Defects of Character

[MajestyJo]

Thank you for your kind words. Many times I have found words coming out of my mouth when I have shared my story and thought, now why did I say that, I vowed never to tell a soul, never mind a room full of people. Yet every time I get up to speak, I say the Serenity Prayer, say the Third and Seventh Step Prayers to get out of the way so my Higher Power can speak through me, instead of me getting up there saying what I think I should say and what I think I should say for your Higher Good.

Many times I have had women say, "I thought I was the only one that had felt like that or had that happen to them." Men and women coming up and sharing that they identified with what I shared. I say, "Tell me what I said, so we both know, because I am a channel and once the words are said, they are gone." Many times I think of what I didn't say instead of what I did say, which is ego, knowing what was said was meant to be said and God given and when I start to hum and haw when I am speaking, it is time to shut up, because God is finished, and anything after that is me and coming from the top of my head.

Even when I am typing a post, I have to reread what I wrote and then there are times I don't reread, and then there are times I should!

We can get on a pedestal and be a bleeding deacon at times. Sometimes we like an audience, especially if there is no one else talking and you feel like you have to fill up the silence.

What I like is the fact that the story never grows old. It is just the same today as it did 20 years ago when I came in, 70 years ago when it originated, or yesterday.

I have also been put on that pedestal over the years and it is a long way down when you fall off. It is also very sad and lonely, when you find yourself there be it up or down, so try not to allow it to happen. I am not deserving of a pedestal, but I do deserve a boost once in a while. I don't need a boot, but I do need a hand up or a hand down, when I get a step too high or step down too low.