Defects of Character

[MajestyJo]

Aware of others -or- Self-centered

This has been an issue the last few weeks, probably because I have been so upset about what is going on with my landlord, my son, and a lot of my health issues. A lot of what I call compounded interest, I would work away at the surface, but never seemed to get to the bottom of things or get an answer or the results I needed to resolve things.

Here is a post I made in 2011:

Looked at this earlier but ran out of time. I was thinking of it on the way home. I try to be aware of the people around me and it always amazes me how people seem to just rush around, turn a blind eye to everything and everyone around them.

Pushing my walker to the bus stop, I had to stop and let several people go by me, had to go around a couple of obstacles. A woman sat in the handicapped section when I got on the bus, she didn't have a walker just a shopping cart. I asked if she could move it to let me buy but she couldn't so I lifted it up for her. I didn't ask her to move because she was elderly, much older than I am.

I watched a woman take two kids across the street on a Don't Walk and thought, is that what you are teaching them to do, what are they going to do when you aren't with them?

Even in my addiction, I had manners although on certain occasions they went out the window because I didn't care. In today I care and every time I see someone uptown, especially someone who I have seen in the rooms, begging, panhandling and drunk on the street, I thank them for carrying the message to me.

If they are using, I am the last person in the world they want to see. I don't acknowledge them, unless they say hello to me first.

In today, it is about the newcomer and carrying the message of recovery. I know my first sponsor had what I wanted. I looked at her and she oozed peace and serenity. I didn't think I would ever get there. I phoned my NA sponsor and spiritual adviser because I told him my day was 'off' and I didn't know what was wrong. I proceeded to share my day and he finally said, "Do you think it is possible that you just might have found some serenity?" I was floored. I know it in today and cherish it.

continued...