Defects of Character

[MajestyJo]

Willingness/Stubborn

So often I have to pray for the willingness to be willing. Right from the first, I was willing to do what ever it took to stay clean and sober. For me to use is to die. As I said to my friend today, "Twice today I felt like a cigarette." For me to pick up a cigarette would put a nail in my coffin for sure, faster than a drink would. I know it is emotions that bring on the feeling. It was really busy and there were a lot of people in the mall. The noise was a high buzz and far above the level that is comfortable for me. Fibromyalgia makes you sensitive to noise and my Fibro has been working overtime lately. I always stubbornly refuse to give into the feeling, I know to pick up is to die. As they say, "Just because you have a feeling, you don't have to act on it."