Defects of Character

[MajestyJo]

and gracious. I know I am thankful for the people that have been put in my path over the years.

My father told me years ago when I was in my 20s, that I was more contrary than stubborn. I did dig in and say, "Won't when it came to cigarettes for a long time, I just didn't want to give up that last addiction." I used the program to quit, and instead of gaining weight, I lost 3 lbs. and as the saying goes, "Fear kept me sick."

Many thought I was a self-righteous sinner when I did quit. I found out I was allergic to smoke of all kinds, and couldn't hang around people who smoked. I lost a lot of friends. I had been in recovery for 7 years when I made the decision to quit. I wanted to be a clean clear channel to carry the message of recovery. That was 18 years ago, and there are times even in today that I think, a cigarette would be great right now, but I chase that thought with, "Just for today, I choose not to use. The same is applicable to my eating disorder, and I had to turn over my love of Lottery Tickets to my God and apply the program there too.

I don't like to think that I am stubborn and I won't pick up, for me that isn't spiritual. It is about taking my thinkiing to my God and asking for it to be changed. Take those obsessive feelings away, instead of hanging on with gritted teeth and clenched fists.