Defects of Character

[MajestyJo]

Moral/Immoral

"Coming to believe in a Higher Power gives us a new, broader
perspective. We learn the security of trusting eternal values
and moral principles. - - "Food for Thought"

For me it was about self-honesty that made the difference. I had cloaked myself in denial for so long that it was important to truly look at myself and stop comparing myself with others and take a good look at who I really was. It was important to look at the positive as well as the negative and use the Steps to change.

Posted in 2010. I used the word compare here, but it wasn't the right word to use. I had to identify, not compare. When I compared, I stayed sick.

Self-honesty didn't come easy, especially when aided by my judgmental attitude.

Those rose-coloured glasses can be deceiving. They can lighten up a blighten up a scenery, especially if in our mind we don't want to go there.

Recover takes work, and as we go through the Steps, we become enlightened and more honest.

For example: I was raised to be a good Christian girl, who went to church 3 times on Sunday. I was dressed 'up' in prissy clothes, frills (ugh), gloves, nylons and garter belts. I know, I am old. I was born in 1942, the year the war was ending.

That same girl became very outgoing, very social, and loved attention, especially if you are going to buy me a drink. I had a mouth that was totally garbage, and I the abused became the abuser,not only of others but to herself. As a girl in recovery said, when she saw my old dart team picture, "I don't think I would have liked to have been your friend back then."

I acted out in my disease and it changed me. That person isn't here any more, neither is the upright self-righteous Christian girl that I was raised to be.

The program is about change. Why would I want to remain in my disease? As my sponsor said, "You have been transformed like a butterfly." Thank God for the freedom of recovery.