you have a resentment against someone to pray for them for three weeks. That includes me, asking my God to heal me.