Defects of Character

[MajestyJo]

"Faith supplies staying power. Anyone can keep going when the
going is good, but some extra ingredient is needed to keep you
fighting when it seems that everything is against you"

-Norman Vincent Peale

Never realized how much of my life was fear based. It was there in different ways, and lots of times was overcome by bravado and with an defensive attitude, not wanting others to know.

I would not be alive or clean and sober today if I allowed fear to run my life. I think the most difficult part is recognizing it for what it is when it comes creeping in. The biggest difference in today is that in today, I know that my God has my back.

The biggest challenge is my short term memory because I sometimes misplace Him or forget to take Him with me on my travels and have to go back for Him.

As they say, fear and faith can't occupy the same space. I have heard a lot of people disagree with this. I know I have felt fear, and held on tight and not wanting to let go. The fear of the unknown is my biggest obstacle, I have always wanted to be 'in the know' and often hold onto the old because I don't know what is going to replace it.

In today I prefer "Face everything and recovery" to the old way of "Fear everything and run."

Fear -or- Faith

"Fear makes the wolf bigger than he is." - -German Proverb

I know that when I came into recovery, I learned to have faith in the program and know it would work for me. Through the program, I regained a faith and trust in my Higher Power which led to having trust and faith in myself as a woman.

"As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no
longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will
flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your
great delight and benefit". — Emmanuel

Control is an illusion. Sometimes I think it is faith, but on perusal, it is still fear based and conditional. A part of me is still saying, "Don't tell me, show me."